


Merlin, These Boys are Idiots 2: First War Remix

by gabriellelupin_black



Series: Wolfstar: Through The Ages [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 7th year too, Angst, Break Up and Make Up, Dom Remus Lupin, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, First War, Godfather Sirius, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sensitive Sirius Black, Sequel, Sirius and Remus are SO in love, Some Fluff, occasional smut, voldemort - Freeform, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:33:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 116,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25357777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabriellelupin_black/pseuds/gabriellelupin_black
Summary: Sirius and Remus try to figure out love while a war is raging.The Marauder's fight to protect, because that's what they do.A few weddings, a pregnancy, some horrible losses... This is Remus and Sirius through the first wizarding war.Comments and kudos are always welcome and appreciated :)))
Relationships: Alice Longbottom/Frank Longbottom, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Wolfstar: Through The Ages [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1829482
Comments: 108
Kudos: 99





	1. The Beginning - Remus

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the sequel of Merlin, These Boys are Idiots, and the second addition to my series!  
> This will still be about the boys beautiful relationship, and will show how they adapt and change in completely different settings.  
> Thank you to everyone who read my last fic and has come to read my second one!

“James! You cannot take points of First Years for being ‘scrawny brats’!” Lily shouted.  
“I can too! I’m Head Boy! I can do what I want!” He yelled back.  
“Potter, that is NOT how it works!” She screamed.  
Remus winced as he pulled himself out of bed, careful not to wake Sirius, and walked to the staircase. “YOU TWO! ITS EIGHT O’CLOCK ON A WEEKEND. SORT YOUR SHIT OUT OUTSIDE, OR NOT AT THIS UNGODLY HOUR!” Remus shouted. Clearing his throat and composing himself, he closed the room to the dorm.  
“Moony?” Sirius mumbled, still half asleep.  
“Hey, baby. Sleep okay?” Remus smiled, climbing back into bed.  
“Mmm. Slept good,” Sirius whispered into Remus’ neck. “Did you?”  
Remus wanted to say yes, but Sirius would figure out he was lying. “Not really. Moon tonight,” He explained.  
Sirius climbed on top of him. “Can I help?” He smirked.  
As much as Remus wanted to let Sirius get him off right now, he was so sore that he could barely move without wincing. “Too sore,” he frowned. “I’m sorry.”  
“Shhhhh! Moony! What have we said about being sorry?!”  
Remus laughed at Sirius’ saying as he repeated it. “Moony won’t be sorry unless he steps on Padfoot’s tail, if Padfoot isn’t sorry unless he steals Moony’s chocolate.”  
Sirius giggled. “Yes. Exactly.” Remus must look exhausted, because Sirius said softly “Baby, do you want to go back to sleep?”  
Remus was grateful for the suggestion. “Yes, please.” Remus wrapped his arm around Sirius and drifted off beside the love of his life.

——————————————————————

Remus was sitting against the wall in the shack, smoking a muggle cigarette. Attempting to relax before the moon was impossible, tried and tested, but it didn’t hurt to try. He heard footsteps coming up the stairs, and prayed that it was Sirius, rather than Poppy, or one of the others. He loved the boys, he did, he was just snappy, and didn’t want them to get offended. Remus’ ‘moon remarks’ as Sirius fondly named them, barely fazed Padfoot at all.  
The black-haired boy leant on the door frame and said “Hey, sexy,” in a tone that would have been seductive if Remus had the ability to take anything seriously.  
He swallowed a laugh, for Sirius’ benefit. “Hey love,” he smiled. “Come sit.” While Sirius made his way over to Remus, Remus pulled out his deck and offered it to Sirius. “Want one?”  
“Yes, thank you,” Sirius took a cigarette and lit it with magic.  
“Alright. We need to talk about something. It’s important.” Remus said, his face stern.  
Sirius looked worried, and responded “Did I do something wrong?”  
Fuck. Sometimes Remus forgets that Sirius lived in the Black household and is slowly trying to rebuild his genuine confidence.  
Remus softened his face instantly. “No, Pads, of course not. I was going to ask what you want to do for your birthday!”  
Sirius grinned. “Don’t care. Something with the Marauders. Maybe something with just you.”  
They smoked in silence, holding hands, then the moon was rising. Remus could feel it. “SIRIUS! COME DOWN, NOW!” Remus heard James yell.  
“Be a good wolf, baby,” Sirius whispered and pecked Remus on the cheek before turning into Padfoot and bounding down the stairs.  
Remus felt pain, burning pain, as his body shifted, as he lost his mind, as his senses heightened… and suddenly, he was the wolf.

——————————————————————

Remus woke up on the bed in the shack, covered by Sirius. Not a blanket, but a smaller boy who was clinging to Remus’ bruised body with all his might.  
It didn’t hurt. Somehow, when Sirius lay on him after the moon, it didn’t hurt. Remus stirred, waking Sirius up instantly. Sirius carefully moved off him, instead kneeling next to his aching body and kissing the worst bruises and cuts.  
Today, however, was different. “Moony?”  
“Mmm?”  
“Remember that time in the shack, before we got together?”  
Remus grinned. “How could I forget? That was the first time you ever touched me.”  
“Was it good, back then?” Sirius asked.  
“It’s always good with you.”  
“Can I try and make it better?”  
Remus almost moaned. “Yes. Do whatever you want.”

———————————————————————

Lying in the hospital wing, Remus realised, yet again, how lucky he was. He had a boyfriend who, although very flawed, was absolutely perfect to him.  
Some time later, Remus heard a faint voice. “Mooooooooony,” Sirius whined, waking Remus up.  
“I was sleeping,” Remus groaned.  
“Yes, and when we get back to the dorm you can go back to sleep.” Remus looked outside. It was already dark.  
“Oh, shit. Take me up?”  
Sirius smiled and grabbed his hand. “Always.” Remus went to thank Madam Pomfrey, but Sirius stopped him. “She’s at dinner. I told her I’d take you up. I honestly think she hates me way less than she used to.”  
Remus chuckled. “I don’t think she hates you at all.”  
Sirius furrowed his eyebrows and looked doubtful. “Well, we can always dream.”

———————————————————————

Back in the dorm, Sirius and Remus settled into bed. Just as they let themselves relax, James poked his head around the curtains.  
“Prongs?”  
“Oh, fuck. I didn’t ‘knock’. Remember last time I came in without warning? Couldn’t see anything except Sirius’ ass in the back of my mind for a week!”  
Sirius blushed and Remus laughed. “What is it?”  
“Marauders meeting. C’mon. Let’s go.”  
The boys climbed out of bed and took a seat on the floor at the end of Peter’s bed.  
“What’s this about?” Peter yawned.  
“We need to talk about something.”  
Nodding, Remus asked “Sure. Talk about what?”  
“This.” James slammed a copy of ‘The Daily Prophet’ onto the floor in the middle of their circle.  
“What is-“ Remus dropped his jaw. “Oh.” The front page of the newspaper showed the wreckage of a small wizarding village. Even though the image was censored, it was clear that there were bodies strewn around the streets. The headline flashed between ‘All Half-Bloods and Muggle-Borns Killed in Meterville’ and ‘Facing The Truth: What We Know About You-Know-Who’.  
“Fuck.” Stated Remus.  
“Shit.” Added Sirius.  
“Oh no,” whimpered Peter.  
“It’s bad.” James finished. “And we need to talk about it.”  
“What is there to talk about?” Peter asked. “We’re sixteen! What can we do?”  
The other three sighed. “Peter, we’re almost of age,” Remus explained. “If anyone is going to end up doing something about this, it’s us.”  
“Last time a dark wizard was as powerful as You-know-who, it was Grindelwald, and Dumbledore defeated him,” Peter argued. “Every dark wizard is different,” Sirius said. He quietly added “I would know.”  
Remus wrapped his arm around Sirius’ shoulders upon hearing the remark. “Look, if you don’t think you’ll help Pete, no one’s going to judge you for that.” James stated, honestly.  
Peter looked wary. “Are you guys going to?”  
The three boys said “Yes.”  
“Of course.”  
And “Obviously” at the same time.  
“Alright then. I’m in.” Peter agreed. Remus wanted to add something about not doing this unless he was sure, rather than just because his friends were, but Remus realised that the only reason Peter did anything is because his friends were, and chose to stay silent.  
“What are we going to do?” Sirius piped up.  
“I don’t know,” James sighed. “I don’t think there’s anything that we can do until school’s over. We just need to talk about it, and stop pretending that it isn’t happening. It is, and ignoring it isn’t going to make it go away.”  
“You know how this guy’s followers are called death eaters?” Remus snorted at Sirius’ comment.  
“Moony, WHAT about this is funny?!” Sirius exclaimed.  
“You called possibly the darkest wizard of all time ‘this guy’. I love you,” Remus chuckled, pecking Sirius on the cheek. Sirius blushed.  
“ANYWAY, yes, Sirius, we know how the followers are called death eaters.” James answered.  
“Well, Rosier, Avery and Macnair are looking for a way in…” Sirius trailed off.  
“And?” James asked.  
“So is Snape.” Sirius finished. Remus braced himself for an explosion.  
Funnily enough, he didn’t get one. All he got was a muttered “Should’ve bloody known,” from James.  
Remus was tired, so he decided he would say what all of them were avoiding saying. “There’s nothing we can do right now, there’s just not. But there will be a resistance, and I expect Dumbledore will lead it, and I don’t think this war is ending anytime soon, so we will join. And we’ll fight. And we’ll do what we need to do to save everyone, because we’re the Marauders, and that’s what we do.”  
The three boys cracked a smile for the first time that night.  
“Exactly, Moony. Sounds good.” James said warmly, Peter nodding and Sirius holding Remus’ hand tightly.

When they were all in bed, Sirius spoke into the darkness. “Guys?”  
“Yeah?” Peter and James chorused, with Remus whispering it into Sirius’ ear.  
“Don’t call him you know who. His name, is Voldemort.” As soon as the sharp words exited Sirius’ mouth, Remus threw up a two way silencing charm. Neither of them needed back-talk right now.

Remus and Sirius were silent for a few moments, before Remus spoke. He knew Sirius was holding something back when he told the boys about the death eaters.  
“Baby?”  
“Yeah, Moons?”  
“What aren’t you telling me?” Remus asked the question kindly, stroking Sirius’ hand to make sure that the boy knew he wasn’t angry.  
“I’m not not telling you, I’m not telling them,” Sirius explained.  
“Can you tell me?” Remus could sense that this was a sensitive subject, and he didn’t want to push Sirius too far.  
“Yeah, I can.” Sirius breathed deeply. “It’s just that-“ his breath hitched and he buried his face into Remus’ neck.  
“Hey, beautiful, it’s okay, it’s just me. You can tell me. You don’t have to, but you can, okay?”  
Tears were streaming down Sirius’ face and he was sobbing into Remus’ pillow. This is bad, thought Remus. Sirius doesn’t cry often, barely once since they got together.  
“My love, it’s okay, it’s okay,” Remus whispered, wiping tears out of Sirius’ eyes.  
“N-no its n-not,” Sirius hiccoughed, still hiding his face. Remus sighed, and tilted Sirius’ face so that it was on Remus’ chest, making sure the smaller boy could breathe. Sirius instantly calmed down.  
“It’s not okay,” he repeated, still quivering.  
“Pads, what’s going on?” Remus’ voice was shaking too. Something bad happened, and is happening.  
Sirius was silent for a moment before he shook his head, and spoke the words that Remus hoped he would never have to hear. “It’s Reg. He’s becoming a death eater.”


	2. Halloween - Sirius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A whole bunch of halloween pranks. Sirius takes it too far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was so fun to write!  
> It was nice to write about some pranks as well as the relationships between the Marauders.

Sirius woke up on October 31st with a smile on his face. Despite all of the death, and destruction, and everything going on with Reg, it was Halloween, one of the Marauders favourite pranking days of the year. “Happy Halloween, love,” Sirius whispered into Remus’ ear.  
“Happy Halloween,” Remus yawned.  
“LADS! UP AND AT EM!”   
“James,” Peter, Sirius and Remus moaned in unison.  
“So… early…” Peter sighed.  
Sirius pulled open the curtain to find James, fully dressed, wand in one hand, and a large piece of parchment in the other. “Prongs, I have never seen you dressed this early except on Halloween and April Fools Day.” Remus said. “Think about everything you could get done with the proper motiva-“  
“Moony, as much as I love you, you’re being a bore. All of you, get dressed, we have shit to do and things to fuck up!”  
Sirius cheered at these words, and jumped up, almost knocking Remus out of bed. As he dressed, he heard Remus whisper “Why are we friends with them?” To Peter.  
“Don’t ask me mate, you’re DATING one of them!” Peter responded in a yelled whisper. Yes, Sirius thought, Remus was dating him, and it was bloody brilliant.

Once all of the boys had their robes on, Sirius realised something. “Prongs… have you hidden all the clocks?”  
James sheepishly smiled. “Um… yeah?”  
Sirius sighed. “Why have you hidden all of the clocks?”  
“Dare I say that maybe it is not six-thirty?” Remus suggested.  
“Uh, yeah, about that…” James trailed off.  
“Prongs, what bloody time is it?!” Peter exclaimed.  
James mumbled something that none of them could understand. “Prongs?!” Even Sirius wanted to know, but not for the same reasons. Peter and Remus were tired, but Sirius was just excited for Halloween.  
“Four.” James whispered.  
“FOUR O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING?!” Remus yelled.  
“PRONGS, WHAT THE FUCK?!” Peter contributed.  
Sirius was laughing but immediately stopped when Remus shot a glare at him. “Yes, well, we’re already up now, aren’t we? So let’s get going!”  
“Prongs?” Said Remus calmly.  
“Yes Moony?” James smiled.  
“I hate you.”  
James beamed, unaffected. “Love you too, Moony! Alright, here’s what we have to do.”

————————————————————————

Half an hour later, James had sent Peter and Remus off to organise ‘Phase One’.  
“Why can’t I go with Moony?” Sirius had whined when James told them.  
“Because you and Moony will end up snogging, preventing you from getting anything else done,” James sighed. Sirius couldn’t argue. That was a valid point.  
Peter and Remus were working on transfiguring all of the chairs and desks in McGonagall’s classroom into domestic pets. Once there were rabbits, puppies, cats and kneazles hopping, pouncing and bounding around the classroom, they were to throw up a silencing charm and meet the other two boys at ‘Rendezvous Point One’. Sirius had pointed out multiple times that these names were ridiculous, but stopped arguing at the mention of code names “We already have code names James!”. James said that it was new code names for each of them, or code names for the plan. Sirius sighed and followed him to Slughorn’s classroom.

The plan for their pranks was to fill each teacher’s classroom with the thing they feared the most. McGonagall hated disobedient domestic animals and disarray of any sort, hence the pet farm that her classroom now represented.   
“So what is Slughorn most terrified of?” Peter had wondered.  
James had a wicked grin on his face. “Trolls.”  
“We are NOT letting TROLLS into the castle!” Remus had argued.  
“Moony, Moony, even I am not that stupid. Sirius and I, being the best at Transfiguration-“ Remus rolled his eyes “Will be transfiguring the desks and chairs into miniature trolls that will wreak havoc on the potions room all day!”  
Sirius had to admit, this prank was brilliant.

After silencing charms had been cast, and very angry two-foot-tall trolls were running around the Slughorn’s classroom, the boys met up at ‘Rendezvous Point One’.  
“Time check Moony?” Sirius asked.  
“Four-thirty. We have four more classrooms and the common rooms to do by six-thirty. We need to go, now.”  
Dispersing, Sirius and James headed towards the Charms classroom. Remus and Peter would be heading down to the greenhouses to transfigure every pair of earmuffs into flying fish. Weird fear, thought Sirius. Hilarious all the same.  
As James and Sirius entered the classroom and started to transfigure the desks and chairs, Sirius asked “Prongs, why do you think Flitwick is so scared of them?”  
“Honestly Padfoot, no idea. It’s throughly amusing for me though,” James grinned. There were deer running around the classroom, and James had transformed into Prongs and was flirting with a doe.  
“Seriously Prongs. Not. The. Time.”  
Huffing, James shifted back, locked the door and headed to the Divination room.   
“I don’t know James, this one seems a bit difficult,” Sirius frowned. The plan was to transfigure all of the crystal balls.  
“We’re the Marauders, Sirius.” James said, flicking his wand.  
“You can’t just say that every time there’s a problem!” Sirius huffed. He knew he couldn’t win, so he started firing the spell that gave the crystal balls legs and arms as quickly as he could. Once the room was officially mayhem, Sirius and James backed towards the door.   
“Ready, Padfoot?”  
“Always, Prongs.”  
“Clamorus!” The boys exclaimed together. “Shut it! Silencing charm!”  
The crystal balls begun screaming predictions, such as ‘You’re going to die!’ and ‘You’ll have a bastard child!’. Sirius thought that one was particularly amusing, considering the Pure-Blood Slytherins had Divination first.

Sirius and James crossed paths with James and Peter on the way to the next classrooms. They nodded quickly and kept running.  
Remus and Peter were heading to the Muggle Studies classroom, to fill the room with Professor Burbage’s worst fear. Muggle telephones that she couldn’t figure out how to answer. As the most muggle out of all of them, Remus offered to perform this prank.James and Sirius were panting as they reached the Defence Against the Dark Arts room. Sirius was particularly excited for the final classroom. The desks and chairs were charmed so that every time someone sat on them, the would turn into Donkeys that would speed off, taking the student with them. Professor Merrythought was terrified of donkeys, and her chair was charmed to change into the biggest donkey of them all. Ah, Sirius thought. The last Hogwarts Halloween. Bloody brilliant.

The common rooms were next. Peter and Remus were to banish all the books from the Ravenclaw common room and place cake, lots of cake, in their place. The Ravenclaws weren’t particularly scared of cake, Peter just thought this was highly amusing, and it’s Halloween, so why not? They would then replace every fluffy surface in the Hufflepuff common room with sandpaper. Remus didn’t like this idea, Sirius knew that, but he agreed anyway after Sirius gave him his puppy-dog eyes. Works every time.

Sirius and James headed down to the Slytherin common room. They had hidden under the cloak the night before to get the password, and they entered quietly.  
“Muffliatio,” James whispered.  
“I can’t help feeling this is a bit cruel,” muttered Sirius.  
“Moony’s rubbing off on you,” whispered James.  
Sirius felt incredibly guilty. “I don’t think we should do this.”   
“C’mon, don’t they deserve it?” James growled. “You know they do.” Sirius knew that they did. It still felt wrong.  
He and James had told the other two that they were charming the common room red and gold, when they had decided to do something much, much worse.  
Sirius just focused on the fact that death eaters, and Narcissa, were in the dorms, and he lifted his wand and started speaking.  
A few minutes later, Sirius and James were backed up against the entrance to the common room. The entire room was crawling with snakes. Snakes that hissed very aggressively if anyone got too close. Sirius had convinced James not to make them venomous. Mainly because he couldn’t stand the thought of Reg being bitten, even though he deserved it. The boys exited the common room, viciously creating more and more snakes on their way out, before they finally shut the door.  
James laughed all the way up to Gryffindor tower, while Sirius was filled with guilt. Not only did he take a prank way too far, but he lied to the one person who would never lie to him.   
It was almost six-thirty when the Marauders all reached Gryffindor tower. They crept up the stairs, and before they reached the top, Sirius rigged every single item in the common room to burst into (harmless, Remus insisted) fireworks. There was, after all, nothing that Gryffindor’s hated that being scared.

————————————————————————

“How’d you go, love?” Remus hugged Sirius. Sirius felt sick with guilt.  
“Yeah, fine,” he responded.  
“Hey, baby, you okay?” Remus made eye contact with Sirius.  
“I don’t know.” Sirius responded and climbed into his own bed, charming the curtains so that no one could get in.

————————————————————————

At seven-thirty, the boys heard the first yelp from downstairs in the common room. Sirius smiled. Hilarious.  
A few minutes later, more yelps accompanied the first. Then there were screams from the first years, and cackles from the sixth years. They were used to this by now.  
Just when it seemed like everything was going well, Sirius heard a scream. “JAMES FUCKING POTTER. GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!”  
Oh. Lily. They didn’t factor her into this plan. All of the boys followed James down the staircase, and were met with a furious Lily Evans.  
“What. Have. You. Done!” She yelled.  
“Lily, I didn’t do anything.” James managed to keep a straight face. She looked just as angry. “I swear to you, I didn’t. This wasn’t me.”  
Technically, James was telling the truth. Sirius was the one who’d caused this calamity.  
“Lils, he’s telling the truth. It wasn’t James,” Remus added softly.   
Lily knew that Remus would never lie to her, so she calmed instantly. “Fine then. Who was it?”   
“Lils, lets go to breakfast. No one’s going to admit to it right now, so let’s go downstairs, yeah?”  
She was still shaking with anger, but she responded calmly. “Alright. Let’s go.”

The great hall was mayhem. The Hufflepuff table were all sulking, the Ravenclaw’s faces were covered in cake while they complained “The books! Gone! All of them!”.  
The Gryffindors were laughing with each other.  
The Slytherins were running, screaming into the Great Hall.  
Remus leaned in to whisper in Sirius’ ear. “They’re that mad about a red and gold common room?” Remus laughed.  
Sirius felt sick.  
The entire Great Hall went quiet when a first year walked in with a snake around his shoulders. He was shaking.   
“SNAKES! EVERYWHERE! SNAKES!!!” A group of sixth years ran into the hall, screaming. A few girls walked in, crying, one of whom Sirius knew Remus was quite friendly with.  
Sirius glanced up to find Remus staring at him. “What did you do?” He asked calmly.  
“I’m sorry, I was just angry, I know it was too far, I just-“  
Remus cut him off. “You knew it was too far? And you did it anyway? This isn’t funny, Sirius, it’s cruel.”  
“It was just a prank,” Sirius pleaded.   
“Pranks are funny, Sirius. Pranks don’t make people cry and first years freeze up. This wasn’t a prank, this was revenge. I know you’re angry, but surely you could’ve done this without dragging everyone else into your drama?” Remus looked angry.  
“Please don’t be mad Moony, I’m sorry, I didn’t want anyone to get hurt-“  
“I’m not mad that you did it, Sirius. Disappointed, sure, but I’m not mad. I’m mad that you lied to me. You didn’t tell me you were going to do it, and even after you’d done it you lied to my face. I’ve never lied to you, and you found it so easy to do it to me.” Remus looked so broken. “Reg was in there you know?”  
“They’re not poisonous-“  
Remus sighed. “That doesn’t make it any better. I’m going for a walk.” Remus stood up and left. Lily watched him go and got up to follow him.  
“Remus,” Sirius begged. “Stop.”  
Sirius watched Remus help up two of the crying Slytherins and support them out of the hall.  
Remus was too nice for him. Would he ever stop fucking up?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if you guys wanted more relationship content! I just wanted to write some pranks because I'm feeling shit and felt like a laugh.  
> To everyone who came from my last fic, thank you so much.  
> You're the fucking best.  
> xo Gabs


	3. The Aftermath - Remus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All about Lily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted some back story on Lily. The next chapter we jump back into wolfstar, wolfstar, wolfstar.

Remus supported Ella, while Lily supported Pauline, and they took the girls to the hospital wing. The girls were genuinely in shock, and hadn’t stopped shaking since they left the common room.  
“One of them slid on my leg,” Ella whimpered. Remus and Ella had been friends since first year, and the fact that Sirius made her feel like this made him feel ashamed.  
“They were hissing s-so loudly,” Pauline sobbed. Lily stopped and gave her a hug.  
“It’s going to be okay, alright? Remus and I are going to get rid of them as soon as we get you to Madam Pomfrey,” Lily said softly.  
The two girls managed weak smiles. “Y-you don’t have to do that,” Ella whispered.   
“The thing is, we kind of do,” Remus explained.  
“Did you do it?” Pauline asked.  
“God, no, of course not. I would never. Neither would Lily.” Remus explained. “I just think we need to clean up our friends’ mess.”  
Pauline whimpered, losing her footing. “You need new friends.”  
“I’ve been telling him that for years. Too bad he’ll never listen,” Lily smiled.  
“I guess people in my house do really bad things sometimes, but I’m still friends with them.”  
Remus looked at Ella. “Just because people do bad things doesn’t mean they’re bad people.”“You’re really nice,” commented Pauline.  
“He is, he really is.” Lily agreed, Ella nodding.  
Remus blushed, not knowing what to say. “Okay, we’re at the hospital wing.”  
“Will you take us in?” Ella whispered.  
“Yeah, of course we will,” answered Lily. She pushed open the door. “Madam Pomfrey?” She called.  
“Lily? Is that you? I haven’t-“ Madam Pomfrey froze. “Oh no. What’s happened here?” She asked, worried.  
“Can I explain after they lie down?” Remus requested.  
“Oh, goodness, of course. Come to the beds at the end, they’re warmer,” Madam Pomfrey said, leading them to the white cubicles.  
The two girls lay down. Madam Pomfrey ushered Lily and Remus to the other end of the room. “What on earth happened?” She asked quietly.  
“Some idiots played a prank and filled the Slytherin common room wth hissing pythons.” Lily sighed.  
“They’re in shock. If they had a pre-existing fear of snakes this would have exacerbated it significantly,” Madam Pomfrey explained.  
“They’ll be okay, right?” Remus asked worriedly. Bloody hell, Sirius.  
“Yes, they will. I’ll give them a potion for shock and a dreamless sleep potion too,” Madam Pomfrey sighed. “They might need to sleep in here for a while. Being back there could be traumatic.”  
“Madam Pomfrey?” Lily asked.  
“Yes dear?”  
“I’m not saying they’re overreacting or anything, but why did this affect them so much?”  
Madam Pomfrey nodded and explained. “Well, you know all about boggarts, I assume?” Lily nodded. “Well, for these girls, snakes would be their boggarts. Remus, I’m assuming yours is the moon?” Remus nodded. “How does it make you feel when you see it?”  
Remus shuddered. “Terrified. Like I want to run and hide, and like there’s no life in me anymore.”  
“Exactly. Lily, what’s yours?”  
“My sister. Not Petunia, my younger one.” Remus was incredibly confused. Lily didn’t have a sister… Oh. “She died when she was three.”  
“I’m sorry, dear,” Poppy added. “When you see her, how do you feel?”  
“Like I just want to… die.” Lily whispered. Remus wrapped his arms around her.   
“That’s how the girls felt. Imagine being a room with hundreds of full moons, or hundreds of your sister.”  
“Oh. Fuck.” Lily gasped. “Sorry,” she apologised for her language.  
“Lily, I think that in this situation, it’s perfectly acceptable to say that.”  
Lily started crying. “Sorry, sorry, I’m trying not to, it’s just now I’m thinking about her-“  
“Shhh, dear. How about I write you a note and you can go back to the common room?” Madam Pomfrey offered. Lily glanced at Remus. “I’ll write Remus one too. I suspect that if this mornings events show anything it’s that not much will be done in class today.” Remus nodded.  
“Thank you, Poppy.”  
“Of course dear. Do you want to say goodbye to the others?” Lily and Remus nodded. They walked over to the end beds and found Pauline and Ella lying next to each other in one of them.  
“We’re gonna go,” Remus whispered.  
The two girls looked up. “Thank you. Both of you.”   
Remus and Lily grabbed their notes, and sighed, knowing what they had to do.  
They headed to the dungeons.

———————————————————————

“So who did it?” Lily asked as they walked.  
“Sirius and James.” Remus answered. He may as well tell the truth.  
“I don’t get why,” she sighed. “I know they hate the Slytherins, and if they want to set snakes on Narcissa, or Avery and Rosier and Macnair... and Snape…” Remus gulped. “They’re becoming death eaters. I’m muggle born, I have to know these things.” Remus, although shocked, nodded along.  
“But yeah, if they want to set snakes on them, or even Reg if Sirius is really angry, then go them, they can live their dreams. Those guys deserve it,” she explained. “But innocent first years who’ve only been here since September? And people like Pauline and Ella, who had to face an entire room of real boggarts?” She shook her head. “It’s not fair.”  
“Lily, can I ask you something?”  
“Yeah, ‘course.”  
“Do you think that this is what Sirius is really like, and he’s just acting around me? Or is he normal around me, and acting around them?”  
Lily considered this for a moment. “I think he’s himself around you, and acting around them.”  
“What makes you think that?”  
“No one can ‘act’ being genuinely happy. Sirius was raised in a hell house. If he has the opportunity to get back at them, then he’s going to take it.” Remus furrowed his eyebrows. “I’m not saying that he should take it, I’m just saying that to him, it’s all he can do to fight for himself.”  
Remus was perplexed. “I don’t get it. Why are you standing up for him?”  
“I’m not, I’m just being honest. Think about it this way. If Greyback was in that dormitory, would you want to fill it with snakes, just to get to him?”  
“Obviously. But that’s different-“  
“Is it though? He scarred you for life. Sirius’ parents did the same thing. His scars are just on the inside.”  
Remus paused. “You really think so?”  
Lily sighed. “Yeah. I really do.” They’d reached the common room. “Now let’s banish some pythons.”

————————————————————————

“Well, that was bloody unpleasant,” muttered Remus.  
“You’re telling me! Why were they so slimy?!”  
Remus laughed. “I suspect that was a trick of James’.”  
They’d been sitting in the Slytherin common room since the last python had been banished. They didn’t have the energy to get up.  
“It’s fucking miserable in here! No wonder they’re always in such a bad mood,” Remus sighed.  
Suddenly, the dungeon door swung open. Two first years whimpered. “Do you have more snakes?” One of them asked.  
“No, definitely not. We just got rid of them, that’s why we’re in here.”  
The first years beamed. “Thanks, Lily.”  
“How do you know my name?” She wondered, smiling.  
“My friend has a crush on you. He thinks you’re really smart and pretty.”  
Lily blushed. “Who’s your friend?”  
“I really shouldn’t say,” the young boy said. “He’s been secretly tutoring me and about ten other first years in Slytherin. He’s been teaching us to duel!”  
Remus was severely confused. “Are we friends with him?”  
The other first year rolled his eyes. “Come on Melvin,” he sighed. Making direct eye contact with Lily, he said “It’s James Potter.”  
Remus and Lily spluttered, lost for words.

———————————————————————-

“Let me get this straight. James Potter is tutoring first year SLYTHERINS and teaching them how to DUEL?!” Lily exclaimed.  
They were lying on Remus’ bed, trying to wrap their heads around the weirdest thing they had heard, possibly ever.  
“Yep. And he seems to be doing it voluntarily. Not even to impress you.” Remus wasn’t sure whether to cry or laugh. He settled with simply saying “What the fuck?”  
They lay in silence for a while, before Lily piped up. “You can ask, you know.”  
Remus exhaled. “I didn’t want to be rude.”  
“Most people think the same thing.”  
Remus turned to face her. “Who knows?”  
She sighed. “Marlene, Dorcas, and James.”  
Remus gaped. “WHAT?! You told him before me?!”  
Lily laughed. “Yes, I know. I kept going to tell you and then chickening out,” she said softly. “I told him that night in summer, before we found out we were head boy and girl. We talked a lot then.”  
“You really like him, don’t you,” Remus smirked.  
Lily sighed. “Unfortunately, it appears that I do. Can we not talk about him right now?”  
“Of course, not if you don’t want to.” Remus paused. “Do you want to tell me about your sister?”  
“Yeah, okay.” Lily composed herself. “I was seven, she was three. She was like my tiny best friend.” Lily paused. “There wasn’t anything wrong with her. I just went in one morning to tickle her awake, and she wasn’t breathing.”  
Remus squeezed Lily’s hand. “I’m sorry, Lily.”  
“Yeah. So am I.”  
Silence.  
“Remus?”  
“Lily?”  
“Give Sirius a chance.”  
This is a girl who just banished Sirius’ snakes for hours and helped a girl in shock to the hospital wing. He owed her this.  
“Yeah. Okay.”

__________________________________________________

Remus was reading on his bed when Sirius came in.  
“Moony?” Remus looked up. “I’m sorry.”  
“I know. I got rid of the snakes, by the way.” Remus said softly. “Now c’mere.”  
Sirius crawled next to Remus. “I just wanted them to be as scared as I was when I lived there. I tried to tell James I didn’t want to do it, but he said it would be funny.”  
Remus sighed. Sometimes, he thought. Bloody James. “I know. I get it.”  
“I shouldn’t have dragged other people into it.”“No, you shouldn’t have.”  
“I should’ve told you the truth.”  
“That, we can agree on.”  
“I don’t want to lose you.”  
“Pads, you’ll never lose me.”  
“I love you always.”  
“And I love you forever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel shite.  
> Writing is the only thing that helps.  
> Comment xoxo


	4. The 17th - Sirius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius gets pierced, there are drinking games, there is smut, and James and Lily getting their shit together.  
> This is Sirius Black's 17th Birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm starting this fic with a few fluffy chapters because chances are it will get pretty dark, what with the death and all.   
> If you don't like that, sorry, the intensity is coming.

On the third of November, Sirius was woken up by having a bucket of water thrown in his face, being levitated by his ankles and being kissed by Remus.  
“HEY! WE DECIDED THE WATER!” Yelled Peter.  
“NO, WE WERE GOING TO DO IT MY WAY!” Screamed James.  
“I just wanted to wake you up nicely, bloody hell,” Remus put his head in his hands. Sirius, once he was let down, gave Remus a kiss.  
“I liked your way best.” Sirius smiled.  
“Happy birthday baby,” Remus leaned in for a kiss when James and Peter started yelling.  
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU MASSIVE TWAT! YOU’RE OF AGE! WHAT A DAY!” James yelled, probably waking up all of Gryffindor tower.  
“Shut it James, we all know what Sirius wants: presents. They’re under your bed!” Peter laughed.  
Sirius actually wasn’t all that excited for presents. He didn’t know why. Probably because he’s already got everything he’s ever wanted.  
“This one’s from the parents.” James passed Sirius a small box.  
Sirius unwrapped it carefully, revealing a beautiful midnight blue watch. “This is bloody amazing!” He exclaimed. “I’ll write mum and dad today!”  
Peter handed Sirius his present. It was a collapsible record player for going away. Sirius beamed and thanked him.  
“My present is you living in my house, obviously, but I got you this, too,” James said, holding out an envelope. Sirius opened it tentatively and saw a wizarding photo, depicting James throwing eggs at 12 Grimmauld Place.   
Sirius laughed so hard that he cried. “Thank you James, you’re a true brother.”  
“Of course Padfoot, of course.”  
Remus held out a large, flat box. Sirius was intrigued. He unwrapped it and slowly opened the box, facing away from everyone.  
Oh my god. They were beautiful.  
Inside the box was a thick chain. Sirius always saw chains like these on muggle rockstars and talked about them constantly. And above the chain, were two small hooped earrings. Sirius loved his boyfriend so fucking much. There was a note peeking out from underneath the padding. ‘I can pierce them for you, if you want. I love you. - Moons’.  
Sirius stared wide-eyed at Remus. “I love you so much.”  
Remus smiled. “I love you too.”   
They kissed, until they were interrupted by James yelling “Well, what is it?!”  
Sirius realised he’d forgotten to show the others. He held out the box.“Holy shit Remus.” Peter gaped.  
“This is BRILLIANT.” James emphasised. “So when are we stabbing him?”  
All three boys looked to Sirius for an answer. “Now?” He suggested. They all cheered and tugged him to the bathroom.  
Sirius sat up on the bench. “Is this going to hurt?” He asked.  
“Not really. Only for a second. When I had one-“  
“WHAT?!” Screamed James. “YOU HAD A FUCKING EARRING?!”  
Remus rolled his eyes. “Anyway-“  
“Nah uh uh, I need to hear about this earring,” Sirius smirked.  
Remus sighed. “Fine. Summer holidays after fourth year. Got it to impress some muggle boy. Worked, too,” he smirked back.  
Sirius pouted. He hated the thought of Remus with anyone else. “Calm down Pads, I adore you.”  
Sirius smiled again and said “Well, are you going to stab me or not?”  
“You’re weirdly eager to have a needle pushed through your skin.”  
Sirius shrugged. “Do it.”  
“Okay, okay. I’ll count down from three. Three, two-“ Remus pushed the needle through.  
“Ow! Hate to break it to you, but that was not one!” Sirius huffed. “Barely hurt though!”  
“One more,” smiled Remus. “I’ll actually do it on one. Three-“  
“Can you not count! Bloody hell!” Sirius pouted. “That hurt.”  
James and Peter were standing in shock. “H-how did you do that?” James whimpered.  
“Didn’t it hurt?!” Whispered Peter.  
Remus sniggered. “Nah. Not really,” Sirius answered.  
“You ready to see?” Remus asked.  
Oh, shit. He had earrings. He didn’t really register that until now. “Yeah. Sure.”  
Remus helped Sirius down off the counter and turned him around to face the mirror. “OH MY FUCKING GOD.” Sirius gaped. “THIS IS SO FUCKING COOL!”   
Remus laughed. “I’m glad you like them.”  
“Like them? I bloody LOVE them!”

The boys went down to the common room, where everyone wished Sirius a happy birthday. Lily came over with a wrapped gift for him.   
“As soon as I saw this, I thought of you,” she smiled kindly. “Happy Birthday, idiot.”  
Sirius was touched. “Thanks, Evans.”  
Sirius unwrapped the present to reveal a book. A book called ‘Erectile Dysfunction: The Do’s and Dont’s!’  
Sirius glared at Lily while the other boys howled with laugher. He started chasing her around the common room before she snuck out the portrait hole.

————————————————————————

James and Peter had done a Hogsmeade run through one of the passageways, and had come back panting, with five bottles of firewhisky and a case of butterbeer.  
Everyone cheered and started pouring shots. Alice, Frank, Dorcas, Marlene, Mary, Peter, James, Lily, Remus and Sirius sat in a circle. “Okay, it’s my birthday so you do what I say.”  
Remus interrupted “Ah, Sirius, I don’t think that’s how it work-“  
“ANYWAY, we’re playing truth or dare. If you refuse to answer the question or do a dare, you take three shots.”  
“THREE?!” Alice yelled. Everyone seemed outraged.  
“If you don’t want to take the shots, answer the question or do the dare!” Sirius smiled. “I’m first.” Everyone rolled their eyes. “Alice. Have you and Frank fucked?”   
She blushed bright red and muttered “No.”  
“Alright! Your turn.”  
She looked around the circle. “Marlene, truth or dare?”  
“Truth.”  
“Was Dorcas your first?”  
Everyone went ‘oooooo’ because no one actually knew the answer to the question.  
“No. But she will be my last.” Marlene kissed her girlfriend and Sirius mimed throwing up.  
“Lily. Truth or dare?”  
Almost immediately, Lily answered “Dare.”  
“Snog Potter.”  
James blushed, and Lily gasped, “Absolutely not!”  
“Three shots!” Shouted Sirius.  
“No way!” Protested Lily.  
“THEN SNOG POTTER!” Yelled Marlene and Sirius at the same time.  
“FINE!” Lily yelled, and crawled across the circle letting her lips collide with James’.  
“Oh. My. God.”  
“Holy shit.”  
“What is going on?”  
“Am I hallucinating?”  
“What the fuck?!”  
The circle was in a state of shock. Not to mention it had been five minutes and they were still snogging. Lily had moved into his lap and he had his arm around her neck.  
“Best. Birthday. Ever.” Sirius beamed.

An hour later, everyone was incredibly drunk and James and Lily were leaning on each other.  
Finally, someone asked Sirius a question. “Truth or dare, Sirius?” Smirked Dorcas.  
“Truth.”  
“Do you want to marry Remus?”  
Sirius blushed and hid his face. They’d never spoken about this and now he had to admit it in front of everyone. “Yeah. I do.”  
Sirius avoided Remus’ eyes, but felt him grab his hand and lead him upstairs. “The dorm’s ours for an hour. James and Lily, you can have it after.” The two didn’t even try and argue.

——————————————————————-

“You want to marry me?” Remus asked shyly.  
“Yeah. ‘Course,” Sirius responded nervously.  
“I love you so fucking much,” Remus growled, pushing Sirius back onto the bed.  
“Happy birthday to me,” Sirius smirked.  
“Mmm. I’m going to give you another present.”“Yeah? What is it?”  
“You’ll have to wait and see.” Remus peeled off Sirius’ top and shucked his own off straight after. He peppered kisses down Sirius’ body until he reached his waistband. He looked up at Sirius, asking for permission. Sirius nodded rapidly, and Remus peeled off his jeans and his boxers at the same time. “So fucking pretty,” Remus whispered, wrapping his hand around Sirius’ cock.  
Sirius moaned. They did this, they fucked, a lot, but every time it felt new and exciting. “More, please…” Sirius begged.  
“Only because it’s your birthday,” Remus whispered seductively. Sirius felt Remus’ mouth wrap around his cock, and he sighed, letting himself fall into bliss. Sirius felt Remus slip a slick finger inside of him, and then another, and another, before Remus pulled away from Sirius and pulled out his fingers.  
Sirius moaned in protest, feeling empty. “Baby, don’t worry, just wait,” Remus smirked.  
Suddenly, Remus was pushing inside him, thrusting slowly. “Moony, more. More, please,” Sirius pleaded.  
“You sure?” Remus whispered.  
“I want it hard, and fast, just the way you like it.” Sirius begged.  
Remus moaned and snapped his hips forward, fucking Sirius into next week. He wrapped his hand around Sirius, jerking him in time with his thrusts, until Sirius came, white hot between them. Remus followed, and Sirius felt himself fill up. Happy fucking birthday to me, he thought.

——————————————————————

They lay there for a while, before choosing to go down to the common room, finding Marlene, Dorcas, Alice, Mary and Peter curled up, half asleep.  
“Marls! Dorcas! Alice! Mary! Go to bed, you look exhausted.” Remus whispered.  
They all sat up and glared at Sirius, flicking their eyes to Remus occasionally. Sirius held up his hands in mock surrender. “The fuck did we do?!”  
“You,” Marlene snarled, “Took the dormitory.”  
“Leaving James and Lily, with no where to go.” Dorcas said angrily.  
Oh, Sirius thought. They’ve been kicked out. “Okay, you’re upset.”  
Dorcas looked outraged. “Upset? We are not ‘upset’!”  
Sirius looked at Remus, silently asking him to figure it out. “You’re… sad?” Remus asked.  
“No, Lupin, we are NOT sad, we are ANGRY! You and Sirius getting each other off means WE have to sleep out here all night!” Marlene shrieked.  
“We hate you, too. We’re just too tired to argue. We’re also scarred for life.” Mary said, gesturing to herself and Alice.  
“Scarred?” Sirius questioned.  
“James and Lily were too drunk to throw up a silencing charm,” Peter explained, pausing for Remus and Sirius to gasp, “So Alice and Mary, the least drunk, had to go up and stand outside the door to cast one.”  
“I, am SO sorry,” Remus genuinely apologised.  
“I’ll never unhear them…” Alice said, eyes distant.  
“Hey, you girls take our beds, we’ll sleep down here, alright?” Sirius offered.  
“You better-“  
“Yes, Marlene, we’ll clean my bed thoroughly before you sleep there.”   
Marlene considered this, before deciding “Alright. We’ll sleep there, but you owe us!” She glared at them. “Come on, I’m tired! And one of you, sanitise Sirius’ bed!”  
Remus shook his head and followed Marlene up the stairs. She beckoned for the other girls to follow.  
“I still don’t see why I’m sleeping down here. I got kicked out of my room, just like they did,” Peter huffed, crossing his arms.  
Sirius sighed. “It’s called being a gentleman, Peter.”  
Remus came downstairs, shaking his head and saying “Padfoot! There are SO many crumbs in your bed!”  
“Yes, that’s why we sleep in yours,” Sirius responded, obviously.  
“Shut up, both of you. Sirius, it’s two in the morning, and not your birthday anymore. So stop being a twat, and go the fuck to sleep!”  
Sirius and Remus curled up on the couch, opposite Peter, who was folded up in an arm chair.  
Damn good birthday, thought Sirius.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FEEL SO SHIT AND THIS FIC IS THE ONLY THING HELPING!!!  
> i wanted Sirius with earrings and I wanted James and Lily. So, I did it. Why the fuck not?
> 
> xoxo Gabby


	5. The Christmas Holidays - Remus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas at the Potters, and Sirius finds a new home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to bring back Hokey from first fic. I feel like she's dobby's mother.
> 
> This was meant to be a short chapter, focusing on the last paragraph or so, but here's a chapter about the war, relationships, and Sirius' new flat!

Remus was lounging on the couch in Mr Potter’s den, Sirius asleep in his lap. James and Peter were plotting some kind of total world domination, and Sirius was feeling sick, so Remus had taken him to the warmest room in the house and thrown a blanket over him, letting his boyfriend sleep.  
Since Sirius’ birthday, Lily and James had blushed at every glance from the other, giggling every time they brushed hands. Remus and Sirius had decided that if James and Lily got together, it was proof that miracles really could happen. Remus and Sirius were more loved up than ever, Sirius’ declaration that he wanted to be with Remus forever fuelling their relationship with an intensity that they didn’t know existed. They were to be together, forever, Remus had decided. He knew that Sirius wanted the same thing. They didn’t need to say it. They both just knew.

Unfortunately, it was undeniable that a war really was brewing. There had been more random attacks, and muggles were being killed for sport. Families like the Blacks had started pledging their allegiance to the dark side, and Remus knew that Bellatrix was responsible for at least one of the muggle murders. The Marauders had started spending less time plotting pranks, and more time researching. “The more we know about the enemy, the more we know about how to destroy them.” Sirius had said. Remus had noticed that James was more determined than ever to help with the research. Remus suspected that he wanted to learn how to protect Lily. He used to see James’ adoration for the redhead as a joke, but Remus had realised that James really, truly loved her, and he suspected that she loved James just as much. Sirius had more motivation to help than the rest of them combined. Remus knew that he blamed himself for part of this. Sirius grew up in a house full of dark wizards, and as much as he distanced himself from them, he couldn’t let that go. Peter was scared, they all knew it. He would never admit it, but Peter secretly wished that he didn’t feel like he needed to be part of this resistance. They all knew that, too. James had tried offering Peter an out, more times than Remus could count, but Peter was too eager to please to ever give in.   
Remus was the most scared of them all. He wouldn’t show it, but he suspected that Sirius knew. Remus was a dark creature. Werewolves have been in books of Dark Magic since Wizardkind discovered them, and dark creatures are naturally associated with dark wizards. Remus wouldn’t be able to escape who he was once school was over. A dark creature would have a hard enough time getting jobs, even without a dark war brewing. It was pointless, Remus knew, to even think about getting a decent job. It wasn’t going to happen. When he had said this to the Marauders, even they didn’t strongly disagree with him like they used to. Everything was falling apart.

Then Remus looked down at the head in his lap. Sirius. Remus wanted to fight for him, he wanted to resist for him, and he wanted this all to be over so that he could love him without fear. The guilt about pulling Sirius down to Remus’ lowly status would never subside, however it was much easier to accept that Sirius was going to give up a lot for Remus when James had privately pointed out that Remus would be giving up a lot for Sirius, too. Remus knew that Sirius was what the muggles called mentally ill. He had something that they called ‘Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder’ and Remus suspected that something was going on with his mood, too. Remus still loved him, and wanted him forever, so he was starting to slowly accept that Sirius wanted him, too.

Remus looked out the window, and saw that it was snowing. Sirius loved the snow.  
“Hey, Pads, wake up,” Remus whispered, subtly shaking Sirius’ shoulder. “Whasgoingon?” Sirius mumbled, sitting up slowly.  
“Look outside baby!” Remus smiled.  
Sirius sat up slowly and started out the window, eyes wide and jaw dropped. “SNOW!” He yelled.  
Remus laughed. “Yeah, Pads, snow!”  
Sirius sighed and sat on Remus’ lap. “I love snow.”  
Remus pulled him in and kissed him. “Yeah. I know you do.”

———————————————————————————

On December 22nd, the four boys and Mr and Mrs Potter sat down to a dinner prepared by Hokey, the Potters shared house elf. Today, Mr Potter had asked Hokey if she would like sit at the table. The elf had covered her eyes and run away screaming.  
Mr Potter sighed. “I’ll get her.”  
He returned with a blushing Hokey a few minutes later. “Sirs and Miss, Master Potter has asked if Hokey would sit at the table, would any of you masters and missus object?” Hokey asked nervously.  
“Of course not!” Sirius beamed. Remus smiled to himself. Since living with Kreacher, Sirius had developed a new found affection for house elves.   
The rest of the table announced that they had no objection. “Come sit next to me!” Sirius requested, gesturing to the cleared spot next to him.  
“Of course, master!” Hokey squeaked, climbing onto the chair.  
The rest of the dinner was full of laughing, and stories, and genuine moments of happiness. They ignoring the sad reality that this would be the last Christmas that they would all be together, due to the war.  
Hokey cleared up, thanking them profusely for asking her to sit at the table, and the boys made their way upstairs. Saying their goodnights, Remus and Sirius shut the door to Sirius’ room. 

They changed in silence, and anxiety filled the air. As they lay in bed, Sirius spoke. “Are we going to talk about it?”  
Remus sighed. “I guess we should.” He propped himself up on his elbow, facing Sirius. “Are you scared?”  
Sirius frowned. “Are you?”  
Remus spoke quietly, answering Sirius. “Yeah. I think I am.”  
“Moony?” Sirius asked, voice breaking.  
“Yeah, Pads?”  
“I’m scared too.”  
They wrapped themselves around each other, and tried not to think.

——————————————————————————-

“Mum!”   
Remus jumped awake to James and Euphemia standing in the doorway. Remus instinctively sunk down under the sheets.  
“What if they hadn’t been decent?!” James cried.  
Mrs Potter laughed. “They just looked so cute!”  
Sirius stood up and rolled his eyes at Remus. “Why the early wake up call Mum?”  
“Well-“  
“I want to tell him!” James cut her off. She threw up her hands, in a ‘go for it’ gesture.  
“Padfoot! Today we will be going to London!”  
Ah, fuck. Remus had forgotten this was today. Sirius frowned.“Not to see Satan and his Mistress, don’t worry. We are going…” James paused dramatically. “Apartment shopping!”  
Sirius stood in shock. “James! Don’t say it like that,” Euphemia sighed. “Sirius, dear, if you want to stay here, forever if you want, of course you can, we just thought if you wanted a place of your own, or to share…” she glanced at Remus “for after school, now would be a good time to look, being of age and all.” She smiled kindly.  
Sirius considered this for a moment. Then, he broke out into a grin. “Brilliant!” He shouted.   
Remus smiled. He didn’t assume he’d be living with Sirius, but he would be in London, so being close was relieving. “Get dressed, dummy. Let’s go!” Remus beamed.

Two hours later, they were in London, heading to an apartment building that Euphemia knew was occupied solely by magical folk.  
“Why this one, mum?” Sirius asked. Remus knew that it was because Euphemia knew a lot of the witches who lived there, meaning she could keep an eye on Sirius.  
“It’s nice. That’s why.” She smiled. “Alright! We’re here!”  
Whispering an incantation at the door, Sirius grabbed Remus’ hand and they entered. It was a modern building inside, a large white staircase with a black railing spiralling through the middle. A chandelier floated near the ceiling.  
Remus laughed at Sirius’ face. He was in awe. “Alright. It’s up a few levels. Sirius, tap your wand here, and we’ll be at your door.” Euphemia explained. James and Peter went to tap their wands as well.  
“No, boys, I believe you’re all still underage,” she held back a laugh. “See you up there!” With a snap, Euphemia and Sirius were gone.  
Remus traipsed up the stairs with Peter and James, listening to them complain all the way up.   
“What’s the bloody point of being a wizard?” James snapped.  
Peter just groaned.  
Once they reached level seven, Remus spotted Sirius. He made his way over to Flat 24. Sirius enveloped Remus in a hug. “Hey! What’s this for?” Remus laughed, returning the hug.  
“Missed you,” Sirius mumbled.  
“Pathetic.” James whispered as he walked past.  
Euphemia opened the door, and gestured for them to go inside. Remus’ eyes widened. Now this, he thought, was awesome.  
“Holy fuck,” James whispered.  
“Wow,” Peter added.  
“WOAH!” Sirius shouted, glancing at Remus, as if waiting for his approval.  
“It’s amazing, Pads!” Remus said genuinely. If a flat for Sirius existed, this was the one.

The flat was one massive room, with a kitchen at one end, space for a table in the middle and space for a lounge room on the other end. A muggle flat screen TV was mounted to the wall, and there were two built in cupboards lining one side of the room. Remus tentatively opened one of the cupboards and gaped. “Holy shit.” He whispered to himself. The cupboard was actually a door to another room, complete with a fully stocked bar (filled with Wizarding and Muggle liquor alike), a poker table and a pool table. Backing out of the room, Remus closed the cupboard. If that’s what was in one… what’s in the other?  
Remus hesitantly pushed open the second door. “What the fuck?!” He muttered. He was staring at a massive pool, complete with a bubbling spa. It looked like a prefect’s bathroom, but for a flat, Remus thought. He shut the cupboard, deciding he’d show Sirius once he’d already decided he wanted the place.  
Hearing “Woah! Remus, c’mere!” from the room in the left corner, Remus entered and was faced with Sirius, lying face up on the carpet.  
“What are you doing down there, love?”  
“It’s so big!” Sirius exclaimed.   
“Mate, we’ve been hearing that in the dorm ever since you two started shagging. I can’t hear those words without gagging.” Peter sighed.“Peter!” Remus hushed.

Once the flat had been thoroughly explored, Euphemia stood next to the fireplace and looked at Sirius. “It’s connected to the Floo network already.”   
“Perfect!” Sirius shouted. No one told him to be quiet. He deserved this.  
“So, what do you think?” She asked.  
“Well…” he trailed off.  
“SERIOUSLY?!” Peter yelled.   
“WHY ARE YOU EVEN THINKING ABOUT IT?! TAKE IT!” James finished.  
“I love it. All of it. It just doesn’t have a bath.” Sirius said plainly.  
James and Peter looked like they’d seen an inferi. Remus felt like he should probably show Sirius the pool.  
“A bath. You’re considering not getting this place because it doesn’t have a bath.” James said, sounding genuinely mystified.  
“I like baths,” Sirius explained.  
James and Peter opened their mouths before Remus interrupted them. “Pads, you should see something first.”  
Sirius started at him quizzically, but nodded and followed Remus to the cupboards. Remus opened the first one. “Look,” he said gently.  
“OH MY GOD!” James shouted, pushing past Sirius. “THERE’S A BAR?!” Remus heard Euphemia sigh.  
“…Woah.” Sirius whispered.   
“Oh, one more thing,” Remus added, regaining all of their attention.   
He pushed open the second door, and said “There’s your bath.”  
Remus had never seen such glee on Sirius’ face.  
“You’ll take it?” James asked. (Remus knew that he really wanted to make use of the bar.)  
“Wait!” Sirius yelled, turning to Remus.  
“What?” Remus asked, cocking his head.  
“Do you like it?”  
Remus shook his head. “It doesn’t matter if I like it! It’s yours!”  
Sirius asked again, slower this. time. “Remus. Do. You. Like. It.”  
Remus nodded enthusiastically. “It’s brilliant.”   
Turning to Euphemia, Sirius said, with complete certainty, “I’ll take it.”

————————————————————————

Back at the Potters, the boys were lounging in the sitting room. Peter was dozing, James was writing to Lily (writing and then rewriting, and rewriting again), and Remus and Sirius were lying on the lounge.   
Remus kept coming back to Sirius asking for his opinion. “Hey, baby, can I ask you something?”  
“Yeah, sure,” Sirius said lazily.  
“Why did you want why opinion on the apartment so badly?”  
Sirius shot up. “No reason.” He blurted out.  
“Padfoot. Why did you want my opinion?”  
“Moony! Always bloody ruining things!”  
Remus stared at him quizzically. Ruining things? “Huh?”  
Sirius sighed and muttered something to himself that sounded a lot like ‘bloody hell’. “Fine. This could have been far more romantic, but you ruined it. Blame yourself.”  
Remus nodded, amused. “Alright, consider me blamed. Now explain!”  
“Remus Lupin, would you like to move in with me?”  
Remus couldn’t remember ever feeling this happy, this… hopeful. “Sirius Black, of course I will, you bloody bastard.”  
They beamed at each other, and once they started smiling, they couldn’t stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed to get them moving in together, and I meant for it to be short but the beginning was so angsty so I fluffed it up for the end.
> 
> Some real dark shit is coming, so I advise you to eat up the fluff while its being served.
> 
> i love my readers!  
> xo Gabs


	6. Death Eaters and Realisations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Death eaters in training, and Sirius asks for help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey. This is not my favourite chapter that I've ever written, but it's definitely the one most important to me. There was no mention of mental struggles in the books, and I feel like with everything that the boys went through, it's impossible that none of them dealth with these problems.
> 
> There are no mentions of mental illness in this chapter, but there are mentions of Walburga and Orion and Sirius' childhood.
> 
> Bottom notes for more information.

Sirius was leaning against the window of the Hogwarts Express. Remus had gone to sit with Ella and some of her Slytherin friends, because they invited him to talk and he couldn’t say no. Well, Sirius suspects he could have, but he’d rather settle on the idea that Remus went involuntarily. James and Lily were disgustingly smitten, if Sirius did say so himself. He lay his head against the window, trying to sleep, and was continuously interrupted by kissing noises.  
“You are DISGUSTING! I’m trying to sleep!” Sirius blurted out.  
“That is the single most hypocritical thing I have EVER heard! I had to master my NEWT LEVEL two-way silencing spells a year ago when you and Moony dearest started locking lips all bloody night! Shut up, and LET ME BE HAPPY!” James huffed.  
Sirius was in shock. He tried to speak, but couldn’t think of anything to say. Lily was desperately trying not to chuckle. “I’m going to see Marlene and Dorcas,” Sirius muttered.  
Lily interrupted “Sirius, if you’re looking for a lack of kissing noises, they’re probably not any better than-“  
“I KNOW EVANS! LET ME SULK!” Sirius stamped his foot, and went in search of Marlene and Dorcas.

Sirius found a compartment, the one the girls usually sat in, and It appeared that they had charmed the glass to be opaque. Sirius heard the familiar buzz of a silencing spell. “Disgusting,” he muttered to himself. Alright, Peter and Mary. One compartment over. Sirius went to enter and found Mary… crying? Oh, bloody hell. Definitely not there. Poor Pete. He’s crap with emotions.   
Sirius had to find Remus. This was his last resort, Sirius decided, because it required venturing into Slytherin territory, something he would generally rather swallow the Draught of Living Death than ever do voluntarily. I am in seventh year, Sirius thought, I am seventeen. I can use magic whenever I want. I escaped the BLACK FAMILY! I can walk past some Slytherins. I can do it, he decided.  
Walking down the corridor he received some odd looks from those in green ties. Some looks were of confusion, others of complete disgust. Bloody Ella sitting at the very end of the train. 

Sirius had almost reached Ella’s compartment, when he stopped and ducked immediately. Sirius realised that he still had the cloak in his muggle backpack from he and James’ adventure throwing dungbongs at Walburga and Orion on the platform (in retrospect, a horrible idea), so he threw it over himself and pressed himself as close to the window as possible. Inside the compartment, were Avery, Macnair, Rosier, Snape and… Regulus. He cast a charm to magnify the voices from inside, and held his wand up to his ear.  
“Lucius was the first to get one, I heard,” Avery said.  
“He’s betrothed to Narcissa now. Lucky bugger,” sighed Rosier. Sirius held back a snicker. Cissy dearest may be betrothed to Malfoy, but she would always come second to his hair products.  
“What do we do, now we have them?” Macnair asked. ‘Them’? Sirius wondered.  
“You’re all idiots. We wait until it burns, and then we know we’ve been summoned. We know where to go.” Snape answered.  
“Yeah, we go to the-“  
“Regulus!” Snape hissed, cutting the smaller boy off. “Not here!”  
“Sorry Severus,” Regulus frowned. “It feels weird, do any of yours feel weird?”  
All of them nodded. Macnair tried to explain. “It’s like, it doesn’t hurt, it just feels…”  
“Heavy?” Suggested Reg.  
“Yes! Heavy,” agreed Rosier.  
“Definitely.” Nodded Avery.  
“Yes, Regulus. It probably is, too. Lots of magic weighing it down.” Snape sighed.  
Sirius saw Avery fiddling with his robe. “Avery, what is it?” Snape asked, gentle this time.  
“Does its freak you out? Having dark magic burned onto you? Knowing that it will never go away?”  
Snape looked furious. “Are you having regrets, Avery?” He snapped.  
“No! No, of course not!” Avery said quickly. Sirius saw that he clearly was, but the rest of them didn’t seem to notice.  
“Are you having regrets? Rosier? Macnair?”  
The two shook their heads muttering variations of ‘of course not’.  
Snape turned to Regulus, who was avoiding eye contact. “Are you having regrets, Black?”  
Sirius saw his little brother’s eyes turn dark as he said, with complete confidence, “Of course not, Severus.”  
“Good.” Snape responded.  
“Why, Severus, are you?” Regulus said happily. Ah, Sirius thought. Sarcasm. He had taught his brother well.  
“That’s ridiculous, Regulus.” The rest of them raised their eyebrows, wanting a real answer. “No, I’m not having regrets.”

The Slytherins sat in silence for a moment. Sirius felt overwhelmed. This would’ve been enough to make him furious… had Regulus not been in there. Maybe there was hope. But what the fuck were they talking about?

“OUCH!” They all said in unison, bringing Sirius back to reality.  
“We need to look!” Called Macnair.  
“WAIT!” Hissed Snape. “Regulus, is anyone coming?”  
Sirius watched his brother come up to the window, their faces barely separated by no more than an inch of glass. Maybe Reg knew he was there. Or maybe the connection that they had was fading.  
“No. It’s clear.”  
“Okay, look.” Snape gave permission. All five boys pulled up their left sleeves. Sirius had to cover his mouth so that he didn’t gasp. The boys had the mark of the Death Eaters, black and menacing, moving slightly on their forearms.  
“Nothing. Same as they’ve looked since the beginning.” Avery confirmed.  
“I reckon we’ll just feel stuff like that sometimes. It’s part of the Dark Lord, after all, burned into our skin.” Rosier decided. “Didn’t it feel kind of… good? Powerful?”  
“Are you saying we have the power of He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named, Rosier?” Snape threatened.  
“No. I’m just saying it feels good to know that our loyalty has been rewarded. That’s all.”  
Sirius listened intently as Regulus spoke up. “I think someone’s coming.”  
They all pulled down their sleeves as some second years shuffled past Sirius.  
Fuck, he thought, as he wandered back to James and Lily, wanting to be as far away from that compartment as possible. Fuck.  
Maybe, just maybe, he can still be saved?

———————————————————————————

Sirius spent the rest of the day in the hospital wing. He had seen Madam Pomfrey to get something for shock, and she had insisted that he lie down and sleep, at least until dinner. He didn’t argue. It was a bit of a relief, really. He requested that no one be let in to see him. She raised her eyebrows. “Not even Remus?”  
He shook his head. “No one, Madam Pomfrey, please.” She nodded her head and pulled the blankets over him, telling him to get some sleep and that she would wake him for the feast. “Wait!” She shuffled back over to his bed. “I need help.” He didn’t have any other teacher that he could talk to, anyone else who he trusted as much as he trusted her.  
“Okay, Sirius. What’s going on?” She asked, taking na seat next to his bed.  
“I think something’s wrong with me,” he whispered.  
“What do you mean? Do you feel sick?”“No, not like that…” he shook his head. “I feel anxious, all the time, and I feel lonely for most of it. I just saw my brother, and I don’t think he’s himself anymore…. And I don’t know if I’m myself anymore, either.” It felt so good to say that out loud.  
“Do you friends know?” She asked softly.  
“They know part of it, I think Remus knows more than he tells me. I got hit, and cursed, and starved at the Black’s, and I thought that if I left I would forget about it. But I can’t.”  
She nodded, seeming to understand. “Something’s triggered this. What happened today?”  
Sirius thought about what he could say. He knew that whether or not the boys were death eater’s in training, if they weren’t practising dark magic on school grounds, nothing could be done about it. “Some boys in our year have the mark.” She looked confused. “The death eaters mark.”  
She gasped and clutched her chest. “Are you sure?”  
He nodded. “Saw it myself…”  
“There’s something else, isn’t there,” she said, grabbing his hand. “You can tell me. I’m here for your head as much as your body.”  
“My brother. He’s fifteen. He’s got the mark.” Sirius swore she almost fainted.

Sirius talked to Madam Pomfrey for what felt like hours. He told her all of the horrible things that he felt, and how there were days where he just couldn’t get up. He told her about the nightmares that haunted him every night, and about his boggart being his parents since he was young. He told her that he knew it was his fault his brother had been dragged into this, and maybe if he’d stayed at home it wouldn’t have happened. He admitted that his brother, growing up, was his only reason for eating, and sleeping, because he knew that he had to wake up in the morning for Regulus. He told her about getting his own apartment, and about being happy about that, but scared of being alone. He told her that his biggest fear was being alone, and there were times when he couldn’t avoid that. Being alone wasn’t lonely anymore, it was scary. He saw his parents, everywhere, and couldn’t stop thinking about his brother. He felt like he wasn’t good enough for his friends, and he couldn’t put any of this on Remus. He told her, finally, that he really needed help. “So yeah.” He finished.  
“I’m so, so sorry Sirius. I really, really am,” she sighed. Then, she smiled. “I have good news, though. There’s nothing wrong with you,” she paused. “Well, there is, but it’s not your fault. Nothing that’s happened is your fault.” He went to argue, but she held up her hand. “There are potions for this kind of thing. A lot of people at Hogwarts take them.”  
“No one talks about them though?”  
She shook her head. “No, they don’t. People are scared that if they tell people that they’re sick, in their head, not their body, people will think they’re crazy,” she explained.  
“Am I crazy?” He whispered.  
She smiled at him. “Yes, Sirius. But not because of this. You’re crazy because you filled Professor Slughorn’s classroom with tiny trolls. You’re crazy because you once made it rain. In the Great Hall and not even Professor Dumbledore himself could figure out how to fix it. You’re crazy, and so is Remus, and Mr Potter, and Mr Pettigrew. Being sad a lot, because you’ve been hurt your whole life, doesn’t make you crazy. It makes you brave. You looked after your brother, all those years, when you felt broken yourself.”  
“I had to, though,” Sirius sighed.  
“No, you actually didn’t. You could’ve left him to look after himself, the same way you had to look after yourself. You took curses for things that he did. You take detentions here for things that Remus does around the full moon.” Sirius went to disagree, but she cut him off. “We know these things, Sirius. You are not crazy, you just need a little bit of help.”  
“Is there a name for it? For what’s wrong with me?”  
She nodded. “Muggles have a name for it, but we don’t use it in this world. Muggles make it sound like it’s a problem that can’t be fixed, but Sirius, it can be fixed. You know how Mr Potter is happy, all the time? And Mr Pettigrew is the same? And, apart from the moon, so is Remus?” Sirius nodded. “You think they’re pretending, right? And that no one can be that happy?” He nodded again. “They’re not. You can feel like that.”  
“How?” He asked, mystified.  
“Take your potions, and come here once a week.”“That’s all?”“Well, there’s one more thing.” He raised his eyebrows. “You should tell Remus.”  
“I can’t, it would hurt him-“  
“That boy is stronger than you think. If you tell him, you’ll feel better, much, much faster.”  
He considered this for a moment. “Okay.”  
“Okay. I’m going to give you a potion. Take a sip every morning when you wake up, okay? And I’ll give you a dreamless sleep potion to take at night.”  
She handed him the potions, and walked away. “Wait, Madam Pomfrey?”  
“Yes, dear?”  
“What do I do about my brother?”  
She smiled. “Take a sip, of both the potions, and we can talk about it when you wake up.”  
Sirius did as he was asked, and fell into a sleep free of nightmares.

——————————————————————————————

Sirius woke up to Remus lying next to him. “Hi, Moony,” Sirius drawled.  
“Hey, baby.” Remus smiled. “You wanna tell me what’s going on?”  
Sirius nodded. “There’s something wrong with me. Like, in my head.” Sirius braced himself for the reaction.  
Remus nodded. “Yeah. I know.” Sirius looked shocked. “Figured it out a while ago.”  
“You don’t hate me?”  
“My love, I could never hate you. I will never hate you. No matter what you too, I could never, ever hate you.”  
“Oh.” Sirius frowned. “I was nervous for nothing then?”  
“Yes. You were,” Remus laughed. “What happened on the train?”  
Sirius thought he was sick of pretending, so he came out with it. “Reg has the mark. The death eater mark. So do Rosier, Avery, Macnair, and fucking Snape.”  
“Fucking hell!” Remus yelled.   
“Remus!” Madam Pomfrey called.  
“Sorry Poppy!” He called back.  
“I’m sorry, baby, I’m so sorry,” Remus pulled Sirius into a hug. “Hey, did Madam Pomfrey give you a potion? For your head?”  
“Yeah, she did.”  
“Can I see it?” Remus asked.  
Confused, Sirius shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah, sure.” He handed the potion to Remus.  
Remus smiled. “I look this all through second and third year.”  
“What?!” Sirius gasped. “Why?!”  
“Same reason as you. Couldn’t get out of bed, always lonely, nightmares. Had something to do with the werewolf thing, like I suspect this has something do with sociopath 1 and sociopath 2.”  
“I never knew… I’m sorry.”  
“Pads, I didn’t want anyone to know. But guess what?”  
“What?” Sirius asked meekly.  
“It worked. The potion worked, and I’m happy. Even during the moons, I’m happy.” Remus smiled. “I’ll remind you to take it every morning, okay? If you don’t want to sleep with me during this-“  
“Shut up, Moony, we’re always sleeping together.”  
Remus laughed. “Okay, okay. When we live together I’ll remind you if you’re still taking it. You’ve got this Pads, okay?”  
Sirius pulled Remus in and snuggled into his chest. “WE’VE got this.” Remus kissed him on the forehead, and they went up to the dorm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I poured a lot of myself into this chapter. Sirius, with how he's been treated, is struggling with a mental illness. Whatever you think it is, well, that's up to you.  
> The conversation between Madam Pomfrey and Sirius is a modified version of a conversation that I had in hospital yesterday, the same with the conversation with Remus.  
> It is important to spread awareness through literature. There are no explicit mentions of mental illness in this chapter, nor will there be in this fic, due to me not wanting to trigger anyone.  
> Mental illness is NOT something to be ashamed of.  
> Look out for your friends.  
> And ask for help. I did last week, and it's the best thing I've done.  
> So much love, Gabby x


	7. Sleuths and Truths - Remus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Peter spy, Lily pretends to be shy, they find out about the attack, and Remus tries to get Regulus back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loooong chapter. Pretty angsty. Here's some set up for the war.  
> Enjoy!

Remus and Sirius had been sitting on the floor at the end of Peter’s bed for a while now, eating Chocolate Frogs and talking about absolutely nothing.  
“Guys? We need to tell you something,” Sirius stammered.  
“Yeah, sure,” James responded, mouth full of chocolate. Peter just nodded. His teeth were stuck together with toffee.  
Sirus looked at Remus, expecting him to speak. “Well. Avery, Rosier, Macnair, Snape and Regulus have gotten the death eaters mark and have officially joined the dark side.”  
James dropped his jaw. (Small amounts of chocolate fell out). Peter gasped, which was difficult considering his teeth were stuck together. “Surely not!” Exclaimed James.  
“Can I get Lily?” He asked. Since James and Lily had finally gotten together, she had become a sort of honorary Marauder, so the boys nodded.   
“Yeah, you probably should.” Remus added. Lily was an incredible sleuth, and if anyone could get information out of Snape, it was her. James returned from the common room with Lily a minute later.  
“Hey, guys. What’s so important?” She asked. They all gestured to Remus. Why did he have to do all the talking?!  
“Avery, Rosier, Macnair, Snape and Regulus got the mark of the death eaters.” Remus said simply. He had said it so many times that he was strangely desensitised to the information.  
“Bloody fucking shit.” Lily sighed, taking a seat on James’ lap. “Can’t believe I was friends with him!” Sirius sighed. He hadn’t been friends with them, one of him was his brother.  
“What are we going to do?” Asked Peter. He had unstuck his mouth, but his jaw was stiff.  
“My girlfriend is going to sleuth,” James winked.  
“Oh no. I am not!” Lily exclaimed. They all stared at her with puppy dog eyes. She was slowly giving in, they all knew it. “Fine. But you owe me.”  
James smirked. He leaned to whisper in her ear. “How about…” Remus could no longer hear him, but Lily was blushing intensely.  
“Yep. okay. I’ll do it.”  
“What we need you to do is get a little close to Snape. Call him ‘Sev’ or whatever. Complain about James, that’s something you have in common,-“  
“Hey!” James protested.  
“Shut it. ‘For the greater good’.” Sirius continued.  
“Did you just use Grindelwald’s slogan about dominating Muggles as incentive for a muggleborn to do what you asked?” Remus smirked.  
“Yes. I did. Moving on-“ Remus laughed at Sirius’ response. “We also need something from Remus.”  
Remus looked shocked. He wasn’t aware he had to do anything? “Um, what?”  
Sirius looked nervous. “Okay, before you say no-“ Remus rolled his eyes. “-remember that you love me and this is for the benefit of the entire wizarding world.”  
“Sirius, you do realise you just reworded ‘for the greater good’, right?” Lily smirked.  
“Evans, you suck. Anyway, Moony, I need you to talk to… Regulus.”  
“ABSOLUTELY NOT!” Remus yelled.  
“Lily’s talking to Snape! Why can’t you talk to him?!” Sirius argued.  
Remus sighed. “Because I like Regulus, death eater or not, and I’m not going to blackmail him into giving me information.”  
Sirius paused for a moment, thinking. “Fine. But would you consider trying to ask him to abandon the cause?”Remus thought about this for a moment. There was no harm in just asking… Ugh. “Yeah, okay,” Remus groaned. “But you owe me.”  
“Yeah, I’ll suck-“  
“NO!” James, Lily and Peter screamed at the same time.  
“James said it to Lily!” Sirius retaliated.  
“Yeah! When no-one could hear!” He shouted. “Gross.” He muttered under his breath.  
“Whatever. Prongs, Wormtail and I have other jobs.” Sirius announced.  
“What are they?” Lily sighed, looking at Remus. They both knew the jobs would involve hexing of some kind.  
“Well, Wormtail and Prongs will sneak into the Slytherin common room under the cloak, and reside in Avery, Macnair, Snape and Rosier’s dormitory for the night.”  
Remus actually thought that could work. “I really don’t want to see those bastards changing,” James sighed.  
“I hate this plan,” Peter groaned, chewing on a cauldron cake.  
“Yes, well, sacrifices must be made.” Remus resisted telling Sirius that he still sounded like Grindelwald. “My part of the plan is by far the least desirable, but also the most fun.”  
“Oh no,” muttered Remus, head in his hands.  
“I will be hexing and jinxing the four death-eating seventh years and provoking them to the point where they, being the prats that they are, reveal that they’re death eaters, so they’ll always win.”  
“That’s actually a really good plan,” Lily said, hating herself for saying it.  
“Thanks, Evans!” Sirius beamed.   
“One condition!” Lily added.  
“Yeah?” They all responded.“Remus is under the cloak while I talk to Snape. As much as I hate to admit it, being alone with him now scares me.” She frowned.  
“Hey, why can’t I be under the cloak?!” James exclaimed.  
“Because if he says anything offensive, you’ll jump out and beat him up.”  
“What’s so bad about defending your honour?!”   
“It ruins the plan, Prongs!” Sirius yelled.  
“This could either work perfectly, or go very, very badly.” Lily stated.  
“Ah, Lilypad. We have been operating thinking that very thing during all of our pranks since first year. Hasn’t caused us any trouble yet!” James said excitedly.  
Lily frowned. “Combined, the Marauders have over four hundred detentions.”  
Sirius sighed, smiling happily. “Yes, Evans, and every hour was worth it.”

—————————————————————————————

It was decided that James and Peter’s part of the plan would take place first. Remus walked them down to the dungeons while Regulus, Avery, Rosier, Snape and Macnair were doing something suspicious near the forest. Remus saw them off as they tiptoed into the (empty, miraculously) common room and up the stairs to the boys dormitory.  
Remus tried his hardest not to worry, and headed back to the dorm.

Sirius was lying, shirtless, on Remus’ bed. “Hey baby,” Remus smiled.  
“Hey love. C’mere,” Sirius reached out his arms. Remus pulled his own shirt off and settled next to Sirius. “We have the dorm to ourselves tonight,” Sirius smirked.  
Remus blushed. “Yeah, we do.”  
“Wanna fuck?”  
Remus laughed. “So romantic, Pads.”  
Sirius leaned in close to Remus’ ear. “I don’t want romance. I want it hard and deep and fast. I want to feel you until we graduate.”  
Remus hardened immediately. “Mmm, I can do that.”

An hour later, the two boys were lying on Remus’ bed, sweaty and spent, covered in cum. “Gross.” Remus muttered.  
“Deal with it,” Sirius smirked.  
The sex they’d just had was incredible. Sirius had come three times, and Remus twice. They’d fucked slow, making love, and hard, trying to feel all of each other. There was a war, and they just wanted to be overwhelmed with the feeling of each other. It had worked.  
“Moony?”  
“Yeah, Pads?”  
“I love you so fucking much.”  
Remus beamed and kissed Sirius. “I love you too.”  
At that moment, Lily burst into the dormitory. “Hey, have you guys seen my-“ her eyes widened as she started at them.  
“OH MY GOD! LOCK THE FUCKING DOOR!” She ran out of the dorm, covering her eyes and screaming.

—————————————————————————————

The next morning, James and Peter stumbled into the dorm, looking like they’d seen a puppy die.  
“Jesus, what happened to you two?” Remus asked.  
“I will never be whole again,” Peter said, voice shaking.  
“Prongs?!” Asked Sirius.  
“Macnair sleeps naked. That’s all I have to say.” James collapsed on his bed, face down.  
Remus and Sirius swallowed their laughter, desperately trying not to smile.  
“I’m sorry for your loss.” Sirius said, sincerely.  
“Of what?” Peter whimpered.  
“Your innocence,” Remus explained.  
“Yes, well, fuck you.” James spoke into his mattress.  
“Did you find anything out?” Sirius asked.  
“Yes, actually,” James said, sitting up.  
“Well?!” Remus exclaimed.  
“When their marks burn, they have to go to the grave of You-Know-Who-“  
“Voldemort.” Sirius interrupted.  
“Sure. When their marks burn, the have to go to the grave of Voldemort’s father.” James finished.  
Remus looked perplexed. “How odd. Never thought Voldemort would be a daddy’s boy.”  
The boys were silent for a minute, and then burst out laughing.  
“Still not worth seeing Macnair naked,” Peter muttered. “Revolting.”  
“Well, Pete, you’ve done well.” Sirius pat him on the back.  
“Solid job, Wormtail.” James glared at Remus. “You too, Prongs.”  
Lily walked in. “What’s this about Macnair naked?! Disgusting!”

——————————————————————————————

Lily was next. Remus followed her under the cloak, as she went to find Snape.  
Once she spotted him, she froze. “It’s okay, I’m right here,” Remus whispered.  
She instantly relaxed, and tapped Snape on the shoulder. He spun around, shocked.  
“Hey, Sev, can I talk to you?”  
He snorted. “Why would you want to talk to me? Don’t you want to talk to Potter?”  
She sighed. “Actually, it’s about him. I need someone who understands what a bastard he is.”  
Remus watched Snape’s eyes light up and tried not to laugh.  
“Yeah, alright. Where do you want to go, Lil?” Remus tried not to vomit.  
“Anywhere, just somewhere quiet,” she suggested, very slightly seductively. Remus swore he saw Snape blush.  
“Alright. Follow me.”

Remus tailed Snape and Lily up to a small corridor near the astronomy tower. “I like to come here, you know, to think,” Snape smiled. Snape smiling was highly disconcerting. Remus must remember to erase the image from his mind.  
“It’s nice here,” Lily cooed. Wow, Remus thought. She’s good at this.  
“So, what’s Potter done now?” Snape said, sounding sour.  
“He’s going on about the war, you know, saying that the dark side will never win. I’m not meant to think this, because I’m muggleborn, but I feel like the dark lord will come out on top,” she sighed. Wow, Remus thought. Good use of ‘the Dark Lord’.  
Snape grinned. “Yeah. That’s exactly what I’m thinking!”  
Lily smiled back. “See! I knew I wasn’t crazy! Potter and his stupid friends really think that they have a chance.” She said sarcastically.  
“I’m glad you’ve realised how idiotic they’re being,” Snape smiled, placing his hand over hers. It took all of Remus’ restraint, and he suspected it took all of Lily’s too, not to gag.  
“It’s not like they can do anything while they’re in school. Don’t know why they’re so bothered,” she said sweetly, tucking her hair behind her ear and pretending to giggle at Snape’s hand over hers. She could be an actress. Remus was genuinely impressed.  
“You know, on the Dark Side, you can start doing things in school,” he whispered.  
“Really?!” Lily looked genuinely excited. “Like what? Can I try?” Holy shit. This was awesome.  
“Well, if I show you something, you can’t tell anyone, okay?”  
Lily nodded sincerely. “Sev, who am I going to tell? You’re more important than everyone.” She squeezed his hand.  
“Okay, look at this.” Snape pulled up his sleeve to show the death eater’s mark.  
“Woah,” Lily genuinely sounded impressed. Quite a feat, Remus thought, when she was undoubtedly more disgusted than she’d ever been. “It’s… gorgeous.” She smiled at him. He beamed back. “When did you get it?”  
“I really shouldn’t tell you…” Snape sighed.  
“Oh. I mean, it’s fine if you don’t want to. I just thought we were… connecting again. It’s fine. I’ll just go.” Lily looked as if she was about to cry and went to stand up, before Snape pulled her back down. Risky move, Evans, thought Remus. Bloody brilliant.  
“Sorry, it’s just, I can’t trust many people you know? But you’re different, I know you are,” he smiled kindly at her. Disgusting, Remus thought. He needed a pensive and a vial. The image had to go.  
“I know Sev. It’s me, though. It’s just me.” She squeezed his hand again.  
“I got it on Christmas Eve. Rosier, Macnair, Avery and Black have one too.”  
“Did he give it to you himself?! You are so lucky,” she sighed dreamily.  
“Yeah, he did. We met at the Malfoy’s and he burned it in with his wand. It was so cool.”  
“Is it like a tattoo? Like, does it do anything?” She asked, eyes wide.  
“Yeah, it does actually. When the Dark Lord wants assistance for an attack or something, he pressed his mark, and ours burn, so we know to meet him.”  
Lily gasped. “That’s so fucking cool Sev.”  
“Yeah, it is.” he smiled.  
“Can I ask something?”  
“Anything, Lil.”  
“Is he… nice?”  
Snape chuckled. “I don’t know if nice is the word. He respects you if you respect him, and if you’re loyal, he’ll reward you. If you’re polite, he’s polite too. He just wants the best for the Wizarding World, and I think he’s strong enough to change it.”  
“I reckon he’ll be able to, you know,” Lily said kindly. “I just hope I don’t get killed in an attack.”  
“Me too. If you stick with us, you’ll be safe. I’ll make sure of it.” He moved closer to her. “The next big attack is exactly a month after graduation, so we have enough time to train.” Snape paused, considering whether he should continue, but Lily moved closer to him, and he immediately kept talking. “It’s going to be that Muggle and magical village in Wales, I can’t remember the name, but get this: It’s next to the Lupin’s farm!”  
Lily laughed. “How’d you manage that?!”  
“Luck, I guess,” He sighed.  
Remus realised he was about to kiss Lily, and thank god she realised it too. “Sev, I have to go, I was meant to be meeting McGonagall about NEWTS, but it was so nice to talk again.” She hugged him tightly.  
“It was nice. Let’s do it again sometime?”  
“Yes. Definitely.” Lily strode off to the common room, Remus on her tail. Once they had climbed through the portrait hole, she sunk to her knees and started to cry.

——————————————————————————

Lily repeated her and Snape’s conversation, Remus picking up the story when she collapsed into tears again.  
“This is so, so much worse than we thought.” Sirius deadpanned. “What do we do?”  
“I have no idea. But I have to talk to Regulus.”  
Sirius whipped his head around. “No, you don’t need do that! We’ve heard everything we need to hear!”  
Remus sighed. “I know. But we decided I’d try and convince him to change sides. I don’t think it will work, but it’s worth a try.”

——————————————————————————

Remus found Sirius sitting in the courtyard outside the main Hogwarts entrance.  
“Reg?”  
Regulus spun his head around. “Hey, Remus.”  
“How are you?”  
Regulus snorted. “You’re not here to see how I am. You’re here because Sirius sent you.”  
Remus sat down next to the young boy. “He actually told me not to come.”  
Regulus raised his eyebrows. “Then why are you here?”  
“Because I still consider you my friend, even if you don’t consider me yours,” Remus explained. “I wanted to know if you were okay.”  
Regulus put his head in his hands. “No. I’m not.”  
“Do you want to tell me what’s going on?” Remus asked gently.  
“I can’t. I’m not allowed.”  
“Alright, well I already know you have the mark, and I know there’s an attack on my hometown. I know you’ve joined them.”  
Regulus looked up, jaw dropped. “How?”  
Remus shook his head. “Doesn’t matter how. Do you want to talk?”  
Regulus nodded. “I miss Sirius. He hates me now.”  
“He doesn’t hate you Reg. He feels guilty that he left you and he thinks that you hate him. He wants his brother back,” Remus said quietly. “I want my friend back too.”  
“I can’t… It’s too late.”  
“Why did you do it?”  
Regulus’ voice shook as he spoke. “My parents aren’t parents, they’re people who live with me and tell me what to do. There’s no connection there. I’ve never had a family. I had Sirius, and he left, so I had no one.”  
“You had friends here, though,” Remus pointed out.  
“Yeah, I did. They’ve all joined too. There wasn’t another option for me, Remus. I’m fifteen. I need to be part of something. And no-one would have me except him.”  
Remus grabbed Regulus’ hand. “So many people would’ve had you. Still would have you!”  
A tear fell down Regulus’ face. “I can’t leave. There is no leaving. The only way out is if you die.”  
“Surely-“  
“Trust me, Remus, I did all the research. I asked every question, and I still had to do it.”  
“Reg, you’re going to kill so many people…” Remus shook his head. “This isn’t you.”  
“I know! Don’t you think I’ve thought about that?!” Regulus took a deep breath. “I was so, so lonely.”  
“Sirius was lonely, too.”  
“Aren’t you two living together after you graduate?!” Remus nodded. “You see my point? He’s always had you guys. You guys are good. I just come from bad.”  
“You came from the same house that Sirius did, you know.”  
“And I wasn’t strong enough to fight it.” They sat in silence for a while.   
“Were you going to tell me they are- you are- destroying my village?” Remus asked, trying to keep a steady voice.  
“Yeah. I was planning to tell you at graduation. So Sirius couldn’t yell at me about it.”“Yeah. That’s fair enough… Do you want to do this?”  
Regulus wiped his eyes. “I don’t. I never did. But I have to. And even if I wanted to leave, to be alone, it’s too late.”  
“It’s never too-“  
Regulus cut Remus off. “You don’t know him, Remus. The only way that I get away from him is by dying.”  
Remus put his arm around Regulus and they sat there, for a long time.  
“Are you going to, like, marry Siri? And have kids and stuff?”  
Remus chuckled. “Yeah, that’s the plan.”  
Regulus gave a rare smile. “I’m happy for you, Remus. You’re good, inherently good.”  
“Hey Reg?” Regulus nodded. “Your life is full of dark right now. But you’re good, too.” Remus saw Regulus go to argue, so he pulled him into a hug. “If they see you talking to me they’ll yell at you, right?” Remus asked. Regulus nodded, ashamed. “Alright. I’ll go in first.”  
Remus stood up and turned around. “Wait!” He spun around to face Regulus. “Thank you, Remus.”  
“Any time, Reg.”

————————————————————————

Remus returned to the dorm and was faced with four anxious faces. “We talked.” Remus said, sitting on the edge of his bed.  
“And?” Whispered Sirius.  
“It’s over. He’s gone.”  
Sirius crawled into Remus’ lap, and cried until he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was SO SAD TO WRITE.   
> Comment, let me know what you thought!
> 
> xx Gabby


	8. NEWTS - Sirius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NEWTS, sly pranks, a letter from Dumbledore, and they finally acknowledge Remus' name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just HAD to talk about Remus' name at some point. I couldn't ignore it any longer.   
> I had such a good time writing about what the Marauders did during NEWTS. Those highlights were my favourite part of the chapter... as well as everyone listing the times Sirius has woken them up.
> 
> My favourite so far!
> 
> Next Up: The Order

Sirius was annoyed. Before this whole war thing, he had had a plan. When he thought about it, they all did. Sirius and James wanted to be Aurors, Remus wanted to study further or write (even though he was sure he would never be able to) and Peter wanted to… actually, that part wasn’t clear. Sirius suspected that Peter had always done what his friends did, but Peter wasn’t determined enough to become an Auror, and wasn’t smart enough to keep studying. He made a mental note to ask Wormtail what his plan is.  
Or, more like, what his plan was. It was a shitty reality that by the time Auror training would start, the war would be raging. Magical colleges would close down, too.

Dumbledore had told Mr and Mrs Potter about something called ‘The Order of The Phoenix’. It was a group, fighting for the resistance, that Dumbledore was assembling himself. Anyone could help, of course, but he was selecting a few to fight, really fight. Sirius hoped he could be part of it.

That’s for another time, Remus would tell Sirius. NEWTS are next week, he would remind him.  
“Moony, NEWTS aren’t useful in the slightest in this world right now. Do you think that a death eater is going to care about your mark on your Potions NEWT before they kill you? Do you think they’ll be like ‘Lupin, is it?’ and check their big book, and say ‘Wow! You did very well on your charms NEWT! Maybe we won’t kill you!’” Sirius blurted out. He felt guilty immediately.  
Remus’ face had fallen. “Sure, Sirius. It may not be important to you, because you’ll fight. I’m a werewolf. Without good marks, I have literally nothing going for me,” Remus frowned.  
“You’ll fight too, Moony,” Sirius said softly.  
“No one will trust me. A dark creature, fighting for the good guys? It’s laughable.” Remus said, looking solemn.  
“No one would know if you didn’t tell them, and I don’t think that there is one of our friends who wouldn’t accept it if they knew. I wouldn’t be surprised if they knew already, honestly,” Sirius sad, shrugging.  
Remus sighed. “Guess so. C’mon, we need to study.”  
Sirius undid his belt on the way up to the dorm. Remus turned around, hearing the clink. He rolled his eyes. “Sirius, that is not studying!”  
“No Moony, it’s not, but it IS definite motivation,” Sirius smirked.  
Sirius watched Remus mentally fight his body, trying to force himself to study, but Sirius was shedding his clothes, and he knew that body would win. “Get on the bed,” Remus growled. “Now.”

———————————————————————-

“Now that,” Sirius panted. “Is motivation.”  
Remus chuckled. “Okay, we actually have to study now!”  
Sirius tried to pull him back into bed, and Remus shot Sirius a warning glance. “We’ll do this all over again when the other two are asleep-“ Sirius beamed, “-IF you study, right now.”  
“Blackmail! This is blackmail!” Sirius shouted, pulling himself out of bed.  
Remus smiled and wrapped his arms around Sirius. “Yeah, baby, it is. And it works every time.”

Sirius and Remus sat on the floor of the common room, parchment splayed around them, their heads buried in textbooks. Sirius looked up to see Lily and James enter through the portrait hole, arm in arm, smiling. “Ugh!” Sirius exclaimed, throwing his arms up in the air. “NEWTS are next week! How are you two so happy?!”  
Before they could respond, Remus, still looking at his book, said “Sirius, we literally JUST had sex. Stop complaining. Read.”  
Lily laughed as Sirius did as he was told. “Whipped!” James laughed, harshly.  
Remus glared at him. “Oi. Be nice to my boyfriend.” Sirius beamed, feeling warm inside. Remus always knew when certain comments upset Sirius.  
Sirius watched James retract and silence himself. When Remus pointed out not to say something, James knew he definitely shouldn’t say it. Lily slapped him up the back to the head. “Dummy,” she said affectionately.  
Remus and Sirius laughed. “C-can we have the dorm?” James asked nervously.  
Sirius considered this. He decided that the more studying, the better the sex later. “Yeah, sure, just be done by dinner. We’re tired.” Sirius said, as convincingly as possible.  
“Yeah, sure.” Lily nodded and James followed her upstairs.

————————————————————————

A week later, the first day of NEWTS had arrived. James was having a panic attack, Lily was stress studying whilst eating, Peter was shaking silently and Remus was making that calm face of his that he makes when he’s really freaked out. Sirius was oddly nervous, and was silently revising while he ate his breakfast.

The seventh years flooded out of the hall after the Defence Against the Dark Arts exam. Considering some of them were now professionals when it came to Dark Arts, Sirius felt he was at a slight disadvantage. He did, however, take advantage of being seated next to ‘Black, Narcissa’ by muttering incorrect answers all the way through the exam, hiding his smiles when she copied them down. He saw Remus and gave him a massive hug. “Hey, Moony!”  
“Hey baby, how’d you do?” Remus smiled down at him, his arms still around Sirius’ waist.  
“I did good, I think. I fucked with Narcissa-“ Remus rolled his eyes, “I whispered the wrong answers and she copied them all down!”  
Remus, instead of disciplining Sirius like he expected, smiled. “I’m impressed. Mine was better, though,” he said smugly, leading Sirius into the courtyard.“What do you mean?” Sirius cocked his head, sitting on a bench.  
“About half an hour before the exam, when we were all lined up, I slipped a flobberworm down Macnair’s robes,” Remus smirked.  
Ah, Lupin, Macnair… brilliant, Sirius thought. “Wait… he would’ve been able to get rid of one…” Sirius frowned.  
“Ah Pads, I thought the same thing. I actually slipped one in his hair, and another under his waistband.”  
“Remus! You’re evil!”   
“Of course, that isn’t counting the two I had Lily put in his shoes when she ‘slipped’ over,” Remus snorted.   
“So THAT’S why he yelled ‘motherfucker’ in the middle of the exam!” Sirius gasped.  
“I remember you told me a while ago that if they don’t see the light for long, they may not have teeth, but they can suck on your skin until it’s itchy for days.”   
Wait… that was in third year… “Moony, how do you remember that?”  
Remus laughed quietly, blushing slightly. “I was in love with you, Pads. I listened to everything you said. Still do, actually.”  
Sirius nuzzled his face into Remus’ neck. “I listen to everything you say, too.”  
Remus tilted Sirius face so that their foreheads were leaning together. “My beautiful boy,” Remus sighed, kissing Sirius slowly.  
Sirius’ stomach exploded, fluttering intensely as he kissed back. “I love you.” They kissed again.  
Sirius pulled back, nervously. “Hey, love?”  
“Yeah, baby? You okay?” Remus looked concerned.  
“Yeah, I… I can’t wait to live with you.”  
Remus wrapped him in his arms. “I can’t wait to live with you either.”  
They linked arms and wandered back to the common room.

————————————————————————-

The rest of the week went quite smoothly, some highlights being:  
Remus slipping a strand of the wolfsbane flower into Macnair’s potion, causing it to explode all over him, resulting him growing hair over every inch of his body that the potion touched (ah, Sirius thought, irony is a beautiful thing.);  
James mastering a particular piece of wandless magic, charming Avery’s quill to leak over the entirety of his Transfiguration essay as he passed the boy on the way up to the examiner to hand in his paper;  
Peter flicking barely noticeable charms at Rosier during his transfiguration practical, making the death-eating bastard’s spells backfire on himself (Sirius was particularly amused at Professor McGonagall’s reaction. She looked stern, and told Rosier that she was incredibly disappointed, before sneaking behind the divider and cackling as Sirius watched from under the cloak. To be fair, Rosier now had lengthened front teeth, yellow eyebrows and what appeared to be cat ears. It was bloody hilarious.);  
And Sirius’ favourite: Lily (after many objections) giving Snape a ‘good luck’ hug before his Charms exam, secretly sprinkling miniature dungbongs (an invention of James’) all through his hair. They exploded silently in the middle of the exam. Everyone in the hall stared at him with pure disgust. Genius, Sirius thought. Genuis.

The boys, and Lily, sat in their dorm the night after the final exam. Sirius asked, “Lily, do you think what we did is cruel?”  
She considered for a moment. “No. I don’t. As soon as school finishes they’re planning to kill as many muggleborns as possible in a bid for a total takeover of the Wizarding World. Yellow eyebrows are the least that they deserve.”  
Everyone nodded. “Well put, my lady,” James held her close. Sensing her fear, he added “We’re going to be just fine, you know. I’ll make sure you’re just fine.”

Later, when Peter had gone to sleep, and James’ and Lily were doing god knows what behind closed curtains and a silencing charm, Remus opened his mouth. “Sirius?”  
“Yeah, Rem?” Sirius furrowed his brows. Remus sounded serious.  
“I’ll make sure you’re just fine, too, you know. I’ll never let anything bad happen to you.”  
Sirius smiled, stretching an arm over Remus’ chest and holding him close. “I know you won’t. We’re untouchable when we’re together.”  
Remus hummed happily. “Yeah, baby, we sure are.”

—————————————————————————

Sirius was woken up by a knock on the door. Rubbing his eyes, he stumbled across the room and opened it, seeing no one. Thinking that no one was there, Sirius went to close the door, but after looking down he saw a small first year holding a scroll. “Sirius?” He asked meekly.  
Sirius crouched down and smiled. “Yeah, that’s me. What’s your name?”  
The boy, probably not expecting to be spoken to, blushed slightly, answering “Leo. My names Leo.”  
Sirius beamed. “Leo! That’s a constellation. My name, Sirius, is a star!”  
Leo grinned. “That’s really cool! I’ve never met anyone with a… space name, before.”  
“Hmm, space name… I like it,” Sirius agreed. “What’s the scroll, Leo?”  
“Oh, yes.” Leo nodded, composing himself. “This is from Professor Dumbledore.” He offered the scroll to Sirius.  
Sirius reached out and took it from the small hand. “Thanks, Leo. If you ever want to hear about some more space names, come find me, yeah?”  
Leo swayed nervously, clearly very flattered. “R-really?” Sirius nodded kindly. “Okay. Thanks, Sirius!”

A while ago, Sirius himself would have been confused by that interaction. Maybe it was the war, maybe it was Remus, maybe it was not having a family of his own anymore… Whatever the reason, Sirius had found that he really liked kids. He had started speaking to kids the way he always wished that he would be spoken to as a child. It made them really happy. Sirius knew that these kids would be growing up in the middle of a war. They deserved to be happy.

Smiling at himself, Sirius sat and actually read the scroll. It was addressed to ‘Miss Evans, Mr Pettigrew, Mr Potter, Mr Lupin, and Sirius’. Sirius smiled at the fact that even all this time later, the teachers refused to use his last name. He couldn’t open it himself, and he definitely couldn’t wait, so he shook Remus awake. “Remus! Moony! Wake up,” Sirius whispered.  
Remus sat up, yawning. “This better be important,” he grumbled.   
“Trust me, it is. Wake Peter, would you? I’ll take the lovers.”  
Sirius watched Remus stretch (so. fucking. hot. That’s all Sirius could think.) as he walked over to Peter. Sirius opened James’ curtain, very slightly, and squeezed his eyes shut. “Oi! You two! Are you decent?” He whispered. Sirius heard some swearing, most of which was directed at himself.  
Finally, the buzz of the silencing charm disappeared and Lily spoke. “Yes, Sirius, we’re decent. But maybe it’s too bright to open the cur-“  
Sirius flung open the curtains of James’ bed rather than letting Lily finish, partly because he was impatient, and partly because seeing James squint was far too amusing an opportunity to pass up.  
“ARGH!” The two yelled, shielding their eyes. “This better be important!” Added James.  
Sirius sighed. “Why do you guys think I’d wake you if it wasn’t important?!”  
“Lets see, that one time you wanted to run as Padfoot and needed someone to throw sticks-“ Remus answered.  
“Or that time you had a dream about cake and suddenly ‘needed’ it, so you woke me to come with you-“ Peter added.  
“Or when you pulled me out of bed to go watch the Ravenclaw Quidditch practise in an attempt to find out if you were gay-“ James commented.  
“Or when you levitated yourself up the girl’s stairs, and came in to wake me just so you could tell me that you’d managed to get up the stairs-“ Lily smirked.  
“Or-“  
“IT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION!” Sirius yelled. “IT’S IMPORTANT, OKAY?!”Remus laughed and pulled Sirius in. “Okay, it’s important. Now what actually is it?”  
Sirius sat on his bed and gestured for them all to gather around. “Who’s that from?” Asked a yawning Peter.  
“Dumbledore.” They all stared at Sirius, open mouthed and wide eyed.   
“What is it?!” They gasped at the same time.  
“Oh so nooowwwww it’s important is it?” Sirius drawled sarcastically. No one was amused. “Fine. I was waiting to open it until you woke up. I don’t know what it is.”  
“Who’s it for?” Asked Lily, intrigued.   
“All of us.” Answered Sirius.  
“What, even me?” She laughed.  
Remus, who was looking over Sirius’ shoulder at the scroll, responded. “Huh. Yeah, it actually is.”  
“Bloody Dumbledore. Knows everything,” James mumbled, probably extremely embarrassed that their Headmaster knew Lily was sleeping in his bed.  
“Open it, love,” Remus gently encouraged Sirius.  
Nodding, Sirius unrolled the parchment. Skimming it quickly, he gasped. “Holy fucking shit.”  
“What is it?!” They all cried in unison.  
“Read it,” suggested Remus.

“Dear Mr Potter, Miss Evans, Mr Lupin, Sirius and Mr Pettigrew,  
I have a proposition I think you may be interested in. It involves the war that you are no doubt aware of.If you are even slightly interested, please arrive at my office at 2pm sharp.The password is liquorice wand.  
Sincerely,   
Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore”

They all looked at each other in shock. Then Lily shook her head and smiled to herself. “What is it, Lily?” James asked, looking concerned.  
She giggled. “Oh, nothing, just… Dumbledore’s parents must have really hated him.”  
Remus chuckled at that. Everyone else looked between the two, incredibly confused. “Uh, Lily, why did Dumbledore’s parents hate him?” Peter asked nervously.  
Lily and Remus both smiled and sighed. “The name, Peter. They gave him five incredibly complicated names.” Lily explained.  
James, Sirius and Peter still looked completely lost. “Alright, imagine a five year old with the name Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.” Remus smirked.  
Slowly, the other three’s confusion turned to shock. Peter gasped “Oh! Poor child Dumbledore!”  
James nodded solemnly. “The Dumbledore Seniors were cruel, cruel people.”  
Sirius looked down and laughed quietly. “The poor kid was probably bullied! What is funny about this, Padfoot?!” Peter exclaimed.  
“Oh, I don’t know, it could be worse, right?” Sirius sniggered, staring at Remus.  
“Oh, god,” Remus groaned and put his head in his hands.  
“What?” Lily asked.  
“I’m just saying, that may be a long name, but at least Dumbledore isn’t a werewolf whose name is basically werewolf mcwerewolf,” Sirius smirked.  
James, Lily and Peter spun around and looked at Remus.  
“Oh my god.”  
“Remus… LUPIN…”  
“WAIT!” Lily interrupted the other two abruptly. They all stared at her, eyebrows raised, asking for her to continue. “Remus, dear?”  
Remus peeked up from behind his hands. “Lily?” He whispered nervously.  
“Do you have a wolf patronus?”  
Remus sighed. “Yeah. Obviously. And?”  
“So you’re telling us that you’re a werewolf whose name means werewolf mcwerewolf and you have a WOLF PATRONUS?!”  
Immediately, they all laughed so hard that they cried.

After Sirius saw Remus looking a bit fed up from the laughing, he yelled “ANYWAY!” Everyone went silent. “We actually have to figure this out.”  
“Are we going?” Asked Peter.  
They all stared at him. “Of course we’re going!” Announced Lily. She looked back at the others. “Right?”  
“Of course.” James smiled, grabbing her hand.  
“Obviously.” Deadpanned Sirius.  
“Definitely.” Decided Remus. “We are.” Sirius looked at the shortest boy, who still looked nervous. “Are you, Pete?”  
Sirius knew the smile Peter flashed wasn’t genuine. “Yeah, of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey loves,  
> I hope you're all doing well! The next chapter will be them being inducted into the order, so get ready for that. This was a bit of much needed fluff after the chat with Regulus, and to prepare us for the upcoming chapters!
> 
> A couple more people will get a scroll too... 
> 
> Enjoy, let me know what you thought!  
> \- Gabs


	9. The Order - Remus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Order is revealed, Remus is asked a favour, and they're all bloody living together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter FULL of dialogue, god, that was a pain.  
> I love James and Lily arguing at the end. Hilarious.

√At one-thirty, the five of them left the common room and made their way up to Dumbledore’s office. Remus was oddly nervous. Why would Dumbledore want a werewolf to fight? He shook his head, pushing away the thought, and flung his arm around Sirius’ shoulder. His boyfriend smiled up at him and wrapped his arm around Remus’ waist.

Reaching Dumbledore’s office, Lily cocked her head. “Huh.”  
“What is it?” James asked.  
“I don’t know, I’ve just never been here. I didn’t expect a massive gargoyle guarding the place.”  
“What did you expect?” Asked Peter.  
She shrugged her shoulders. “No clue. How do we get in?”  
Remus furrowed his brows. “Liquorice wand.”  
They all jumped as the gargoyle nodded and moved, revealing a spiral staircase. They all tentatively stepped on, and jumped again as it started to move. “Weird,” Sirius whispered.  
“Very weird,” James agreed.  
They were faced with a large room, full of odd devices that none of them had ever seen before. There was a bowl of sweets that Peter gravitated towards. He picked one up., and yelped. “Ow!”  
“Pete? Did you break something?” Lily sounded concerned.  
“Why do you always assume I broke something?” Peter sighed, frustrated. Remus was staring at the large door, which undoubtedly led to Dumbledore’s office. Suddenly, it swung open, revealing their headmaster in lilac robes, smiling at them.  
“Well! You found it alright, I assume? Come in, come in,” he gestured for them to follow him inside.  
“Woah,” Sirius whispered into Remus’ ear.  
“Yes, that is the general reaction,” Dumbledore chuckled.  
“Does he hear everything?!” Sirius whispered into Remus’ ear, even quieter than before.  
“Yes, I do actually,” Dumbledore looked at Sirius, his eyes twinkling.  
“Sorry, Professor,” Sirius blushed.  
“Come on, take a seat.” Dumbledore waved his wand and five squishy armchairs appeared in front of his desk. “Now, before we get down to business, I would like to personally thank Sirius and Remus, and James and Lily.”  
Lily raised her hand. “Um, Professor, for what?”  
Dumbledore laughed. “You don’t need to raise your hand, Miss Evans. We’re equals in here.” Lily blushed and nodded. “You two couples have made me a very rich man.”  
Sirius and Remus chuckled. McGonagall must have made a bet on James and Lily like she did on Remus and Sirius. Lily and James stared at the couple, confused.  
“Ah, well, Sirius and Remus know that Professor McGonagall and I made a bet on whether the two would get together-“  
“Professor!” Lily gasped.  
“Yes, yes, I know, highly inappropriate… I did receive twenty five galleons though, so I don’t feel too guilty.” He chuckled. “The bet we placed on you two was more… extensive.”  
“Extensive?” Asked James.  
“Well, the bet began the same as it did for Remus and Sirius, five galleons for every year you weren’t together, paid for by me, cashable at graduation, and five galleons from Professor McGonagall for every year that you weren’t, cashable to me when you finally did get together.” Lily’s jaw dropped. “When Professor Flitwick heard of this bet, he joined Professor McGonagall in betting you would never get together, and Professor Slughorn bet against me as well… So, when you finally did become paramores, I received ninety galleons. So, I do thank you for that.”  
James burst out laughing. The rest of them tried to hide their smiles.  
“Anyway, down to business. I’m sure that you are all aware that graduation is soon, yes?” They all nodded. “And unfortunately, I’m also sure you are aware of the war that is brewing in our world…” Dumbledore frowned. “Could I ask, what were your plans after graduation, before this turmoil began?”  
“James and I wanted to be Aurors,” Sirius said sadly.  
“I wanted to study potions, and become a healer,” Lily frowned.  
“I wanted to study, and perhaps write educational papers on Defence Against the Dark Arts,” Remus sighed. “I wouldn’t be able to, but that’s what I wanted.”  
They all looked at Peter, eyebrows raised. “I… I’m not sure what I wanted to do. I was going to see my NEWT results and do what I was best at.”  
Dumbledore nodded. “All wise choices, and I’m sure you would be very capable of them.” Remus frowned. “Yes, even you Mr Lupin.” Remus blushed.  
“What I am telling you about is highly classified, and I would appreciate if you did not share this information with anyone…” Dumbledore looked at a piece of parchment on his desk. “Except perhaps Miss McKinnon, Miss Meadowes, Miss Fortescue and Mr Longbottom.”  
They all nodded. “Of course, Professor.” Remus answered for all of them.  
“I am not asking anything of you until you have heard my proposition, understood?” They all murmured variations of ‘yes’. “Alright then. I have founded an organisation that I have fondly named ‘The Order of The Phoenix’.” Dumbledore gestured to Fawkes, his phoenix, perched on a log. “This organisation will be a large part of the resistance against Voldemort.” James flinched. “Voldemort is his name, I suggest you all get used to it.”  
“Voldemort.” James repeated. Dumbledore smiled at him.  
“A few alumni from Hogwarts have already joined. You may recognise Kingsley Shacklebolt, the Prewett brothers, along with some Hogwarts staff, such as Miverna-“ They all gasped. “Yes, Professor McGonagall does have a first name, Rubeus, and trained Aurors like Alastor Moody.” Remus saw Sirius’ eyes widen. Mad-eye Moody was his idol.  
Lily raised her hand, before immediately pulling it down. “What exactly would we be doing?”  
Dumbledore sighed. “I will be honest with you, although I wish I didn’t have to be. You would all be putting yourselves in great danger. You could be duelling Voldemort’s closest followers, spying on members of the Dark Side, raiding certain bases that the Death-Eaters are using…” Dumbledore shook his head. “I wish I didn’t have to tell you these things, I really do. You are young, and you should be adventuring, and building lives for yourselves, not being enlisted to fight in a horrible war.”  
Remus glanced around at the others. James and Lily were gripping each others hands, Sirius looked determined and Peter was shaking. “Sir, what exactly are you asking of us?”  
Dumbledore nodded. “I guess I should get to that. I’m asking if you would like to join the resistance. Join The Order.”  
“I’ll do it.” Remus blurted out. “On one condition.”  
The others stared at him and Dumbledore nodded. “Okay. What is it?”  
“The death eaters are planning an attack, on my village and the homes around it. I would like a safe place to take my parents, and some people to fight back when the attack comes.”  
Dumbledore agreed instantly. “Of course, Mr Lupin-“ He corrected himself, “Remus. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”  
Remus watched as James and Lily nodded at each other. “We’ll join.” She stated. “We’ll do it. Just keep Mr and Mrs Potter safe, please.”   
Dumbledore nodded again. “Of course. I can organise that as soon as possible.”  
“Yeah, I’ll do it too.” Said Peter, sounding reasonable confident.“Thank you Mr Pettigrew. You are incredibly brave.” Peter smiled.  
Everyone turned to Sirius. The room was silent for a moment. “I’ll join. Just one thing,” Sirius sighed.  
“Of course, Sirius. Anything.”  
“I am NOT fighting Reg.”  
Dumbledore smiled. “I wouldn’t dream of asking you to.”  
Sirius’ eyes were watering and he got up and squished next to Remus in his armchair. “What do we have to do?” Sirius asked boldly.  
“Miverna and I have decided to begin training after graduation. It’s only fair.”  
“Yeah, okay.” They muttered.  
“Thank you for coming to see me, and thank you, thank you, thank you for offering to fight.” Dumbledore smiled.  
“Of course.” James said, standing up. “We’ll see you soon.”   
They all stood up to leave, before Dumbledore called “Remus?”  
Remus whipped around. “Yes Professor?”  
“Could I have a word?” Sirius went to follow Remus inside. “…Privately?”  
Sirius looked at Remus, as if asking if he was okay, and Remus nodded. “It’s okay Pads, just wait outside for me, yeah?”  
“’Course. Love you,” Sirius smiled and pecked Remus on the cheek.  
Remus went to sit on one of the squishy armchairs. “Is everything okay, Professor?”  
Dumbledore sighed and put his head in his hands. “No. No, it’s not.” He lifted his head, suddenly showing his age. The twinkle in his eye was gone. He just looked sad.  
“What is it, Sir?”  
“Remus, I just want you to know that I am so sorry for asking you this. You can say no and I wouldn’t judge you in the slightest.”  
Remus frowned. “What is it?”  
“Voldemort is enlisting werewolves to join his side-“  
“And you want me to go and convince them to join ours.” Remus finished. What else did he expect?  
Dumbledore sighed. “Yes. That’s the general idea.”  
Remus considered for a moment. This would be the Order’s one chance to infiltrate the werewolf community, and no one could do it but him. This could be the only chance that he will ever have to make his lycanthropy useful. He pushed Sirius out of his mind. “I’ll do it.”  
“Remus, if you want to take some time to think-“  
“Professor, with all due respect, that’s my decision. I’ll do it. Just tell me where to go.”  
Dumbledore sighed again. “It wouldn’t be for about six months. That’s when we think Voldemort will try and enlist them.”  
Remus nodded, keeping his voice steady. “Alright. Can I go now?”  
Dumbledore gave a weak smile. “Yes, Remus. Of course. Thank you.”  
Remus stood up and stalked out the door.

——————————————————————————

“HE WHAT?!” James yelled. “ABSOLUTELY NOT!”  
Remus sighed. “James, it’s not your decision.”  
“Remus, you’re not really considering this are you?” Lily said intensely.  
“No, I’m not. I’ve considered it. I’m doing it.”  
“You CANNOT be serious!” Peter exclaimed.  
“No, he’s Sirius,” Remus pointed at his boyfriend, smiling at the old joke.  
“You’re crazy. Lily and I are going to talk. Peter, you coming?” Peter nodded and followed James and Lily out of the room.  
“R-remus?” Sirius whispered. “Please don’t go.”  
“I have to. No one else can do it! I’m the only one who they might trust.”  
Sirius shook his head. “They won’t trust you! They don’t trust anyone from wizarding society! They’ve been shunned!”  
Remus sighed. “I’ve made my decision.”  
“Isn’t it our decision? I thought we were, like, properly together,” Sirius whimpered.  
Oh, fuck. “We are, baby, but think about it: What if this saves us? What if me doing this helps with the war?”  
Sirius hid his face in a pillow. “What if it doesn’t? What if you get hurt?! What if you… die?”  
“I’m going to be fine, love, okay? It’s just a few full moons,” Remus hugged Sirius.  
“Moony needs Padfoot, though,” Sirius whimpered. Remus knew that was Sirius’ way of saying that Remus needed Sirius.  
“Yeah, Moony really needs Padfoot, and he’s going to come home and be with him again, alright?” Remus said, rubbing soothing circles into Sirius’ back.  
Sirius looked up, tears in his eyes. “Leave me alone for a bit. Please.”  
Remus, on the brink of tears himself, knew it was best not to protest. “You sure?”  
“Yeah. Just go.”  
Remus picked up his cigarettes and headed for the shack.

—————————————————————————

Remus had been in the shack for hours, and wanted to get back to the comfort of the dorm.  
He entered the common room to find it mostly deserted. He headed up the stairs to the dorm, finding Sirius lying in Remus’ bed, his face buried in his pillow.“You ready to talk now?” Remus asked softly.  
Sirius lifted up his head. His face was puffy from crying and he nodded. “I can’t lose you.” He whispered.  
“Oh, baby,” Remus sighed, climbing in next to Sirius. “You’ll never lose me.”  
“Moony?”  
“Yeah?”  
“I’m really, really scared.”  
Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius and kissed him deeply. “Pads, so am I.”  
They drifted into a deep sleep, feeling safe with the one that they loved.

—————————————————————————

They didn’t speak about Remus and the werewolves for the next week. Sirius and Remus had just had what, in Remus’ opinion, was really good fucking sex, and were lying naked when James and Lily walked in.  
“WOULD YOU JUST LOCK THE FUCKING DOOR!” Lily yelled.  
“IT ISN’T THAT HARD!” James shouted. He picked up his wand and flicked the sheet over the boys. “Well, at least you’re somewhat decent now.” Lily shook her head.  
“Have you come in here just to yell at us, or is there something you’d like to say?” Remus said sarcastically.  
“Yelling at you is fun. But yes, there is something we’d like to say.” Lily smiled. “We’re-“  
“We’re moving in together!” James shouted, clapping his hands excitedly. “Lily, I thought you were going to say it?”  
“Ugh! I was! You interrupted me!” She complained.  
“Oh. Well. You must have been taking too long.”  
Sirius and Remus looked at each other. “Where are you living?”  
Lily beamed. “That’s the best part! We’re-“  
“We’re living next to you!”  
“JAMES!”  
“What?”  
“STOP INTERRUPTING ME!”  
“FINE!”  
Remus and Sirius sniggered. These two living together was going to be hilarious.  
“ANYWAY, if James would stop ruining my announcements-“ she glared at him “we have decided something else.”  
“Yeah?” Sirius asked.  
They sat down. “Oh, it’s serious.”  
James nodded his head. “Yeah, it kind of is.”  
“We’re decided something.” Remus and Sirius raised their eyebrows, hoping she would continue. “There’s a war. But we’re also seventeen, well, Peter’s not, but you get the point. We’re seventeen, and we deserve to live, and hang out together, and have fun, right?”  
Remus nodded. “Yes, we do. But with The Order-“  
Lily cut him off. “We know. The Order. But we’re going to hang out together, all of us, and Marly and Dorcas and Alice and Frank, we’re going to live while we still can.”  
Sirius smiled. “I like that idea. What made you think of it?”  
James spoke. “Not all of us are going to make it,-“  
“Don’t be stupid-“  
“Sirius. Not all of us are going to make it. The likelihood of at least one of us dying is incredibly high. We’ll be risking our lives, all the time… Some of us won’t last.”  
Sirius and Remus looked at each other. “I guess you’re right.” Sirius mumbled.  
Marlene and Dorcas burst into the room. “GUYS!”  
“WHAT?!” Lily cried, mimicking their yelling.   
“WE GOT IT!”  
“NO FUCKING WAY!” James shouted. “YES!”  
Remus awkwardly put his hand up. “Um, hate to interrupt, but got what?”  
Dorcas clapped. “The apartment! In your building! Level below yours!”  
Remus laughed. “What is this, a book about ‘three best friends, living happily ever after’?”  
“Well, maybe not the happily ever after, considering at least on of us will die, but-“  
“Marlene, that is SO morbid.” Dorcas sighed.  
“Point being, this is pretty fucking cool.”  
“Yeah,” Sirius said, putting his arm around Remus’ waist. “Yeah, it is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I'm killing Dorcas and Marlene. I'm a bitch, but I'm not HEARTLESS.
> 
> Aaaaanyways, graduation is up next!!!


	10. Graduation - Sirius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang graduate, Sirius gets punched and they all love motorbikes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved this :')

Sirius stood, looking at his bed in the dorm. This was the last time he would ever stand in this room. He almost shed a tear.  
This was home to him, when his real home was scary. This was where he met the Marauders. This was where he met his family. This was where he met the person who would one day be his husband, and this was where he learnt who he was. This was Hogwarts, this was home.  
Remus entered the dorm behind him and hugged him from behind. “You okay?”  
Sirius sighed. “I’ll miss it. I’ll really miss it.”   
Remus kissed him on the top of the head. “I know, baby. I will too.”  
They stood there for a while, taking everything in. Sirius checked his watch, the one he got from the Potters, and turned to Remus.  
“C’mon love, it’s time to graduate.”

—————————————————————————

After walking across the hall and shaking Dumbledore’s hand, Sirius was standing with James and the Potters, talking to Hope and Euphemia while Lyall conversed with Fleamont. Remus and James were laughing about something, and they waved Peter over.  
“Thank god!” Sirius heard Peter exclaim. “My great aunt wouldn’t stop kissing me!” Remus laughed at him. Sirius would never tire of Remus’ laugh.

Peter would be living with his mother, while Alice and Frank had an apartment close to Sirius’. Peter’s mother lived in London, too, so they were all getting the train back. One final journey. Saying goodbye to Hope and Lyall, Sirius went to farewell the Potters. He thanked them profusely and promised to visit soon. Grabbing Remus’ hand, they climbed into a carriage that he knew was pulled by Thestrals. He hated that this would be the last time they would be invisible to him. He knew he would see death.  
Lily, James and Peter climbed in behind him, and the carriage set off towards the train. Marlene and Dorcas were in a carriage with Alice and Frank behind them, and soon they all boarded the train. They managed to snag a double compartment, which was easy, Lily and James being Head Boy and Girl, and the train set off. This would be Sirius’ last journey on the Hogwarts Express.

He got up to go to the bathroom, around about the time that the train entered England. There was someone in there, so Sirius waited in the corridor. He heard a tap running, and moved out of the way so that the door could open. When he did, Sirius was faced with Regulus.  
Sirius couldn’t help but smile. “Hey, Reg.”  
Regulus looked shocked. “You’re talking to me.”  
Sirius cocked his head. “Yeah, I’m your brother.”  
“I thought you didn’t want me anymore.” Regulus looked down.  
“Don’t be stupid Reg. I’ll always want you,” Sirius sighed, reaching out to place his hand on Regulus’ arm.  
“I thought - because you found out I’m - well, you know,” Regulus frowned.  
“I’m not angry at you. I’m angry at the world, and I’m angry at myself because you felt that lonely…” Sirius shook his head. “But I’m definitely not angry at you.”  
“You can’t convince me to leave them, you know,” Regulus muttered.  
Sirius leant back against the wall and sighed. “Yeah. I know I can’t. I’m not trying to.” They were silent for a moment. “Reg, are you going back to school after summer?”  
Regulus shook his head. “They need me, I can’t.”  
“Do mother and father know?” Sirius asked, restraining his anger.  
“Yes. They’re the ones who told me to go, actually.”  
“Bloody bastards.” Reg was silent. “God, tell me you don’t like them now, do you?”  
Regulus chuckled. “Yeah, no. Satan and his Mistress are still evil. Grimmauld Place is still the fifth circle of hell.”  
“And Kreacher’s a-“ Sirius stopped himself. Regulus liked Kreacher. “Sorry.”  
Regulus waved him off. “You’re living on London now, right?”  
“Yeah. Please don’t tell your deathy friends where, if that’s okay.”  
“God, Siri, of course not. I’ll promise you one thing, alright?” Sirius nodded. “I’ll never sell out you or Remus or James or Lily. Never.”  
“Peter?” Sirius asked.  
“Don’t like him. I’d sell him out in for free.” Sirius tried so hard to keep a straight face, but the two boys eventually burst out laughing.  
“I told Dumbledore I’d never fight you.” Sirius wasn’t sure why he was telling his brother that, but it felt right.  
Regulus smiled. “I can’t tell them I’d never fight you, or they’d, y’know, kill me, but I would if I could.”  
Sirius laughed. “I appreciate the sentiment.” They smiled at each other. “I’m probably not going to see you again, am I?”  
Regulus gave a sad smile. “Probably not. Maybe you’ll see me under one of the masks. After all, we have the same eyes.”  
Sirius tried not to get emotional. “Where do they get those from anyway?”  
“Beats me. Probably the costume section in John Lewis. I didn’t ask. They came with the welcome pack.”  
Sirius cackled, and them smiled at Regulus, pulling him in for a hug. “I’ll miss you so much Reg.”  
Regulus hugged Sirius back even tighter. “I’ll really miss you too, Siri.”  
They pulled back and stood looking at each other. Then, they heard a loud “BLACK!” coming from the Slytherin end of the train.  
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Regulus muttered.  
“Reg?! What?!”  
“If they see any of us talking to people from the Order we get crucioed,” Regulus panicked.Sirius freaked out, before he had an idea. “Punch me.”  
Regulus exclaimed “What?!”  
Sirius looked up the corridor. “Reg, they’re getting closer. You have to.” Regulus looked down the corridor, shaking. “Seriously Reg, it’s okay.”  
Regulus nodded, pulling back his fist. “Siri?”  
“Yeah?” Sirius responded, trying not to wince.“I love you.”  
“Yeah baby brother, I love you too.”  
A fist collided with Sirius’ face and the last thing he heard before passing out were the cheers of Avery, Macnair, Rosier, and motherfucking Snape.

————————————————————————-

“Arhgh,” Sirius groaned as he woke up. He looked around. He was back in his compartment, lying on Remus’ lap. Dorcas, Peter, Lily and Alice looked worried, while Frank, Marlene and James looked furious. Sirius couldn’t see Remus’ face, but he suspected it was a mix of the two.  
“He hit you!” Exclaimed James.  
“I know, I told him to,” explained Sirius, pushing himself up.  
“Why the bloody hell would you do that?!” Marlene yelled.  
“SHHHHH!” Chorused Lily and Remus. Marlene frowned.   
Lily turned to Sirius. “Well, why did you?”  
Sirius sighed, rubbing his temple. “The deathy bastards caught us hugging, and they were storming down the corridor. Apparently if anyone gets caught talking to members of the resistance, the offender gets crucioed.”  
“Firstly, deathy bastards? Is that what we’re calling them now?” The rest of them shrugged, then nodded. “And Secondly, why do you have to be so bloody selfless with Regulus all the bloody time?!” James exclaimed.  
“Because, James, he’s my brother. I’d do the same for you.”  
James looked embarrassed. “Oh. I get it now.”  
Remus kissed Sirius on the forehead. “I’m proud of you.” Sirius beamed up at him.  
“Sirius?” Asked Frank. They all whipped around, shocked that he had spoken.  
“Yeah?”  
“I would just like to say, that I hope I can be a bit more like you. That was brave.”  
“I agree.” Stated Alice.Everyone looked awe-struck, before Dorcas piped up. “I hope I can be like you too, Sirius.”  
“Me too,” smiled Marlene.  
“And me.” Added Peter.  
“Us too,” James smiled, putting his arm around a blushing Lily.  
“You, my love, are incredible,” Remus whispered in Sirius’ ear.  
The black-haired boy blushed intensely. “Thank you, guys.” They all smiled back at him.

“Oh, bloody hell, we’re here,” Marlene sighed.   
Dorcas rolled her eyes as they all pulled down their trunks. “You, my dear, are a gutter-mouth.”  
Marlene kissed her sloppily on the cheek. “You love it.” They. All laughed and followed Marlene off the train.  
James was standing, trunk in hand, staring intently at the train. “What is it, James?” Lily asked quietly.  
“It’s just… the next time I’ll see this train is when we’re dropping our kids off. That’s all.” A grin spread across Lily’s face, and she jumped on him, wrapping her arms around his neck.  
“I love you, James Potter.”  
He kissed her passionately. “I love you too, Lily Evans.”  
Peter coughed loudly, causing the two to pull apart. “Huh! That worked! Weird.” Peter said mysteriously.  
They all laughed at that. “Peter, which way is your mum’s?”  
Peter shrugged. “Dunno. She’s driving me. Car’s up there.”  
Sirius jumped in excitement. “A car?! A real, muggle, car?! Did you know I want to get a motorbike-“  
“WE KNOW!” All eight of them said in unison.  
Sirius threw up his hands in surrender. “Wow, fine then, don’t let the guy supplying the alcohol be happy.”  
They suddenly gushed around him. “Wow, Sirius! Tell us about the bike!”  
“Padfoot! What colour are you thinking?”  
“Didn’t you mention something about making it fly?!”  
“Think about how cool it would look with a leather jacket!”  
“You could get leather pants, I know you’ve always wanted them!”  
“Tell me about the engines! How do they work?”  
“Will you take me for a ride on it, once it’s up and running?”  
Remus said finally “I bet you’d look so hot-“  
“Remus!” Sirius laughed. “You live with me! You don’t need to flatter me to get drunk!”  
“Yeah, I know. I just think you’d look hot on a motorbike.”  
Sirius pulled him into a deep kiss. Peter coughed again, and they pulled apart. “Wow! If I’d known all I had to do was cough I could’ve been interrupting kisses since third year! Do you think it works on Dorcas and Marlene t-“ Marlene flung a hex at Peter and he started violently tap-dancing.  
Sirius found this fucking hilarious. “McKinnon, you are NOT funny.” Strained Peter.  
Marlene stood, arms crossed, watching Peter. “I don’t know, I’m pretty amused.” Dorcas muttered the counter-spell and Peter’s legs collapsed.  
“That was traumatising.” James commented.   
“Oh I’m SO SORRY! HOW DO YOU THINK IT FELT-“  
“ALRIGHT!” Remus boomed. Everyone whipped around, shocked at the quiet boy yelling.  
“Well that got your attention,” he smirked. James went to open his mouth and Remus put up a finger. “Peter, go to your car. The rest of you, walk with us. Alice and Frank can separate at the street behind us, and the rest of us, god help the rest of the building, can finally lie down.”  
They all nodded and lugged their trunks up the station steps. Peter turned around, but before he could walk away, Sirius called “Wormtail! Remember! Everyone at ours tonight, eight o’clock!”  
Peter called back, “Fine! But why at yours?”  
And, as if rehearsed, the rest of them called out in unison “BECAUSE HE’S GOT THE ALCOHOL!”

———————————————————————————

They were all of age, thank god, so they could tap their wands on the bannister and suddenly apparate to their front doors.  
Sirius leant over the bannister of the seventh floor. “Marlene! Dorcas! See you at eight?”  
Lily and Remus rushed over to Sirius. “SHHHH!” They aggressively hushed.  
“Sorry! Marlene! Dorcas! See you at eight?” Sirius whispered.  
“Yeah! See you then!” Yelled Marlene.  
Remus and Lily put their heads in their hands.

Sirius unlocked the door to a fully furnished apartment. He had given Euphemia access to his vault and told her to go nuts. Apparently she took it literally, because in the middle of the dining table there was a large bowl of nuts.  
Remus turned around and stared at Sirius, perplexed. “Why are there nuts in the centre of our dining table?”  
Sirius shrugged. “Beats me!” He wandered over and picked one up. “Cashew?” He offered it to Remus.  
“Oh, god.” Remus ignored Sirius and headed to the pantry. He gasped in excitement.  
“What? More nuts?” Sirius asked, sauntering over to Remus.  
“No! She got my favourite chocolate!” Sirius sighed. “Hey. Chocolate is important, okay?”  
Sirius kissed him on the cheek. “Whatever you say, dear.” He picked up his trunk and went into the main bedroom. “WOAH!” He yelled.  
Remus came rushing in. “What is-“ He stood in the door way. “Woah.”  
The room was beautiful. There were paintings on the walls, and the rest of the room was white, with a fluffy black carpet that had a note attached to it. Sirius leaned down and read it out loud. “It’s black because apparently you have a dog that likes to visit, and James complains that it sheds. - Mum”  
Remus doubled over, laughing so hard that he was gasping for breath. Sirius rolled his eyes and opened the cupboard. All of Sirius’ clothes from the Potters’ were hanging up in one cupboard, and it appeared that Hope had brought Remus’ clothes over too, as they were hanging up in the other.  
“I’m going to have to go home and get all my clothes,” Remus sighed.  
“Uh, yeah, about that - come look at this!” Sirius waved Remus over.  
Remus sighed happily. “I love our mothers.”  
They fell back onto the cloud-like bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will start really fluffy and then there will be DRAMA.


	11. The First Night - Remus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus finally reveals his secret, and some really emotional smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really fucking smutty. I will not lie. I think the dynamic between Remus and Sirius is still gorgeous, and the respect they have for each other in this is lovely.
> 
> I really like when Remus finally tells them all his secret too. The animagi are fun too.

Everyone was sitting in the lounge of Sirius’ bar, drinking themselves silly. “Wanna play truth or dare?” Marlene slurred.  
“Yes!” Sirius shouted. Everyone else groaned. “Come on,” Sirius begged, frowning.  
They all agreed, eventually.  
“I’m starting!” Announced James. “Lily, truth or dare?”  
“Truth.”  
He smiled. “Who was the first person you ever had a crush on? Like, a real crush?”  
She smirked. “Remus.”  
James sighed dramatically. “Why do the gays get all the girls?!”  
“Anyway,” she interrupted. “Frank. Truth or dare.”  
“Dare.”  
“Chug the rest of that firewhiskey.” He shrugged and picked up the bottle, finishing it off without wincing. “Impressive, Longbottom.”  
“Peter! Truth or dare?” Frank asked.“Dare!”  
“Alright, owl Mary McDonald and ask why she dropped you.”  
Peter gaped. “No.”  
Sirius smirked. “Three shots!”  
Peter poured three, did them all, and winced spectacularly after. They all stared at him in awe. “Worth it.” Peter laughed. “Remus! Truth or dare?”  
“Truth,” Remus sighed. He knew that they wouldn’t ask about him being a werewolf, and really, what else did he have to hide?  
“What’s your biggest secret?” Peter grinned. Sirius, James and Lily shot him warning glances. “Whaaaat?! He can tell them! We’re all-“ Peter was interrupted by James and Sirius picking him up under the arms and dragging him out of the room.  
Remus shook his head and put it in his hands. He had feared this moment. Peter was drunk, he didn’t mean to out Remus, but he was kind of… relieved? Like he was looking for a reason to tell them. “Remus,” said Lily softly. “You don’t have to do the shots, ok?”  
“I should say it, Lils.”  
Lily frowned. “Do you want to? Because you don’t have to.”  
Remus shrugged. “They’ll find out eventually.”  
Dorcas raised her hand meekly. “Um, tell us what?”  
Remus straightened his back and took a deep breath. “I’m a werewolf.”  
Silence.  
“What, nothing?” Remus said nervously.  
“Makes sense,” said Frank, cheerily.  
“Yeah, always away at the full moon, scars… Don’t know how we didn’t figure it out earlier, to be honest.” Added Alice.  
Remus turned to Marlene and Dorcas. “Yeah, alright. Whose turn is it?” Marlene asked.  
“Marls!” Dorcas reprimanded, slapping her girlfriend on the arm. “Can I ask something?”  
“Go for it.”  
“When were you bitten? Like, what happened?”  
Remus sighed. “Well, my dad, he offended Fenrir Greyback. Greyback’s punishment was biting his son. So I was collateral damage, I guess.”  
Dorcas gasped. She got up and crouched in front of Remus. “I’m so, so sorry Remus.” She pulled him into a hug before standing up and going back over to Marlene.  
“So that’s why what Abigail said last year was so shitty,” said Alice, piecing it together in her head.  
“Look, if you want me to go or something, that’s fine, just-“  
“Shut it, Lupin. Does anyone here have a problem?” Marlene looked around as everyone shook their heads. “No? Great.”  
Remus looked shocked. “You really don’t hate me?”  
Lily scoffed. “Why would they hate you?! It’s not your fault! And you aren’t hurting anyone!”  
Alice raised her hand tentatively. “Alice?” Remus asked kindly.  
“Can I ask something else?” Remus nodded and gestured for her to continue. “Well, I was just wondering, what have you actually been doing on the full moon, all these years?”  
“Dumbledore build the shrieking shack for me to transform. The ‘ghosts’ people hear screaming? Yeah, that’s me.” Alice nodded.   
“Hold on…” Marlene furrowed her brows, thinking intensely. “…Moony?”  
Remus smiled. “Yeah, that’s where that came from.”  
“Okay… so why is Sirius Padfoot? And Peter Wormtail? And James… what is it again…” she trailed off, trying to remember.  
“Prongs.” Lily finished for her.  
“Yes!” Marlene exclaimed, pointing at Lily. “Prongs! That’s it. Why do they have names too?”  
Right on queue, a stag walked into the bar, a rat perched between its antlers. A large black dog bounded in after the other animals, and proceeded to lick Remus’ face.  
“Pads! Stop! Pads!” Remus laughed, pushing the dog off. It ran around the room, stopping occasionally to pounce on Remus. Lily reached her hand out to the stag, who promptly flung the rat off (who was caught, luckily, by Frank) and started to nuzzle her forehead with its nose.  
“WAIT!” Dorcas shouted. Everyone looked at her, including the rat, who scurried over to sit in front of her, the stag, who cocked its head, and the dog, who was lying in Remus’ lap. “What the FUCK is going on?!”  
Remus and Lily sighed. “Wormtail-“ Remus began, pointing at the rat,  
“Padfoot-“ Lily said, pointing at the black dog,  
“And Prongs.” Remus finished, pointing at the stag.  
Frank shook his head. “Nah. Bullshit. No way they became animagis in seventh year. Where are they and how did they get the animals?”  
“Good point! How would they get animals in here?!” Marlene laughed.  
“…Maybe its actually… But they couldn’t have done it in seventh year…” Dorcas looked completely confused. The animals all looked at each other, giving each other weird animal nods, and suddenly they disappeared. Instead, Peter was standing in the middle of the circle, James was standing behind Lily, and Remus had a lap full of Sirius. The entire circle had never been so shocked.  
“Actually,” said Sirius, wrapping his arms around Remus’ neck “we didn’t do it in seventh year. We did it in third.”  
Dorcas actually yelped as she slapped her hand over her mouth.  
“Alright, I’ll be the one to say it.” Marlene looked between Sirius, Peter and James. “WHAT. THE. FUCK.”  
Alice shook her head. “God, I have so many questions…”  
“Hold up!” Called out Frank. “How does this have anything to do with the full moon?!”  
Remus chuckles. “These bastards-“ he looked at all three of them, who beamed back at him “decided that because werewolves were only a danger to humans on the full moon, not animals-“  
“Tell that to the one who gets stepped on every bloody time,” Peter mumbled. Everyone laughed.  
“ANYWAY, werewolves aren’t dangerous to animals, and the reason I had so many injuries is when because when I’m alone on the full moon the wolf is bored, so he tears and scratches and bites himself… So these idiots -don’t look at me like that James, no matter how much it helped it was still reckless- they decided that if they became animals, they could stay with me during the moon. Hence the lack of severe injuries.”  
Before Remus could finish, Marlene interrupted. “Wait, but what about that moon where you almost died?”  
Sirius hid his face in Remus’ chest and whimpered. “Um, well…”  
“Padfoot couldn’t come. Moony and Padfoot are best friends. Bloody possessive wolf didn’t have his best friend. Hence, the almost dying thing,” explained James.  
“I’m sorry,” Sirius whimpered into Remus’ neck.  
Remus hushed him. “Baby, it was so long ago. I forgave you so long ago, okay?” Remus felt Sirius nod. “I love you.”  
Sirius sniffled and looked up at Remus. “I love you too, baby.”  
Remus kissed him on the forehead.  
“Oh, and Peter?” Remus called across the circle. “I hate you.”“I’m sorry Remus, I was drunk-“  
“AND,” Remus continued. “Moony is going to step on you the next full.”

——————————————————————————————

Lily approached Remus while the others were playing poker. “Rem?”  
“Yeah, Lil?” He responded, looking up from his book.  
“I need to tell you something, and you’re going to be incredibly uncomfortable hearing it.”  
“Alright… it’s about Sirius, right?” He closed his book and turned around to face her as she sat on the couch next to him.  
She nodded. “Remember, I’m your best friend, and I would never judge you-“  
Remus rolled his eyes. “Out with it, Lil.”  
“Fine. When James first came over here today, he was in your bedroom with Sirius, and he brought up the fact that your headboard had bars.”  
Remus cocked his head, incredibly confused. “What?”  
She sighed, and continued. “This is something I really never wanted you to know, but for the sake of your relationship…” she paused and shuddered. “Well, we have the same bed, and James was excited about the bars, because he can… you know…” she trailed off again.  
“No, Lily, I don’t know!”  
“God! Why do you have to be so innocent!” She put her head in her hands, before composing herself and explaining. “James was excited about the bars because he could, you know…” she nodded to herself, looking determined. “So he could tie me up. Sex stuff. Got it?”  
Remus looked at her with a straight face. “Yeah, got it. And?”  
“Wait, why are you so chill about this?!”  
He rolled his eyes. “I started watching muggle porn years ago. They do that a lot, you know, in gay stuff.” She clapped her hand over her mouth. If she knew the truth, that he’d been fantasising about it for years, it would be so much worse. “Anyway, why do I have anything to do with this?” She blushed, clearly embarrassed. “Out with it, Lil. Please don’t make this conversation longer than it has to be.”  
“Fine. Sirius wants it.” She exhaled dramatically. “There.”  
Holy shit, Remus thought. Sirius wants him to tie him up? Oh, wait. “Wait! Which part?”  
“What?”  
“Does he want to do the tying, or…”  
“Oh, oh! No, he wants to be tied. Alright. I’m severely uncomfortable. We will never mention this again.”  
Remus nodded violently. “Definitely. Never, ever again.” Lily nodded curtly and turned away. “Wait! Lily!” She swung back around. “Thanks,” Remus said, winking.  
“NO! NO! NOW I’M IMAGINING IT! I HATE YOU, LUPIN!” She covered her eyes and ran screaming into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

Sirius wandered out of the bar. “What was that noise?”  
Remus smirked. “Nothing.” Sirius raised his eyebrows, calling bullshit. “You’ll find out later, okay?” Sirius nodded and walked away. “Wait, baby?”  
“Mmm?” Sirius hummed at the name, heading back to Remus.  
“Can we kick them out in a bit?” Remus smirked.  
“Mmm, yeah. Got to break in the bed, right?”  
Remus chuckled. “Yeah, right.”

—————————————————————————————

Remus heard everyone saying their goodbyes outside. He had already bid them farewell, claiming he was tired, and locked himself in the bedroom.  
He had spent the past half hour lighting every candle that they hand, finding that length of silk he’d kept around, just hoping that this day would come, and finally, digging up Padfoot’s collar from Sirius’ trunk. You kinky bastard, he thought to himself. He laid the items under the bed, and admired his handiwork.  
The room was gorgeous. There were candles everywhere, and everything smelt lovely.  
Remus had a box of things he was… slightly ashamed of, and he usually transfigured it into a shoe to hide it from Sirius. He didn’t expect to use any of these items with anyone except himself, but he let himself look at the box anyway, before shoving it away. He opened it. He found plugs, and toys, and lube - he could use that, actually - he found an old vibrator, and a ring… hmm. Maybe if Sirius liked being tied up, Remus thought, he’d like this stuff too? No, he thought. He’s already getting more than he ever thought he would. He was about to transfigure the box back, when Sirius came in. Remus shoved the box in the cupboard, promising to move it later.

“Wow,” Sirius sighed, walking into the room. “It’s so pretty.”  
Remus pulled Sirius in. “You’re so pretty.”  
Remus felt Sirius giggle. “What’s all this for? You could’ve got me into bed without it, you know.”  
Remus pulled back. He wondered how he would bring this up. Just go with it, he decided. You know he wants this. What’s the worst that could happen?  
“I thought we could… try something…” Remus trailed off.  
“Yeah?” Sirius smirked. “Like what?”  
Remus started kissing Sirius’ neck. “You’ll see.”  
As soon as Remus started sucking marks into Sirius’ neck, the smaller boy let out a long moan. Remus chuckled. “You still like these so much don’t you? Thought you would’ve gotten over them in sixth year.”  
Sirius scowled. “Fine, don’t do it then.”  
Remus forcefully pulled him back in. “Baby, I wasn’t complaining, I was teasing,” he explained.  
“Oh.”  
“I’ll stop, if you want,” Remus offered. Sirius needed to know he could always say stop.  
“No, no. I like when you tease me,” he whispered into Remus’ ear. Remus let out an involuntary moan. “Let’s get these clothes off you, yeah?”  
“Mmm,” Sirius hummed. “Yours off too?”  
Remus knew that Sirius hated being the only one naked. He felt too vulnerable, too exposed. Remus didn’t mind. He’d do anything for the boy in front of him. “Yeah, of course.”  
“Thank you,” Sirius said. His voice had an undertone of guilt.  
“Hey, hey, hey,” Remus said soothingly, stepping back from Sirius and cupping his face in his hands. “Never feel bad for asking for what you want, okay? Never.”  
Sirius smiled and nodded. “Okay Moony.”   
Remus kissed him on the forehead. “Okay.” He pulled Sirius’ shirt over his head, and immediately pulled his off too. Something that Remus had learned about Sirius is that he liked to be dominated, he really did, as long as he still felt like they were equals. “Lie down for me?” Remus asked. They weren’t fully into it yet, Remus couldn’t tell Sirius what to do. Everything was a question, it was all Sirius’ choice.  
“Mmm,” Sirius hummed, lying with his head on a pillow.  
Remus unzipped his jeans, pulling them off. Now that Sirius knew that Remus was already vulnerable, Remus knew Sirius would be more comfortable with what he was going to do next. “Can I take these off?” Remus whispered seductively, running his hand under the waistband of Sirius’ ripped jeans.  
Sirius nodded. Remus raised his eyebrows. Nods weren’t permission, they’d figured that out the hard way. “Sorry. Yes, you can.”  
Remus pulled back immediately. “Baby, what did we say about being sorry?”  
Sirius propped himself up on his elbows and laughed. “Moony won’t be sorry unless he steps on Padfoot’s tail, if Padfoot isn’t sorry unless he steals Moony’s chocolate.”  
Remus leaned down to kiss his boyfriend. “Yeah, exactly. I’ll take them off, okay?”  
“Yes, please,” Sirius moaned.  
Remus pulled his jeans off, (quite a feat, considering they were skin tight), and ran his hands up and down Sirius’ legs. “So beautiful,” he whispered. “So lovely. All mine.” Remus knew that Sirius revelled in the praise, the praise he didn’t ever receive when he was young.   
“Mmm, yeah. All yours,” Sirius confirmed. “Love you.” He added, for no reason at all. That’s the thing with them, though. They never needed a reason.  
“Oh, beautiful, I love you too. Always, forever,” Remus said softly, peppering kisses all over Sirius’ chest. “You ready?”  
Remus knew that Sirius knew what that meant. It meant that they were slipping into a different dynamic, one where Remus was in control. Of course, Remus was never in control, he wouldn’t accept control. He needed this to be equal as much as Sirius did. Still, it was different. Sirius needed to feel dominated, that’s the only way that he could let go.  
Sirius exhaled. “Yeah, love. I’m ready.”  
Smiling, Remus pecked Sirius on the cheek. “Okay. What do you say if you want to stop?”  
“Quidditch.” When Remus and Sirius decided on their ‘safe word’ of sorts, they chose a word that wasn’t negative. Saying ‘Snape’ or something would make Sirius feel like it was a bad thing, that he should feel guilty for saying it. It also made Remus feel like he was doing something wrong. Nothing was ever wrong, they’d decided. They just hadn’t quite figured it out yet.  
Remus nodded. “Good. You’re so, so good.” Sirius beamed at that. There was nothing he liked more than knowing he was doing something right.  
Everything Sirius did, Remus decided long ago, was right.  
Remus swung a leg over Sirius, straddling him. He leaned down to kiss Sirius deeply. Slowly, what started as a gentle, loving kiss, became passionate, and heated, once Remus started grinding his hips down and Sirius started bucking upwards. Remus could feel they were both achingly hard. He moved off Sirius to pull his boxers down.  
“Wait!” Sirius exclaimed. Remus stopped immediately. “You first?”  
Remus smiled. “‘Course, baby.” He pulled his boxers down, and ever after all this time, saw Sirius blush. “Okay?”  
“Yeah, definitely okay,” Sirius smirked. Remus rolled his eyes and pulled his boyfriend’s boxers down. He climbed back on top of Sirius, and continued grinding, their cocks brushing together, making them both quietly moan. They kissed for a while, longer than usual. Love was more important during this war, and they had promised they would never let it go.  
“Moony?” Sirius panted.  
“Yeah baby?”  
“Can I suck you?”  
Remus groaned. “As if I would ever say no to that.” Remus shifted so he was lying on his back, and Sirius crawled down to take Remus’ cock in his mouth.  
The thing about Sirius, is he was fucking amazing at giving head. Remus thought that if there was an award, Sirius would get it, every year running, for as long as he lived.  
Remus moaned loudly. He’d be embarrassed about the noises he made, but he knew Sirius would make the same ones later. They both would. Except louder, and better.  
Sirius worshipped his cock for a while, before Remus pulled him up by his hair. Sirius pouted. “Hey, are you complaining?”  
Sirius shook his head. “No. All yours.”  
Remus kissed him lightly, before smirking and saying “Yeah. That’s what I thought.”  
Remus leaned down and took Sirius into his mouth. Sirius’ taste is something that Remus would never tire of, and he moaned while he kept licking the shaft. He was about to move down, to Sirius’ balls, and eventually back further, before he realised he was getting carried away. He wanted to try this, and if they kept going like they were now, they’d come before they even started.  
He pulled off Sirius, and watched the boy pout again. “Baby, are you complaining?” Remus said roughly.  
Sirius shuddered at being spoken to like that. “No, of course not.”  
Remus sat up, and pulled Sirius to a sitting position in front of him. “Okay, I want to try something.”  
Sirius looked concerned. “W-what is it?” His voice shook slightly. He was scared of being hurt.  
“Hey, hey,” Remus stroked his cheek. “I’d never hurt you, okay? If you don’t like it, tell me. You don’t even have to say Quidditch, just tell me to stop, and I will, okay?”  
Sirius relaxed at that. “Yeah,” he smiled. “That sounds good.”  
Remus saw hesitancy in Sirius’ eyes. “Baby, what is it?”  
Sirius shook his head. “I don’t know, I just don’t want to disappoint you, if I don’t like it,” he sighed.  
Remus pulled him in and held him tight. “Pads, you could NEVER disappoint me. And I really think you’ll like this.” Sirius smiled weakly. “You are so beautiful, you are so perfect, I am so lucky. You could never disappoint me. I love you more than anything, okay?”  
Sirius gave a wide, genuine smile. “Yeah, okay. I love you more than anything, too, you know.”  
“Yeah baby,” Remus smiled, laying Sirius’ head back on a pillow. “I know.”  
“Can we do it now?” Sirius asked, suddenly sounding eager.  
“Yes, ‘course. Do you want to close your eyes for me for a few seconds? You can keep them open if you need to,” Remus reassured him.  
“Nah, I’ll close them. I trust you.” Sirius smiled, closing his eyes. Remus beamed. ‘I trust you’ from Sirius meant more than ‘I love you’ would ever mean.  
He reached under the bed and pulled out the length of silk and Padfoot’s collar. He placed the collar on the bed, making it Sirius’ choice whether to put it on, and lifted Sirius’ hands against the headboard. He wove the silk around Sirius’ hands and the bars. Once Sirius became aware of what was happening, he moaned loudly.  
“You like that, do you?” Remus teased.  
“God, fuck yes Rem, this is perfect,” Sirius whispered. Once Remus had leaned back and told Sirius to open his eyes, Sirius said “Wait.”  
“Sirius? You okay?”  
Sirius smiled nervously. “Yeah, very okay, I was just wondering if you could do it… tighter?”  
Remus almost came right then. “Fuck,” he muttered under his breath. “Of course I can, fuck, of course I can…” Remus repeated as he pulled the silk tiger around Sirius’ wrists.  
Sirius hummed. “Yeah, baby, perfect.”  
Suddenly, Remus realised he had no idea what he was going to do. He never expected to get this far. Sirius’ eyes wandered to the collar. He smirked at Remus. “Put it on me?”  
Remus moaned again. “Yeah, fuck, of course.” He picked up the collar, and accidentally dropped it, it landing near the cupboard. “I’ll get it.”“Wait!” Sirius exclaimed. “Untie me, please. I’d rather want to put it on for you.”  
Remus thought that this, quite literally, could not get any better. “Fuck, Sirius. Okay, sure, of course.” Hue untied Sirius and the boy got up and picked up the collar, opening the cupboard to use the mirror inside the door. Remus heard his gasp. “What is it?”  
Sirius smirked at him. “Oh, nothing…” Remus glared back. “Where’ve you been hiding this?” Sirius pulled out the box of Remus’… instruments… that he didn’t have time to transfigure back.  
“Fuck!” Remus exclaimed. “I didn’t have time to hide it.”  
Sirius, still holding the box, walked over to Remus. “And why would you want to hide it?”  
Remus frowned. “It’s stuff I’ve used on myself since, like, fourth year. I was embarrassed. I’ll throw it out.”  
Sirius went to hold the box out of Remus’ reach. “No, I don’t think so.” Remus looked at him, perplexed. “I think there’s a LOT of stuff in here that you could use.”  
“Baby, I don’t need it anymore. I have you,” he explained.  
“I was suggesting that you use it on me.” Sirius smirked. Remus could have imploded on the spot.  
“You’re kidding.”  
“I assure you-“ Sirius pointed to his very, very erect cock “that I am not.”  
Remus was in shock. And unbelievably turned on. “W-what do you want?”  
Sirius shrugged. “Up to you. Just not-“ he flung an expanding plug back at the cupboard “that. Your cock… much better.”  
Remus was going to faint. “Ties another night, then?”  
Sirius scoffed. “No, I don’t think so. Tie me up. Then use them.”  
“What the fuck, Sirius,” Remus whispered. “You’re insane.”  
Sirius moved to lie in his pervious position. “Yeah. You fucking love it.”  
Remus growled. “Don’t talk to me like that.”  
“What are you going to do,” Sirius smirked. “Punish me?”  
“Maybe I will.” Remus growled. Remus threw Sirius onto the bed and yanked his hands up, tying them tight, just the way Sirius liked it. The smaller boy let out a moan. Point to me, Remus thought.  
“Do something,” Sirius begged.  
“I could… or I could leave you here, all night, waiting to be touched…”  
“Remus?” Sirius’ voice sounded concerned. It was probably an act.  
“What?” Remus snapped.  
“You wouldn’t really leave me here, would you?”  
Remus sighed. Fuck. “No, baby, ‘course I wouldn’t.”  
Sirius frowned. “Are you sure?”  
“Yes my beautiful. I’m sure.” Remus looked at Sirius, vulnerable as can be. “Want me to untie you?”  
Sirius shook his head. “No. I need this.” Remus knew that he did. He needed to forget, to enter the space where the only thing that exists is them.  
“Hmm, okay…” Remus smirked, peppering kisses down Sirius’ body. “What should I do with you?”  
Sirius blushed. “Whatever you want, ’Sir’.” Sirius always says ‘Sir’ to agitate Remus. Remus likes it, so much, but he hates that he likes it, and Sirius only says it when he wants Remus to hurry up.  
“You are infuriating,” Remus growled, sucking a mark onto Sirius’ inner thigh.  
“Quidditch.”  
Remus stopped immediately. “You okay? What’s wrong?”  
Sirius smiled. “Nothing’s wrong, I was just wondering if you could… spank me?”  
Remus gaped. “Are you kidding?”  
Sirius spread his legs, solely to distract Remus from his own thoughts. “No, not kidding. You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”  
Remus moaned. “Fuck, Sirius, I want to. Tell me if it’s too hard, okay?”   
Sirius nodded. “Fuck me, Lupin.” He raised his eyebrows. Remus said no last names in bed. Sirius was irritating him so he’d punish him, and Remus honestly didn’t mind.  
“You wanna be like that, do you?” Remus growled in Sirius’ ear. “You want to agitate me? You want to toy with me?” Sirius nodded. “I’ll have to punish you.”  
Sirius tried to (unsuccessfully) hold back a moan. “On your knees,” Remus snarled, adjusting the tie so that Sirius could change position. “Mmm, so pretty…” Remus sighed. He leaned forward and licked up Sirius’ crack, making the other boy yelp. “Oh, you like that?” Remus teased. “How would you feel about…” He adjusted himself so his face was closer to Sirius’ arse. “… This.” Remus circled Sirius’ hole with his tongue, fucking him slowly.   
Sirius yelped again, moaning incoherently, “Remus, yes, fuck, so good, love you, fuuuuck…”  
Remus subtly slicked a finger with lube, and slid it in in place of his tongue. Sirius let out a low groan. “More,” he begged.  
This was the moment, Remus thought. Now or never. “Dont-“ he slapped Sirius’ arse while fucking him with his finger “Tell-“ another slap “Me-“ another “What-“ harder this time “to-“ even harder “Do.” The last slap was gentle, and he started kneading Sirius’ arse where it was burning red. Sirius was moaning, telling Remus how good it was. “You’ve been good,” Remus growled. “Another?” Remus didn’t wait for a response before thrusting another finger in.  
He had been expertly avoiding Sirius’ prostate the entire time, waiting for the right moment. “More. Now.” Sirius pleaded.  
“I thought I told you not to tell-“ a slap on the other cheek “me-“ another one, Remus’ fingers splayed “what-“ harder that the times before “to-“ no slap at all “DO!” A slap that echoed across the room, accompanied by a stroke of Sirius’ prostate. Sirius screamed in pleasure as Remus slid another finger in. Once Sirius was appropriately stretched, Remus started thrusting his fingers slowly, leaning down to whisper in Sirius’ ear. “Another finger, or do you want me to fuck you with-“  
“Your cock. Please, please.” Sirius cut Remus off, begging desperately. “On my back?” He asked.  
“Yeah, baby. I want to see you,” Remus mewled. He adjusted the ties, allowing Sirius to lie on his back. He looked utterly debauched. Remus tuned out. He knew Sirius was begging to be fucked, but he was too busy admiring the beautiful boy in front of him.  
“Rem?”  
Remus snapped out of his daze. “Yeah, baby, I was just looking at you. So beautiful,” he sighed. Sirius blushed, and, had his hands been free, he would have hidden his face. Remus lined himself up with Sirius’ hole after slicking himself with lube. “You ready, baby?”  
Sirius nodded. “Yes. Definitely.” Remus pushed in, agonisingly slowly, teasing Sirius until he begged. “Faster, please,” Sirius pleaded.  
Remus smirked. “Hmm. Okay.” He thrusted his hips faster, but his thrusts remained gentle and shallow.  
“Baby, please, harder, deeper, please,” Sirius was sweating and his arms were limp against the headboard.  
“Be careful what you wish for… Once I start, I won’t stop.” Remus announced.“Well, ’Sir’, don’t stop.”  
Remus, infuriated at the use of the pet name, snapped his hips forward, fucking Sirius hard, and deep, and fast. Sirius wrapped his legs around Remus, both of the boys moaning at the new angle. Remus reached down and started stroking Sirius in time with his thrusts.  
“Moony, I’m close,” Sirius panted.  
“Me too baby, me too,” Remus purred. He was right on the edge, but he refused to finish before Sirius. Sirius was squeezing his eyes shut, the way he did when he was about to come, so Remus whispered, “So good for me, taking me so well. So beautiful, I love you. Let go baby, let go.”  
Sirius came with a scream, Remus finishing right after him, filling his boyfriend up.  
Remus went to pull out when Sirius grabbed his arm. “Remus? Will you stay in, for a minute?”  
Sirius looked so desperate, and so vulnerable, that Remus quickly agreed. “Yeah, of course. Let me do something, though.” Remus reached up and undid the ties holding Sirius’ arms up. Once they were free, Sirius’ arms flopped onto the bed.   
“Can’t feel them,” Sirius laughed.  
“Baby, can I pull out? I want to hold you.” Sirius nodded and moved over to lie on Remus. “You okay? What do you want to do differently? What did you like?”  
Sirius snuggled into Remus. “I’m okay. It was really good. I liked being tied up, and I liked the spanking… Maybe next time you could talk to me more?”  
Remus kissed Sirius on the forehead. He usually praised Sirius a lot during sex, and although he had this time, he hadn’t said as much. “Perfect, love. We can do that.”  
Sirius coughed and winced slightly. “Hurts,” he explained.  
“Do you need water?” Sirius nodded. “I’ll get-“  
“Can I come with you?” Sirius asked.  
Remus smiled at him. “Yeah, you can. Always.”

Remus looked after Sirius for the rest of the night, and once Sirius could sit comfortably again, and felt safe and normal, there was a knock on the door. “I’ll get it,” Remus sighed. “You okay to stay here?” Sirius nodded and smiled. “Okay. Be right back.”  
Remus opened the door to face a very angry James and Lily. “Bit late for a catch up, no?” Remus laughed.  
They were still fuming. They pushed past Remus and entered the flat. “Could you two,” Lily said, disturbingly calmly, “Please,” she took another breath. “PUT UP A FUCKING SILENCING CHARM!”  
“Oh, fuck.” Remus and Sirius whispered in unison.  
“I THOUGHT IT WAS OVER!” Yelled James. “I THOUGHT, NOW WE WEREN’T SHARING A ROOM, I WOULDN’T HAVE TO HEAR REMUS’ FUCKED UP DIRTY TALK AND SIRIUS’ SCREAMING!”  
“James-“ Remus began, only to be interrupted.  
“NO! I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT! IMAGINE, BEING IN THE MIDDLE OF FOREPLAY, AND HEARING SOME KINKY GAY SEX THAT LASTS FOR HOURS. ON. END!”  
Remus looked at Lily guiltily. “Remus. If you and Sirius don’t put up a silencing charm the next time you’re in the bedroom - and every single time after that - I will permanently charm all of your jumpers bright pink. And Sirius-“ she glared at the boy sitting half-naked on the couch “I will charm Padfoot’s coat white.”  
Sirius gasped. “You wouldn’t!”  
James stepped in. “I think you’d find that she would.”  
Remus sighed. “Alright, we’re sorry. We’ll put a charm up next time, okay?”  
“YOU BETTER!” They both shouted, storming out of the flat and slamming the door.  
Remus and Sirius stared at each other, and burst out laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was really, really hard to write. It took me HOURS. I'm not sure why, I think I just thought that these guys deserved to have a good sex scene, one where they're both safe and kind. It's also really fucking long!
> 
> The animagi reveal was really fun to write!
> 
> Next chapter: the first Order meeting!
> 
> Thank you for reading!  
> Luv, Gabby


	12. The First Meeting - Sirius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They start training, and meet the others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sorryyyyyy this is so short! I had no time to write today, but I thought it would be better to get up a short chapter rather than no chapter at all!  
> Tomorrow's will be so much better, I promise.

Sirius woke up to an owl pecking at the window. Sleepily, he got up and opened the window, taking the letter and giving it some owl treats before it flew off. It was addressed to ‘Sirius and Remus Lupin’. Sirius knew that his lack of a last name was due to his hatred of his family, but the letter sounded like Sirius and Remus had the same last name, and Sirius thought that he could get used to that.

Shaking Remus awake, Sirius whispered “Moony! We’ve got a letter, wake up.”  
Remus rubbed his eyes and sat up. “Whassit say?” He mumbled sleepily.  
“I’m opening it, one moment.” Sirius peeled open the letter to see familiar handwriting. “It’s from Dumbledore. The first meeting of The Order is tonight, and we all have to go.”  
Remus sighed and nodded. “Alright then.”  
“You don’t seem very excited,” observed Sirius.  
“That’s because I’m not.” Sirius looked confused. “For you guys, The Order means duelling and protecting people, for me it means cohabitation with werewolves.”  
Sirius sighed. He understood. “I’m sorry.”  
Remus smiled and cupped his face with his hands. “It’s okay. If it will help, it’s worth it right?”  
Sirius desperately wanted to say that no, it was not worth it, but he nodded and supported his boyfriend. “Yeah, I guess it is.”  
“Hey, Sirius?”  
“Yeah?”  
Remus looked nervous. “Do you think, not now, but like, someday, we should get married? I’m not proposing, I’m just wondering if you’d be up for it.”  
Sirius utterly beamed. “Of course I would, you numpty. Of course I bloody would.”  
They embraced, and had wonderful, in Sirius’ opinion, morning sex.

—————————————————————————————

Sirius, Remus, James and Lily met up with Marlene and Dorcas at the front of their building, Alice and Frank joining them as they headed to the meeting. It would be held in an unassuming warehouse that The Order had acquired to use for training, and meetings, and other activities. Peter would be meeting them there.  
Walking into the meeting room, Sirius saw an incredible amount of faces. Some familiar, some unfamiliar, some recognisable, but only by description… Sirius grabbed Remus’ hand and the taller boy smiled down at him. Sirius felt safe now. 

The Marauders and Lily, and Marlene, Dorcas, Alice and Frank, all took seats at the large table that everyone was sitting around. In the middle of the table was a large, black, leather-bound book. Otherwise, the room was bare.   
Dumbledore stood up and the chatter died down. “Welcome, all of you, to the first meeting of The Order of The Phoenix. It is wonderful to see all of your faces, I am just sorry that it is this circumstance that has forced us together. I recommend that you make yourselves comfortable here. This warehouse will undergo many transformations during our time here to accomodate different training that will be taking place. Before I begin, I would like to thank Alastor Moody for providing the equipment with which we will train. We all very much appreciate it.” Mad-Eye stood up, gave a slight wave, and sat back down. “Alright,” Dumbledore clapped his hands. “It is about time that we got started.”  
There was light chatter amongst the members while Dumbledore fiddled with papers. Finally the man reclaimed his stance at the head of the table. He smiled, and suddenly got all of their attention.  
“Many people here today possess different skills. We have Aurors-“ Dumbledore gestured to a group of people, including Mad-Eye and Kingsley Shaklebolt “We have ex-Hogwart Students, who’ve the ability to duel like professionals-“ Dumbledore gestured to a group on the opposite side of the table, that included the Prewett brothers “We have students who I have regretfully plucked straight from school-“ he gestured to Sirius and his group of friends who all smiled and waved at those they didn’t know “We have people with specialised areas of expertise, useful to the cause-“ Dumbledore pointed at Remus and someone who Sirius would later learn was called Emmeline Vance “We have ministry members, who for the sake of their privacy, I will not point out, and we have many other brave witches and wizards who have offered their time and skills to this organisation, with the promise that it will do everything it can to fight against Voldemort.” There was a gasp from many members of the group.  
“Oh, there is also that,” Dumbledore sighed, referring to the gasp. “The name of the dark wizard we are fighting is Voldemort. You can call him You-Know-Who, or He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named, or any one of the nicknames that have been assigned to him, but his name is Voldemort. I suggest you get used to it.” He nodded curtly, and everyone nodded subtly back. “Wonderful. My original plan today was to introduce you to some of the people you will be fighting, for want of a better word, alongside. Unfortunately, there is an imminent attack and we are going to have to start preparing straight away.”  
Everyone gaped.   
“There is going to be an attack on a small village in Wales.” Dumbledore pulled out a map and pointed out Remus’ hometown with his wand. “It will take place here. Now, the Prewetts, along with our team of Aurors, Miverna, and myself, have developed a training program that will take place over the next week, starting today. I have spoken with almost everyone in this room about their job to ensure a successful counter-attack. Could you please raise your hand if you are unaware of the task you are required to perform?”  
Sirius, Remus, James, Lily, Peter, Marlene, Dorcas, Alice and Frank all raised their hands. This, Sirius thought, is more intense than I thought it would be. This, it occurred to Sirius, is war.  
“Yes, our Hogwarts graduates. I regret to put you in the situation that I have put you in, but, with your permission, you will all be on the front line. Except you, Peter, as you are not of age until next month.” Peter scowled. “I’m sorry, Mr Pettigrew. Your time will come.”  
“Professor?” Sirius asked meekly. “What exactly does being on the front line entail?”  
Dumbledore paused, before saying “I promise I will tell you all about it. Remember, if you choose to step away from active duty, there is still an important role for you. Is there anyone who protests to being in active battle?” Every one of them shook their heads. “Wonderful.” Dumbledore sighed. “Well, not wonderful, but…” He trailed off.  
“We know what you mean, Professor,” smiled Dorcas.  
Dumbledore nodded. “Very well. Emmeline, if you could please give Peter a guide book,“ she nodded. “I will take these brave young adults to begin training.”  
Dumbledore walked out, accompanied by the Prewetts and Kingsley Shackletbolt. He gestured for the group to follow them.

They were all standing in a huddle at the edge of what seemed to be a muggle child’s paintball course. That’s the thing with stuff like this, Sirius thought, you never know what to expect.  
Mad-Eye Moody strode out of the meeting room and stood in front of them. “Okay. Today, we will be practicing duelling. Unfortunately, there may be more death-eaters than there are of us, so you will need to learn how to duel multiple people at the same time.” They all murmured their understanding. “The other thing you will need learn to be a successful soldier, of sorts, in this war, is to cover each other. Never duel without a partner. You cannot always see everything by yourself, and having someone else there could save you life.” Mad-Eye scanned the group, trying to decide who should partner up with who.   
Sirius raised his hand. “Do you think it is possible that Voldemort will be there?”  
Dumbledore stepped forward. “I think, Sirius, that it is very unlikely that Voldemort himself would show up for an attack such as this one.” Sirius nodded and grabbed Remus’ hand. Sirius squeezed it. They looked at each other. Remus squeezed back.   
“Well. Your partners will change, often, and you will need to work as a team. For this upcoming attack, you will all be working together, along with the Prewetts, and two others, who will arrive soon, to fend off the death-eaters. You will all need to cover each other, the entire time, however I find it best for every wizard to have a partner just in case they end up in a… tight spot. I think, just from the look of you, that I’ll pair you up with the one who you care for the most. I find that when covering someone, the more you care for them, the harder you are willing to work to keep them safe. Now…” he looked over their heads. “I’ll take a guess. Meadowes and McKinnon?” They nodded and stepped aside, holding hands. “Very good. Fortescue and Longbottom?” Alice and Frank separated from the group. “Alright. Potter and Evans?” The two wandered off to Dumbledore. “And…” Mad-Eye’s gaze landed on the two boys. “Ah. Yes. Lupin and Black.” Sirius flinched at the use of his last name.  
Miverna rushed over to Mad-Eye and whispered something in his ear. “Ah, understood. Lupin and Sirius.”  
Sirius raised his hand. “Yes, Sirius?” Answered Moody.  
“I was going to say I’m okay with using my last name in this circumstance, if it makes it easier, but I feel like I should tell you, my brother’s on the other side. They call him Black, too.”  
Mad-Eye hummed, considering. “We’ll go with Sirius. But, Sirius, can I ask you something?”  
“Yes?”  
“Can we trust you?”  
Miverna gasped and Remus growled. Sirius looked at him, telling him to stop, that he had this under control. “Yes, Moody. You can definitely trust me.”  
Mad-Eye, instead of responding, walked overt to Sirius and put his hand on his shoulder. “I’m glad Sirius. Thank you for being part of the team.” He shook his hand.  
Sirius nodded, keeping a straight face, although he desperately wanted to smile. “Of course. I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”  
After Mad-Eye had resumed his position at the front of the room, Dumbledore stood before the pairs. “Well, now that that’s sorted, we should get started.”  
———————————————————————————————

They spent five hours duelling, stunning, hexing, cursing and jinxing each other. They learnt each others strengths and weaknesses, they were taught that even if they felt guilty they could not hold back if they were being attacked. They were told that they were not to use Unforgiveable Curses, except in extreme circumstances.  
“Excuse me, what are extreme circumstances?” Alice asked.“Trust me, Fortescue, you’ll know if it’s an extreme circumstance.” Mad-Eye responded.  
“Alastor, could I cut in?”  
“Sure, Albus,” Mad-Eye responded, vacating his position so that Dumbledore could stand in front of the trainees.   
“I would like to permit you, only if strictly necessary, to use the Cruciatus Curse, and very, very carefully, the Imperius Curse. However, under no conditions will any of you use the Killing Curse. If you think that it is necessary, please let either Gideon, Fabian, Benjy Fenwick-“ Dumbledore pointed out the new man who was standing with the twins “Caradoc Dearborn-“ he gestured to the second new face “or Kingsley know. I refuse to place the burden of the Killing Curse on those so young.”  
Marlene stepped forward. “Professor, we don’t mind-“  
Dumbledore raised a hand, silencing her at once. “Marlene, you may not mind, perhaps none of you do, but you are still my responsibility and I most certainly do mind.”  
She nodded, stepping back next to Dorcas.  
At dinner time, when it was finally getting dark, Mad-Eye spoke. “ALRIGHT!” He boomed, getting the attention of the members in training. The immediately lowered their wands to listen to him. Moody opened his mouth to speak, but James was bound by ropes and was trying to talk even though he could not move his lips.  
Moody sighed. “Lily, please undo your jinx before we can continue.”  
She cocked her head. “What?” James moaned behind her. She whipped around. “Oh my! Shit, sorry!” She muttered the counter spell, allowing James to stand and sigh with relief. She kissed him quickly before returning her attention to Mad-Eye.  
“Alright. Now that-“ he nodded at James “is dealt with-“ Sirius and Remus sniggered, but were silenced by a glare from Miverna. “I think that we will finish up for the day. You’ve worked hard, kids, so please eat some food, and get some sleep.”  
They all sighed in relief. “Thanks-“  
“One more thing!” They all turned back around. “Strictly no alcohol during training!” Sirius frowned. Seeing this, Mad-Eye added “It’s for your own good, son. Back here at seven tomorrow morning! And, always remember-“  
“CONSTANT VIGILANCE!” Moody yelled, with everyone else in the room, including those who popped their heads out of the meeting, joining in.

———————————————————————————————

They walked back to their apartment building, sweating and bones aching. “Bloody hell, we’re doing that again tomorrow?” James sighed.  
“And every other day this week!” Lily said happily, pecking him on the cheek. He groaned deeply in response.   
Alice and Frank went to separate and head to their own apartment, before Remus called out. “Hey! Alice, Frank! Do you want to stay in our spare room tonight? Just easier to get there in the morning.”  
Alice and Frank exhaled and nodded in relief. “God, yes, thank you,” Frank panted, patting Sirius on the back.  
“No problem, none at all.”

Sirius and Remus were lying in bed that night, the silence deafening.  
“Rem?” Sirius whispered.  
“Yeah baby?” Remus whispered back.  
“I’m really scared.” Sirius finally admitted. “It felt good to say that.”  
“Oh, darling,” Remus sighed, pulling Sirius in. “I’m scared, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually had to SOCIALISE today. Smh.  
> Better one tomorrow, I PROMISE.
> 
> xo Gabbi


	13. The Beginning of The Battles - Sirius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus finds out where he's going, and the first battle occurs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the battle scene, I really do. I hope you do too.  
> The next chapter is Remus with the werewolves... and a werewolf he already knows quite well.

Remus was lying awake with a sleeping Sirius next to him. Sirius was always the one asking for help, for Remus it was more obvious when he needed it, so he never actually had to say it. That night, he was cold, and lonely, and really, really scared.   
He decided to let himself feel weak.  
“Sirius?” Remus whispered to the sleeping boy next to him. “Pads?”  
“Mmmm?” Sirius mumbled. Looking at Remus’ face, which must have shown signs of distress, Sirius immediately sat up. “Moony? Are. You okay?”  
Remus sat up and shook his head. “Baby, what’s going on?” Sirius asked softly.  
“I’m really, really scared.”  
Sirius stroked his arm. “I know, we all are-““No, love, I’m terrified. I have to live with the people who I’ve spent all my life trying not to be like.”  
Sirius tilted Remus’ head upwards. “You don’t have to, you know.”  
Remus shook his head. “That’s the thing, I do. Dumbledore allowed me to go to Hogwarts, hell, he built a place for me to transform. The least I can do is this one thing.”  
“You don’t owe him anything. He told you that.”  
“I know he doesn’t think I do. But I think I do. I have to.”  
They sat in silence for a while, before Sirius spoke. “Okay.” He said steadily.  
Remus looked up. “Okay?”  
“Yeah. Okay. Just promise me one thing, yeah?”  
Remus smiled. “Of course.”  
“Don’t fall in love with a shewolf and have little werewolf babies?”  
Remus laughed. “Yeah, Pads, no chance. I’m gay. But no,” Remus added before Sirius could ask, “I won’t fall in love with a werewolf, either.”  
“Actually, can you promise me another thing?” Sirius asked quietly.  
“Always.”  
“Come back to me?”  
Remus sighed and grabbed Sirius’ hands. “I’ll always come back to you. I have everything I’ll ever need right in front of me.”  
They kissed for a while, sweet and slow, before Sirius pulled back. “Thank you, Remu.”  
Remus looked perplexed. “Remu?”  
“Yeah! I was thinking Remus is a multiple, so multiple Remus, one Remu!”  
Remus could help but laugh. “No! Sirius! That will not become a thing!”  
Sirius fell into Remus’ arms, saying “Oh, baby, but it already is.”

They watched muggle television for the rest of the night, too scared to sleep, and too tired to fuck.  
The sun eventually rose, and they woke Alice and Frank, before pulling on clothes and knocking on James and Lily’s door, all six of them pattering down the stairs to collect Marlene and Dorcas.  
Once they had all left the building, they walked in silence, arms around their significant others.   
Although they didn’t say it, because they didn’t really have to, they were all thinking the same thing.  
What have we gotten ourselves into?  
And they were all telling themselves that they had to do this, because if they didn’t, who would?

——————————————————————————————

“Ah! Our youngest and bravest, here at seven on a Thursday. It’s a miracle, if I’ve ever seen one.” Dumbledore’s eyes twinkled. “There’s some pastries in the meeting room, I got them from a muggle bakery. Quite lovely, if I do say so myself. I have never been an advocate for no sugar at breakfast, and frankly, with what we have planned today, I think you’ll need the energy. Please,” he gestured to the meeting room “help yourself. We’ll begin in fifteen.” They all murmured their thanks, still too tired to properly articulate. Remus headed in behind them, before he was stopped. “Remus?” Dumbledore asked. “Could I have a word?”  
Remus nodded and walked back to Dumbledore. Sirius was at his side. “Could I speak to you privately?”  
Remus was torn. He decided to say, “It it alright if Sirius comes? Just for the explanation. We could talk about the classified details in a few minutes, after he leaves?”  
Dumbledore smiled his all-knowing smile. “Yes, of course. I would want to know where my partner was going, too. Come on, both of you.”  
Dumbledore summoned chairs for them all to sit on. “Alright. You can still say no, at any time Remus, but after today, the decision will need to be final.”  
Remus nodded. “I understand.”  
“Sirius, I’m sorry, but I cannot tell you where exactly it is that Remus will be going, and unfortunately, he cannot tell you either.”   
Sirius frowned, but nodded anyway. “Okay. Fine.”  
“Thank you,” Remus looked at his boyfriend and smiled. They clasped hands.  
“Alright. The situation. Voldemort has started recruiting werewolves, sooner than we thought. As you know, most werewolves hate everything to do with wizarding society, and have mostly abandoned their wands in a show of defiance against those who have tried to control them. They live mostly in packs, with alphas suck as Fenrir-“  
“No. Absolutely not.” Sirius stated.   
Dumbledore smiled. “I agree, Sirius. I will not be sending Remus anywhere near Fenrir, or any of his associate’s, packs.”  
“Oh.” Sirius nodded. “Okay. Well, good.” Remus smiled at how protective Sirius was. He felt lucky.  
“They are most likely to trust you if they see you in werewolf form, so I will be sending you to them during the week of the full moon. As a general policy, packs do not turn away werewolves who wish to not transform alone. They may have different rules in their societies, however they do understand what it is like during the full moon, and they would not turn away a werewolf, wherever they may be from, the chance to transform with others. I would like you to go to a particular pack, for a few moons running. It is wise not to bring up Voldemort for the first month or two. They are more likely to listen to you if they trust you.”  
Remus was silent for a moment, taking everything in. “Professor-“  
Dumbledore chuckled. “You can call be Albus, if you’d like.”  
“With all due respect, I don’t think I could,” Remus smiled.   
“Fair enough. You were saying?”  
“Yes, sorry. Why would they fight for Voldemort if wizards have treated them badly? I mean, Voldemort is a wizard,” Remus looked at him quizzically.  
“Is it because Voldemort promised them something? Like equal standing in the Wizarding World that he wants to create?” Asked Sirius.  
“Yes, Sirius, that is precisely why they are willing to fight. Voldemort has promise them power that they have never had. He has promised that they will be free to live as wizards in society. And, unfortunately, he has promised the more aggressive werewolves, like Fenrir, and his associates, that they will be able to kill and bite as many muggles as they want during the moon.”  
“That’s horrible,” Remus commented.  
“Yes, Remus, it is. That’s why we need you.”  
Sirius piped up again. “Albus-“ he shuddered. “Yeah, no. Can’t do it.” Dumbledore laughed. “Anyway, Professor, why do they believe Voldemort?”“Good question, Sirius. They believe him because Voldemort plans to overthrow the Ministry, the same Ministry that took away their rights in the first place.”  
“I think I’d believe him, too,” Remus sighed.  
“I’m glad that you recognise that. It will make your job far easier, understanding where they are coming from.”  
“So. Where am I going?” Remus asked.  
“Remus, are you sure that you want to do this?”  
“Yeah, Remus, are you sure?” Sirius looked at him with pleading eyes.  
Remus didn’t make eye contact. “Yes. I’m sure.”  
“Very well. Sirius, if you could give us a moment so that I can give Remus the other details?”  
“Professor, he can tell me. I won’t tell anyone,” Sirius begged.  
“I know you won’t, Sirius. But it is safer, and better for everyone involved, if the only people who know. Are Remus and I.”  
Sirius snapped. “Yeah, and all the other members?”  
Dumbledore looked at Sirius, his eyes still kind. “No, actually. The only people who know about this are me, Remus, and a seventeen year old in the pack I am sending him too. He’s lovely. He will look after you.”  
“Sirius, it’s okay. I’ll be right in.”  
Sirius frowned, but kissed Remus on the cheek and went into the meeting room with the others. 

REMUS.

“So, Professor, where am I going?”  
“Remus, you do know that you cannot tell anyone where you’re going. If you are gone too long, I, myself, will come and get you. I promise that I will make sure you’re back when you are supposed to be, and I will find you if you are not.”  
Remus was deeply comforted by Dumbledore’s words. “Thank you. I won’t tell anyone. I promise.”  
Dumbledore nodded. “Does everyone in that room know that you are a werewolf.”  
“Does Moody know?” Dumbledore nodded.  
“Then yes, everyone in that room knows.”  
“Alright. I think it’s best that you tell them what you are doing. The second that we start lying to each other, the whole Order collapses.” Remus nodded. “Okay. The pack you will be joining for the moons is situated in the hills of North Scotland. The boy who I have been in touch with is named Sebastian. He was turned around a year ago, and, with no parents to care for him, he joined this pack.”  
“Wait. Sebastian who?” Fuck, Remus thought. He had dated Sebastian Pence while he was pining for Sirius for months. He was his first. It better not be him. He left Hogwarts to care for his sick parents… it all seems like it fits…“Sebastian Pence.”  
“Oh my fucking god.” Remus exclaimed. “Shit, sorry.”  
“A fair reaction, I think. You know him?”  
Remus looked down. “Yes. Quite well, actually.”  
“Well! That should make it easier!” Dumbledore smiled. Fucking hell, Remus thought. It would definitely NOT make it easier. He couldn’t tell Sirius. Oh, god.  
“Yeah, I guess.”  
“The Alpha of this pack is called Suzanna. From what Sebastian has told me, she is a gentle woman, who forbids her pack from biting the innocent. However, like all werewolf packs in the wild, mistakes are made, and wizards are turned. The pack mostly consists of young witches and wizards whose families have abandoned them, or who never had a family before. Suzanna is like a mother, of sorts, to the younger lycanthropes, but I will warn you. Just because she is kind, and gentle, does not mean that she is not angry. The Ministry has shunned her, and her pack, just like they have shunned all of the others. She will be difficult to convince, very difficult, however I believe that she wants the best for her pack. If this means that the younger ones receive a place at Hogwarts, that is what will happen. She has a wand, that she does not use except in circumstances of attack, and before she was turned, she was one of the most powerful witches in Britain. Many of her pack were powerful wizards, too, before they were turned. There are children, as young as five, who we can offer to look after. We will give them anything that they want, as long as it is not harmful to the resistance. If it is possible, I would like you to be there for the next full moon.”  
“Professor, that’s in two weeks!”  
“Yes, I know, it’s sudden, but it is what needs to be done. I would like you to go for a few full moons, and then wait a few months, and return.”  
“Okay.”  
“That’s all I have to say, for now. Help yourself to a pastry, and we can get started.”

———————————————————————————————  
SIRIUS

For the next few hours, they learnt how to duel multiple people at once. Sirius and James were incredibly good at it, Marlene and Dorcas showing great promise. Remus was told he was as good as Sirius and James, but he didn’t know whether to believe it. Frank and Alice were better at surprising attackers and hitting them with powerful jinxes from behind. All in all, they made a great team.

While they took a break, Caradoc, Benjy, Gideon and Fabian demonstrated. Each of them took turns duelling the other three. Sirius and the others sat and watched, wide-eyed. They were really, truly, incredibly talented wizards.

Once they had clapped after the demonstration, Dorcas said to them all, “Guys, I think we can actually do this!” They all smiled and said that they agreed.

Suddenly, a patronus glided into the room. “What is it?” Asked Dumbledore.  
“A lynx, I think?” Answered Frank.  
Dumbledore suddenly looked very, very, worried. “Oh, no,” he muttered.  
Suddenly, the voice of Kingsley Shacklebolt echoed throughout the warehouse. “The attack has been moved up. I have moved the Lupins to a safehouse. You have fifteen minutes, at best. Fight. Now.”  
Everyone erupted with chatter. “SILENCE!” Boomed Moody. “We’re going, now. Take your wands, and put these on,” he handed out glowing bracelets and they put them around their wrists. Sirius felt a jolt, and magic spread throughout his body.  
Frank asked, “Moody, what are-“   
“They have protego charms in them. They won’t save you, but they’ll strengthen your defence skills.”  
“So-“  
“Longbottom, no time. Trust me. We have to go. We’ll apparate together. Girls, grab Albus’ arm. Boys, grab mine.” They all did as they were told.  
“Alright, three, two, one!” Dumbledore shouted, and suddenly they were spinning.

———————————————————————————————

They appeared in front of the record shop in Remus’ village. A strange glow was coming from above them, and they all looked up. They yelped. The Dark Mark, which they had only ever seen pictures of, was floating in the sky above them. Oh, fuck, Sirius thought. Suddenly it all became real. “Remus?” Sirius shouted.  
“Sirius!” Remus ran over and held Sirius tight. “We’ve got this, okay? I meant it, I’ll never let anything happen to you.” They smiled at each other.  
“Right, as much as I’m enjoying the young love, we could all die in about five minutes. You two-“ Moody pointed at Sirius and Remus “with Dearborn. Potter, Evans, with Fenwick. Fortescue, Longbottom and McKinnon and Meadowes, go with a twin. Don’t care which one. Spread out down the street. Get everyone to stay inside.”

It was mayhem. Everyone was screaming at the residents to stay inside and not to come out. They told the resident wizards that if they were approached by anyone in a mask, do NOT attack. Cast a protective spell, they instructed, and they’d be there soon. 

Sirius heard a scream. A hauntingly familiar scream. It wasn’t fear, thought, it was excitement. It was psychotic. “Bellatrix,” He whispered at Remus and Caradoc. “Fucking Bellatrix.”  
Sirius watched Crabbe running towards Alice and Frank. He saw Dolohov heading towards Marlene and Dorcas. Lucius sped towards James and Lily. Someone called Lestrange, who Bellatrix was betrothed to, made for Sirius and Remus before Bellatrix screamed “STOP!”  
He turned around, confused. “I’LL TAKE HIM. MY BABY COUSIN, ALL READY FOR ME!” She shrieked.  
Sirius was suddenly more determined than ever. As soon as she opened her mouth, Remus yelled “Petrifies Totalus!” Which she blocked immediately.  
She didn’t hesitate to scream “CRUCIO!” and point her wand at Sirius, but Remus blocked the curse before it could hit him. Suddenly, Remus and Sirius were throwing jinxes at her, which she seemed to block with ease. She turned to the attack, throwing hexes at them that they blocked as best they could. Sirius took a moment too long to block one, and it hit him square in the jaw. She cackled at him, while still battling Remus. Suddenly, she yelled “CRUCIO!” at Sirius, who started writing around. It’s just pain, he reminded himself. Nothing that hasn’t happened before. He let himself fall into it, letting himself numb as he had so many times before.   
He faintly registered Remus yelling something, and suddenly the pain stopped. He forced himself up, only to see Remus’ face, wet with tears. He was pointing his wand at Bellatrix, a stream of red light pouring out of it, as she writhed and screamed on the floor. “REMUS!” Sirius yelled. “ENOUGH!”  
Remus seemed to snap out of his angry daze, and he withdrew his wand, stepping back. He went to say something, before Bellatrix raised her wand again.  
“Protego!” Sirius shouted. He felt his wrist burn where the bracelet was, and the force of the spell almost knocked her off her feet.  
“Come on, baby, we can do this!” Sirius yelled, grasping Remus’ hand. Suddenly, Remus became determined. Sirius watched him raise his wand and start firing spells at Bellatrix, quickly and viciously. The black haired girl was struggling to keep up. She was managing, but only barely. Sirius picked up his wand and started casting spells causing her own to rebound. Suddenly she was knocked to the ground, bound with ropes and petrified. Remus leaned down and took her wand, before removing the petrification hex and leaving her to writhe on the ground, unable to move, screaming for her wand. Sirius grabbed Remus’ hand, and headed over to Marlene and Dorcas.

Dolohov was vicious. Benjy, Caradoc, Fabian and Gideon were battling the other, less prominent death eaters while the pairs took on those in the inner circle. Sirius felt a pang in his heart when he realised that Caradoc was duelling Regulus. Not the time, Sirius told himself. Definitely not the time.   
Marlene and Dorcas were crying, with rage, or sadness, it wasn’t clear, but they were barely keeping up with the power of Dolohov’s curses. They needed help.   
Remus snuck up behind Dolohov and fired a jinx at him, and he lost his footing. While he was distracted, Dorcas yelled “Expelliarmus!” and Dolohov’s wand flew out of his hand.  
Without his wand, Dolohov was defenceless. He lunged for his wand before Marlene fired a jinx at him, one unfamiliar to Sirius, and he was lifted into the air, kicking and screaming while he floated away. Remus took his wand, and put it in his pocket with Bellatrix’s. Marlene and Dorcas ran over to help Alice and Frank, while Sirius and Remus rushed to assist James and Lily. Lucius was laughing as he casually flicked his wand, streams of light blasting at James and Lily. They were blocking them, every single one, until Lily slipped, and a purple stream of light hit her in the chest. She screamed. Sirius had never heard her scream like that before.“REMUS!” James yelled, still battling Lucius. “TAKE HER AWAY!” Sirus had stepped into Lily’s place, and was angrily firing at Lucius. He allowed himself to look over at Lily, who had a large gash that stretched over her chest. She was screaming, tears pouring down her face.  
“HELP ME! REMUS!” She shrieked. Remus had picked her up and carried her away from the Main Street, away from the battle.  
Sirius felt for James. He couldn’t imagine having to keep fighting while Remus was screaming for help. The anger powered him and he yelled curses at Lucius, using the darkest magic that he knew, holding himself back from using the Unforgivable curses. Dorcas, Marlene, Frank and Alice came running over to James and Sirius. Crabbe must have been taken down.   
James started yelling, every word punctuated by a spell from one of them. “WHAT” Marlene fired a curse. “THE” Dorcas flung a hex at Lucius’ back. “FUCK” Frank jinxed Lucius’ left arm so that it flopped against his side. “DID YOU DO” Alice hit him square in the jaw with a hex “TO” Sirius and James moved closer to the death eater “MY WIFE?!” James abandoned his wand and punched Lucius in the face with all his might, knocking the blonde prat to the ground. All of them stepped back. From Lily’s position, lying on the ground supported by Remus, the red head mustered up all her strength and screamed “EXPELLIARMUS!” pointing her wand towards Lucius. It flew out of his hand, and James caught it, paralysing him for good measure.

Everyone except Remus and Lily rushed over to help Benjy, Caradoc and the twins. There was screaming as some of the death eaters moved to attack the residents. Sirius, James, Marlene, Dorcas, Alice and Frank left the older boys to there own devices, knowing that they could handle their task themselves, and started firing protective spells from shop fronts. Sirius was running to the next store when he saw a young boy hiding behind a fire hydrant. He couldn’t be older than eleven. Suddenly, this boy became more important to Sirius than anything else. He picked him up, and the boy started crying harder.   
“Hey, I’ve got you, okay? I’ll get you somewhere safe,” Sirius whispered.  
“My mum!” The boy yelled.  
“Your mum?” Sirius asked. “Where is she?” He pointed down towards the shops that already had protective spells cast over them. “She’s down there?”  
The boy nodded, shaking. “Th-the ice cream shop,” he sobbed. “She’s in there.”  
Sirius held the boy tighter. “We’ll get you to your mum, yeah?”  
The boy nodded. “Is she okay?”  
Sirius kept running, considering what to say. He knew that everyone who was in those shops was alive, but some of them were injured. “She’s going to be just fine, okay? What’s-“  
Before Sirius could continue, Rodolphus Lestrange had bolted towards them. He was rapidly breaking down the barrier. Fuck! Sirius thought.  
“Hey, I’m gonna put you right here okay? Go behind that lamppost and stay there alright?” The boy nodded and ran behind the lamppost and crouched down. “You promise you’ll stay there?”  
The boy nodded. “I promise.” He said.  
Sirius whipped around and started casting protective spells around the barrier that the death eater was breaking down. The anger he was feeling, and maybe the fear, too, was making his magic stronger. The final spell that he cast knocked Lestrange off his feet. Satisfied that the shop behind him was safe, Sirius ran over and picked up the boy.  
He was crying and whimpering into Sirius’ shoulder. “It’s okay, you’re okay, where’s your mum? How far down?”  
“K-keep going,” the boy sobbed. Sirius kept running, checking every shop for a sign of ice cream. “Here!” The boy yelled.  
Sirius looked around to see a muggle ice cream shop. He went to put the boy down. “Wait!” The child cried. “My mum’s a witch too.”  
Sirius smiled. “That’s really cool. What’s your name?”  
“My n-name’s S-sam.” The boy, Sam, whimpered.   
“I’m Sirius. Let’s get you to your mum, okay?”  
Sam nodded. “Will you take me to her? She’s in the back?”  
Sirius held on to the boy tighter. “Yeah, of course. Let’s go.”  
Sirius pushed past the people crowded in the shop front and swung open the door to the back. A man and woman were crying, but stopped as soon as they looked up. “Samuel!” They cried. “Thank heavens! How did you get here?!”  
Sam pointed at Sirius as Sirius put him down. “He found me in the street and took me back.”  
The woman stood up and threw her arms around Sirius. “You are a saint. Are you fighting?”  
“Yeah,” Sirius nodded. “I’m part of the resistance. I should go and help.”  
“Yes, of course, I can never thank you enough for this,” she beamed, tears in her eyes.  
“Of course,” Sirius smiled back, turning to leave.  
“One more thing,” the woman said. Sirius turned around to meet her eyes. “Be safe out there.”  
Sirius gave her a weak smile. “I’ll do my best.”  
He swung open the door to the shop front and bolted back to the battle ground.

————————————————————————————

They kept fighting for an hour, before the death eaters gave up and retreated. It would have been a relief, except they made sure that everyone in The Order heard them say “See you soon” menacingly before they left.  
Everyone apparated in pairs, except Remus and Lily, who held on to Dumbledore for the trip back. Once they had arrived back in the warehouse, Remus placed Lily on a bed (that Sirius was sure hadn’t been there before) and James rushed to her side, thanking Remus profusely for healing her as best as he could. Even Dumbledore couldn’t figure out what curse she had been hit with, but it didn’t seem like it was going to kill her. Moody said that it was just meant to disable her for the rest of the battle.  
“I love you, you are so beautiful, I love you so much. You’re my angel, I’ll never let anyone hurt you again, I’m so so sorry Lily, I’m so, so sorry,” James whispered into her chest while she slept.

Sirius fell onto a couch in the corner of the warehouse, holding his head and trying to erase the memories of the night.  
Well, one particular memory in particular.  
Once someone had said the Dark Lord was summoning them back, the death eaters all fired one final hex. Sirius was next to Frank as a death eater fired a curse at him leaving him bleeding all over, gasping for air. Sirius looked into the eyes of the one who fired the curse. It was like looking in the mirror. The eyes were grey, they were mysterious, they were exactly the same as his. Regulus, Sirius knew. This is who he had become.

“Hey, love,” Remus said softly, letting Sirius lie on his lap.  
“I saw Regulus. He’s the one who did that to Frank,” Sirius said, pointing at the boy lying on a bed next to Lily, slowly being healed by Dumbledore.  
“Yeah,” Remus uttered softly. “I saw him too. He has your eyes.”  
“This is going to be messy, isn’t it?” Sirius said sadly.  
“Baby,” Remus kissed Sirius on the forehead. “It already is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEXT CHAPTER= SEBASTIAN IS BACK GUYS! Those who read my last fic loved him so much, so I thought he would be perfect for this fic. But what will happen if Sirius finds out?
> 
> There will be a wedding soon. Hype up.
> 
> Love, Gabs


	14. Werewolves - Remus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus joins a pack, and sees a familiar face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate that Remus is lying I hate it I hate it I hate it

“Are you sure you have to go?” Sirius whined while Remus packed his bag.  
“Yes, baby, I have to go.”  
“Is there anything you can tell me? At all?” Sirius pleaded.  
Yeah! How about that I’ll be with my ex-boyfriend running around on full moons every month for what could potentially be years! “No, I’m sorry.”  
Sirius frowned. “It’s okay. You’re back in a week though, right?”  
Remus smiled. “Yes, love, for the fiftieth time, I’ll be back in a week.”  
Sirius was still frowning. “Hmph.” He huffed. “Fine.”  
Remus kissed him on the forehead. “You’re such a baby.”  
“Your baby?” Sirius looked up at Remus hopefully.  
“Yeah Pads. My baby.”  
Sirius gave a genuine smiled. “Okay. Good.”  
Remus checked his watch. “I have to go now, okay?”  
Sirius smiled. “Where?”  
Remus chuckles. “Nice try.”  
Sirius shrugged. “No harm in trying!”  
“C’mere,” Remus said softly, opening his arms.  
Sirius climbed into them. “I’ll miss you.”  
Remus cupped Sirius’ cheeks. “I’ll miss you so much Pads.”  
They kissed, slow and tender, before Remus pulled away. “I’m going now.”  
“I love you, Moony.”  
“I love you too, Pads.”

—————————————————————————————

“Good morning, Remus,” Dumbledore smiled.  
Remus was meeting Dumbledore at the warehouse to await further instructions. “Morning, Professor.”  
“Right, well, I’ll be apparating you to a spot near the pack, and directing you so that you can walk there, alone.”  
Remus nodded. “Let’s go?”  
Dumbledore nodded and held out his arm. Remus grabbed on. “Let’s go.”  
They spun, and appeared on a hillside. Remus could tell that werewolves were near. He’d never felt that before.  
“You can feel it, can’t you,” Dumbledore smiled.  
“How do you know?”  
“Surprisingly, Remus, you aren’t the first werewolf I have become acquainted with.”  
“Oh,” Remus nodded. “That makes sense.”  
They stood in silence for a while, until Remus adjusted to his surroundings. He already missed Sirius.  
“Alright. You will need to apparate back to the warehouse in exactly a weeks time. Make sure that you thank Suzanna, but not too kindly. She doesn’t take well to insincerity. In fact, it’s probably best that you don’t say thank you unless you mean it.”  
“Wouldn’t that be rude?” Remus asked.Dumbledore shook his head. “No. Not here, at least. If you didn’t enjoy yourself, let her know it was refreshing to transform with a pack, and be free, and that you’ll be back, with her permission - which she will give - in a months time.”  
Remus nodded. “Okay. Which way?”

Dumbledore pointed out a path over the top of some hills, and told him when to turn left. It seemed simple enough.  
“Remus, please remember, do NOT use your wand, under any circumstance, unless there is a direct threat to your life or livelihood. Understood?”“Understood.”  
Dumbledore gave Remus a genuine smile. “I can’t thank you enough for this, Remus.”  
“Of course, Professor.” Remus gave Dumbledore a rare hug and set off for the mountains.

—————————————————————

Remus could tell that he was close. The scent was much stronger than before. He looked down from the mountain top that he was standing on and saw a small group of people huddled around a fire. I guess this is it, he thought. He traipsed down the mountain side and approached the group. A familiar face looked up.  
“Remus!” Sebastian shouted, running towards him. He hugged him, and said “You came.” Sebastian pulled back.   
Remus was filled with guilt. He knew he didn’t choose to do this, but it still felt horribly, horribly wrong. “Yeah, of course I did.” Remus smiled, pulling back.  
The smiled at each other for a moment, and Remus was reminded why he fell for Sebastian in the first place. He had kind eyes. Kind eyes that Sirius never would have.  
He loved Sirius, more than anything in the world, he reminded himself. A week a month with his ex-boyfriend couldn’t change that. Wouldn’t change that.  
“Alright! I’ll introduce you to everyone, then we can catch up?” Sebastian suggested.  
“Yeah,” Remus smiled. “Sounds good.”

“You’re Remus?” Asked Suzanna. She had kind eyes, too.  
“Yes. Remus Lupin.” He responded, smiling.  
“Wow, with a name like that I’m surprised you weren’t born a wolf,” she laughed.He laughed with her. “I know. Unfortunate, isn’t it?”  
“Well, I don’t know if unfortunate is the word. Perhaps just an amusing coincidence.” Her eyes twinkled in the way that Dumbledore’s did. In a way that only comes with wisdom.  
He nodded. “So, you know Sebastian here?” She asked, gesturing to the boy on Remus’ right.  
“Yeah. He was my first boyfriend, actually,” Remus blushed. He tried not to, but it just… happened.  
“Ah,” she smiled an all-knowing smile. “I see.”  
“Yeah. I was already a werewolf when we were together. He didn’t judge me, not one bit.” Sebastian beamed at Remus from beside him.  
“Well, he wouldn’t. If there’s someone who didn’t deserve to be bitten, it’s this boy, right here,” she said warmly, pointing at Seb. Seb, Remus thought, using the old nickname. Sirius, he reminded himself, Sirius.  
“Thanks, Suzy,” Sebastian gave her a hug, which she affectionately returned.  
“Of course, child. Now, I would do it myself, but I’m incredibly tired. Wizard’s flu, I believe,” she sighed. “Sebastian, could you introduce Remus to the others? Make sure he feels safe?”  
Sebastian nodded. “Of course.”  
The two boys walked over to the other members of the pack, huddled around a fire. “Wait, Remus?” Suzanna called.  
He promptly turned around. “Yes, Suzanna?”  
“Could you come here a moment?” Remus nodded, retracing his steps back to Suzanna. “I think I owe you an apology.” He looked perplexed. He just got here. What did she do? “I do have Wizard’s flu. And I’m assuming you know a spell to fix it immediately?”  
He did, and he remembered Dumbledore’s rule: do not lie. “Yes, I do.” He didn’t offer to fix it, because wands were for a matter of life or death in a place like this.  
“Thank you, for not offering to fix it.” He smiled at her, but she must have noticed his confusion. “Although you have just arrived, you are respecting our customs. I didn’t trust that you would do that, and for that, I apologise.”  
He exhaled. “Oh, well, yes. It wouldn’t be right for me to come here and not abide by the culture.”  
She grabbed his hands. “Thank you, dear. And I know why you’re here. I suspect you’ve been warned not to bring it up for a while?”  
He nodded, thinking how the hell does this woman know this stuff?!  
“Thank you for respecting that, also. Although I trust that you will respect our customs, I do not yet trust you. I’m sure you can imagine why.”  
“Yes, I can. Very well, actually.”  
She nodded curtly. “Well. You should meet the others. Thank you for joining us respectfully. You are welcome to stay as long as you like, as long as respect remains important to you.”  
“Thank you, Suzanna.” And he really meant it.

—————————————————————————

Sebastian introduced him to the other members of the pack. There were men and women Suzanna’s age, who had been bitten in their mid-thirties and shunned by their partners and children, there were some girls Remus’ age, who took quite a liking to him, there were a pair of twins in their early teens, bitten on a camping trip with their friend. He hadn’t made it. The bite takes, or kills, they said. In a way, they believed that they were lucky. There were a few children, probably Hogwarts aged, who were fascinated by magic despite being told they wouldn’t use it unless they left the pack, and there were five or so children younger than seven, along with a newborn, who was born with the condition, a rare occurrence, apparently. This was the most werewolves that Remus had ever seen in one place, and he felt strangely comfortable in their presence.  
Then his mind drifted back to his friends in London, and he realised that he would never leave that life for one like this, even though this one would be far, far easier.  
The last person that Sirius met was writing on a piece of parchment, close to the huts where the pack slept.   
“When was she bitten?” Remus asked Sebastian quietly.  
“I believe she was four,” Sebastian said sadly.The girl had to be at least eleven by now. “Wait, how does she know how to read and write? When did she join the pack?” Maybe she learnt to read before she came here? No, that was impossible. Read, maybe, but not write like she was now.  
“She joined the pack immediately after she was bitten. Her mother was bitten, too, and Suzanna found then, bleeding in the woods, straight after the attack.” Sebastian sat on a log and sighed. He patted a space next to him, and Remus sat down. “The mother was on a hike with her muggle husband and their daughter, and the husband went ahead to find a place to camp. A werewolf smelt the mother, he smelt the magic all over her, and found her, and instantly attacked. He got fed up with the crying of her daughter, and bit her too.”  
“So he didn’t smell the magic on the daughter?” Remus asked, perplexed.  
“That’s the thing, Rem, the girl’s a muggle.”  
Remus gasped. “Is that even possible?! Wouldn’t she just… die?!”  
“Suzanna didn’t think that it was possible, either, but the girl was a squib - is a squib - so I guess enough magic ran through her veins that there was enough to save her, but not enough for her to be a witch.”Remus froze. “So she can’t do magic… but…”“She becomes a wolf at the full moon, like the rest of us do.” Remus froze. He couldn’t remember being so confused. “Bloody unfair, I know. She spent a lot of time growing up here just wishing she had died.” Remus whimpered quietly. Poor, poor thing. “Her mother went a bit mad, a few years after joining the pack. She hated not using magic, so she went in search of a pack that allowed it, despite Suzanna’s assurances that the only packs who did were outside of the United Kingdom. Her wand had been snapped during the attack, so she couldn’t apparate. She went through the woods, the same woods where she was bitten, filled with so much anger that she couldn’t feel fear. A ministry member was camping with his family, and because werewolves allowed to live in packs where they have some control, or locked up if they live in Wizarding Society, seeing a rogue werewolf was enough for him to raise his wand, and well, kill.”  
“Surely not,” Remus pleaded.  
“The girl’s mother had been teaching her to read, and she was lonely here, without her mother, surrounded by people filled with magic when she had none. Then, another muggle found the pack. She had been bitten, but not entirely turned. She’s the pretty one with blonde hair, sitting with the girls about our age. She becomes a kind of… half-werewolf, during the moons. She took pity on Rose-“ Sebastian gestured at the girl writing “and taught her how to write, properly. Suzanna allowed it, with almost no hesitation, because although Suzy is strict, she is not heartless.”  
Remus sat in silence for a moment. All he could say was “God.”  
“Yes, that’s the general reaction. Shall I show you where you’ll be staying?”  
Remus nodded, grateful for a distraction. 

“So, I stay here, and there’s a spare bed at the end of the room that you can stay in. Suzanna and the girls are on the other side of the fence, and her partner, not romantically, he just helps lead the pack, Gus, he’s in the room next to us. If you need anything wake me, but if it’s important, wake him. I woke him every night for the first month I was here.”  
Remus put his bag down on his bed. “Thanks, Seb.”  
“Welcome, Rem.”  
They sat in silence on Remus’ bed for a while before Sebastian crossed his legs and faced the other boy. Remus replicated their movements until they were sitting facing each other.  
“Can I ask-“  
“How I was bitten?” Finished Sebastian. “‘Course. Knew the question would come at some point,” he sighed.  
“You don’t have to tell me,” Remus assured him.  
“I know I don’t, but I want to.” Sebastian took a deep breath and begun. “Once I got home, mum was worse than I thought. Sorry I didn’t owl you, by the way,” Sebastian frowned. Remus just waved him off. “I was looking after dad for a few months after she died, and I assume the reason he deteriorated so quickly is because he missed mum. He’d been with her since he was nineteen. Didn’t know how to live without her,” Sebastian explained.  
I think that would happen to me, Remus thought, if Sirius died. I wouldn’t know how to live without him, and I think I’d just… well, you know.  
“I sold the house once he passed, and bought a cottage a few miles from here. Met a nice guy, too, a muggle. Told him I was a wizard, and he thought it was brilliant. We moved in together. It was nice,” Sebastian sighed. “It was really nice.” Remus patted him on the back, earning a smile from Sebastian. “I went out one night, on the full, to pick these flowers that glowed forever if you picked them on the full moon. I thought Robert - he’s my boyfriend,” Sebastian sighed, “was, my boyfriend - I thought he’d like them. Magic and such, you know?” Remus nodded. “Well, I ended up straying further and further into the woods near my house, but I’d walked this way so many times before during the moon and I’d never had a problem with it. I collected as many flowers as I could, and they were lighting my path back. As soon as I reached the clearing close to the edge of the forest, I heard growing, and, well, chomp chomp and here I am.”  
Remus burst out laughing before forcing himself into a straight face. “Sorry. Chomp chomp. Couldn’t not laugh.”  
Sebastian chuckled. “Missed your humour, Rem.”  
Remus beamed. “Yeah. I missed yours too.”

————————————————————————

THE DAY AFTER THE MOON

Remus and the rest of the pack lay, bandaging their wounds in the makeshift hall between the two compounds. This, apparently, was the only time that Suzanna permitted use of wands. Healing, she thought, was worth it. Remus didn’t pull out his wand, he knew the rules, and she was the only one who had one out.  
She came over to him and asked him quietly, “Have you been healing yourself? All these years?”  
“Injuries like these, yeah. I heal them myself.”  
She sighed. “I’m sorry to do this, but I’m pretty badly hurt myself. I was wondering if you’d heal some of them? The wounds that can’t be fixed with bandages? And the ones that will leave nasty scars?”  
He nodded. “Yes, of course Suzanna.”  
“Thank you, Remus,” she sighed, taking a seat. “Do you think you could… help me? It’s my leg,” she pointed at her shin. A nasty gash spread all the way up from her ankle to her knee. There were deep cuts all over her ankle, and a puncture wound on her thigh.  
He nodded and smiled. “Yes, of course.” He started tracing his wand an inch away from her wounds, occasionally muttering spells that he couldn’t perform nonverbally.  
“Remus?” Suzanna asked while he worked on her skin.  
“Yes?” He responded, still concentrating.  
“Do you know who bit you?”  
Remus sighed, looking up while still healing her skin. “Fenrir Greyback.”  
“No!” She gasped.  
He nodded. “Unfortunately, yes.”  
“Goodness, I had no idea. I’m surprised you have the amount of control that you have during the moon.”Remus looked up at her quizzically. “Well, it’s something that only Alphas really know. Werewolves like Fenrir, who abuse their power, who gave us he identity of Dark Creatures,” she looked angry when she mentioned the phrase, “they usually transfer their power into their bites. If I was to bite someone,” she shuddered “not that I EVER would, the werewolf would be have more control during the moons and be fairly gentle, at least as gentle as a werewolf could be,” she explained.  
“Huh.” Remus was healing her thigh as he added, “Didn’t know that.”  
“Ah, well, most people don’t. The werewolf who bit Sebastian, Zacharius Chen, is an associate of Greback’s, and is almost as vicious. He’s still learning control.”  
Remus nodded. “Makes sense.”  
“How do you have so much control?”  
Remus smiled. “My three best friends became animagi so that they could stay with me during the moon. The wolf, or my wolf, likes company now, and I tend to have more control when I transform with others. I learnt it, I guess.”  
She nodded, smiling. “Impressive, Remus. Very impressive.”  
He chuckled. “Thanks Suzanna.” He looked down at her leg, which apart from a few grazes, looked as good as new. “There you go. It’ll hurt for a while, but, well, you know that by now, I’m guessing.”  
“Unfortunately, child, I do. A few of the others need some help… if you wouldn’t mind?”  
“I don’t mind. Anything I should know?”  
“Ah, wise of you to ask. Cythia is very sensitive to magic, so healing her slowly with gentler spells is best, even if it takes longer.”  
“Cynthia with the brown hair? In the corner?”  
Suzanna beamed. “Yes, you’ve got it. Thank you, Remus.”  
He headed over to heal some more werewolves.

—————————————————————————

THE LAST DAY

“I can’t believe you’re leaving,” Sebastian frowned.“I’ll be back in three weeks!”  
“I know, still. I’ll walk you back up the mountain.”  
“You don’t need to do that, you know,” Remus sighed.  
“Yeah. I know. Come on, say goodbye. I’ll stay here, she’ll want to see you alone.”  
Remus found the group of younger people, and said his goodbyes. Some of them asked him to stay, and it was genuinely hard to tell them he couldn’t. He bid the adults goodbye, before he stood in front of Suzanna. “I really appreciated this, Suzanna,” Remus smiled.  
“Thank you for coming, Remus. I’ll see you soon?”  
“Yes. I’ll see you soon. Thank you,” he said, and he meant it.  
“Remus?” Suzanna said as he turned to walk away.  
“Yes?”  
“You could stay here, if you’d like.”  
Remus was filled with warmth. “I would actually really, really like too. But I can’t. The war and all,” he sighed.  
“Fair enough. Just know, you’re welcome.”  
“Thanks, Suzanna. I’ll see you next moon.” She smiled at him and he walked away.

“It was really good to see you, Rem,” Sebastian beamed.  
“It was really good to see you, too.”  
“You dating anyone?”  
Remus chuckled. “Yeah, actually. Sirius.”  
Sebastian smiled. “Saw that coming.”  
“Funny that. I didn’t.”  
They hugged, a real, genuine hug, and Remus set off for the point of apparition, so that he could finally go home.

————————————————————————-

Remus appeared in the warehouse just seconds later and was faced with a beaming Dumbledore. “Remus!” The man exclaimed. “You did it!”  
“Wow Professor! You had a lot of faith in me, clearly,” Remus chuckled.  
“Would you like to fill me in?” Dumbledore sat down and gestured for Remus to sit in the chair opposite him.  
“Sure, Professor. Sure.”  
He began.

————————————————————————

After giving Dumbledore a play-by-play of his week, Remus walked to his apartment. He finally, finally got to see Sirius. He would have to push down the guilt of seeing Sebastian. He had no other choice than to hide it. He opened the door to find Sirius watching muggle television on their lounge. “Hey, baby!” Remus exclaimed.  
Sirius ran over to Remus and jumped on him. “I missed you so, so much,” Sirius sighed into his boyfriend’s neck. “So, so, so much.”  
Remus leant down to kiss Sirius. “I missed you too my love,” he mumbled into Sirius’ lips.  
“Please tell me we can fuck now?” Sirius smirked.  
“You horny bastard. But yes, we most definitely can.”

He didn’t want to keep lying, but he had too. He’d tell him after all of this was over. He was praying for that day to come soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
> Next chapter will be a massive time jump.  
> I'm trying to get up two chapters a day but I think I'll only get up one :(  
> Sorry guys, I'm trying my best x


	15. A Wedding, 9 Months Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a wedding, there is a proposal and there is a battle plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't been updating as much! Been really busy. I'll get another chapter up today, and I won't go a day without uploading a chapter!

9 MONTHS LATER

Remus and Sirius were lying in bed, cuddling up to each other and whispering sweet nothings in each other’s ears.  
“Can I tell you something?” Sirius asked.  
“Yeah baby, of course you can,” Remus kissed him on the forehead.  
“If you call me cheesy, no sex for a week.”  
Remus chuckled. “Fine, fine. What is it?”  
Sirius propped himself up on his elbow. “Every day I think it would be impossible to love you more than I do, but I fall in love with you more and more every day.”  
Remus beamed. “God I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you.” Sirius thought that he would never tire of those words coming from Remus. They kissed, deeply, and tumbled back into bed.

——————————————————————

Sirius and Remus were lying, sweaty and spent, in each other’s arms in bed, when there was a loud knock on the door.  
“Bloody hell. People and their timing!” Sirius exclaimed, pulling on jeans and heading to the front door. As soon as he opened it, Marlene, Dorcas, Peter, James, Lily, Alice and Frank tumbled in. “By all means, come in,” Sirius muttered sarcastically.  
“GUESS WHAT!” James yelled. Remus stumbled out of the bedroom sighing.  
“What?” Sirius sighed.  
“WE’RE GETTING MARRIED!” Alice and Frank yelled. Sirius beamed and embraced them both.  
“I’m so fucking happy for you!” He shouted. And he meant it.  
“BAR! NOW!” Marlene screamed, herding them all into the cupboard.

They all spent the rest of the night toasting Alice and Frank. The wedding would be in five days, to Dorcas’ shock. “How are we going to plan it?! The flowers?! The cake?! THE DRESS?!”  
“We just want it to be simple, after everything last week, we thought, well, why wait?” Alice smiled.  
Everything last week referred to Benjy Fenwick being blown to bits by Rupert Wilkes, a death eater that they didn’t previously know, and someone who Caradoc and the twins were deadset on killing. Mad-Eye Moody went looking for his body and only found bits of him. A quick death, he told them. Wouldn’t have felt a thing.  
It seemed that the entire group had wedding fever. Marlene confided to Sirius that she was pissed with Frank because she wanted to propose to Dorcas in the new few days. James and Lily were definitely getting close, and Sirius and Remus, the most loved up of all of them (in their opinions, at least) could get married any day, at any time, and they’d be completely happy with it. Peter, well, he’d reconnected with Mary McDonald, to both everyone and no one’s surprise, but Sirius thought that the war would be over sooner than the thought of marriage would ever enter their minds. 

The loss of Benjy was on all of their minds. They had an unspoken agreement not to speak of it, especially because Frank had grown particularly close to him and was grieving in his own way, a way that they didn’t want to interrupt, or change. Frank wanted to marry Alice because any one of them could be the next to die, any one of them could be the next to be taken, any one of them could be the one to defect to the other side. Maybe not one of them, but someone. Everything was tense, all the time, and honestly, Frank said, why wait? Tomorrow wasn’t guaranteed anymore, and they wanted to spend every day for the rest of their lives together, however long the rest of their lives may be. Sirius admired the sentiment, to be honest. He respected the others too much to propose to Remus, but it was definitely on their minds. It was on of the couple’s minds. 

Alice had owled her mother, who was both disappointed and overjoyed. Overjoyed because her daughter was getting married, and disappointed because firstly, they were nineteen, and secondly, she hadn’t even met Frank. It was decided that Frank’s parents, Alice’s parents and the two to be married would have dinner tomorrow night, much to Frank’s fear and Alice’s embarrassment. Good luck Frank, Sirius thought, although he knew he should be wishing luck to Alice. Augusta Longbottom was a strict woman who’s approval was hard to gain.  
“They’ll be fine,” Remus whispered in Sirius’ ear. “At least when we get married we already know our parents like each other.” Remus kissed him on the cheek and went to talk to Lily. Remus wanted to marry him. He’d said it! There was a war, there was pain, but there was also Remus, and he was the good that Sirius craved.

Alice clapped her hands to get everyone’s attention. “Okay! Dorcas, Marlene, would you like to be my bridesmaids?”  
The girls squealed in excitement (which was highly uncharacteristic of Marlene), before saying “YES! YES! YES!” Alice smiled. Lily looked put out.  
“Oh, shush Lily. I was asking you to be my maid of honour, you idiot!”  
Lily laughed and ran up to Alice. “I love you! Yes! Definitely!” Alice hugged her back.  
Frank began, “Now, Sirius, Peter and James, how do you feel about groomsmen?”  
“Fuck yes!” They shouted in unison.  
“Remus,” Frank began turning to the taller boy, “You’ll be best man?”  
Remus beamed. “Of fucking course I will, you twat!”  
The girls spent the rest of the night flipping through magazines looking for dresses, while the boys discussed cake, and laughed about how their honeymoon will probably be on a battlefield.   
Just for a moment, a very brief moment, life seemed normal. It seemed okay again. Tomorrow there was another attack, and one of them could face the same fate as Benjy, but for now, they were friends. They felt like teenagers. They felt alive.

——————————————————————

Five days later, after a surprise attack and Caradoc hitting Rupert Wilkes with a curse that they were all delighted to hear (and for some of them, unfortunately, to see, firsthand) had left Wilkes castrated, with the added benefit of his dick dropping off, right in front of the Prewetts, and, to her disgust, Dorcas (Dark Magic, Caradoc smirked. Couldn’t be healed.), the group, plus Alice and Frank’s parents, were getting ready for the wedding at Alice’s family’s country house. The bridesmaids were fussing over the bride while the groomsmen were trying to calm down Frank, except for Peter, who was organising what he considered to be the most important part of the wedding: the cake.  
“Frank, do you love Alice?” Sirius asked.  
“Sirius! How is that helpful!” whispered Remus in his ear.   
“Just wait!” Sirius whispered back.  
“Frank, do you love her?” Sirius repeated.  
“Yes! God, yes, I love her so much,” Frank sighed.  
“Then why are you scared?” Sirius asked, crouching in front of the seated groom.  
“I’m scared I’m not good enough for her!” Frank cried, falling back into the couch dramatically.“Guess what mate?” James chimed in. Frank just looked up at him. “She wants to marry you! That amazing girl out there wants to marry you! So come on! Get up! Get out there and remind her why she wants to be with you!”  
Frank beamed. “Yes! Okay, I’m going!”  
“Solid, Frank!” Sirius called after the overly excited groom.  
Remus sighed. “Risky, babe, but I’ve got to admit, good job.” He kissed Sirius on the cheek. “Now, all of you, let’s get out there, and for the love of god, will SOMEONE find Peter!”

Fifteen minutes later, the groom was standing at the alter, his groomsmen to his right. Dumbledore was standing behind them, as he would be officiating. The parents were sitting in white chairs in front of the alter, the music was playing, and Marlene and Dorcas began walking down the aisle. They looked beautiful, Sirius thought. Gay or straight, those girls looked gorgeous. Lily came down the aisle next. Although James would deny it if anyone ever asked, Sirius swears he saw him shed a tear.  
Finally, Alice walked down the aisle. She was in a simple white dress that stopped halfway down her shin. Her hair was out, sitting wavily on her shoulders. She was wearing high white shoes, and she carried a simple bouquet of white roses.  
And, if Sirius did say so himself, she looked absolutely radiant.

The vows proceeded without a hitch, and soon enough, Frank and Alice were named man and wife. She took his last name, which was, in Sirius’ opinion, the most ridiculous thing she could have ever done. He put it down to wedding fever.  
Although the nine of them hung out almost every night, and lived within walking distance of each other, the wedding felt special. They danced, and they drank, and they let themselves forget about the war for a while. Sirius danced with Remus, all night long. For the first time, in a long time, he felt safe. He felt at home.

——————————————————————————

A week later, after they had all fought in yet another battle (this one in suburban England. The death eaters seemed to want to hit a a small street of shops. Dumbledore suspected that a wizard who had defected from Voldemort had taken to hiding there.) Sirius and Remus were lying in. bed. Remus was sleeping, and Sirius had time to think.  
Maybe we should get married, he considered. Life wouldn’t change except they’d finally feel bound together in the way that Sirius had always craved. James and Lily would be next, Sirius assumed, because had a sneaking suspicion that Lily was pregnant. He would ask, but if she wasn’t, he would be calling her fat, and then everything would escalate… He thought it best to wait until she wanted to tell them herself. If Sirius’ suspicion was even correct, he thought. But knowing him, it probably was. There was a knock on the door and Remus jumped awake. Sirius chuckled at his startled response, and kissed him on the forehead. “I’ll get it Moony,” he smiled, getting up and walking to the door. As soon as he opened it, James bounded in, Lily rolling her eyes as she wandered in behind him.  
“What is it with you people?! Do you not know what ‘come in’ means?!” Sirius exclaimed.  
“GUESS WHAT PADFOOT?!” James spun around as Remus walked out of the bedroom. “GUESS WHAT MOONY?!”  
“The same thing you asked Padfoot?” Moony said sarcastically.  
“WE’RE GETTING MARRIED!” Yelled Lily.  
Sirius and Remus just stood there, straight faced.  
“Why the FUCK aren’t you happy for us?!” James shouted angrily.  
“Mate, we’re happy for you, we just saw this coming,” Sirius chuckled.  
“I bet it would happen today, Sirius bet tomorrow, so firstly Pads, you owe me a galleon, and secondly, you two… do you have any other reason to be getting married? Other than ‘love’?” Remus smirked.  
“Bloody hell!” Lily exclaimed. “How do you two know EVERYTHING!” She yelled dramatically.  
“Tell us, why don’t you?” Sirius smirked.  
“You already know!” James cried out.  
“Yes, Prongs, but it is SO much more fun to hear you say it,” Remus smiled mischievously.   
Lily sighed. “I’m pregnant.”  
“HA!” Sirius shouted. “Called it!”  
James rolled his eyes. “Before you ask, Padfoot, we are not naming the sprog Sirius.” Remus opened his mouth. “OR REMUS!” James yelled.  
“We were actually thinking Peter,” Lily said with all seriousness.  
“YOU’RE KIDDING!” Remus and Sirius shouted in in unison.“Yes, you twats, we’re kidding!” James clarified.   
“Anyway,” began Lily, “We’re pulling a Longbottom and having the wedding in a week. Potter Estate, we thought.”  
“Just us? Who’s coming?” Asked Remus.  
“We actually thought we’d have us, and the parents, obviously, and my sister-“ James started to shout something. “JAMES! SHE’S MY SISTER! LET IT GO!” James huffed, and she continued. “Anyway, we thought we’d have Gid and Fabian and Caradoc, and Dumbledore could officiate, seeing as he’s already practiced in bonding, we though Emmeline, and Edgar, and Hestia, and definitely McGonagall… Who am I forgetting?” She asked James.  
“Well, Lily’s insisting on have Florence, for reasons unknown to the general human race,” she glared at him, “and Ella and that other Slytherin girl who Sirius and I almost killed are also on the guest list,” James finished sarcastically.  
Sirius gasped and put his hand over his heart. “Slytherins! At your wedding! Surely not!”  
James sighed. “Just… don’t get her started.”“Aw, honey, you know me so well,” Lily smirked. “Yes Sirius, don’t get me started. You complain, you don’t come!”  
Remus covered his mouth, but his laugh escaped anyway. Sirius glared at him. “Fine. Bring the snakes. And, as a wedding present, I won’t set any on them, either.”  
“Sirius,” Remus gave him a warning glance.  
“Sorry. It’s just. Narcissa and stuff. Slytherins don’t sit well with me. I’ll play nice, I swear.” He said, more to Lily than James.  
She just waved him off. “I know you will.” She leant in closer and whispered in his ear, “Because if you don’t, I’ll cut off your hair in your sleep and hex you so you can’t charm it back.” She stepped back and smiled.“Well! Now that’s sorted! Sirius, you’ll be best man?” James asked hopefully.  
“Really?!” Sirius asked excitedly. He’d never thought he would be one.“Yes you twat! Who else?!” Sirius beamed.  
“Rem, do you want to be my maid of honour?” She shook her hair. “Man of honour, actually.”  
Sirius saw Remus beam. He ran over to her and enveloped her in a massive hug. “Yes! Of course I will!”  
All four of them laughed, before James and Lily ran off to tell Dorcas and Marlene, Alice and Frank and Peter.

————————————————————————-

Two days later, The Order was planning to raid a death eaters safe house. There was no possible way that the death eaters could know that The Order was coming, so if we move in there stealthily, it should be an easy enough job, Dumbledore said. Most of The Order, at least the ones trained to duel, were coming on this mission. We want to get out of there quickly, so that they can’t call for backup, so the more of us that there are, the better the chances of us getting out of there.   
“What are we actually looking for?” Asked Marlene.  
“There are maps, and plans for attacks, and locations of other safe houses, all stored at the one we are raiding today. We want to get as much as we can. When Moody calls it, get out of there straight away. If you haven’t got everything, it doesn’t matter. If a duel isn’t over, throw a hex and run for it. We can’t apparate out of the safe house, and the apparition prevention extends a while out. When it’s time to go, curse, hex, jinx, do whatever you need to do to give yourself enough time to get out of there, and once you’re out, find your partner, and run. When Moody calls it, you get out. There is only one condition in which you stay, and if one of you stays, all of you stay, and that’s if there is someone so seriously injured that they need extra time to get out. I hate to say this, but if we do lose someone-“ everyone gasped, “-and in this line of work, it is always a possibility, get out and leave Moody to get the body. Do not stay with him. Only stay if there is someone who needs time to get out. If there is someone who will never get out, you have to run, or there could be more of you lost, and that’s the last thing we need. Any questions?” Dumbledore finished.  
Frank raised his hand. “Are the partners any different?”  
Dumbledore nodded. “Excellent question, Frank, I almost forgot. Partners are as follows: Emmeline, Hestia and Lily, Sirius and Remus, Dorcas and Marlene, Peter and Fabian, James, Frank and Caradoc, Alice and Gideon, and Edgar and Alastor. Before you ask, I’m splitting you up, because after we lost Benjy, it is best that Caradoc, Fabian and Gideon have someone else with them so that they do not get distracted and go after Wilkes. As much as you may want to boys, it is safer for all of you to not, and placing you with younger partners who you do need to protect will hopefully remind you of that. Now, the plan is as follows,” Dumbledore cleared his throat.  
“Lily, Emmeline and Hestia, I have placed three of you together because you will be responsible for breaking into the back room I have been warned about. Inside that room could be any number of things, however we are looking for attack plans. The more classified details will be in this room, and I know you are all very academically skilled witches, and you know what you are looking for, and are wise enough to find that specifically and get out. If there is nothing there, or if time runs out, you run anyway. There is always another chance.”  
“Alright,” Lily said, glancing at a nodding Emmeline and Hestia, “We can do that.”  
“I know you can,” Dumbledore smiled. “Now. The death eaters will not notice that you have broken into the room for a while, but Peter and Fabian, you will be outside the room to defend it when they inevitable realise where the girls are.”  
Peter looked like he was going to be sick. “Understood.” Fabian responded.  
“Good. Alice and Gideon, you will be responsible for collecting as much information as you can from what is in the room. There will be maps on the walls, and correspondence on tables, and locations of safe houses. I suspect that this information will be strewn around, and it will be difficult to collect. Please try and get as much as you can. If you do not have time to get much, or if you get none at all, that is okay, because, as I said, there is always another chance. Dorcas and Marlene, you have an eye for these things, so until the duelling gets ferocious, as I suspect that it will, you will help Alice and Gideon look for information. When the time comes for your next task, please pass the information to Alice and Gideon. Whether it is crumpled up to make room, or ripped, I do not care.”  
Alice and Gideon nodded curtly. “Got it.” They said in unison. Marlene and Dorcas murmered agreement.  
“Marlene and Dorcas, the death eaters will be distracted, by what I will tell you in a moment, but inevitably they will begin to attack those who are stealing the information. When that time comes, you two will pass information to Alice and Gideon, and take over the duelling yourself. This will be difficult at first, but back up will come, and I know that you can both handle it.”  
“Thanks, Professor,” Dorcas smiled before shaking her head. “But yes,” she added glancing at Marlene, “Understood.”  
“Perfect. Now, Sirius and Remus, James, Caradoc and Frank. You will be on the defence once we get into the safe house. You will need to immediately try and disable as many death eaters as you possibly can. Some people in there may be traitors to the resistance, I am warning you. You will need to hex, jinx and curse any person in that building who is not someone who is in this room right now. Part of The Order is knowing to trust people in it, but also trust no one. If there is someone in there who you know, Order or not, who did not come with us, they are a traitor. Do not hesitate to do what you need to do to get them out of the way. Everyone who has. Already been given jobs will be occupied, and you five will need to look out for them as well as yourselves. Trust that Peter and Fabian can cover Lily and the others in the back room, and focus on looking out for Alice and Gideon, as well as. Dorcas and Marlene. If, well, when, the battle becomes more intense, the girls will join you on the defence, and if possible, the offence, both keeping the others safe and also disabling the death eaters, maybe giving the ministry a chance to come and pick them up. You five, your priority is ensuring that no one gets injured. Disable death eaters if you can, but defence before offence, that is the rule. Defence before offence. Remember that.”  
“Got it,” Sirius and Remus said.  
“Understood.” Said Caradoc, James and Frank agreeing with him.  
“Alastor and Edgar, you know your roles, but for the benefit of the group, this is what they’ll be doing. Alastor and Edgar will be battling along with you five,” Dumbledore gestured to James, Caradoc, Frank, Sirius and Remus, “But they will also be there for emergencies. They are trained for these things. You will not use the killing curse. None of you will. If you do, you will not be permitted for active duty. However, things do happen, and Alastor and Edgar are there to perform this curse in the most dire of situations. I would prefer that you notify them before using the Cruciatus curse as well, but if the situation calls for it, you are all permitted to use that. Only if necessary, only if entirely necessary. Alastor and Edgar will be there as offence while you five are defence. They are highly experienced, and more talented than myself, and they know how to look out for those around them without even pausing a duel. They will yell warnings at you and you will listen. In this situation, they are never wrong. If either of them shout an instruction, you follow it immediately. And I cannot stress this enough. When Alastor calls it, he will yell “Let’s go” and you WILL go. It is not an option. Do not try to be brave, and stay for extra information, or to take down a death eater, because if you stay, even if you bring back valuable information, you will not participate In active duty for the rest of your time in The Order. Am I making myself clear?”  
“Yes, Professor,” They all chorused.  
“If someone is hurt, you all stay. If you leave to save yourself when others are in grave danger, you will not participate in active duty.”  
They nodded.  
“And if someone dies, and Alastor yells “Let’s go!”?”  
“We run,” they responded in unison.  
“Alright. I would like to firstly tell you all that I trust every one of you implicitly, and I do not believe that any of you would betray The Order, or each other. However, sometimes I will give you incorrect information about the times or places of the attacks or raids. It is a safety precaution, that I hope you all understand.”They all nodded. “Wonderful. The attack is in the place I told you about, however I told you it would be happening at ten o’clock, when we will be arriving at nine. We will be out of there by ten, ensuring safety and security for all of us.”  
“Now,” Moody spoke up. “Who’s ready for a raid?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter = action.
> 
> Also imma vent I'm in a ward at the moment and this one girl keeps trying to plant things in my room and then dob on me bc I like the girl she likes?  
> Been crying for two days straight. Only thing that helps = this fic. AND YOUR COMMENTS!
> 
> Love, Gabbi


	16. A Raid, A Wedding, and a... Spy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a massive raid, and there is a wedding.  
> Maybe, Remus thinks, there is a spy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I'm not uploading as often! I'm doing my best to get up two chapters a day, but I'm only managing one. Sorry x

Seconds after they had grabbed Moody’s arms, everyone appeared in a field at the edge of a forest. In the distance, a large black warehouse was looming.  
“Okay. This is the apparition point, when I tell you to go, you come here. You wait for everyone to get here before apparating. You’ll respond to your last names. All that clear?”  
They all murmered variations of ‘yeah’ in response to Moody.  
“Right, stay low while we head over. We don’t need them seeing us before we see them.” They all started walking towards the building. “No. Crouch down, and stay next to your partner, or partners. Go.” Moody finished.  
Moody and Edgar led the group, crouching and moving quickly through the long grass. James, Frank and Caradoc followed. Lily was holding Emmeline’s hand, Hestia crouching next to them. Alice and Gideon and Peter and Fabian were moving in a clump in front of Marlene and Dorcas, and Sirius and Remus were heading up the back. They held hands some of the way, and when they finally reached the side of the building, where they stood up and walked quietly, close to the wall, they whispered ‘I love you’s before drawing their wands. Moody was closest to the entrance and he held up his fingers, mouthing “Three, Two, One. Go.” And he stood in front of the door, and blasted it open.

All that Remus heard was banging as he entered the building. There were streams of light flying every where, and he had to duck and pull Sirius with him almost immediately after they walked in. Distract them, Remus reminded himself. Distract. Alice and Gideon had strayed to the sides of the room and started ripping maps off the walls, but the death eaters were too distracted (and thick) to notice what they were doing. Moody had disabled two death eaters already, but it seemed that at least twenty were in the house. Edgar was duelling Dolohov, and Sirius was throwing curses at Lucius. Frank was battling an unfamiliar face, while James threw hex after hex at Wilkes, keeping Fabian away from him. Caradoc was using his anger to power his spells, disabling a death eater and moving onto another one. Remus was flicking jinxes at any death eater he could see, but no one had taken him on yet. He saw Lily, Emmeline and Hestia quietly enter the back room, Peter and Fabian standing in front of the door, wands raised. Someone stepped into Remus’ line of sight, a face that made him furious. Bellatrix started throwing curses at him, and suddenly they were duelling. Bellatrix huh, Remus thought. Lucky me.

Bellatrix didn’t seem to tire of duelling Remus. She threw insults at him that he barely understood. He registered that most of them were homophobic, but really, he was used to that by now. The only reason Remus could keep up with such a powerful witch was because he was so incredibly angry at how this woman had treated Sirius. He suddenly stopped hexing and jinxing her and started throwing curses at her, which he noticed she found harder to block. We’re getting somewhere, Remus thought. It was harder to fight her by himself, but even he could admit that after all the training he was quite good at this.   
“Guess you can keep up with me because you’ve got a bit of pure-blood in you! What with all the gay fucking you and my blood-traitor cousin have gotten up to!” Bellatrix shrieked.  
He ignored her. He always thought yelling just kept the fight going. But… maybe if he insulted her back she would become more distracted, and lose focus on her spells.  
“Maybe the reason you haven’t taken me down is because your brain is a little slow, what with all the incest and all!” He shouted back at her. He threw a jinx at her that she didn’t block, out of shock from what he had just said. It’s working, he thought. This could work. He cast a strong Protego and allowed himself a look at his watch. It was almost ten. No one would come unless there really was a traitor in The Order, and Remus didn’t think there was, so he let himself relax, and threw a curse that hit her in the chest. She wailed with pain and he immobilised her, but only temporarily. Just to give him enough time to help James, who was duelling Wilkes and a death eater who Remus knew, but couldn’t recall the name of. He stepped in and took over duelling Wilkes. Usually Remus would’ve found him an incredibly difficult opponent, but after duelling Bellatrix (who was a raging bitch, but also an incredibly powerful witch) he found duelling Wilkes refreshingly easy. He cursed Wilkes, and it hit him in the groin, causing Wilkes to emit a loud cry of agony. Lucky shot, Remus thought. Got nothing there anymore anyway. He immobilised Wilkes and went to help Caradoc when a terrifying bang echoed from outside the building. The Order members looked confused for a moment, before determinedly returning to their jobs. Peter and Fabian were attacking two women who were trying to get into the back room, and Remus noticed that not one of the curses from the women had hit Peter. Weird, Remus thought. He didn’t have an awful lot of time to consider the situation, because seconds later, a hoard of death eaters stormed the building.  
Maybe one of them had let something slip to the wrong person… No, Remus realised. There’s a spy. There’s a fucking spy.

Suddenly, all of The Order members were duelling at least two death eaters at once. Remus knew that Moody would call it soon, but he realised that there were at least twenty death eaters between the back room, where five of the members were situated, and the exit to the building. Remus heard Dumbledore’s voice echo in his mind. You do not save yourself. You do not leave until everyone is out of there, unless someone is dead. It was too much, Remus thought. Even Alice and Gideon, who had collected a decent amount of information, were using their wand arm to defend themselves, holding piles of parchment in the other. They needed to get Lily, Emmeline, Hestia, Peter and Fabian out of there, but they were trapped in a corner. As soon as Emmeline stuck her head out of the door she had to duck under a killing curse immediately. Moody’s voice boomed throughout the warehouse. “LET’S GO! NOW!”  
“MOODY!” Sirius yelled at him. He pointed at the back room.  
“CLEAR A PATH, NOW. GO!”  
Alice tucked all of the information she had taken in her jacket and joined Gideon, cursing death eaters out of the way, trying to create a clear path for the girls. Marlene and Dorcas stood back, on either side of the warehouse, cursing death eaters from behind when they tried to block the path. Fabian stood in front of the girls, leading them out through the warehouse, Peter defending from behind. None of the spells hit him either, Remus noticed, before he heard Sirius yell “REMUS!” and he was reminded that it was not the time.  
Spells started flying behind the girls. Peter had ducked and run. Bloody coward, Remus thought. Oh, a killing spell. Not the time. Sirius and Remus bolted behind the girls, and started walking backwards towards the exit, blocking every spell that came close to them. James, Frank and Caradoc were close to the exit, where death eaters were clumping up to prevent the others escaping, and they started violently cursing every death eater in the way. Wilkes was in the centre of the clump, motivating Frank and Caradoc especially to curse everyone out of the way so that they could get to him. Moody and Edgar were at the exit, ready to fight off the death eaters once the others had begun running.  
“WHERE THE BLOODY HELL IS PETTIGREW?!” Shouted Moody.“HE RAN!” Responded Fabian from next to Sirius and Remus.  
“BLOODY HELL!” Moody yelled.  
They were almost at the exit. James, Frank and Caradoc had cleared the way for them to get through, but they had very little time. “RUN!” Screamed Remus, and the girls bolted towards the door, taking Alice and Gideon with them. Dorcas screamed, she had been hit with the same curse that Lily had been hit with in that battle, all those months ago. Fabian ran out and picked her up, running out the door with Marlene on his tail. Finally, Sirius, Remus, James, Frank and Caradoc were at the exit. “NOW!” Screamed James, and they all threw curses at the death eaters closest to them. They turned and ran out the door. They started running through the field, and heard Moody shout and Edgar scream an unfamiliar spell. They heard the door slam shut, and there was banging inside from death eaters trying to get out.   
Remus looked behind him and saw Moody and Edgar running, Moody’s hand covering his eye. Oh, dear.

They all reached the apparition point, and from the distance they saw the death eaters leaving the building.   
“GO! IT COULD ONLY HOLD FOR A WHILE! APPARATE! NOW!” Edgar shouted. There were fifteen distinct cracks, and suddenly they were back in The Order’s warehouse.  
“Any injuries?” Dumbledore asked. He looked over and saw Dorcas. “Oh, could someone place Miss Meadowes on a bed? Poppy will be here momentarily.” The Prewetts heaved Dorcas onto a bed, and Marlene stayed by her side.  
“Alright. Peter arrived here a while ago.”  
“Bloody fucking hell! What’s wrong with him?! Why did he leave?!” Shouted Marlene.  
“Marlene, please calm down. Peter ran because he wanted to save himself. Now, if you would all stop growling, that is a very natural thing happen, especially one’s first time in battle. However, as per my warning, he will not be allowed on the field again.”   
Marlene muttered “Good,” under her breath and received a warning glance from Dumbledore.  
“Anyway, Alice, Gideon, Lily, Hestia and Emmeline, I can see that you are all holding parchment, which is a good sign.”  
They went place their parchment on the table, when Lily said “I’m sorry, Professor, they’re a bit ripped-“  
Dumbledore cut her off. “Not to worry, Ms Evans, as I said before.” He waved his wand and the parchment came back together. “See? Easily fixed.”

Moody went over the events of the raid, and Peter didn’t come off very well in the recount. Coward, Remus thought. Peter’s one of his best friends, definitely, but that was cowardly all the same. Not even one spell hit him anyway!  
Dumbledore said that they should all go home and get some rest, and they would go over the parchment together. He and McGonagall would be deciphering the coded pieces of parchment, and as a group they would sort through the other pieces. Someone suggested that they all hang out, but Remus just wanted to be alone with Sirius that night. Lily was tired, fighting while pregnant wasn’t easy, and the other two couples were happy to spend the night alone. Remus and Sirius apparated back to their building. They’re far too tired to walk. James and Lily went home, too. They all had food in the fridge and it didn’t seem like they’d need to leave their apartment until ten tomorrow, when they’d be heading back to the warehouse. The warehouse, Remus thought. He spent more time there than he did at his own home.

————————————————————————

As soon as Sirius and Remus stumbled into the door, they fell onto the couch, bones aching and heads pounding from the crashed of spells flying past their ears.  
“Can we…” Sirius sounded sad, and trailed off.  
“What is it Pads?” Remus asked softly.  
“Can we, just… cuddle?” Sirius sounded nervous.  
“Yeah, baby, ‘course we can. C’mere,” Remus pulled Sirius into his arms and let the smaller boy’s head settle onto his chest.  
“I don’t know what to do anymore,” Sirius admitted quietly.“What do you mean?”  
“I know it’s not your fault, but you’re going back to the pack in a few days, and I know there’s something going on that you can’t tell me about. Something that isn’t about The Order.”Damn it, Remus thought. Sirius knew him too well. “I wish I could tell you Pads, I honestly do, but I can’t. I’m sorry.” And Remus really was.“Can I ask one thing?” Remus nodded. “Are you cheating on me with a werewolf you met there?”  
“God, Pads, no. Never. You’re my life. I would never cheat on you.” Remus held him tight. “I promise.”  
Sirius nodded into Remus’ chest. “Okay. Okay.”  
They spoke about the battle, and how angry they were at Peter for leaving the girls and Fabian in danger, and slowly, the drifted off to sleep.

————————————————————————

Another wedding was approaching. Sirius and Remus had just arrived at Potter Estate, and Sirius was catching up with his adoptive parents. Remus rushed up to the guest room where Lily was getting ready to help fuss over her; Man of honour, and all. He knocked on the door of the guest room and it was opened by Alice, who moved aside so that he could enter. Dorcas was in the middle of doing Lily’s hair, the muggle way, with straighteners and curling irons. Marlene was ironing her dress with magic. They both looked more stressed than Lily herself.  
Lily looked ethereal. She was glowing. Alice had done her makeup, and Lily still had her freckles shining through. Her hair was wavy, framing her face, and although she was wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants, she still looked gorgeous. Remus stood behind her so that she could see him in the mirror.“Rem!” She cried and jumped up to hug him.  
“LILY!” Dorcas yelled. “I am holding VERY hot tongs. NO SUDDEN MOVEMENTS!”  
Lily giggled into Remus’ shoulder, before pulling away with a straight face. “Sorry, Dorcas,” she smiled as she sat down.  
Dorcas rolled her eyes and resumed doing Lily’s hair.  
“How you feeling, Lils?” Remus asked, pulling up a seat next to her. Alice had started doing Marlene’s makeup.“Fucking fantastic. I get to marry James,” she shook her head. “God, NEVER thought I’d say that.” Remus laughed. “And I’m having a baby! I’m so excited Rem, a baby! They’re so small, and cute, and vulnerable, and fragile…” she started to look worried.“Lily?” Remus asked nervously.  
“What if I’m not a good mum?” She whimpered.  
Remus smiled and sighed. “Lils, you’ve been mothering us for years. You’re the sassiest, kindest, most understanding person I’ve ever met. That baby is so lucky to have you as a mother.” Remus said genuinely.  
She looked at him, tears in her eyes. “You think so?”  
He nodded. “I definitely think so. James, who could have had any girl at Hogwarts, and trust me, he got plenty of offers, chose you. He chose you in first year and had been pinning after you since then. Not just because you’re pretty, but because you’re also smart, and kind, and if I was straight Lily, I would want no one else except you.”  
Lily beamed. “I love you, Remus.” She shed a tear.  
“I love you too, Lily. But no crying! You’ll ruin the makeup!”  
“Nah, she won’t. I knew this would happen. Charmed it. It’s waterproof.” Alice piped up from her position on the bed doing Marlene’s makeup.

Half an hour later, the bridesmaids had done their makeup, and Remus had entertained Lily by letting Alice put a barely noticeable amount on him, too. A wedding present, he said. You lucky fucker.  
“Can you girls go down to the boys? Remus, you’re walking up with Sirius, Alice, you’re with Frank, Dorcas, you’re with Marlene, and I’m still pissed at Peter, so he can come up last and hold my train.” They laughed, guiltily.  
They all murmured variations of “Good luck, Lils,” as they hugged her and went downstairs.   
“Time for the dress?” Remus asked.“Yeah. Time for the dress.” Lily beamed at him.  
Remus helped Lily step into her dress, and did up the ties at the back. He put her veil on her hair, a veil that Mrs Potter wore on her wedding day, and fastened earrings into her ears.“Close your eyes,” he said happily. She did as she was asked. Remus stepped behind her and draped a small silver chain. Around her neck, fastening it at the back. “Okay, open.”  
She stepped in front of the mirror to look at the necklace. It was a tiny locket, and when she opened it, one side of it had a picture of James, as Prongs, and the other a picture of her patronus. A doe.   
“Remus…” she shed a tear. “This is so beautiful.”“Say the patronus charm,” he smiled.  
“Expecto Patronum,” she whispered, looking at the locket. A doe burst out of the necklace and bound out the window. She stared at it in awe. “Where’s it going?” She asked.  
“To James. It tells him you love him, and then disappears,” Remus smiled and hugged her from behind.  
She turned around and kissed him straight on the mouth. She pulled back and they both laughed. “What was that for?” Remus chuckled.  
“Wanted to do that in fourth year. About to get married. It wasn’t romantic, just so you know, I just wanted to tell you I love you so much and I think that covers it,” she beamed.  
“Yeah Lils, I think it does.”  
She stepped back. “So?” she gestured to her dress.  
Remus smiled. “You look beautiful.”  
She smiled, a genuine Lily Evans smile. Remus use’n’t to see then very often, but then she started going out with James. “I think,” Remus checked his watch, “It’s time to get you married.” He held out his arm and she took it, making their way carefully down the stairs of the Potter Mansion, and sneaking to the back of the marquee where the other members of the bridal party were waiting.

“Boys, face the front. You’re not allowed to see her. Girls, how did I do?”  
The bridesmaids ‘ooo’d and ‘ahh’d at Lily. “What’s the locket?” Marlene whispered.   
“Remus got it for me.” She opened it up. “Actually, watch this.” She lifted the locked close to her lips and whispered the patronus charm, and a doe came bursting out of the locket, galloping down the aisle, and telling James that she loved him.  
“Holy fuck! That’s sick, Rem.” Marlene ciommented.  
“Ah, even on my wedding day, ‘holy fuck’ comes out of your mouth at the end of the aisle,” Lily smirked at Marlene, who just rolled her eyes in response.   
Then, the music started playing. “Sirius and Remus! Go!” Alice nudged them forward, and. They linked arms and beamed at each other the entire way down the aisle. I want this to be us next time, Remus thought. This is perfect. They reached the podium and separated to opposite sides. Remus watched Alice and Frank smile all the way down. Unfair, Remus thought. They just did this! Marlene and Dorcas followed, looking adoringly at each other the entire time. Then the music changed, and Lily appeared at the end of the aisle, Peter holding the train of her dress. Remus looked over at James and saw tears in his eyes, and he whispered “She’s so beautiful,” to Remus. That, she was.

The vows proceeded without a hitch, and soon enough they were man and wife… and child, Remus realised. A family, right next to him. It was crazy, Remus thought, how even in the middle of a war, there could be moments like this. When it was over, this would be life. Remus needed to go to the pack. He needed to, so that life could be like this. Even though he had to see Sebastian, when Sebastian was acting the way he was… it was worth it, so that this could end. 

That night, Sirius and Remus stayed in Sirius’ old room. Marlene and Dorcas stayed in James’, and Alice and Frank stayed in the other spare. Peter made an excuse to go home, and James and Lily were spending the night in a cottage in the local town. No one wants to be next to a couple on their wedding night. Remus was glad that James and Lily agreed.

Tomorrow, Remus would be going back to the pack. He would be spending day and night with Sebastian for a week, and he could tell Sirius. But he was going to approach the subject of Voldemort this time… maybe it would be over sooner than he thought. 

He hoped it would be over sooner than he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!!!
> 
> Anyway, next chapter will be Remus with the werewolves AND the order discussing a spy!
> 
> Lots of pregnant Lily, too!


	17. The Pack, Babies, a Prophecy and a... Spy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus is a mess, Sirius is confused, and Lily knows everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is SO many punctuation mistakes. I'll go back and edit it, but my laptop was fucking up. Next chapter will be better :)
> 
> I LOVE LILY'S POV! I don't write it much, because it always has to be perfect.  
> Enjoy! This is a busy chapter, so good luck :)

“Remus!” Sebastian called, running up to him as he walked towards the pack.  
“Hey, Seb!” Remus said, in the friendliest tone he could muster.

You see, ever since Remus had started coming to stay with the wolves, Sebastian had been flirting with him. More and more, actually, each time Remus went. Last time Remus was here he would have bet galleons on Sebastian planning to kiss him. The problem with this was that Remus had Sirius, and he felt incredibly guilty every time that he came back home. He knew, deep down, that he wasn’t doing anything wrong. He wasn’t flirting back, he wasn’t leading Sebastian on (at least in human form. Hopefully not in wolf form, either.), he wasn’t keeping Seb under any pretence that he had a chance with Remus and he definitely wasn’t cheating on Sirius. It still felt wrong to sleep in the same room as his ex-boyfriend for a week a month. It felt horribly, horribly wrong.  
He knew, however, that of Suzanna sensed that something was off, that his allegiances had in any way shifted, he would be out of the pack quicker than a wolf could change. So he was as friendly, and as genuine, as he could be, and he put down his things in Sebastian’s cabin and went about life with the pack.

—————————————————————

SIRIUS

While Remus was gone, Sirius often found himself staying at James and Lily’s. He wasn’t some kind of precious baby who couldn’t stay in a flat alone, he had lived in Grimmauld Place for sixteen years, after all, but during the war the nightmares were getting worse, and when he didn’t agree to stay at James and Lily’s, Marlene and Dorcas would ask him to stay at their’s, and if he denied them, Alice and Frank would invite him over, and if he denied all three, one of the couples would turn up and stay in his spare room anyway. For a few moons he found himself arguing, telling them he didn’t need them there, but once he started sleeping as Padfoot, because that was the only way that the nightmares lessened, he pushed aside his pride and accepted their help. He felt guilty, but he was still taking the potion Madam Pomfrey gave him at Hogwarts, and he found that being alone made him want to take more. That night, he was in James and Lily’s lounge room, reading a motorcycle magazine mindlessly while the three of them discussed names for the baby.

“How about Fleamont?” James suggested.  
Sirius laughed. “Look, Prongs, I love dad, you know that, but the poor kid should not grow up in this century with a name like Fleamont.”  
James looked outraged and turned to Lily for support. She just shrugged. “He kind of has a point, James.”  
James huffed.  
“What about Anna, for a girl?” Lily suggested.  
“Too basic,” James and Sirius responded in unison.  
“Ugh!” Lily threw her hands up. “Okay, I’ve got two for a girl. You’ve got to like one of them, surely!”  
“Out with it, Evans,” Sirius smiled.“Larissa?” The boys looked confused.  
“Firstly, it’s pretty, secondly, Sirius,” she looked over at him, “it’s the fifth moon of Neptune. Though you might like that,” she smiled.  
Sirius utterly glowed as he beamed at Lily. “I love it. Larissa,” he said softly, imagining a little baby with a ‘space name’ sleeping in his arms.  
They both turned to James, who was smiling gently while looking back and forth between his wife and brother. “Rissa for short?” He suggested.  
“Yeah,” Lily sat on his lap. “Rissa for short.”  
They all smiled at each other for a while, all thinking about the tiny baby girl that could be in their arms in less than five months.  
“Lils, what was the other name? This is perfect, but what was the other?” James asked, wrapping his hands around her waist.  
“Claudia,” she smiled. “It means lame-“ Sirius snickered, “but hear me out! She rebelled against the Romans, she was headstrong, you know?”  
Sirius smiled. “Yeah, I get that.”  
James looked up at her. “Baby number two?”  
She giggled. “Larissa and Claudia. Pretty, I think.”  
“Yeah, I think they’re pretty, too.” Sirius said quietly.  
“Well!” James jumped up. “Now that’s sorted, what are we naming the sprog if it’s a boy?”  
“James, I really wish you’d stop calling THEM it,” Lily sighed.  
He and Sirius looked at her guiltily. She rolled her eyes.  
“I’ve got a couple of ideas,” James said excitedly. “But what are yours first? Both of yours?”  
“I like Severus, personally,” Sirius said with a completely straight face.  
Lily and James tried desperately not to, but they burst out laughing.  
“Okay, okay. In all siriusness,” Sirius winked, and the other two groaned, “I want to hear Lily’s first.”  
She cocked her head, but shrugged her shoulders and continued. “I like Liam, Sebastian-“ she cut off. “Shit, sorry, Sirius.”  
He waved her off. “Not like we ever have to hear about him again,” he smiled. He noticed that Lily looked very, very. Worried. “What is it?”  
Her face returned to it’s normal state. “Oh, nothing. Anyway, Liam and Charlie. I like those.” James nodded in approval. “Sirius? What are yours?”  
“It’s actually Remus’. He came up with it the other night, but he’s not here, and I think it’s perfect.”  
“Well?!” James said impatiently. “What is it?!”  
Sirius smiled. “Harry.”  
James’ face lit up, and Lily smiled and grabbed his hand. They looked at each other, communicating telepathically the way that only married people can, and they both nodded, turning to look at Sirius. In unison, they said, “It’s perfect.”

——————————————————————

LILY

They were talking about baby names, and she had fucked up. She suggested Sebastian. This wouldn’t have been a big deal, because he was Remus’ ex from years ago, and they hadn’t spoken since. Except, they had.

Lily knew more than anyone ever thought she did. She knew that there was a spy in the order. She was one hundred percent sure of it, and she’d collected enough evidence that she could prove it, too. She knew that Alice was pregnant, about as far along as Lily was herself, but Alice didn’t want to tell anyone, because part of her was ignoring it, scared to raise a baby in the middle of a war. She knew that there was a plot to kill the Prewett twins. She told Dumbledore, and he agreed, but instructed her not to tell anyone else. She knew that the death eaters were out to get Dumbledore, and that’s why he never came on missions, even though he was the most able wizard out of the entire order. She knew that Dumbledore was gay. That, she didn’t need evidence for. She walked up and asked him herself, one night when she was particularly tired, and he told her that he was. She promised not to tell anyone, and well, that was that. She suspected that he had dated Grindelwald, but she had no evidence, and let herself push it away until this was over and she could figure it out. She knew that Regulus had little regard for his life, and although he could not take it, sometimes he let curses hit him just so that he could feel something. She knew that something was up with Peter. She suspected he was more scared than he let on. She knew that Caradoc liked Sirius, and was doing his best not to step on Remus’ toes. She knew that Dorcas and Marlene wanted to run away together, but couldn’t. She knew that something was going to happen to her, and James, and the baby. She always had been good at Divination. She knew that she was scared, but could never show it, except in the early hours of the morning when she was wrapped in James’ arms. She knew that he was scared, for the baby, for her, for Sirius.  
But the hardest thing she knew, the hardest thing she was keeping to herself, is where Remus was. Dumbledore had told her, after she promised that she wouldn’t tell anyone, even on her death bed. He told her so that if something happened to him, someone knew where Remus was. Dumbledore had told her what he was doing, how to get to him… and who he was with. She hated that Remus had to go there. She hated that he would be feeling guilty every moment that he was away, and she hated that he had to live a lie with the only person he’s ever truly loved. But what she hated the most, the most out of everything, is that when Sirius found out he, and probably James too, would think that Remus was the spy.

—————————————————————

REMUS

It was the morning after the full, and Remus was healing the pack’s wounds with magic. Suzanna had grown partial to this, because it meant that her pack was able to protect themselves, even during the days after the moon.  
Later that day, Suzanna was peacefully resting on a chair of rocks out by the fire. Now or never, Remus thought. Now or never.  
He approached her. “Suzanna?”  
She opened her eyes. “Remus, have a seat.” She gestured to the log in front of her.  
He sat down. “You know why I’m here, I assume,” he stated. He knew that she wasn’t dumb. He needed to make sure that she knew he didn’t think that she was.  
“Yes, child, I do.” She smiled warmly. Remus was confused. He thought she would tell him to fuck off right away.  
“Do you mind, if I begin to explain?” He asked respectfully.  
“Usually, dear, I would say yes. I would tell you to go away, go back home, stop disrespecting my pack…” Remus freaked out. “But you have been loyal, you have been loyal for months now. You have abided by our customs, and not complained even once. You have helped our young one learn to write better, you have told stories to the ones here who have been starved for entertainment. You have not used magic, even when it would have made things so much easier, and you have spoken to me with nothing but respect, while still treating me as if I am human. You have lived, for years, transforming alone. You have torn yourself to shreds and gotten up every morning and gone back to school. I would like to tell you to leave…” she trailed off.  
“I’m sorry, I-“ she held her hand up to silence him.  
“I would like to tell you to leave, but I owe it to you to listen. I will hear what you have to say. If it is of interest to me, I will not disregard it. I will consider it. That I will promise you.”  
Remus smiled softly. “Thank you, Suzanna.”  
“Well,” she said simply, “What do you have to say?”

Here goes, Rems thought, here goes.  
“I know that you are aware that there is a war raging all through the United Kingdom. I do not want to tell you things that you already know, and I do not want to waste your time. Please tell me if I am repeating things you have knowledge on, unless you would like to hear them again. Is that okay with you?”  
Suzanna nodded. “Yes, child. Continue.”  
“Voldemort, or You-Know-Who, or-“  
“His name is Voldemort. We should all get used to it.” Suzanna sighed.  
“I agree. I do. He plans to recruit werewolves from all over to join his army. He wants his large battles to take place on full moons, so that the wolves are at their most vicious. Some packs have not realised this, but he plans to Imperio the werewolves, so that they are under his control.” Remus had never seen Suzanna look genuinely offended, until right now. “It’s horrible. I agree. He thinks his plan to be quite brilliant, training werewolves like his own private packs of dogs.” He took a break to allow Suzanna to process this information, or, if she wanted to, respond.  
“Why would any pack agree to that?” Suzanna asked. Fair question, Remus thought.  
“Some packs don’t know about all of his plans, but what he had told them, all of them, is that he plans to over throw the Ministry-“  
“Well, I wouldn’t object to that,” Suzanna muttered.  
“I agree. But he has promised that once the Ministry has been overthrown they will have power like never before. They will all carry wands, and not only live in society, but rule it. He had promised that they will be free to roam the cities, the countryside, wherever they choose to go, during the full moon. He will be banning the wolfsbane potion, he had told them, so that they can be free during the moons.”  
Suzanna looked even more shocked than before. “I don’t understand, why would he do this?”  
Remus shook his head. “He’s doing this because he needs strength in his army, strength that wizards do not have. He needs physical strength, bodies that the crutiatus curse does not weaken, but make them even stronger.”  
“Oh.” Suzanna said quietly. “Is that it?”  
Remus sighed. “Unfortunately, there’s one more thing.” She shook her head, before gesturing for him to continue. “He had promised that once he rules Wizarding society, he will allow werewolves to kill, bite, turn or eat any muggle-“ she gasped, “muggle-born-“ she almost yelped, “and half-blood, that they wish to.”  
Suzanna exclaimed “No! Surely not!”  
Remus nodded his head sadly. “The reason that I am righting in this war is not because I want the ministry to remain intact. It’s not because I want the rules to stay the same. It’s not even because. My friends are fighting too. It’s because the society that Voldemort plans to create is so much more dangerous than the one we are currently in. In his society, we become monsters, true monsters. Not only will other people call us monsters, like they do now, but we will deserve the name.”  
“Oh, god,” Suzanna sighed. “Thank you for waiting to tell me. I wouldn’t have listened. But I’m glad that I did.”  
“One more thing,” Remus added. “I completely understand if you say no straight away, and I wouldn’t ever ask if I didn’t think it would be safe. Dumbledore has offered of all the kids in the pack to go to Hogwarts, even if they come back and transform with you, or spend weekends with you, and holidays. I completely understand if you’re against it. It’s just an offer.”  
Suzanna looked up at him, and for a moment he thought that she was going to yell at him. “Thank you, Remus. If you had offered that to me before I heard about the war, I would have been outraged. But, maybe being a werewolf could be a strength that these children will never understand if they aren’t exposed to society.” She looked deep in thought.  
“Take as much time as you need. To decide about school, about helping us, about all of it. Thank you for hearing me out, Suzanna.” Remus got up to leave before she said “Wait. Sit back down.” Remus did as he was told. “I don’t need time. I have been somewhat of a mother to all of these children, some since they were born, others since they were bitten, and others since they had lived with this long enough that they felt alone. I have denied them magic, and I don’t regret that, not at all, but it should be up to them. I have taught them, their whole lives, that they are independent, and can make their own decisions.” Remus smiled at her.  
“The war. We’ll help. It’s not a question. Some things need to me done, and some sacrifices need to be made. When it comes to protecting my own kind, I will stop at nothing to do so, even if it does require mixing with a society that has hurt me.”  
“I’m glad to hear that,” Remus responded.  
“Could I ask, this group, this ‘Order of the Phoenix’, are they accepting?”  
He nodded. “Most of them know about me and don’t treat me any differently. They’re mostly just interested in how all works.”  
She sighed. “Well. That’s settled, we’ll do anything we can. One one condition.”  
Remus nodded. “Anything.”  
“If the children were to attend school I would need you to have them back on weekends, even though that isn’t the usual policy. And if you. Are offering to take them on, you will need to invit e Rose.”  
Remus dropped his jaw. “Is she a witch, or-“  
Suzanna interrupted. “No, she is not a witch. But she would enjoy learning theory, and I know that she can do potions. It’s all or nothing, Remus,” Suzanna said finally.  
Dumbledore’s words echoed in Remus’ mind. Do anything you can to get them on our side. If that involves offering them a place at Hogwarts, do it, Dumbledore had said. This is anything, so he would do it.  
“Deal. If she wishes to study magic she will be able to do so at Hogwarts.”  
Suzanna gave him a real, wide, genuine smile. “Would you ask them yourself?”  
Remus smiled back at her. “I’d be delighted.”

Half an hour later, all of the children aged ten to seventeen had agreed to go to Hogwarts, including Rose, and although Remus had explained. She could not do magic, she didn’t care. She wanted to learn it, and that was enough. They would be starting September first, and they had been instructed not to tell anyone that they were werewolves, strictly no one, until the war was over. If they couldn’t promise that, they wouldn’t be allowed to come. They all eventually agreed, and he would be taking them to Diagon Alley with Suzanna and Ben to get their supplies in a weeks time, using money from the Hogwarts scholarship vault.

———————————————————————

A few days later, Remus packed up to leave the pack. He said goodbye to the children, promising to meet them in London soon, and he thanked Suzanna, who hugged him for the first time. Sebastian walked him up the hill. “You did well, Rem,” he smiled.  
STOP FLIRTING WITH ME! Remus thought aggressively. Instead, he smiled back, saying “Yeah, I guess I kind of did.”  
They had reached the top of the hill, and Remus had ducked down to tie his shoelace, and when he stood back up Sebastian grabbed his face and went to kiss him. Remus pulled away before their lips touched.  
“Seb!” Remus gasped. “What are. You doing?!”  
Sebastian smiled and grabbed Remus’ hands. “I know you feel it too, the connection.”  
Remus shook his head. “There’ll always be a connection, Sebastian! But I’m with Sirius! I love him, and we’re going to get married as soon as this war is over!”  
Sebastian sighed. “Yeah, yeah. Watch him do what he did to you last time. People don’t change, Remus. Thought you’d’ve learnt that by now.” Sebastian frowned and stomped down the hill, calling “See you next month!” Over his shoulder and he stalked away.

———————————————————————

SIRIUS

“REMUS!” Sirius yelled as Remus walked through the door, running and jumping on his boyfriend, smothering him with kisses.  
Remus laughed. “I missed you too, Pads,” he said, kissing Sirius back. “Let me put my shit down, would you?”  
Sirius told Remus how James and Lily were going to name the baby Larissa or, get this… Harry!”  
Sirius saw Remus beam. “I love it! Thank you!”  
They both lay down on the bed. “I need to sleep, Pads, it’s been a long week,” Remus sighed.  
“Well, I’m. Sorry to inform you, but we need to be in the warehouse in fifteen minutes.”  
Remus groaned and sat up. “Fine. I’ll change.”“Mmm, yes please,” Sirius smirked as he lay down to watch Remus undress.  
Remus rolled his eyes.  
Something was up, Sirius could tell. Weird, he thought. Super weird.

———————————————————————

Fifteen minutes later, the whole group was at the warehouse. Marlene was glaring at Peter, and Dorcas was glaring at Marlene. Dumbledore looked tired, and Moody was sat down, a patch over his right eye. They all took seats on the couches in front of them. Sirius sat on Remus’ lap.  
“Alright. I know that you all would much rather be probably anywhere else, but we have work to do.” Alice raised her hand. “Yes, Alice?”  
“Can I say something?”  
Dumbledore nodded. “Go ahead.”  
“Uh, well… Frank?” She looked at her husband, hoping he’d finish her sentence.  
He stood up next to her. “Alice is pregnant. It’s not mine.” Everyone gasped. He laughed. “Just kidding. It’s mine. Alice is still pregnant, thought.”They all whooped, except Lily, who smirked and whispered “Knew it.”  
“How far along are you?” Asked Dorcas.  
“About four months. Almost five,” Alice sighed. “I’m only saying this because I think I probably only have a month of active duty before I’ll have to stop.”  
Lily raised her hand. “Um, unfortunately, I’ll have to stop in a month, too.”  
Sirius raised his hand. “Me too. We think it’s a girl,” Sirius smiled lovingly at Remus, who burst out laughing. The others followed suit.  
“I’m very happy for you, Alice,” Dumbledore smiled. “You too, Sirius,” his eyes twinkled.  
“Anyway!” Moody shouted as he stood up. “We have shit to do!”  
They all sighed, and murmured their agreement.  
McGonagall appeared, seemingly out of thin air, with a large stack of parchment.  
“Hello, children. Glad to see you all. Congratulations, Lily, Alice, Sirius,” she said with a straight face. “Albus, Moody and I have spent the past week decoding these attack plans, and we’ve finally cracked them, and we now have clear copies of the death eater’s plans.”  
Peter raised his hand, surprisingly. “Won’t they notice that they’re gone, and change their plans?”  
McGonagall looked at him, her expression cold, as she answered, “Well, dear Lily thought the same thing. While Lily and Emmeline were collecting the parchment, Lily asked Hestia to duplicate all but one piece. So the death eaters probably think that we just look that one plan, and left the coded ones for them. Their plans shouldn’t change if they are as…”  
“Thick?” James suggested.  
“Sure. Their plans shouldn’t change if they are as ‘thick’ as they have demonstrated that they are.” McGonagall finished.

Dumbledore kept talking, but Sirius had zoned out. Was anyone going to mention the fact that there was a spy? Most likely in this very room? Caradoc and the Prewetts seemed to have zoned out as well. Sirius couldn’t be the only one thinking about this. Sod it, he thought. Someone has to ask.  
Sirius waited for a break in Dumbledore’s speech, before he interrupted. “Sir?”  
Dumbledore nodded. “Yes, Sirius?”  
“Are we going to talk about the fact that someone in here betrayed The Order, or are we going to ignore it and let it happen again?”  
Dumbledore sighed. “Well. I guess I should have known it would come up eventually.”  
“So?” Asked Remus impatiently.  
“So, I would like to believe that it is a possibility that someone in this room accidentally let something slip to the wrong person, or that the wrong person overheard a discussion about the raid. However it is a possibility that someone is feeding information to the opposite side. I do not believe this to be the case, but it is certainly a possibility. I advise you to trust no one. You may trust your partner, that, I understand, but I hope you do not share any privileged information that only you know to anyone else in the group. If you are going on a mission without your partner, I ask you, please, not to tell them the confidential details. I know that this places strain on your relationships, but I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t know what was at stake. Understood?”  
They all nodded and chorused “Understood.”  
“Well, I think that we should go through this parchment.” McGonagall finished.

———————————————————————

LILY

They went through the parchment for hours, making notes, and drawing diagrams, disagreeing about some theories, and agreeing on others.  
Lily was nervous. Dumbledore had just told them all to not share information with their partners, but that didn’t mean Sirius would have any problem doubting Remus when he found out about Sebastian. And he would find out, Lily knew that he would, it was just painful that she had to watch it unfold.

There were many attack plans that were very valuable to the Order, but there was a piece of parchment that Dumbledore hadn’t shown the rest of the group. Lily had been eyeing it suspiciously for hours.  
“Lily? James? Could you join me over here for a moment?” Dumbledore requested. James and Lily looked at each other, but eventually shrugged their shoulders and followed Dumbledore into the meeting room.  
“I’m afraid we have a… problem, of sorts,” Dumbledore frowned. Lily had never heard him sound genuinely worried.  
“What happened?” James asked anxiously.“Well, that’s just the thing, nothing has happened, yet. This is more about what will happen, or what is said to happen, at least.” Dumbledore responded. James still looked confused.  
“Um, Professor, could you please elaborate?” Requested Lily.  
“Yes, I can,” Dumbledore sighed. “Well. I was interviewing a new Divination teacher at Hogwarts in a room above the Hogs Head. I requested that she predict something for me, about anything, even the weather tomorrow. I didn’t know what I would hear…” He trailed off.  
James and Lily looked at each other anxiously. “What is it?” James asked nervously.  
Dumbledore sighed. “I’ll read it for you. It will make more sense.”  
“Okay?” Lily answered nervously.  
Dumbledore cleared his throat and began reading:“The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches, born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies. And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not, and either must die at the hand of the other because neither can live while the other survives. The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies…” Dumbledore trailed off, looking shaken up. “Well. That’s the prophecy. Do you understand why I am concerned?”  
Lily gave a small nod but James still looked perplexed.  
Dumbledore gave James a small smile and explained. “You and Lily have defied Voldemort three times, as it says in the prophecy. When is your child’s due date?”  
“31st of July,” Lily whimpered.Dumbledore faced James. “Born as the seventh month dies. Do you understand now?”  
James’ face turned white. “Oh my god.”  
“It’s just divination though, right?” Lily asked anxiously.  
“I’m not even sure that you believe that yourself, Ms Evans,” Dumbledore pointed out.  
“So…” James sighed. “What exactly do we do?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked that chapter. It was a longer one, but I think it was needed.  
> Update, my girlfriend and I had a fight, but now we're so fucking happy!  
> Love you all,  
> Gabs x


	18. Diagon Alley - Remus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pack goes to Diagon Alley, and we see a new side of Sebastian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might be able to get another chapter up today!  
> I liked this chapter, it was simple and easy to write, and I needed something light to write today.  
> Enjoy!

Ever since Remus had walked into Sirius and James discussing the likelihood that their spouses were spies, Remus had been expertly avoiding his boyfriend, and Lily had been expertly avoiding James. It had been almost five days when there was a knock at the door of Remus and Sirius’ apartment, which Remus and Lily were currently inhabiting. Sirius and James were living next door, in Lily and James’ place, and, if Remus did say so himself, neither Lily nor he had no desire to speak to their spouses and were planning to exile them indefinitely. Nevertheless, a knock came to the door. Lily and Remus both stood up.“What if it’s Sirius?!” Remus whispered.“Well, what if it’s James?!” Lily argued. She sighed. “Fine. Let’s just charm the door so we can see. If it’s James, you take it, and if it’s Sirius then I will.” Remus nodded. “Okay then,” Lily muttered while charming the door transparent. Remus saw Sirius standing outside, looking nervous, and like he hadn’t slept in weeks.  
Remus turned on his heel and walked around the corner. He considered sulking in his room, but he wanted to hear what Sirius had to say. He heard Lily open the door.  
“What on earth do you want?” She said coldly.  
“I want to see Remus.”  
Remus could almost hear Lily rolling her eyes at that. “Yeah, no. Why would you want to, anyway? He’s the spy, right?” Her voice was cruel and sarcastic.  
“No,” Sirius said in desperation, “That was stupid. I wasn’t thinking. It’s Remus, my Remus, he would never be a spy!”  
Lily sighed. “But he’s a werewolf, Sirius! Wasn’t that your justification?”  
“I was stupid, okay? I was stupid. We were stupid,” Sirius pleaded, referring to James.  
“That isn’t an excuse, Sirius.” Lily sounded tired. She was heavily pregnant and even Remus knew that she needed to be at home.  
“He doesn’t want to see you. Or anyone, actually. He thinks that if you could believe he was a werewolf at heart, then everyone else will, too.” Well, Remus thought. That part was true.  
“Fine,” Sirius said quietly. “If he doesn’t want to see me, fine. I’ll respect that. But James, James who I didn’t see cry ONCE at Hogwarts, hasn’t stopped sobbing since you left. He wants you and he wants his baby. He made a stupid mistake, okay? We both did. And if Remus doesn’t want to see me now, or ever again, I get that. But you’ve got a baby in you, a baby with James, and I know you want to go home right now. I can stay over there, or you can bring Remus with you if you don’t want me alone with him… But you’ve got to go home, Lily. I know that you know you need to.”  
Lily sighed. “One moment. Don’t go anywhere.” She slammed the door in his face.  
Lily came over to Remus. “He’s got a point, you know,” Remus smiled. “You need to go back. You’re tired, and you need him. I know you’ll never admit it, but you know that you do.”  
She frowned. “Sirius?”  
Remus sighed. “He should come back. I’ll give him hell, don’t worry, but he should come back.”  
Lily grabbed Remus’ hands. “You’re NOT evil, Remus. You’re the most trustworthy person that I know. Please don’t let yourself forget that.” He nodded. “Diagon Alley today, okay? Twelve o’clock, I’ll knock and we can go. Alright?”  
Remus smiled and nodded. “Yeah. Alright.”  
She pulled Remus into a tight hug. “I love you, Rem.”  
He kissed her on the cheek. “Love you too, Lils.”  
Remus watched as she went to the spare room and picked up her bag. She opened the door, Sirius still standing on the other side.  
“I’m going home. You’re staying here. But I swear to god Sirius, you hurt him one more time and I’ll send you straight back to Grimmauld. Got it?”  
Remus poked his head around the corner and saw Sirius nod. “Got it.” Lily pushed past him, and he quietly entered the flat.

A moment later, Remus was face to face with Sirius.  
“Remus-“ Sirius began.“I’m not a bad person, Sirius.” Remus cut him off.  
“God, no, I never thought you were-“  
Remus cut him off again. “And I am NOT the spy.” With that, he turned on his heel and entered their bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him. He got into bed, and tried to hold back tears. He knew he wasn’t doing anything wrong, but in less than two hours he would be in Diagon Alley with his ex-boyfriend. He pulled the covers up and let himself sob.  
A few minutes later, Remus heard the door open, and felt arms wrap around him. He wanted to protest, he wanted to fight, but there was a war, and this was the one that he loved, and frankly, he didn’t have the energy. He let himself drift off to sleep.

—————————————————————————

Lily knocked on his the flat door. Sirius got up to open it before Remus could stop him. “Lily?” Sirius said, confused.  
“Sirius.” She responded as a way of greeting. “Remus and I have to go to Diagon Alley.”  
Sirius looked back at Remus. “Why?” He asked.  
Remus sighed. “Pack stuff.”  
Sirius’ eyes widened as he looked back at Lily. “How do you know-“  
She held a hand up to silence him. “Before you ask, no, Remus didn’t tell me, Dumbledore did, before the first mission. He wanted someone to know where Remus was in case Dumbledore died or something,” she said nonchalantly.  
“But-“  
“Anyway,” Remus cut Sirius off, “We need to go. See you later.” Remus walked out the door and slammed it for good measure.

—————————————————————————

Lily and Remus decided to walk to Diagon Alley, after discussing that they both needed the air.   
“I have to say, Miss Evans, your pregnant waddle is getting quite impressive,” Remus smirked.  
Lily shot him a glare. “Shut it, Lupin.” They both chuckled.  
“So, Sebastian, hey?”   
Remus sighed. They’d spoken about Sebastian’s behaviour during the weeks Remus had been with the pack, and Lily had to keep reassuring Remus that none of it was his fault and he shouldn’t feel guilty for hiding it from Sirius. He had too, she reminded him. It wasn’t a choice.  
“Yeah. I’m just glad you’ll be there as…” he trailed off, unable to find the word.  
“A buffer?” She suggested.  
He smiled. “Yes! Exactly. A buffer.”  
“Yes, well, I’ll also make note of what he’s doing. I’m good at giving stern talking to’s at the moment-“  
Remus laughed as a form of interruption. “Lily, you’ve been good at giving stern talking to’s since first year,” he reminded her.  
She smiled. “Okay, fair. Well, I’m even better at it at the moment. I think it has something to do with the raging hormones violently rushing through my body, but, y’know, just a guess,” she smirked.  
He chuckled. “Mmm, that could be it. Maybe it’s having to yell instructions at people while killing curses are being thrown at you from all directions.”  
She looked deep in thought. “A mix of both?”  
He laughed. “Yeah, a mix of both.”

Half an hour later they arrived at Diagon Alley, which was in actual fact only fifteen minutes away. When Remus pointed this out, Lily huffed and blamed it on the ‘stupid baby’.  
“Won’t be so stupid when it’s lying in your arms with its big eyes and laughing.” Lily teared up. “Fuck Lils, did I say something?”  
She laughed while wiping away her tears. “No! Stupid hormones. That’s all,” she smiled. Then she muttered under her breath “stupid baby!”. Remus pretended not to hear.  
They waited outside Gringotts, the meeting place that they had decided on with Suzanna. Remus quickly found a place for Lily to sit down, because even though she would rather die than admit it, she was incredibly tired. Soon enough, Suzanna and a flock of children, aged sixteen to eleven, walked towards Remus.“Hello, Remus,” she said kindly. “Who’s this?” She said, gesturing to Lily.  
“This is Lily. She’s the one who helped me with transitioning ever since second year. Probably the nicest person that I know,” he added, smiling at the redhead.   
Lily went to get up to greet Suzanna, but Suzanna smiled, saying “No, dear, sit down. We’re still waiting on a few, and I know babies are hard on the body.”  
Lily sighed. “That’s one way to put it.” They smiled at each other. Bloody hell, Remus thought. It took him almost a year for Suzanna two trust him and he was bonding with Lily in less than a minute. Women, he thought, internally rolling his eyes.

Suzanna and Lily chatted, getting along swimmingly, for the next ten minutes, while Remus entertained the younger children by casting charms that left flying birds around them, and made glitter fall from the sky. He spoke to the older girls, who were incredibly nervous to be joining the school so late. “What do we say when people ask why we’re only coming now?” Cynthia asked, concerned.“And what do we do when people ask why we don’t know any magic?” A girl called Stephanie added.  
“And what about how far behind we’ll be in classes?” A young boy called Ely frowned.  
Remus smiled at all of them. “We’ll go over what you’ll say to people. Maybe we’ll say that you had muggle parents who didn’t want to tell you about Hogwarts, before an accident happened, that you don’t want to talk about, leaving you with extended family, who wanted you to learn magic. Being far behind in classes doesn’t matter, because you’re all incredibly clever, and I’m sure you’ll pick it up straight away. And, if you don’t, I’ll come to the pack some weekends and give you some lessons.”  
“Oh!” Lily joined it. “I’ll come and teach too.” She suddenly looked worriedly over at Suzanna. “If that’s okay, of course,” she added.Suzanna smiled. “Of course that’s okay, dear. You seem like a great teacher.”  
Ok, seriously, it took almost a YEAR for this woman to even address him directly and now she was letting a witch come to the pack to teach the children magic?! Lily Evans was unfairly charming. He must ask her how she does it, Remus thought.  
“See, guys?” Remus said, addressing the children again. “We’ll definitely help you. And guess what?”  
“What?” The children chorused.  
“Lily came top in the school for every single class. She’s the best witch our age in all of the United Kingdom!”  
The kids ooo’d and ahhh’d, leaving Lily blushing intensely.  
“So we’ll be okay? Like, they won’t bully us, or anything? And we’ll be able to catch up in classes?” A boy, who must be going into fourth year, asked.  
“What’s your name?” Lily asked the boy softly.  
“Hugh.” He answered.  
“Well, Hugh, you won’t be bullied, Remus and I will make sure of that. So will my husband. We were head boy and girl, so they listen to us,” she whispered, making the kids laugh. “And we’ll teach you whatever you need to know about magic, okay? Remus and I can come whenever you need, alright? I’m having a baby soon, so I might not be able to come, just for a little bit, later, but Remus is an amazing teacher, and he came second in every class, right after me.”  
The boy called Ely dropped his jaw. “So you’re a werewolf, and you’re still really smart?”  
Remus chuckled. “Just because you’re a werwolf, doesn’t mean you can’t be smart!” All of the children beamed at him.   
The girl called Stephanie quietly asked “So, what are the houses? Where will we be?”  
Remus smiled. “Professor Dumbledore, he’s the headmaster that offered you the places at school, is going to put some of you in Gryffindor, that’s where I was, and some of you in Hufflepuff. The Hufflepuffs are the nicest, but we were in Gryffindor, and it’s pretty great too.”  
“Where was Sebastian?” Cynthia asked.  
Lily smiled, and answered for Remus. “He was in Ravenclaw. They’re usually a lot ahead in magic training, so it would be hard to go there, that’s all.”  
“Oh,” Cynthia smiled. “Okay then.”  
Suzanna excused herself, to get a drink of water, and Lily beckoned for them all to come in closer. “Guess what guys?”  
They all whispered “What?”  
“If any of the people at school bully you, we know some people there who would break their noses if they do,” she smirked.  
“Lily!” Remus reprimanded.  
“Oh, yes. Don’t break your noses themselves, just ignore them. Other people can take care of it for you. Our friends are your friends now, too, okay?”  
The kids all beamed. “Okay!” They chorused.  
“One more thing,” Remus whispered to them. “If they give you a really really hard time, Lily, her husband and me and my boyfriend will come there ourselves and give them a very stern talking to. Lily’s good at those,” Remus looked over and smiled at her.  
They were all still smiling. “Wait,” Hugh paused. “Are you a werewolf?” He whispered to Lily.  
She shook her head. “No, I’m not.”  
He looked confused. “So why are you so nice to us?”  
She smiled at him. “Because you’re just like everyone else. You just have a special power that means you transform once a month.”  
“It’s a curse, not a power,” Cynthia frowned.  
Lily laughed. “Guess what our friends called Remus’ lycanthropy in school?” The kids all shrugged their shoulders. “They called it his ‘furry little problem’” All the kids laughed.  
Remus smiled. “That’s all it is, you know. Just a furry little problem. And you’ll be back with Suzanna on weekends, and to transform, and during holidays, okay?” He reassured them.  
They nodded their heads. “Okay.” They said in unison.  
“We’ve got to go soon-“  
Stephanie raised her hand. “Yeah, Steph?” Lily answered. Nicknames?! What IS this shit?!  
“Will you come too? To visit us, sometimes?”  
Lily beamed. “I would love to, as long as Suzanna says yes.”  
The girls all smiled, and the boys blushed slightly.

Remus spotted a tall head wandering through the crowd, a small girl clutching a book walking next to him. Sebastian, Remus realised, and next to him, the squib wolf, Rose.  
Remus nudged Lily, nodded his head towards the oncoming boy.“Seb, he’s with the squib girl, yes?” She whispered. Remus nodded. “Can I talk to her?”  
Remus shrugged his shoulders. “Sure, if she’ll talk to you.” Lily nodded, before Remus helped her up to greet Sebastian.  
“Lily!” Sebastian smiled, hugging her. “God, a baby! With James! That’s a miracle, if I’ve ever heard one,” he smiled. Remus realised that Sebastian really was just a nice person. He would never do what Sirius had done the past week. But he didn’t love Sebastian. He loved Sirius, oh, so much.   
Lily smiled. “Yeah, it’s pretty crazy. I mean the boys are still nightmares, but they’re our nightmares now, so I guess that makes it tolerable,” she smiled.  
Sebastian turned to Remus. “Hey, Rem,” he smiled, hugging him for slightly too long, and pressing his face into =his neck slightly too much. Remus looked over at Lily, who was frowning severely. Yep, she’d noticed.   
Once Sebastian had pulled back from the uncomfortably long hug, and Remus had glared at Lily until the frown was wiped from her face, Suzanna had reappeared and clearly given Lily permission to talk to Rose. Lily crouched down (as much as a pregnant woman could) and whispered something to Rose that made the young girl smile.  
Remus heard Lily say quietly “Do you want to go for a bit of a walk?” Rose nodded at her. “I walk a bit slowly because I have a baby in my tummy, so, if that’s okay with you, we can walk now.”  
“Yeah! That’s okay. I’ve never seen a pregnant person before. Will you tell me about it? And about being muggle-born? And about the theory in Hogwarts? And about-“  
Lily laughed, cutting the girl off. “I’ll tell you everything you need to know, okay? Do you want some icecream?” Rose beamed. “Never had ice cream, I’m guessing?” Rose shook her head. “Okay. Let’s go.” Lily looked back at Remus, and mouthed ‘Be back soon’, before grabbing Roses had and leading hereto Fortescue’s. 

“Alright!” Remus began, addressing the flock of children. “Dumbledore should be arriving any second now, and we’ll be getting some money out of the vault.”  
Remus turned and whispered to Suzanna, “Is it alright if I take the two oldest through the vault? They might need to come alone, during the term.”  
Suzanna frowned, looking deep in thought, before her face settled into a small smile. “Yes, that should be okay. Is it alright if I wait out here? I find the carts absolutely sickening!”  
Remus smiled at her and nodded. “Of course. Who are the two oldest?”  
Suzanna pointed at Stephanie and a taller boy who had so far been silent. “Stephanie and Oliver. If Oliver doesn’t want to come, I think it would be good for Ely to go. He’s young, but he’s dreamt about this forever.” Remus nodded.  
“Okay, Stephanie, would you like to come through the vault? The carts are very shaky and can make you feel a bit sick, but you’ll meet some goblins and see lots of gold.”  
She beamed. “Yes! Yes please!”  
“Wonderful. Oliver, do you want to come?”  
Oliver looked up. “Um, is it okay if I don’t? I just…”  
Remus smiled at him. “Of course you don’t have to come. No excuses necessary.” Remus received a thankful look from the boy, before he turned to Ely. “So, Ely, how about you? You up for a vault trip?”  
Remus didn’t think he had ever seen that much excitement on one face. “YES!” He yelled, receiving a stern look from Suzanna. “Sorry. Yes. I would love to.”  
“Wonderful.” Remus finished. “Professor Dumbledore should be here any second-“ Remus looked to his left, to see an old man in light blue robes with a grey beard and grey hair flowing down to his waist and half moon glasses perched on his nose. “And he’s here now!”  
Remus stepped aside so that Dumbledore could address the children. First he turned to Suzanna. “Suzanna, my name is Professor Albus Percival Wulfic Brian Dumbledore, and I would like to thank you immensely for assisting with the cause, and for so graciously accepting Remus. I admire you greatly, and I hope that you can trust me to look after the children during the week. I would like to accomodate any need that you have. Thank you, again, for accepting our request to assist with the cause.” Dumbledore gave a genuine smile and stepped back. Impressive, Remus thought, impressive.  
“Thank you for respecting my pack even now Albus, I believe you will take care of my children. I do have specific needs and if any of them are in your opinion unreasonable, do let me know, and I will tell you whether they are negotiable or not.” He nodded at her. “Well. Let’s get ready.”

“Students! My name is Professor Dumbledore, and I am the Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Is everyone here?”  
A young girl raised her hand. “Before I hear your question, what is your name?”  
She smiled nervously. “Catarina.”  
His eyes twinkled as he said “Alright. Do continue.”  
“I was going to say that Rose isn’t here. Lily took her for a walk.”  
Dumbledore nodded. “Perfectly understandable. Thank you for letting me know, Catarina.” The small girl blushed and hid her face.  
“Well, I believe that we should retrieve some gold from the Hogwarts Vault. Sebastian, Suzanna, would you like to give the children, and teenagers, a tour of some of the most well known shops in Diagon Alley?”  
Suzanna nodded, Sebastian responding “I would be delighted, Professor.”  
“Very well,” Dumbledore smiled, turning to Remus. “Who will be joining us?”  
“Stephanie and Ely.” Remus turned to the children. “Would you two please come up here?” The two scurried up the Gringotts steps to join Remus and Dumbledore.  
Suzanna and Sebastian headed the other way, children in tow. “Well! We should get going!” Dumbledore announced, turning on his heel and gliding into the Gringotts entrance.  
Remus stood next to Stephanie and Ely, whispering and pointing at interesting parts of Gringotts. He warned them not to speak to Goblins unless spoken to. He said he would explain why later. They reached the front desk, and Dumbledore presented the key, which was examined extensively, and eventually accepted by the goblins, who, after glaring at Remus and the other two, led the four of them to the vaults. The goblin, who’s name was Gornuk, instructed them all to climb into the cart, which began moving before he told them to hold on. Holding on was important information, Remus knew, and chances are Gornuk was being a twat because he knew the three were werewolves. Goblins just knew these things. Remus was at a loss as to how.  
While the cart sped down the mine shaft, they all reacted very differently. Stephanie was screaming. Remus felt like screaming, but forced himself to hold the noise in. Ely looked like he was going to be sick. Dumbledore, however, was having the time of his life.  
“How are you enjoying this?!” Remus yelled at Dumbledore over the noise of the cart.  
“Remus! It is simply wonderful! The wind in your hair, the cart dodging the stalagmites, us, ducking under the stalactites! The clacking of the carts, the sharp turns! It’s just like a muggle rollercoaster… simply brilliant!” Dumbledore yelled back.  
Remus chose not to mention that muggle rollercoasters weren’t nearly as unsafe as the cart they were in right now, and you certainly didn’t have to duck under stalactites. Dumbledore was so, so odd. 

—————————————————————————

Many hours later, gold had been collected, books had been purchased, cauldrons had been bought, potions ingredients stocked, robes sized and wands chosen (well, wands for everyone except Rose. She was so excited about going to Hogwarts that she didn’t even seem remotely disappointed).  
Lily was tired, and Remus had an arm around her. The only time that he broke contact with her was to hug Suzanna goodbye, and give brief hugs to all the children. Lily explained that she couldn’t bend down to hug them, so the shorter kids hugged her legs instead.  
Oh, Remus thought. Time to say goodbye to Sebastian. Remus flicked his eyes at Lily, who immediately came over to bid Sebastian farewell at the same time.  
“Could I have a moment with Remus?” Sebastian asked Lily.  
Both Lily and Remus knew that she couldn’t say no. “Yeah, sure.” She stalked away.  
“Rem,” Sebastian said strangely seductively.  
“Seb,” Remus said in a perfectly friendly tone.  
“I think we should be together,” Sebastian smiled, grabbing his hand.  
“Sebastian.” Remus said said sternly, pulling his hand away.Sebastian smiled. “I know you want to.”  
“That’s the thing, Seb, I don’t! I’m in a relationship! With someone I love!” Remus said, frustrated.  
Sebastian frowned. “He’s going to hurt you. I can see on your face that he already has. I would never hurt you. I will never hurt you…” Sebastian grabbed Remus’ neck and pulled him in for a kiss. Remus pulled his head away before their lips could touch. “Stop it. Now.”  
Sebastian pulled him in again. “Just one kiss, to remind you how it feels…”  
Remus wasn’t strong enough to pull his head away, and their lips were about to touch, when suddenly the hand was off his neck and a loud smacking sound echoed in Remus’ ears.  
He opened his eyes that he had closed to brace himself for the kiss, and saw Lily standing angrily and Sebastian clutching his cheek. Remus dropped his jaw. She’d done it. The famous Lily Evans slap. What a day, Remus thought, what a fucking day.  
“Do NOT,” she yelled in his ear, “EVER,” she moved closer, “TOUCH,” louder this time, “REMUS,” almost a scream, “AGAIN!”  
She stalked off, grabbing Remus’ hand and they sped through the Leaky Cauldron and back onto the streets of London.  
“THAT LITTLE FUCKER!” Lily yelled.  
“Shhh!” Remus hushed. “The baby can hear you!”  
“Yeah, the baby needs to know that that wasn’t okay!” She added.  
“Wait, did the kids see any of that? Did Suzanna?”  
Lily shook her head. “Sent them back in a while ago. Thought something like this might happen.”Remus tried not to, he really did, but he burst out laughing. “I’ve got to say, for a pregnant woman, you’re still the most powerful person I’ve ever met.”  
She looked touched. She put her hand over her heart and said “Thank you, Remus. I’m glad my spontaneous slaps bring you as much joy now as they did in sixth year.”  
With that, they linked arms, and apparated back to their flats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey beautifuls,   
> I've been struggling to write due to an illness I'm dealing with, but I'm making sure I still do. It keeps me grounded.  
> My girlfriend is fucking amazing, that's irrelevant, it's just fun to say.
> 
> Love, Gabby xx


	19. Suspicions and Little Black Books - Sirius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter loses his shit, and the group raid a safe house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long to upload! It was long, and I wanted it to be perfect.  
> Enjoy :)

Sirius was sitting on the couch When Remus entered the flat.   
“Remus?” Sirius said quietly.  
“Sirius,” Remus sighed. “Guess we should talk.”  
Sirius nodded. “Guess we should. Here?” Sirius gestured to the spot next to him on the couch.   
Remus nodded and made his way over. “I’ll start, if that’s alright.” Remus stated. Sirius nodded. “Sirius, I’m not the spy. I’ve never lied to you. The only secrets I’ve kept from you are the one’s Dumbledore’s ordered me to keep. I go to the pack to do what he has asked. It’s not a choice. I’d much rather be here with you… But when I’m not here, you’re plotting against me?”  
Sirius knew he’d been an arse, but he only just realised how badly he’d screwed up. “I’m so sorry Remus. I really, really am. There’s nothing I can say to fix it, because there isn’t anything that justifies what I did. I didn’t want to make it sound like I don’t trust you, because I do, I really do. I don’t know what I was thinking. If anyone would be the spy here, it’s me. I’m the Black. I’m the one with the death eater brother. I’m the shitty person. Not you. You’re… good. So good. I’m sorry. James is, too,” Sirius added quietly.  
Remus sighed. “Okay. Let’s just forget about it. Okay?”  
Sirius’ eyes widened. “W-what?!” Was Remus seriously forgiving him after thirty seconds of apologising?!  
“I said, can we forget about it? Life’s hard enough without fighting with you.” Sirius smiled, and Then Remus’ eyes flashed amber and he growled “Besides, I haven’t had my way with you in ages, have I?”  
Sirius instantly hardened. “N-no, you haven’t,” he panted, breathless with just the promise of sex.  
“Mmm. Let’s fix that, shall we?”

That night, Remus fucked Sirius harder than ever before, and then slower and more passionately than ever before, too. They were lying there, in each others arms, when Sirius smiled. This boy could never be the spy.   
So who the hell was?

———————————————————————

Remus was taking the pack to Hogwarts. They’d be joining half-way through the year, so that the adults in the pack could start training to fight. Sirius was thankful that he got to know even this small detail. It made him feel like Remus was hiding less. He suspected it was a relief to Remus too.  
Lily was going with him.

Marlene and Dorcas had gone off and gotten married at some hall at midnight, saying that they were ‘sick of waiting’ and ‘now’s a good a time as any, right?’. Sirius sighed. He and Remus were the only one’s left. He’d have to do something about that. Peter kept disappearing all the time. Raids were an average part of the group’s week at this point, but Peter was missing their Friday night drink-ups, and their Sunday night roasts. There were perfectly plausible excuses every single time, but for some reason Sirius had trouble believing him. Oh well, he thought. Just Pete being Pete. Lily was getting more and more pregnant. She would be going on the raid tomorrow, but only as a look-out. The stress of pregnancy was hitting Alice harder, so this would probably be her last time on a mission. When Dumbledore had announced that Lily would be coming, even if she wasn’t fighting, all havoc broke loose.  
“Professor! She’s pregnant! What if she can’t defend herself?!” James cried.  
Lily scowled. “What, because having a baby makes me weak?”  
Rookie move, Sirius thought. There is nothing you can say that won’t make her angrier. That’s like pregnant woman rule 101. Sirius read books about this. He’d been bored while Remus was gone.  
“N-no,” James said nervously. “I’m just saying I want you two to be safe-“  
“Oh!” Lily shouted. “So NOW you’re saying I can’t protect my own baby?!”  
James was desperate at this point. “No! Of course you can! It’s just-“  
“Silence.” Dumbledore said quietly, yet somehow he managed to bring he sound to a halt.  
“Lily, James is simply concerned for the wellbeing of his family.” She went to interrupt, but he held his hand up to silence her, turning to James. “And James, I think you will find that Lily is the most able witch of her age, pregnant, or not.”  
They both huffed.  
“So, are we ready to continue plans for the raid?” Dumbledore asked with a smile. They both stared at each other and reluctantly nodded. “Wonderful.”

There was a small terrace in South London that Death Eaters from across the UK stayed in while they were visiting London to assist the cause. Dumbledore had intel (He always had intel, Sirius thought. Who was the traitor on their side? Surely they’re risking more than the traitor on our side is. At least WE won’t kill them). His sources say that the death eaters carry all of their belongings with them, their code of ethics being trust no one completely, except the Dark Lord himself. Due to their mistrust, their personal belongings will be in that house, which was places under the fidelius, however Dumbledore had somehow bribed the Secret Keeper (astonishing, Sirius thought) and had gained the address of the safe house.   
“Why exactly do we want their personal belongings? Wouldn’t their suitcase just be a cloak and a mask, and perhaps a few back up masks, seeing as they take such pride in their appearance?” Remus deadpanned this statement, but everyone else muffled their laughter.  
Dumbledore smiled. “I thought the same thing at first, Remus. However, I have discovered that the death eaters keep a small book on them. Each one of them have one, and when the Dark Lord, or another death eater of tenure, write something in the book, it appears on the pages of all of the death eaters who own one. Gaining access to one of these books would allow us to have more immediate insight into the inside plans of the dark side.”  
Peter raised his hand. “Yes, Mr Pettigrew?” McGonagall answered, sharply. She’s taken a certain disliking to Peter recently, Sirius had noticed. He didn’t think anyone else had noticed, strangely.  
“Um, what’s the address? For the fidelius?”  
Marlene, Dorcas, Alice, Frank, Sirius, Remus, Lily, James, Fabian, Gideon, Caradoc and even Moody’s jaws dropped.  
McGonagall developed an unbelievably stern look on her face. “Mr Pettigrew, why on earth would you need to. Know that?”  
He suddenly looked very nervous. “Oh, you know, just in case someone else needs to know, in case something happens to Professor Dumbledore, that’s all”.Even Sirius thought that was a shitty excuse.  
“Trust me, Mr Pettigrew-“ McGonagall said his name with what Sirius considered to be admirable distaste, “if someone needed to know as back-up, I can assure you that it would not be you.”  
Dumbledore actually glared at McGonagall, silencing her instantly. “I’m sure what Miverna means to say, is that someone is aware of the location, however I chose someone who was more experienced than you, Peter. Nothing against you, nothing against you at all.” Dumbledore smiled. Sirius and Remus shared a look, both of them agreeing that that was an incredibly insincere smile. Peter beamed in response. “Okay! That’s alright. Just wondering.”  
Dumbledore nodded. “Of course. It is natural to wonder. Anyway-“  
Peter raised his hand. “Professor?”  
Dumbledore smiled. “Yes, Peter?”  
Sirius noted that if he could one day achieve the level of patience that Albus Dumbledore possessed, he would die a fulfilled man.  
“Can I come? Be in the field? For this raid?”  
Dumbledore seemed to take a moment to consider, before Moody stood up. It was worth noting that Moody now had a spinning mechanical eye over the area that was originally covered by an eyepatch.  
“No. Absolutely not. Sorry, Albus, but I will NOT have someone on the field who runs away when things get too hard. Even two pregnant women and three ministry of magic members, and four people who had just watched their best friend being blown to bits recently, they all stayed, but Pettigrew ran. I’m never one to disagree with you Albus, but if Pettigrew comes on the raid I can guarantee you that every other person in this room will feel more unsafe.” With that, Moody sat down, and crossed his arms.  
Peter looked straight at Dumbledore. “Please?”  
Dumbledore kept a straight face, and looked at the others in the room. “Peter,” he said, addressing Peter directly again, “I think that Alastor does have a point, but we will leave it open to discussion. Who here feels particularly unsafe knowing that Peter is coming on the raid?”  
Caradoc, Fabian, Gideon, Frank and Marlene raised their hands.“That’s less than half, right?” Peter smiled hopefully.  
This, Sirius realised, was incredibly odd. Peter usually just went along with what was the majority’s decision. He never tried to change people’s minds, especially when doing so resulted in a fight of some sort, and he definitely never started arguments solely to get something that he wanted. Sirius looked back and forward between James and Remus, who looked just as perplexed as he imagined he did himself.  
“Yes, Peter, it is, however, is there anything else anyone would like to say?”  
Dorcas meekly raised her hand. “Dorcas?” Dumbledore acknowledged her, kindly, with a smile on his face. He was reassuring her that she wouldn’t be judged for speaking, which was just what she needed at the time.  
“Um…” she looked at Peter, and then actively tried to avoid his gaze throughout the rest of her sentence. “It’s not that I would feel unsafe, necessarily, it’s just that I would be a bit more on edge, you know, and a bit more… worried? Yes, I think worried is the way to put it.” She looked guiltily at Marlene, who just pulled her into a hug.  
Dumbledore nodded. “Anything else?”  
Marlene stood up to face the group and Dumbledore. “Actually, yes. Look, Peter,” she made eye contact and spoke to him, “I love you mate, we all do, it’s just that my wife almost died because one of the people who was meant to be covering her ran away. When we fight, everyone has a role, and if even one person abandons it, we’re all immediately in danger. Remus and Sirius had to abandon their posts so that Lily, Hestia and Emmeline quite literally didn’t get killed on the spot. Fabian was left without a partner, and it was lucky that Remus and Sirius could step in, but there isn’t usually a back up, and in other raids that we’ve been on since, there hasn’t been. I just don’t think it’s a good idea to go back into the field when the last time you were in it, seven of us almost died immediately. I’m not mad, and I know I get mad a lot, so that’s hard to believe, but running away was cowardly, and I think it’s best that you stick to the sidelines when it comes to field duty. That’s all.” She sat back down, and Sirius looked around, noticing that everyone looked particularly relieved. Someone had to say it, they all knew that, and they were just glad that Marlene did it for them.  
“Well said, McKinnon,” Moody chimed in from his chair next to McGonagall.  
Dumbledore still appeared unbiased, and said, “Anyone else have anything to say?”  
“I agree with Marlene,” Lily said quietly.  
Remus and Sirius shared a look, before Remus nodded and said “Pete, you’re my best mate, but Marls does have a point, for once,” he winked at her, earning a smile. “Sirius and I kind of agree. Sorry,” he added.  
“Peter, I have a kid, you know? I can’t afford to have any part of these plans go wrong, because there’s a lot at stake. There’s a lot at stake for all of us, and I’m sorry, I just don’t want to be worried about you the entire time,” Alice sighed.  
James nodded. “I see where she’s coming from, Pete. We love you mate. We all do. That’s not what this is about. It’s just about technicalities, you know?”  
Peter stood up. “It was my first time doing field work! Okay! My bloody first time! I ran away, that doesn’t make me a coward! Don’t you think people deserve a second chance?!” He cried.  
Dumbledore gestured to the group. “Anything else?”  
The Prewetts stood up, surprisingly. “Yeah. We’ve got something to say.” Stated Gideon.  
Caradoc stood up, Frank joining him. Frank started by saying “Peter, seriously, you’re my best mate. I don’t want to hurt you, alright? It’s just stressful, having to worry about something else when you’re worried enough about, y’know, dying and stuff.” Frank sat down.  
Caradoc gestured to the Prewetts. “Me first.” They nodded and agreed with him, but it wasn’t a question. “Right. My best friend died a few months ago. Chances are a few more of us will die in the next few months, too. I would rather know that I did everything I possibly could to avoid that. I would rather that I stood up and said you shouldn’t come. Because even if you do, at least I’ll have said something. At least I’ll die with dignity.” Caradoc sat down, rubbing his temples.  
Fabian and Gideon glanced at each other. Gideon nodded, and Fabian went first. “You were my partner, Peter. You never, ever abandon your partner. That’s the first rule of field work, and the one that matters the most. I’m older, I’m a better wizard than you, no offence, it’s just a fact, but it’s terrifying not having someone to cover your back. We don’t duel alone. That’s Dumbledores rule-“ Fabian looked over at Dumbledore, who nodded in confirmation, “-and that’s the way it is. I don’t think anyone here would want to be your partner knowing that you could leave them alone at any second.” Fabian sat down.  
Peter stood up. “I won’t leave! It was one time, okay? Just let it go, for fuck’s sake!”  
Sirius noticed that all of the recent graduates audibly gasped. What was going on?! Why was Peter yelling? And why, oh why, was he defending himself?!  
“Peter!” Remus exclaimed. “Will you sit down, and let people finish?”  
“Oh, fuck off, Remus!” Peter exclaimed. He sat down anyway.  
Gideon cleared his throat. “Anyway. I’m not all that bothered about the running away thing. Oh, don’t you all look at me like that. I’m more bothered about what you said before. Why would you want the location of the safe house?”  
The entire room went quiet. Sirius knew they were all thinking the same thing; good fucking point.  
“It was an OFFER-“  
“Peter, let me finish.” Gideon said sternly. “You know as well as we do that you wouldn’t be the one who Dumbledore trusted the most, especially not when Moody is IN THE ROOM.” Gideon sighed. “All I’m saying, is that everyone is aware there’s a spy, and you’re giving us a pretty good case right now to suspect that it’s you.” Gideon sat down and crossed his arms. Sirius knew that Gideon had a point, and it really could seem like that, but all of them knew that Peter wasn’t the spy. Firstly, Voldemort wouldn’t approach him, out of everyone, and secondly, Peter is far too cowardly (as he continuously proves, Sirius noticed) to actually betray The Order. Still, to people who don’t know him, the theory made an awful lot of sense. 

Everyone sat in silence for a while. Even Dumbledore didn’t seem to know what to say. After some time, Moody stood up.  
“Right. I’m not talking about the spy theory, you can make your own minds up on that. I am however, with your permission, Albus,” Moody looked at Albus, eyebrows raised. He received a smile, a nod, and a hand gesture to continue, “I will be making the decision the Pettigrew doesn’t join us in the field, and doesn’t get access to the fidelius charm.”  
Peter stood up. “You’re kidding!”  
Moody looked at him, dead in the eyes. “I assure you, Pettigrew, that Alastor Moody does NOT kid.”   
Peter looked at Dumbledore. “Professor?! Aren’t you going to tell him to take me?!”  
Dumbledore sighed. “Peter, unfortunately, I do not participate in field work. At the end of the day, it is not my decision about who joins the duellers. There is still an incredibly valuable job for you-“  
Peter cut it off. “Cut the shit, Albus.”   
Everyone gasped. “Peter!” Remus called out.  
“FUCK OFF, WEREWOLF!”  
Suddenly twelve hexes flew at him, McGonagall clenching her want tightly and Dumbledore literally dropping his jaw. Everyone threw a different one, but only Moody’s hit Peter before he disapparated.  
“What was it?” Sirius asked.  
“He’ll be throwing up slugs for an hour or two,” Moody said nonchalantly.They all sat silence for a while.  
Dumbledore finally broke the silence. “Wow.”

—————————————————————————

They all got ready for the raid, thinking the same thing. What the fuck just happened?  
They were all fuming at the werewolf comment, but they were also really fucking confused. Peter had never done that before. Was he on some sort of muggle drug? A drug that somehow left him both angry and defensive? Sirius really, really wanted to figure it out, but right now, he was getting ready to have killing curses thrown at him for god knows how long. Dumbledore said that it should be a fairly quick mission, because they didn’t know that The Order was coming (although he said that every time, and the spy had warned the death eaters almost all of them) and the house was fairly small, so there wasn’t much room for backup to crowd in.   
“In and out, okay?” Dumbledore said as they prepared to apparate. “Get the book, get out of there. Alastor will be obliviating the death eater so that he-“  
“Or she!” Marlene interrupted.Dumbledore smiled. “Very right, Miss McKinnon, so that he or she cannot tell the others that we have taken the book. A replica book will be put in the other’s place, so that the death eaters do not realise that it is gone.” They all nodded. “Now, I would like you to all read this piece of paper. NOT aloud, just in your heads. Okay?” They nodded again, and leaned over to read an address scrawled in Dumbledore’s cursive handwriting. “Everyone got it?”  
“Yep,” they all murmured.  
“Brilliant. Alastor is now in charge. Partners are Alice and Lily, who will be on lookout outside the entrance, Sirius and Remus, Marlene and Dorcas, Fabian and Frank and James, Gideon and Caradoc. Understood?” They all looked at their partner/s, and nodded. “Wonderful. Follow Alastor’s lead, and remember to press your button if anything goes wrong.”  
Dumbledore had installed buttons onto the protego bracelets that they all wore during battles, and when pressed, the buttons notified members of The Order, such as Hestia, Emmeline, Edgar, McGonagall and Dumbledore himself.  
Moody nodded curtly. “Thanks, Albus. Alright. Grab each other’s arms, and we’ll apparate. Three, two, one.” And then they were spinning.

They arrived on a small suburban street in South London. They walked up the street until Moody suddenly told them to stop. “Think of the address.” They did, and a black terrace suddenly appeared in front of them. “Lily, Alice, stay here. If anyone tries to get out, stop them, but if anyone tries to get in, hide. Got it?” They nodded, and Moody turned to the rest of them. “Okay, go slow. I’ll open the door, quietly, and half go you take upstairs, the other half go to the back. Got it?” They all nodded. “Okay. Wands raised… Let’s go.” He opened the door silently and tiptoed into the house, the rest of them following. He ushered Sirius and Remus, Fabian, Frank and James upstairs, while pointing Gideon and Caradoc and Marlene and Dorcas down the hallway. Moody went with them, mouthing ‘be careful’ to the boys heading upstairs.   
Sirius led them up the stairs, stepping lightly, and thanking merlin that the stairs didn’t creak. There were three rooms. Fabian told them to stay, and peeked into each room. One was a bathroom, which Fabian mouthed to them was empty, so there were two bedrooms upstairs. Sirius and Remus stepped towards the left one, and Fabian, James and Frank headed to the one straight in front of them. Fabian stopped, quickly mouthing ’silencing charm’, before tiptoeing back to Frank and James. Sirius and Remus nodded at each other, grateful for the wordless communication that they had mastered over the years, and Remus pushed the door open, Sirius casting a silencing charm at the threshold. A death eater that Sirius recognised from the raid Peter had fled from was sleeping in the corner of the room. His belongings were lying in a small suitcase, lying open in the corner. Huh, Sirius thought. He’d never imagined a death eater to carry around his belongings in a suitcase. Then again, he didn’t know what he had expected. Maybe a conspicuous looking duffel bag? A paper bag, because all they carried around was their outfit and wand, and apparently this tiny black book? Remus nudged Sirius, and he returned to reality. Remus gestured that he was going to close the door and stand guard over the bed, and pointed for Sirius to start locating the black book. Sirius, very quietly, removed the top layer of clothing from the suitcase, carefully placing it on the floor. Alright, spare robes, not that weird. He saw a spare mask, which was incredibly amusing to look at when it wasn’t on a death eater’s face, and a wand holster below the robe he had removed. He picked those up and removed them. Below that was a roll of parchment. Sirius quietly unrolled it, revealing a map for the next attack. He pocketed it, just in case. Next to that was a book. Sirius turned it over and used the moonlight to read the title. ‘The Shining’? Sirius held his laughter in. Ah, this was brilliant. A death eater who read not just a muggle book, but ‘The Shining’ in his spare time. Fan-fucking-tastic. Remus gestured for Sirius to hurry up, so he removed the book, trying to burn the image into his mind so that he could share it with the others later. He searched through more clothes (death eater underwear. That’s something Sirius hoped he would never have to see again) and finally reached the bottom of the suitcase, where a tiny, black, leather-bound book lay against the lining of the bag. Got it. Sirius took the book and replaced it with a replica, and started to quickly replace the clothes, in the order that he had removed them, when he heard the death eater stir. Shit, Sirius thought. He looked up at Remus, who had clearly had the same thought. Sirius wanted to throw all of the clothes in and get out, but he had to make it seem like no one had been there. Finally, he lay the spare robes on top, and stepped back, pocketing the black book and nodding at Remus that he was ready to go.  
Remus and Sirius inched backwards, impossibly quietly, and Remus swung open the door. Sirius tiptoed out, Remus following, and they shut the door behind them. Bloody hell! It had actually worked! Maybe this would be easier than they thought. The silencing charm was set on a timer, so it would be gone by the time whoever he was woke up. They had one book now, and that’s all they needed, so Remus and Sirius padded down the hall to tell James, Fabian and Frank that they could go. As soon as Remus opened the door, he saw flashes of light flying all around the room. The silencing charm must have ben placed at the threshold, so they were watching a battle unfold in complete silence. Sirius found this incredibly odd. They had to do something, but they had no clue what. Sirius risked a whisper. “What do we do?”Remus moved his lips closer to Sirius’ ear and whispered back “I have no idea. One of us goes in, tells the others to get out and for Fabian to finish the job? He’ll know what it means.”  
Sirius nodded in agreement. “I’ll go,” he muttered. Remus raised his eyebrows, as if asking Sirius if he was sure, but Sirius smiled at him and stepped over the threshold. Instantly, banging and crashing overwhelmed his ears.   
“GET OUT! WE’VE GOT ONE! GET OUT!” The boys looked up, still duelling.  
“YOU SURE?” James yelled, dodging a killing curse.  
“YES YOU TWAT, I’M SURE! GET OUT! FABIAN, FINISH IT WHILE THEY’RE GOING!”  
Frank threw a curse at the death eater, who Sirius definitely recognised, and bolted out of the room. Remus stopped him and silencio’d him as soon as he got out so that he didn’t make too much noise. Sirius noticed James was in a corner, and it was hard for him to get out of the room. Bloody hell, Sirius thought. The things I do for my brothers. Sirius stepped in the room and threw a particularly violent curse at the death eater that he somewhat blocked, but the force of it still knocked him off his feet. James took the opportunity to run, and Remus silenced him, too. Sirius kept firing hexes at the death eater so that Fabian had enough time to get close enough to him to cast the memory charm.  
Sirius barely heard Fabian muttering the words, and once the death eater was silent, Fabian said ‘Obliviate’ and pointed his wand at the death eater’s forehead.   
Suddenly, the death eater sat up. “Who are you?” The blonde man enquired. “Where am I?”  
“You’re just going to come with us! Do you like cake?” Sirius asked him with a smile. The man beamed. “I LOVE cake! Are we getting some?”  
Fabian nodded. “Yes, we are, but we have to stay very quiet on the way out, okay?”  
The death eater nodded. “I can do that.” Fabian and Sirius both smiled at him, using all of their willpower not to laugh.  
As soon as the death eater crossed the threshold, he opened his mouth to speak, but Remus was prepared and silencio’d him at once. Fabian and Sirius quickly rearranged the room so that it had somewhat of a resemblance to its original form. Close enough, Sirius thought. Not that it mattered. This lot were complete idiots.   
Fabian had taken control of the man and was carrying him down the stairs as they all tiptoed to the entrance hall.   
“I’ll stay with him,” Fabian whispered. The rest of them nodded, and headed to the unfamiliar territory to get Dorcas, Marlene, Gideon, Caradoc and Moody out. They’d been instructed to leave once they’d got what they came for. Well, they got what they came for, but once they’d reached the end of the hallway they discovered that it would be harder than they thought to leave. They all peeked around the corner, and had to hold in a gasp at the sight. Marlene was backed into a corner, duelling at least three death eaters at the same time. Dorcas looked furious, and was flinging curses at death eaters violently. Sirius was honestly impressed. He’d never seen her so powerful in field work. Gideon and Caradoc were back to back, rotating, while throwing every curse that Sirius had ever used at the at least eight death eaters surrounding them. Moody was sitting in a chair, casually throwing defensive spells and sending the curses flying towards him straight back at the casters. Sirius wondered how someone could ever look so relaxed while duelling. He may as well be sipping on a glass of firewhisky and chatting to an old friend.   
Remus yelled “MOODY! WE CAN GO!”  
Suddenly, all of the death eaters turned around and started throwing spells at those who had come from upstairs. Fortunately, this gave Dorcas, Marlene, Gideon and Caradoc a chance to bolt. Unfortunately, this meant Sirius, Remus, James and Frank were amidst their second battle of the night. Moody was clearing a path effortlessly for him to walk through and join the other Order members. Once all of them were in the hallway at the edge of the downstairs living room, Moody gave them all the signal to cast petrifying spells. Once all of the death eaters were frozen, Moody magically bound them with ropes and sent a patronus to the ministry, alerting them that there were new residents of Azkaban waiting to be taken. Unfortunately, one of the death eaters managed to hide while the petrification spells were being cast. The woman bolted past the group, stunning Fabian and running into the street. The group inside turned to the door, hearing a shriek and a snap. Our pregnant saviours, Sirius though affectionately. Wonderful women.

They dragged whoever she was back inside, and the Ministry arrived a few minutes later. The law enforcers knew it was best to let Moody do his thing, and that was how they would catch the most criminals, so after they collected the death eaters, leaving the one upstairs as a suggestion to the other side that The Order was getting ‘sloppy’, the Ministry left. The group decided to leave the other valuables here. It was more important to make it seem as though they had taken nothing, and the book was enough, Moody said. Sirius went to return the parchment to the upstairs room when Moody snatched it out of his hand. He looked over it, before his eyes widened and he pocketed it straight away.“What is it, Moody?” Sirius asked.“The attack plan. It’s big. Really big.”  
“We have lots of big ones already though, don’t we?” Sirius asked him, perplexed.  
Moody sighed. “Yes, Sirius, we do. But this one? It’s tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The way Peter acted in this definitely wasn't canon, but I needed it for my peace of mind that he really was a twat.   
> I'm still in hospital, but only a week left! I'll still be getting a chapter up everyday :)  
> Thank you all for your neverending support, you're the best.  
> xoxo Gabs


	20. Horrible Losses, Part 1 - Remus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first of two chapters, focusing on the biggest battle the Order has had to date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again for the late upload!

“Moony?”  
Remus looked up from his book, they were lying on the bed, Sirius’ head in his lap, while he read ‘The Shining’. Sirius’ tale about the death eater made him crave Stephen King.  
“Yeah Pads?”  
Sirius sat up. “Do you want to get married?”  
Remus dropped his jaw. This was NOT the proposal he was expecting. “What?!”  
Sirius looked embarrassed. “Sorry. Forget I said anything.”  
Remus realised his mistake. “No! No, Pads! I just wasn’t expecting it!”Sirius allowed a smile to creep over his face. “Do you want to?”  
Remus frowned.  
Sirius’ face dropped. “If you don’t, that’s okay, it’s just that I love you so much, and I thought-“  
Remus placed a hand over his boyfriend’s mouth to shut him up.  
“Of course I do, you twat,” Remus said, reaching over into his bedside table, where, at the back, was a box, with two small silver bands (well, not real silver, he didn’t want to lose a finger). He pulled it out, and Sirius looked astonished. “I was going to do this tonight, but I mean, you ruined that,” Remus said, grinning.  
“What-“  
Remus cut him off. “Sirius, I’m shit at speeches, so I’ll just say this. I love you, I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to love anything, and I think that qualifies as a reason for us to get married.” Sirius burst out laughing. “What?!” Remus asked.  
Between laughs, Sirius managed to choke out “Only you would manage to somehow get the words ‘qualifies as a reason for us to get married’ into a proposal.”Remus rolled his eyes. “Point is, I love you. Marry me? Please?”  
Sirius leaned in and kissed Remus deeply. He stared at him, projecting so much love through a single look, and said “Moony, you don’t need to say please. I’d marry you if you yelled the question at me while duelling in a raid.”  
Remus beamed and opened the box. Inside were two bands, one engraved with ‘Moony’ and the other with ‘Padfoot’. Sirius was clearly trying hard not to cry.  
Remus went to reach for a ring, but Sirius jerked his hand away. Remus looked up, confused.  
“Wait, Moony!”Remus smiled. “Yeah?”“Silver!”  
Remus chuckled. “I’m not stupid, Pads. They’re white gold.”  
Sirius sighed. “Not even going to ask how you afforded that, but I’m glad you’re not a complete twat,” Sirius smiled.  
Remus slipped the ring that said ‘Moony’ onto Sirius’ ring finger, and followed by slipping the one that said ‘Padfoot’ onto his own. Sirius pulled him in for a kiss.   
They kissed for a long time. Maybe minutes, maybe hours. It didn’t matter. They could’ve had sex, sure, but this wasn’t the moment. This wasn’t lust, and it wasn’t passion, this was pure, this was love.

That night, they ordered in. The others were at Dorcas and Marlene’s, but this night was for them, and them only. They didn’t tell anyone, because they didn’t need to. Just knowing themselves, that they were connected, that they would be connecting, was enough to sustain them forever. They’d have to tell the others, and put up with the gushing tomorrow, but for now they ate curry and listened to records. Sirius lay on Remus’ chest, and they talked about everything and nothing. It wasn’t important what they were saying, and it wasn’t important where they were. There was a battle tomorrow, the biggest one yet, but for now, the only thing that mattered, and really, the only thing that every truly mattered, was the two of them.

————————————————————————

Sirius and Remus hauled themselves out of bed at four-thirty the next morning. They’d ended up fucking, like they knew that they would, and they hadn’t calculated just how much time they would have to sleep. As they got dressed, Sirius pointed out that once they’d duelled Bellatrix and Lestrange on barely an hour of sleep, and won (spectacularly, Sirius felt the need to add), so they should be fine. Before Remus could argue, Sirius kissed him, and told him that they’d be fine.

They knocked on James and Lily’s door. Lily opened it. She was alarmingly cheery for four-forty-five in the morning, but Remus silently blamed it on hormones and helped her drag a half-asleep James down the stairs to Marlene and Dorcas’. They were ready, and also awake, but it turned out that they hadn’t actually slept, just taken copious amounts of alertness potions. Whatever works, Sirius thought. Whatever works.  
They trekked to the warehouse, James too tired to successfully apparate, and met Alice and Frank on the way. Alice was like Lily, a ray of bloody sunshine before the sun had even come up, and Frank looked murderously tired. They were all painfully aware that Peter wasn’t there, but after yesterday’s events, none of them chose to mention it. They arrived at the warehouse, and said the password. They walked in to face a determined Moody, a tired McGonagall, and an unbelievably cheery Dumbledore. Remus didn’t think that level of energy should be allowed any time before at least nine o’clock.   
“Welcome!” Dumbledore smiled. “Please, do take a seat, and Miverna will give you a potion. Take a swig, and you should be fine.” McGonagall handed out what she told them was ‘extra-strength alertness potion’ and with one swig, they all instantly woke up.“Is this what you’ve taken, Professor?” James asked.  
McGonagall sighed. “No. Unfortunately Albus here just wakes up like this.” They all looked shocked. “Outrageous, I know,” she said, taking a swig herself.   
“Miverna, would you kindly grab the others, so that we can begin?” McGonagall nodded at Dumbledore, and glided into the meeting room, emerging with a smiling Emmeline, Edgar, Hestia, Caradoc, Gideon and Fabian. They all greeted the new arrivals, and took a seat themselves.  
“Alright. We can begin. So, the reason that I have asked you here at what is commonly considered an ungodly time of morning, but in reality, is the time of the morning when the birds start to sing, and the streets are quiet, and-“  
Moody interrupted. “Albus, look, I love the monologue, but I’m almost entirely sure that it can wait until after the death and destruction of the day.” Moody turned to the group. “Basically, its fuck-off in the morning, but Dumbledore will tell you why.”  
Dumbledore smiled. “Well, that’s one way to put it. Anyway. The reason you’re here before the sun is up is because this particular battle, of sorts, is scheduled to start at eight o’clock, so we will need to arrive no later than seven-fifteen. We need some extra training-“  
Moody cut him off again. “Basically, we’re not ready in the slightest.”  
Dumbledore sighed. “Alastor, would it kill you to be slightly positive? There will be a lot of, well, death, later, so give us a smile now.” Moody remained straight-faced. Dumbledore gave up, turning back to the group. “So, essentially, we are not quite prepared for the scale of the attack. For this reason, a few more of us should be arriving any second…”  
Suddenly, the warehouse door swung open, and Moody gripped his wand. A chuckle came from the first man to walk through the door. “Easy, Alastor,” the man smiled. Another two men walked in behind him, one trailing reluctantly after the other two.   
“Ah!” Dumbledore exclaimed. “Right on time. This,” Dumbledore pointed at the first man, “is Sturgis Podmore, followed by,” he pointed at the second man, “Dedalus Diggle, and behind him,” Dumbledore gestured at the last man who was hiding his head, “Mundungus Fletcher. They will be assisting us today, we need all the help we can get! Anything to say?”  
“Delighted to be here, lads. Oh, and lasses,” Sturgis added, gesturing to Marlene, Dorcas and the increasingly pregnant Alice and Lily. They smiled at the acknowledgment.   
“Good to meet you. I’m not as great as you lot with a wand, but I can cover you, so, we should be fine.” Dedalus smiled at them. Remus liked him. He had good ‘energy’, as Dorcas would say.“Hi, I’m Dung, and I don’t want to be here.” Mundungus said, scowling.  
Dumbledore cleared his throat. “Well! That’s all from them. Now-“  
Frank raised his hand. “Frank?” Dumbledore responded.   
“Yes, well, sorry to interrupt, but um, Mundungus, sorry, Dung…” Frank looked incredibly uncomfortable, “If you don’t want to be here, why are you?”  
Mundungus looked to Dumbledore, expecting him to answer for him, but when Dumbledore just gestured back at him, the man sighed. “Unfortunately, I owe a lot of people in this room an assortment of… favours. And I get angry during battles, so I don’t hold back. I’ll probably run away-“ Moody glared at him. “Nope, I won’t run away because otherwise, Moody…” Mundungus trailed off.  
“Because otherwise, Moody with castrate you and curse off your nose so that you bare a striking resemblance to Voldemort.” Moody finished.  
Mundungus nodded. “Yes. That.” Frank nodded, satisfied with the answer, and told Dumbledore that he could continue.  
“Well, now that we’ve sorted that out, here’s what’s going on. The attack is taking place outside Buckingham Palace.”  
Sirius scoffed. “These guys may be bastards, but that’s a fantastic choice of destination.” They all muffled their laughter, knowing that he was right.  
“Yes, well, it is reasonably ironic, but unfortunately it is also a spot that will be packed with muggles, especially early, as they will be lining up to take photos. Tourists, you see,” Dumbledore explained to a very lost James.  
“Tourists?” James whispered to Remus.  
Remus sighed. “Later, James. Listen.” James redirected his attention to the front, and Dumbledore spoke again.  
“It seems as though we will need to disregard the International Statute of Secrecy for this morning, and leave sit up to the obliviators at the Ministry to clean up the mess. I think we can all agree that it would be better for muggles to receive a shock and for the Ministry to have to distribute memory charms than it would be for mass murder to occur. Agreed?”  
They all nodded violently, murmuring ‘definitely’, ‘agreed’, ‘totally’, and other assorted forms of ‘yes’.  
“We have three objectives today. I need you to remember: this is NOT a raid. We are not trying to take anything from the death eaters. The only situation in which you could is if one of them drops their wand, in that case, snap it, and move on. There is no reason for you to get close to a death eater, and definitely no reason to touch them. The first objective is to get as many muggles as you can away from the area. The less bystanders, the less trouble for the Ministry, and also, the less likelihood for more death. The second and third objectives join. The second is to try and drive the death eaters away from the attack point. We want to get rid of them. However, if that seems impossible, if they will not give up - and I trust you to judge whether or not there is a chance that they will - your third objective is to disable them. Whether this is binding them with ropes, petrifying them, stunning them, or any other disabling curse, jinx or hex that you can think of, I do not mind. If you cannot get rid of them, at least ensure that they cannot fight anymore. When they can no longer fight back, take their wands. Ensure, and I cannot stress this enough, that they cannot escape. Otherwise, the fight is more dangerous for everyone. Your final job, which isn’t an objective, it is the reason we are going, is to defend bystanders. I would rather all of the surrounding area be completely destroyed, and for us to come out somewhat injured, than for muggles and innocent bystanders to be killed.”  
Everyone sat in silence for a moment, taking in the sheer gravitas of the situation. Dumbledore whispered something to Moody, who stood up and faced them.  
“Now. Things to remember. Cover your partner before yourself. If they do the same for you, which they should-“ he scanned the group threateningly, “-then everyone should come out alive. As Albus said, it is important to protect the innocent, but first you must protect yourselves. If you’re not okay, there is no chance for us to achieve our objectives. You look after your partner, then yourself, then the bystanders. After that, we take the death eaters. Defence before offence, like always. Got it?”  
They all nodded at Moody. They’d been in battles before, Remus knew, but this was different. This was in the middle of London, in front of everyone, in daylight. This was when tourists would be wandering the streets, unaware that soon they would be caught in a vicious crossfire for a war that they didn’t even know was going on. Remus vaguely registered someone speaking to him, before Sirius shook his shoulder. “Remus! Listen,” he said kindly.  
“Partners are different. Lily and Alice aren’t coming-“  
Lily interrupted Moody. “Actually, um, I would like to come.”  
“I would, too.” Alice added.  
James and Frank knew better than to argue. Ah, they were learning, Remus thought.  
Dumbledore looked puzzled. “Are you sure?”  
Lily nodded. “There’s a kid in my stomach, and I want it to know that sometimes there’s things you’ve just got to do. I might not be able to be running around, but there’s always something to do on the sidelines.”  
Alice smiled at Lily. “I couldn’t have said it better.”  
The two women grabbed their husband’s hands, and their husbands smiled at them. There was pride in James and Frank’s eyes, Remus could see it. It was lovely.  
Dumbledore nodded. “Alright. It is your decision. However, when you reach seven months, I’m going to have to insist you step down from field duty. Is that okay?” The two women gave an understanding nod. “Very well. In that case, Lily and Alice, you will be partners. There is an apparition spot in front of the main gates. If you stay there, and stun anyone who appatates immediately, it will make it vastly easier for the others. Does that sound okay?”  
Alice and Lily smiled, and said “Brilliant,” in unison.   
“Sirius and Remus, you’ll be in charge of standing close to the apparition point to get to anyone that tries to disapparate, disabling them. If the battle becomes more intense, you can make the judgement about whether to stay there or abandon your post if others are in need. But remember, wherever one of you goes, the other one goes too.” Sirius and Remus nodded.   
Sirius whispered in Remus’ ear “Wherever you go, I’ll always go.” Remus smiled and kissed him on the cheek.  
Dumbledore continued. “Marlene, Dorcas, Hestia and Emmeline. You will be in charge of getting the bystanders away as quickly as possible. Once you have done all that you can, and it is okay if some do not leave, because you tried, Marlene and Dorcas, you are partners, and Hestia and Emmeline, so are you. I need all of you to try and scare the death eaters off. Hex them, jinx them, curse them, just make them fear you. Fear us. Dorcas, look at me. I know you can do it. You all can.” They all smiled at him, especially Dorcas, who needed the validation, and nodded in understanding.  
“Right. Fabian and Gideon, today you will be together, because you work the best together out of all of us.”  
“Must be the twin thing,” they commented in unison.Dumbledore chuckled, his eye’s twinkling. Caradoc and Frank, you two work seamlessly, and you will be partners today. All four of you-“ Dumbledore scanned his eyes over Frank, Caradoc and the twins, “-will be disabling death eaters if they try to get away. However, it is important that one of these partnerships stays to guard the muggles. I think you two, Fabian and Gideon. Make sure they do not get hurt. Understood?”  
All four of them nodded, and Dumbledore, (regretfully, Remus noticed) turned to face Sturgis, Dedalus and Mundungus. “Now. You three are experienced wizards, however are not as heavily trained in combat, so you will be in charge of looking out for everyone else and casting protection spells when curses fly at them that they do not see.”  
“Pleased to help,” Dedalus smiled. “Always happy to assist, Albus.” Sturgis added.  
Mundungus remained pointedly silent.  
Dumbledore sighed. “This is my least favourite part of the briefings, but if any of you do die, call Moody, or press the button and I will come myself, to collect the body. Join another partnership, and do your best to keep fighting. You must fight, even after you lose someone, so that we don’t lose anyone else. Alright?”  
Everyone in the room nodded.  
“Yeah, okay,” James sighed.   
“You’re right. That part sucks.” Sirius sulked. Remus put an arm around him.

They all started to put on their protego bracelets, when there was a loud knocking at the door. More like an aggressive banging, really. Knocking suggests you’re asking for permission. “Wands at the ready,” Dumbledore said calmly, walking over to open the door. As he reached it, the door burst open, and they all raised their wands. The smoke cleared, revealing… Peter?  
“Oh for fucks sake,” Sirius sighed.   
Lily looked over at him. “Peter! Not the bloody time!”  
He looked furious. “I’m coming.”  
“You’re WHAT NOW?!” Yelled the Prewetts.   
“I’m coming, for the fight.” Peter clarified.  
“How the fuck do you know about the fight?” Asked Caradoc suspiciously.  
Peter glared at him. “Doesn’t matter. Point is, I’m coming. Who’s my partner?”The fuck is this confidence? Remus wondered. Honestly, what is going on?  
Dumbledore sighed. “Peter, unfortunately you aren’t authorised to participate in field work.”  
Peter turned to Dumbledore. “You’re the one who does the authorisation! So just AUTHORISE ME!” Peter shouted.  
Dumbledore remained completely calm. “Peter, we can talk about this at another time. Unfortunately we have important work to get too. But I promise you we can have this conversation later.” Remus noticed Dumbledore glance at Moody.   
Peter whipped around to Moody immediately. “Its you! You’re the one not letting me come! Let me come, you bastard!”  
Moody didn’t have the same level of self-control that Dumbledore did. “You will never be coming on field work while I’m in The Order. Sorry, Pettigrew, but we’ve got to go. Go home,” Moody snarled.   
Peter raised his wand, throwing a hex and Moody, but Moody was prepared and effortlessly blocked it without even looking up from fastening his wand holster.   
“I don’t understand! You let pregnant people come! You let mud-bloods come!” Remus noticed that they were all gripping their wands very tightly. “You let gays come! You left a fucking WEREWOLF COME!”  
Everyone raised their wands, but Remus yelled “STOP!” and they all instantly dropped them. Remus turned around to Peter, trying to replicate Dumbledore’s patience. “Peter, you’re angry. I think you should go.”  
Peter walked up to Remus and tried to threaten him, which was amusing considering Remus was at least a foot taller than him. “You don’t tell me what to do.”Remus was about to respond, when Dumbledore gently moved him aside so that he was facing Peter. “Peter, you are quite right. Remus does not tell you what to do.”  
Peter looked triumphant. “Exactly! Can be with the twins? I don’t want to go with the gays, or the mud-blood, or the fucking werewolf,” Peter snarled.  
“Peter, you interrupted me. Remus does not tell you what to do, but I do. There is a code of ethics in this organisation, which you have violated repeatedly and viciously. You will not be coming on this raid-“  
“You can’t stop me!” Peter yelled.  
Dumbledore sighed. “I assure you, Mr Pettigrew, that I can. You will not be coming on any future field missions either. The behaviour that you have just demonstrated is both offensive, inaccurate and frankly, childish. You are not in school anymore, You signed up for this, you agreed to our rules. If you will not follow them, I suggest you leave.”  
Remus had never heard Dumbledore’s tone so harsh. Even Peter looked shocked.  
“Fine then.” Peter crossed his arms. “I’ll just meet you there.”  
“I was really, really hoping you wouldn’t say that,” Dumbledore sighed in disappointment. He checked his watch, and turned to the rest of them. “It’s seven. Are you almost ready?”  
The rest of them nodded. “I’ll see you there, I guess,” Peter snarled.  
“Oh Peter. I really wish I didn’t have to do this. You know, in times like this-“  
“Petrificus Totalus!” Moody shouted, pointing his wand at Peter, who promptly froze and fell back onto a couch.  
Dumbledore looked at Moody with distaste. “I had a speech prepared, you know.”  
Moody rolled his eyes. “Yeah. Took too long. Alright, you all know where to apparate to? Great. On three. One-“  
“Wait!” Remus cried.  
They all looked at him, puzzled. “Can it wait, Lupin?” Moody exclaimed.   
Remus thought about saying that it could, but then he reconsidered. He didn’t want to die without saying this. “No, it can’t.”  
Remus paused for a moment. “Well, get on with it!” Moody cried.“Sirius and I are engaged. That’s all.” Sirius beamed up at Remus.  
Moody gave a rare smile, and Dumbledore clapped excitedly. Moody finished by saying “Wonderful! If we all live, we’ll celebrate. Anyway. Join hands. One, two, three.”  
And yet again, Remus was spinning.

—————————————————————————

It was seven forty-five, and Marlene, Dorcas, Hestia and Emmeline had transfigured their clothes to look like guards of the palace. They were telling the muggles to go, as there would be busy traffic coming through soon, and a surprising amount of them listened, and departed, looking put out. However, many of them stayed, insisting that they wanted to watch the gates open at nine, even if there was traffic, and not a great view. After too long spent trying to convince them, the four girls snuck behind a bush and transfigured their clothes back and lifted their glamours. It was best that the muggles didn’t think that palace guards had magical powers. Suddenly, a green glow was was cast upon the palace. Muggles didn’t notice… which meant… Remus looked up. The Dark Mark. Fan-fucking-tastic. Everyone was looking at each other, worry spreading across their faces. They were coming.  
Suddenly, a great crash came from Remus’ left. A tree had been sliced in half and fallen onto the road. Nope, they weren’t coming. They were already here.   
Lily and Alice were at the apparition point behind a bush, with their wands raised and their brows furrowed.   
Everyone else was spread out along the street in front of the palace gates. There was a mighty crash, and suddenly light surrounded them. At least twenty bodies, masked and cloaked in black, surrounded them.   
Jets of light started firing into the street, and Remus stood back-to-back against Sirius, raising his wand.  
Here we go, Remus thought. Time to fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a hard day, so this chapter is shorter than I planned. I'm separating it into two parts instead.  
> Hope you're all well.  
> -Gabby


	21. Horrible Losses, Part 2 - Sirius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of a battle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long one to make up for no chapter yesterday!

The glow of the Dark Mark filled the sky, and Sirius felt Remus breathing against his back. They were all in position. They were ready, or as ready as they could ever be. A jet of light flew straight past Sirius, almost clipping a muggle. Then more jets of light appeared. Sirius whispered “I love you,” to Remus, and then the screaming began.  
Fabian and Gideon were standing in front of the muggles, Sturgis, Dedalus and an incredibly reluctant Mundungus joining them, forming a human wall.  
“GET BEHIND US!” Gideon and Fabian screamed.  
Apparently the shouting wasn’t all that comforting to the muggles, so Sturgis spoke to them calmly, saying “Guys, we can keep you safe if you just stay behind us, okay?”  
There was subtle nodding as the group crowded behind the five of them. Two teenage girls tried to bolt but Dedalus grabbed their wrists. “I’m so sorry, lasses, but if you run, you’ll die. So please just stay behind us, and do not move.” He said this sternly, but kept a smile on his face. The girls appeared to find this somewhat comforting, and they joined the back of the cluster.  
Sirius looked over to see a death eater, who judging by the styled hair could only be Lucius Malfoy, approaching the group. He raised his wand, and Sirius knew he couldn’t get there in time. Fabian and Gideon were moving over, and Sturgis and Dedalus were calming the muggles, and none of them had seen Malfoy coming. Sirius braced himself for a blast, when suddenly Lucius was flying backwards and hitting a stone wall. Sirius looked over and saw Mundungus twirling his wand, looking smug. Well, Sirius thought, he may be a right bastard, but he sure can stun.  
Lucius’ failure had alerted some of the other death eaters, who were now determined to annihilate the muggles. All five Order members who were standing in front of the crowd had their wands raised. Sirius looked at Remus, and they both quietly ran behind the death eaters. They beckoned for Marlene to come over to stand with them. Almost all of the death eaters were now standing facing the crowd of muggles and Mundungus, Sturgis, Dedalus, Fabian and Gideon. There was no chance they could take them alone. Only Dumbledore himself could take all of them alone. Caradoc and Frank, who were duelling a death eater last time Sirius had seen them, were next to the Order members too. Sirius realised that that the death eater had joined the others in facing the muggles. So, Sirius thought, that was all of them. Twenty death eaters facing five Order members, three of whom weren’t trained in combat, and one who looked desperate to run away. Sirius looked around. He had Remus, Caradoc, Frank, James, Marlene and Dorcas lined up next to him, all looking at each other and nodding their heads. They’d learnt to communicate wordlessly during their time in The Order. That kind of nod meant ‘when they raise their wands, we fire’.  
Sirius was eternally grateful that the five men in front of the crowd of muggles hadn’t given away the other’s position, because if they did, all chances of saving people would be gone. All their work would go to shit. Sirius put a finger up to his mouth, telling them to be quiet. The muggles noticed, too, and averted their eyes, careful not to give away Sirius and the other’s location.  
Sirius suddenly heard a cackle from in front of him. It must have come from the front of the cluster, closest to the muggles. Bloody fucking hell, Sirius sighed internally. Did Bellatrix have to ruin EVERYTHING?!  
It seemed that all of the Order members behind the death eaters had the same realisation simultaneously. They were in a line, or a cluster, more like, behind the death eaters, who were spread out. They needed time to arrange themselves. Just thirty seconds would do. Sirius looked at Sturgis, who was the only one in his line of sight at that moment, and gestured to him that they needed time, just a bit of it. Sturgis seemed to have understood, because he spoke.  
“Why are you doing this? Why these muggles? What did they do to you?” Sturgis asked defiantly.  
Lestrange smirked at Bellatrix. “Well,” he began. “Many of these ‘muggles’ you speak of are muggle-born wizards. A small wizarding school took a tour here today, and we just couldn’t RESIST cleaning up a little bit, disposing of some scum,” Lestrange laughed.  
Sirius was somewhat relieved. At least some of them were magical. That’s probably why they haven’t had heart attacks yet. Them it occurred to him that this was worse. The death eaters wouldn’t leave until all of the muggle-borns were dead.   
Sirius and the others all knew what they had to do. They had to scare the death eaters away. Disabling them wouldn’t be easy, and it could take hours. They had to get rid of them.  
But how do you scare those whose only objective is to terrify?

Bellatrix was nattering on about something or other. Even in the middle of a battle she did not know how to shut up. Sirius and the others were in position. As good of positions as they could be in, at least. Sirius looked at Marlene, silently asking her to signal Sturgis to stop talking and provoke the death eaters into fighting. Sirius would’ve done it himself, but he had pointedly placed himself so that he could curse Bellatrix as soon as possible, and he couldn’t see Sturgis anymore. Remus looked at Sirius, as if telling him that provoking them was NOT a good idea, but Sirius somehow communicated to him that there really was no other option, because people were beginning to flood the streets (people who looked increasingly confused the more they looked at the people in black cloaks pointing sticks at a crowd of people who were being defended by men in normal outfits, also pointing sticks, and once they saw the people behind the cloaked people, ALSO pointing sticks, except this time, at the cloaked people, they just looked perplexed. Sirius heard one of them say that they didn’t know there was a street performance on today. Decent cover, but Sirius was remotely offended). Suddenly, Sirius realised that they had to fight, now. The death eaters were thick, and they hadn’t noticed that all of the noise had stopped and everyone surrounding them was gone, but surely one of them would realise soon enough that if the others weren’t fighting around them, there was only one place that they could be: behind them. Sirius looked desperately at Marlene, who turned to Sturgis and mouthed ‘NOW!’  
At first, Sirius wasn’t sure that Sturgis had gotten the message, but then he heard him say “Well, are you going to stand there, or actually do something? This really is quite boring.” Sirius heard the smirk in his voice. Top notch acting. He’d have to tell Sturgis that. If they both lived, of course.  
Sirius heard the majority of the death eaters growl. A death eater that Sirius somehow recognised (Wait! It was the one sleeping from the safe house!) spoke. “Oh, you want a fight?” He laughed. “We’ll give you a fight.” He looked around at the other masked figures, some of whom banished their masks (Sirius could only assume it was for dramatic effect) and nodded at all of them. They raised their wands. “NOW!” The death eater bellowed, and all of the Order members raised their wands and sent curses flying at the backs of death eaters. They didn’t focus on aim, because there were so many of them that each curse was bound to hit someone. Sirius could honestly say that he was shocked at how well their plan had worked. He’d thrown a crucio at Bellatrix (yes, he knew it was only technically allowed, and he could’ve done anything else, but she deserved it, there was no denying that) and once she’d stopped writhing all over the floor he shot a curse at her that he had learnt from all the times it had been used on Order members: the curse that leaves a great slash on your chest, a disabling slash that can only heal with time, a slash that, according to Lily and Dorcas, the most recent victims, ‘hurt like a motherfucker’. Bellatrix was wailing (she even sounded whiny when she was crying. If he died, he would haunt her SO bad) and Sirius kept firing aimlessly at the cluster of death eaters. He used that curse a few more times, and was growing particularly fond of it, mainly because the death eaters were so pissed that The Order was using their curses against them. Dorcas and Marlene were back to back, covering each other while throwing curses, or in Dorcas’ case, jinxes and hexes (she was the least violent person that Sirius knew, and they’d all just accepted that) at every death eater they saw. Remus and Sirius were in the same position. Perfect partners, the two couples were. Just perfect.  
Frank, James and Caradoc had taken Sturgis, Mundungus and Dedalus’ places in front of the crowd, who still couldn’t get away safely, however Sirius was greatly comforted by the fact that five of the best wizards he’d ever met were covering the innocent. They were cursing anyone who came near, while James simultaneously said comforting words to the crowd behind him. Remus whispered “Fatherhood instincts are already kicking in!” And Sirius responded with a chuckle, that was cut short by him ducking to avoid a killing curse.   
The fight remained vicious for minutes longer, before Moody turned up and threw some kind of curse at a death eater that made his spells rebound on someone else, and someone else spells rebound on their partner. Sirius couldn’t help but laugh at how confused they all looked. At that point, one of the death eaters went to apparate. Progress, Sirius thought. One down, nineteen to go.

For the next fifteen minutes, they all held their stances, and covered their partners, and did what they were told to do. No muggles had been harmed, or muggle borns, or any bystanders, and the only person injured was Caradoc, who seemed to have a broken wrist. Luckily, his wand hand was fine, and he managed to ignore what Sirius was sure had to be blinding pain to keep covering Frank and James. Two more death eaters had apparated away, Moody capturing one and throwing him aside, petrified, to take to the Ministry later. It must have been a particularly dangerous death eater, or at least a well-known one, Sirius assumed.   
Death eaters were slowly, but surely, apparating away, one by one, and Moody was capturing specific offenders for the Ministry to collect later. Sirius allowed himself a look at Lily and Alice, who were shooting hexes at death eaters from their hiding spot that made them slow down for a few seconds: enough time for them to be disabled. Women were fucking awesome, Sirius thought.   
So all in all, the battle was going quite well. It was currently in The Order’s favour, and it seemed as though it was quite possible that they could get out of this without anyone getting hurt.  
Then, Moody bellowed “NO!”  
All of the Order members, and the death eaters, glanced over at him. Lily and Alice were fuming, and Moody looked murderous. Someone had apparated to the battle.  
Peter fucking Pettigrew.  
“GET OUT PETER!” Marlene and Dorcas yelled in unison.  
“NOT THE TIME PETTIGREW! GO HOME, NOW!” One of the twins yelled.  
“LEAVE!” Sirius screamed, still duelling an unfamiliar face.  
“You don’t tell me what to do!” Peter yelled back, considerably quieter.  
“APPARATE AWAY. NOW! THAT’S AN ORDER!” Moody yelled at him. Sirius had never seen the Auror so angry.  
“I’m HELPING!” Peter yelled back, running into the middle of the battle.   
Every Order member screamed something then. Every response blurred together. Sirius heard ‘NO’, “FUCK OFF!’, ‘LEAVE’, and other assorted instructions, but Peter ignored them all.   
The small boy turned to a death eater, who was at least three times his size, and raised his wand. He shot a jinx at the cloaked man, which he effortlessly blocked, and retaliated by throwing a curse at Peter that threw him backwards immediately. At that point, everyone turned away. They were all duelling someone, and this was Peter’s problem.   
Suddenly, the voice Sirius was dreading yelled out “Aren’t you going to help me?!”  
Every Order member screamed “NO!” In unison.  
“WILL SOMEONE LET ME BE THEIR PARTNER?!” Peter shouted back. Even the death eaters found this display of desperation amusing.  
“NO!” They all chorused again.  
“FINE! I’LL WIN FOR YOU!” Peter screamed, standing up confidently. He bolted behind the death eaters who were firing at the bystanders, the twins, Caradoc, Frank and James. The death eaters noticed his presence, but cared so little that they didn’t even bother spelling him away. Peter raised his wand and pointed it at a death eater. He screamed “SECTUMSEMPRA!!”  
The next few seconds seemed to happen very slowly. Order members and death eaters alike stopped duelling to watch. Peter had fired the curse with such poor aim that it missed the death eater completely, giving time for then others to move out of the way. James and Caradoc were standing right next to each other, back to back in the position they had duelled in, and suddenly, Peter’s curse hit them both.   
Sirius watched as the two screamed in pain and dropped to the floor, cuts appearing all over their bodies, and blood pouring out of all of them. They stopped screaming seconds later, and started heaving. They couldn’t breathe. Sirius pressed the button on his bracelet immediately. Straight after, he went back to petrifying every death eater that he saw. They needed to disable them so that they could get James and Caradoc out of here. It seemed as if everyone had the same idea. Petrification spells flew across the pavement, hitting death eaters everywhere. The force of the spells was incredible, their magic powered by the need to save their friends.   
Sirius looked over and watched Peter raised his wand again. “NO!” Sirius screamed, as loud as he could.   
Peter was clearly aiming for Bellatrix as he yelled “CRUCIO!” Bellatrix stepped aside, and the spell hit someone in the crowd. Sirus watched as the body of a teen girl dropped to the ground, screaming and begging for the pain to stop.   
Peter froze. “PETER!” Remus yelled. “FINISH IT! NOW!”  
Peter looked at Sirius and quietly said “I don’t know how.”  
“FUCK!” The twins screamed, both at the bleeding Caradoc and James and the squealing muggle on the floor. Sirius knew that if this went on any longer it would kill her.

None of them knew what to do. Even Moody couldn’t reverse it. No one except the caster can finish an Unforgivable Curse. Suddenly, Dumbledore appeared out of thin air. A death eater charged at him, but Sirius stunned him and left someone else to finish the job.   
“Dumbledore, Peter, he crucio’d, he can’t fix it-“  
Dumbledore held his hand up. “Quiet. Over there.” He pointed for Sirius to leave.  
Dumbledore spoke to Peter for barely a minute, before Peter raised his wand, looking terrified. He muttered something, and a jet of light flew towards the girl, who instantly stilled.  
The twins went to check if she was breathing, and announced that she was.   
Sirius looked around. All of the death eaters had either run away, or were petrified, bound or restrained in a more creative fashion. Sirius couldn’t take his mind off Caradoc and James, who were bleeding out slowly. Dumbledore crouched down over their bodies and muttered some kind of spell that stopped the bleeding, and their moans were more subtle.  
“I can only hold the bleeding for now, and take some of the pain. We need to get them to the warehouse, and we need to get this girl to St Mungo’s.”  
Marlene and Dorcas stepped forward. “We’ll take her,” they offered.  
Dumbledore nodded. “Thank you. Emmeline will meet you there.”  
Sirius, Remus, Fabian, Gideon, Frank, would you help me lift Caradoc and James? We’ll have to apparate, which is risky, but the risk is greater if we take too long to get there.”  
Sirius and Remus lifted James, and a crying Lily held his hand. The twins and Frank helped lift Caradoc. Dumbledore instructed them all to link arms and apparate.

Suddenly, they were in the warehouse. Moody appeared moments later, announcing that the Ministry had picked up the remaining death eaters and Emmeline, Marlene and Dorcas were taking the young girl, who was a half-blood, to St Mungo’s. The ministry was performing memory charms on all of the muggles who had seen the goings on, under the pretence of free ice cream at the end of the line.   
Inside the warehouse, Caradoc and James were on stretchers, being lowered onto hospital beds. Madam Pomfrey had arrived, and, with Dumbledore’s assistance, was slowly healing the cursed wounds that covered the two boys’ bodies. Suddenly, they all jumped.  
“Ouch!” They cried in unison. Someone had pressed the button on the bracelets, which was odd, considering that none of them were actually at the scene of the battle. Moody sighed.  
“I’ll go. God knows what’s happening now. Sirius? Remus? Could you accompany me?”  
Sirius and Remus both nodded, thinking the same thing. They’d just allowed themselves a moment to relax, and now they were heading back. 

——————————————————————————

Moody, Remus and Sirius apparated to the palace gates. Their eyes all widened, and their jaws all dropped, at what they saw before them.   
Ministry officials, lying dead, and what Sirius could only assume were muggle-borns and half-bloods lying dead, or at least very close to death, around them.  
But who had pressed the button?  
Suddenly, Sirius saw a jet of light hit another bystander. He, Remus and Moody whipped around to the sight that they were all silently dreading. Marlene and Dorcas were duelling four death eaters. They were barely managing to hold off three, and the other one was cursing the bystanders rapidly.   
“Go!” Moody whispered quietly, hoping that the benefit of surprise would help them wipe out a death eater or two.Sirius and Remus fired at the two who were duelling Marlene, and Moody fired at the larger death eater, duelling Dorcas.  
Moody’s spell knocked the larger one to the ground. Sirius knew he recognised him: Dolohov. Great.  
Remus and Sirius’ spells caused the other two to stumble, but without the strength that Moody had gained from experience, the stunning spells weren’t strong enough to knock them over completely. The two death eaters turned to Sirius and Remus, and they were faced with two painfully familiar faces. Lestrange and Bellatrix.  
“Bloody hell!” Sirius couldn’t help but cry. “Cousin, do you have to ruin EVERYTHING?!”  
Bellatrix cackled. “You and your little boyfriend have no chance against us. We are the most powerful-“  
“You talk too much,” came a voice from behind the death eaters. Suddenly Bellatrix dropped straight to the ground. Marlene was behind her, looking triumphant.   
Sirius would have laughed, but there was still the Lestrange ‘issue’ standing in front of him. And the issue of the death eater casually murdering muggles to Sirius’ right. Moody was battling him, but the death eater was good, very good, and was managing to keep up with Moody as well as continue his killing spree. Sirius noticed that that particular death eater was still masked, yet he somehow recognised him. Odd, Sirius thought.  
“You knocked down my wife!” Lestrange shouted at Marlene, who was somehow still looking triumphant. He threw a jinx at her at the speed of light, and she fell to the floor.  
“And YOU knocked down MINE!” Dorcas yelled at the tall man, hitting him with a stunning spell so powerful that it not only tripped him over, but sent him flying backwards.  
Remus and Sirius were seriously impressed, and would’ve applauded, if not for the screams reminding them of the massacre just metres away.   
Sirius took over duelling the death eater, and realised that he must know this man. Every wand movement was familiar, and every step was recognisable. Sirius beckoned for Remus to take over, and stepped to the side. Focusing with all his might, he flung a curse that shattered the death eater’s mask.   
No. Fucking. Way.  
Severus. Fucking. Snape.

The Order members suddenly became more motivated to take him down, knowing that this man was not only a death eater, but also a tormenter, a bully, and a dark, dark wizard. Remus and Sirius threw curses at him, curses far more powerful than any that they dared use before. Marlene and Dorcas were ushering the unharmed muggles away, saying that they would come back for them soon. Moody was standing directly in front of the crowd of half-dead bystanders, looking furious.   
“Severus, is it?” Moody snarled, blocking a jinx effortlessly.  
“We prefer Snivellus actually,” said Sirius, nonchalantly, throwing a hex that made Snape stumble.  
“It has a bit more… spice. Just a bit more creative, I think,” Remus added, throwing a curse that lifted Snape off his feet and promptly threw him back on the ground.  
“You know who suggested using that name again?” Sirius smirked at Snape. “Lily Evans.”  
Snape violently shot a curse at Sirius, who ducked to avoid it.  
Moody was standing guard over the muggles, and he gestured for Remus and Peter to keep distracting Snape so that the girls could get them away.  
“Oh, did we mention she’s pregnant?” Remus smiled, flicking a curse that brought Snape to his knees. “James’ baby, too!”  
Snape yelled “Yes, we know! We all do! The prophecy told us!” Snape promptly clapped his hand over his mouth, clearly revealing something that he shouldn’t have.  
This instantly worried Sirius. The death eaters know, and they’re coming for the baby. In a fit of rage, Sirius fired a particularly vicious curse at Snape, that left him howling in pain as it hit him square in the jaw.   
Remus and Sirius allowed themselves a look at the crowd. Marlene and Dorcas had taken almost all of the alive, and half-alive, bodies to a safe place. Moody would stay with the others, and disable Snape when it was safe. Marlene mimed that they needed a few minutes, and Sirius let Remus take the lead on this one.  
“So, Snivellus, any girls lately? Or are you still pining after Lily? Maybe he’s moved onto guys now?” Remus suggested, glancing at Sirius.  
Snape smirked. That’s not good, Sirius realised. “Mentioning boys, have you told Black about your little werewolf boyfriend?”  
Sirius was alarmed. Werewolf boyfriend? No. Remus wouldn’t cheat. He just wouldn’t.  
“I-“ Remus blocked a curse, “DON’T-“ He threw a hex that Snape blocked, but only just, “HAVE-“ Remus rebounded Snape’s hex and watched the man’s left arm lose its bones, “A WEREWOLF-“ Remus blocked a curse flying towards him, “BOYFRIEND!” Remus yelled, finally casting the spell that left Caradoc and James cut and bleeding, barely alive.  
Snape wailed and dropped his wand, which Moody picked up and snapped.  
The muggles were all cleared, and Moody said he would stay to summon the Ministry and fight off the death eaters that would eventually turn up to collect Snape.  
Marlene, Dorcas, Remus and Sirius joined hands and apparated.

———————————————————————

Back in the warehouse, the conversation was scarce for the next few hours. James and Caradoc would live, Madam Pomfrey announced, however it would take days for them to heal completely, and they would be on bedrest until further notice.  
No one mentioned Peter. In fact, the topic was expertly avoided, no one wanting to acknowledge that Peter had essentially destroyed their battle, their plans, cursed an innocent, cursed James and Caradoc into oblivion, defied Dumbledore’s direct orders, and somehow gotten himself un-petrified to do all of it.  
Sirius was also thinking about Remus’ ‘werewolf boyfriend’.

Sirius was lying on Remus’ lap, Dorcas was lying on Marlene’s, Alice was lying on Frank’s. Sturgis and Dedalus were squished on a couch with a bored looking Mundungus. The Prewetts were sitting by Caradoc’s bed as the man slept, and Lily was sitting next to James’ holding his hand and sobbing quietly.  
One of the Prewetts, (Gideon?) started to cry, an incredibly rare occurrence, judging by the reaction of others in the room.  
Frank suddenly stood up. “Alright.” He said defiantly. “Are we going to talk about this? Or are we just going to ignore it and pretend he didn’t happen?!” Frank exclaimed, clearly frustrated.  
Dumbledore gave a dramatic sigh. “Yes, well, I guess we should talk about it. I know what my concerns are, but I would like to have an open conversation about yours. One by one, and no interrupting, please.” Dumbledore pointed at Alice. “We may as well start here.”  
Alice stood up. “Well. There is a lot wrong with what he-“ she said ‘he’ with admirable distaste, “-did today. And I’m sure that all of it will be pointed out. My main issue is the fact that he didn’t just interrupt the battle, he didn’t just distract people, he tried to take over. He had no respect for anyone, and he was selfish. Being selfish in these battles is how people get hurt.” She said finally, and sat down.  
Dumbledore nodded. “Alice, thank you. You have been heard. Mundungus?”  
Mundungus sighed, not even bothering to get up. “Look. I didn’t want to be there, but it felt good to do good, y’know? And I was doing pretty good, I think, I was actually helping, until I was fuckin’ elbowed out of the way by rat-face Pettigrew, who decided that using an Unforgivable Curse without knowing the counter-spell was a fantastic idea. He stopped us doing our jobs. He stopped us protecting people. That’s my problem.” Mundungus finished, crossing his arms.  
“Thank you, Mr Fletcher,” Dumbledore acknowledged. “Sturgis? Dedalus?”The two men stood up, and Sturgis began. “My problem,” he began, desperately trying to remain calm, “is that a person who had been prohibited from that battle, and deemed unfit for field work, decided that he was more important than the objectives of The Order.” Sturgis sat down.  
Dedualus continued. “My problem is that a wizard who was not trained for combat, and definitely didn’t have the level of skill that was required for that battle, used spells that he had never used before in a life or death situation. My problem is that he disobeyed direct orders from the head of this organisation, even after he was given good reasons for the decisions made, and put all of our lives in danger, simply so he could be seen as a ‘hero’.” Dedalus sat next to Sturgis, leaning back against the couch.  
“Thank you,” Dumbledore nodded at both of the men. “You have been heard. Gideon and Fabian? Do you have anything to say?”  
Gideon stood up first. “Do I have something to say? Yeah. WE have something to say,” he added, gesturing to his brother.  
Fabian stood up next to him. “We would like to say that somehow who we consider our brother is currently lying in a hospital bed, bleeding half to death.”  
Gideon added, “And not because of a death eater! He is bleeding half to death because of someone on OUR SIDE! Someone who knows better! Someone who only did this…” Gideon trailed off, trying to find the words.  
“Because he’s a selfish fucking bastard!” Fabian finished for him. “A selfish fucking bastard who almost killed our brother! And a selfish bastard who, I would like to a dd, had absolutely no spells shot at him the entire time! If you’re looking for a spy-“  
“THERE HE IS!” Fabian and Gideon shouted in unison, falling down onto the bench next to Caradoc’s bed, and dropping their heads into their hands.  
Sirius had to admit, they had a pretty good point.  
Dumbledore gave an understanding smile to the boys. “Thank you boys. That was brave. Lily?” She was still sobbing. “Would you like to speak later?”  
She shook her head and wiped her tears, standing up (with help from McGonagall.). “I’ll speak now. I’ll speak because Caradoc and James took that curse knowing what would happen, just to protect the people behind him. They took that curse, because these two are more hurt by someone from our side than they ever have been by death eaters. They took this curse,” her face was red with rage, “because they are braver than Peter will ever be. Peter ran into a battleground, knowing the people would protect him. But my HUSBAND, is lying, on the edge of DEATH, because he will always protect the innocent. And I’m one hundred percent sure that everyone in this room would do the SAME THING.” Lily sat down, shaking with rage.  
Even Dumbledore looked pissed as she put it like that. “Thank you for speaking up, Lily.” She nodded, and returned to holding James’ hand. “Marlene?”  
Marlene, who was scowling, stood up, arms crossed. “Right. Today, I saw the most cowardly display I have ever witnessed in a battle, or even in duelling club at school. I witnessed someone burst into a battlefield, get yelled at by EVERYONE telling him to please, desperately, get out. I witnessed innocent people get scarred for life from the image of a teenage girl, no older than thirteen, being tortured in front of their eyes, knowing that there was nothing they could do about it. I witnessed someone curse their FRIENDS to the point where they were bleeding to death. We ALL witnessed this. And none of you can deny that it was absolutely fucking disgusting.” Marlene sat down violently, making Dorcas shake.  
Dumbledore looked irritated. “All good points, Marlene. Thank you. Dorcas?”  
Dorcas stood up slowly. She was shaking, but not with anger, with something else. Fear, sadness… who knows. But it was desperate, and it broke Sirius’ heart.  
“Mine isn’t a problem. It is THE problem. It’s the fact that there are two incredibly powerful wizards lying, half-dead, less than ten metres away from me. It’s the fact that a young, innocent girl, no older than what would be this year, was tortured, for a minute, not seconds, because someone took a risk at a time where risks should not be taken. It’s the fact that that girl will never be the same again. You get crucio’d for ten seconds and you don’t stop hurting for days. You get crucio’d for a minute, you spend the rest of the year scared and aching. You-“  
Sirius knew that Dorcas was still speaking, but suddenly he understood the magnitude of what had happened. He had been tortured, constantly, while growing up. He’d been tortured for no reason at all sometimes, and he was scarred to this day. Dorcas was right. Once he had been crucio’d for a minute and he felt broken for a year, maybe more, afterwards. Regulus broke too. He broke from seeing it, and knowing that there was nothing that he could do. Sirius suddenly knew what he had to say.  
“Anyway. Yeah.” Dorcas finished.  
Dumbledore nodded gently at her. “Thank you Dorcas. You’ve been heard.” Dumbledore shifted his gaze to Sirius. “Sirius?”  
Sirius stood up, Remus nodding at him, telling him he could do it. “Well, my problems are all of the other problems you guys have, but there’s something else. When you’re in the position we were in, in front of innocent people, we can’t just do whatever we want. Some of those people are wizards, or squibs, and won’t be obliviated. They will have to live with the memory of watching a girl get tortured, and the memory of two boys falling to the floor, blood pouring from all over their bodies. My brother-“ Sirius choked up, but swallowed, and forced himself to continue, “-watched me being tortured since I was five years old. He broke more and more each time he saw it, or remembered it, or heard it. Those people are going to have to deal with that memory, because Peter wanted to play hero. That’s all I have to say.” Sirius sat down, and tried not to cry.  
Dumbledore looked at Sirius sadly. “I’m sorry, Sirius. We all are.” Sirius looked up to see the whole room nodding in agreement. “Remus, do you have anything to say?”  
Remus shook his head. “It’s all covered, Sir.”  
Dumbledore nodded, and continued. “I’m sorry, and we all are, Sirius. And you’re right. You are completely right in knowing that this was not okay, this was not right, this was not fair. I think Alastor-“ Dumbledore turned to nod at Moody, “agrees with me too.”  
Moody nodded. “Too right I do!”  
“So,” Dumbledore began, “Here’s what we’re going to-“  
Suddenly, a loud crack echoed through the warehouse. They all instinctually raised their wands and whipped around.They thought it could’ve been a death eater, a dark wizard, or Voldemort himself, but the sight they were faced with was so much worse.  
Standing in front of them, looking completely unscathed, was Peter fucking Pettigrew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for sticking around.  
> Love you all.


	22. Two Births Later - Remus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two months later, a recovered friendship and two new babies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a longer one to make up for not being as active! I'm doing my best!  
> Enjoy x

Remus was sitting in a coffee shop. A muggle coffee shop. He was reading, and drinking tea, and he knew he couldn’t forget what was happening, but he’d be damned if he didn’t try his hardest.

Remus was avoiding Sirius. And James, and Lily, and now he thinks of it, Marlene, Dorcas, Alice and Frank too. After everything that’s happened since the raid with Peter, Remus just thought it would be safer to be alone.

You see, here’s what happened.

—————————————————————————  
TWO MONTHS AGO

Peter arrived in the warehouse and was promptly yelled at for fifteen minutes before Dumbledore yelled “SILENCE!” And everyone stopped speaking.  
“I think,” Dumbledore spoke, calmly, “That we should all sit down. We are adults. And this needs to be spoken about in a way that is just.” Even though everyone in the room wanted to say that nothing about this was just (Remus suspected Dumbledore thought the same) they reluctantly nodded and sat down on the couches, glaring at Peter with all their might. Remus risked a glance at Moody, and immediately looked away. If looks could kill, Remus realised, Moody’s stare would have annihilated Peter on the spot.  
Peter. Yes, well, he was still standing, awkwardly, having completely lost the air of confidence that he presented when he first apparated.  
“Peter, it’s best that you sit down,” Dumbledore sighed, summoning a chair next to himself. Peter looked like he wanted to say ‘no thank you’, but they all knew that it wasn’t a question.  
Peter sat in the chair, and that look that the Marauders all knew so well spread across his face. The look he wore when he got caught for a prank. The look he wore when he got caught copying homework. The look of being caught out, in general. No one wore it as well, or as often, as Peter Pettigrew.  
The silence was deafening, and Dumbledore finally spoke. “So, Peter. Is there anything you would like to say for yourself?” Dumbledore’s eyes weren’t twinkling, and his lips didn’t curl up at the edges, hiding a faint smile. He simply looked at Peter, emotionless, and somehow Remus found that more unnerving than if Dumbledore’s eyes were full of rage.  
Peter nodded. “Yes. It was stupid, but I’m glad I came-“  
“Sorry, but I’m going to stop you right there.” Lily announced, standing up. “There is no possible reason you should be ‘glad’ you came. That was an absolute disaster, because of you. We were doing well, and you turned up.”  
“I distracted them!” Peter pleaded. He didn’t sound like he believed it, either.  
Lily scoffed, and stepped aside. “Take a look. Take a look at my husband, and at Caradoc, lying in those beds, sedated, because if they were awake they would be in too much pain to cope.” Peter averted his eyes. “I asked you-“ she growled, “-to look.” Peter glanced at the beds, and looked immensely guilty.   
Remus expected Dumbledore to interrupt Lily, to tell her we should talk about this calmly, but even he seemed intrigued at what she was going to say next. Sirius was hiding a smile next to Remus. They both loved a Lily monologue.  
“Peter, have you ever used that spell before?” Lily asked him, strangely calmly.  
He didn’t say anything, just shook his head.  
Lily stepped closer to him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t quite hear you. Have you EVER used that spell before?!”  
Peter muttered “No.”   
Lily stepped back. “Well. That’s all I’ve got. I think Dorcas and Sirius have something to say.” Lily gestured at them, and took her seat next to James.  
Remus was confused. Why did they… Oh, right. They were the ones affected by the crucio the most.  
Sirius stood up and grabbed Dorcas’ hand, facing Peter.  
Dorcas was tearing up, so Sirius began. “Peter. Do you remember when I ran away from home, when I left my brother, when I left behind an impressive inheritance, and had my name blasted off my family tapestry?” Peter didn’t respond. “I asked if you remembered,” Sirius said, sternly.  
Peter nodded. “Yeah. You moved in with James.”  
Sirius smiled wickedly. “Very good, Peter. Great to know you have memory left. Do you know why I left? Actually, I don’t have the patience to ask you three times just to get a response out of you. I left because I was being tortured, every day. I left because I was being tortured with the Cruciatus Curse every. single. day. Now, the thing is, if I had done something wrong, something deserving of that punishment, like pushing Reg down the stairs or something-“  
“Which still isn’t worthy of that punishment!” Dorcas added, the rest of them nodding.   
“Exactly. If I had done something worthy of that punishment, I would’ve taken it. I would’ve dealt with the pain, and accepted my punishment. But the reason, dear Wormtail-“ Sirius said the name with pure revulsion, “-that I left home, was because I did NOT deserve that. It’s ironic, really, that you were one of the people that made me realise that.” Sirius took a breath, before he continued, his voice measured and calm now. “My brother became a death eater because I left him. That curse was so terrible that I was selfish enough to lose him over it. I learnt how to manage it before I was ten, and every time I see it, every time I cast it, even when it’s the only option, I break a little bit inside.” Remus noticed Sirius wipe away a tear. “And the last thing I’ll tell you-“ Sirius turned around and opened his arms, “-the last thing I’ll tell all of you-“ he turned back to Peter “is that the use of that curse means I’m on Madam Pomfrey’s potion. The one for trauma, and what the muggle’s call depression. That girl… she’ll be like me. I know it, we all know it. And I’m pretty sure you know it too.”  
Sirius whispered in Dorcas’ ear “Can I sit?” And she nodded, mouthing that she could do this herself.  
“Peter, I don’t have much to say to you. I don’t think you deserve my attention, frankly. The girl? The one you tortured? Yeah, she’s out of her mind. She keeps asking for them to kill her. She can’t stop screaming. Neither could half the other people in the crowd, before Marlene and I set a charm to calm them. And something that I’ve just realised you don’t know, is that because James and Caradoc were literally dying, and because that girl was out of her mind, we had to leave. We had to get them back here, and Marlene and I were meant to take the girl to St Mungo’s. Emmeline turned up, but that wasn’t of much help, considering that after she was gone, Dolohov, Snape, Bellatrix and Lestrange all turned up for round two. There was two of us, and as much as I would like to say we are amazing wizards, we are, but the most powerful of us were here, saving the lives of our others. Marlene and I had to duel three of them while one of them killed all of the bystanders. All of those innocent people were dying, and all that we could do was watch. We couldn’t help. If we stopped duelling, they’d kill us, and then we couldn’t help anyway. If Moody and Remus and Sirius hadn’t turned up, we’d be dead-“ Dorcas gestured to herself and Marlene, “-and everyone in that crowd would be dead, too.”  
As she took a breath, Peter spoke. “But everyone’s okay, so what’s the problem?”  
Marlene laughed maniacally. “Everyone’s safe? Did you know that there were thirty-something people in that crowd? And that only ten of them survived?”  
Peter dropped his jaw.  
Marlene stood up next to her wife. “Yeah. Because you hurt our strongest wizards and forced us all to leave, to abandon our almost flawless plan, twenty half-bloods, muggle-borns, squibs and muggles, muggles who had no idea what was happening, they’re all dead. They’re dead, because you turned up when you were specifically ordered to stay the fuck away.”  
“Thats not my-“ Peter tried to speak, but Marlene interrupted him.  
“Sorry, Pettigrew, but that blood is on YOUR HANDS.” Marlene grabbed Dorcas’ wrist, and they both sat down, fuming.  
Dumbledore, still straight-faced, asked “Does anyone else have something to say? Before Alastor, Miverna and I begin?”  
The Prewett’s raised their hands. “Gideon? Fabian? Please, begin,” Dumbledore seemed like he was trying to smile, but just couldn’t bring himself too.  
They stood up, and Gideon cleared his throat. “Yes. We would just like to say that we’re ninety-nine percent sure that you’re the spy.”  
Peter tried to interrupt before Fabian raised his hand to silence him. “And, we also know that you’re going to die a virgin.” Everyone hid their laughs, including, to Remus’ delight, McGonagall. Peter looked outraged, but Gideon said “Anyway, that’s all from us.” and gave an enthusiastic thumbs up to Dumbledore, that, to the entire group’s delight, Dumbledore subtly returned.

“Well,” Dumbledore said, standing up. “I think that our points have been made. Before we all discuss the steps moving forward, Alastor, Miverna and I have one question.”  
Peter raised his head. “Yes, Professor?” Peter gave an odd smile, trying to suck up to Dumbledore. As if that would EVER work.  
“How did you undo the spell, and how did you know about the apparition point?”  
Peter suddenly looked very nervous. “Well, I overheard you talking about the apparition point-“ Blatant lie, which they acknowledged through private looks, “-and I got out of the spell through windless magic.” Peter finished confidently.  
Remus finally got sick of his shit. “Alright, Peter, firstly, you didn’t overhear us, and secondly, you’ve never done windless magic in your life, let alone wandless magic advanced enough for you to free yourself from a petrification spell!” Everyone else murmured their agreement.  
“I did!” Peter cried, very unconvincingly.  
They all just rolled their eyes, and Dumbledore regained their attention by coughing. “However you did it Peter, you disobeyed by direct orders, and however you did manage to get to the battle, it was with illegal magic, I am sure of it. Because of this, we have decided, Alastor, Miverna, Edgar and I, as the head’s of this organisation, that you are suspended from field work, paper work, training, and all other Order-related activities. You are banned from this warehouse until further notice, and if you do not apologise to Lily and Alice for insulting their pregnancies, to Marlene, Dorcas, Sirius and Remus for being blatantly homophobic and if you do not apologise profusely to Remus for the werewolf comment, I can assure you that you will never step foot in this warehouse again.  
“Sorry,” Peter mumbled.  
Dumbledore chuckled. “Oh, Peter, not like that! These people had to go and battle after they were insulted to their core. I expect you to give them formal, private apologies. That is, if you ever want to step foot here again.”  
Peter sighed and nodded.   
“Very well,” Dumbledore sighed. “This is not something that I wanted to do. It really isn’t. But Peter, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. There are people here with conditions that can be triggered by the behaviour you have been exhibiting, and that is simply not fair.” Remus squeezed Sirius’ hand, knowing just what Dumbledore was talking about. 

———————————————————————————————

So, that was the disaster of the interrupted battle. Since then, Peter had reformed, genuinely, it appeared, and was hanging out with the group again, and everyone seemed to have forgiven him (apart from Marlene, who glared at him every change she got, and the Prewetts, who found wonderful insults to throw at him during training). Soon enough, it was July 27th, Alice’s due date, and Lily’s was only four days away. Frank and James were freaking out about being fathers. Sirius was more scared than James, (“Remus! What if it doesn’t like me?!”), Peter seemed pretty relaxed about the whole situation, Marlene hated children but Dorcas had convinced her that when they were your friend’s, and your own, they were wonderful, Alice was incredibly emotional, Lily was angry that she had to go through childbirth, but Remus? Remus had never been so happy. Two tiny little baby things in their lives. It made him want one. Brilliant.

Sirius and Remus were lying in bed that morning, after fantastic morning sex, when there was banging on the door, so extreme that Remus literally fell out of bed.  
“FUCKING HELL PRONGS! IT’S FUCK O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING! SHUT UP!” Sirius shouted. Remus chose not to question how Sirius knew it was Prongs.  
Remus got to the door first, opening it to find an incredibly exasperated James. “How did you know it was me?” He asked, sweating.  
Sirius swaggered into the room, answering “I know your knock. Now what could be so important that you’re knocking-“  
“ALICE IS IN LABOUR, YOU TWAT!” James yelled.  
Sirius and Remus almost fell over.   
“Jackets,” Remus glanced at Sirius.  
“On it.” Sirius nodded, and bolted to the bedroom, returning with two jackets. “Right. Let’s go.”

———————————————————————————————

THE FIRST BIRTH

Moments later, Sirius, Remus, Dorcas, Marlene, Peter, James and a very pregnant Lily showed up at the Longbottom’s.  
Lily rang the door bell, and turned to the others, whispering “Do any of you understand the appeal of a home birth?”They all shrugged, Remus answering “I don’t know. You’ll have to ask Alice.”

The door swung open, and a woman they’d only met once stood behind it, beaming, and ushering them all to come in. Remus hadn’t spoken to Alice’s mother much at the wedding, and he didn’t know her well enough to ask how she was, so he awkwardly entered the large flat with a nod at the woman, and followed the others into the lounge room.   
“Right, so, where are they?” Dorcas asked quietly.  
“Probably tried to run. Shame the baby goes wherever she does,” Marlene scowled.  
Dorcas rolled her eyes. “Marls, just you wait until they’re born. You’ll never want to leave them alone, I swear.”  
Marlene furrowed her brows. “I hope you’re right, otherwise dinner is baby pot pie.”  
A wretching sound escaped Lily’s mouth. “Oi!” James said to Marlene. “Pregnant woman! Right here! Pregnant best friend! No eating of babies when you have pregnant best friend!” James exclaimed, rubbing Lily’s back.  
Marlene looked incredibly guilty. “Sorry, Lily. I think I’m just scared I’ll, I don’t know, break them, or something. They’re so small, and I’m a tornado, you know?”  
Lily nodded and said something incomprehensible. “She says she appreciates it, and you won’t break her baby, and she also added that, and I quote, ‘James was probably dropped on his head a few times and he turned out just fine!’, so she thinks you’ll do a good job.” James recounted for his still panting wife.  
“JUST GIVE ME. ONE. MINUTE!” A scream came from the bedroom, and a very cross old woman bustled out. Remus’ senses must have betrayed him, because it appeared as though Alice just yelled at Augusta Longbottom. The friends all looked at each other in alarm, and slowly approached the bedroom, careful not to make any noises that could set the frustrated woman off. Dorcas knocked on the door, and slowly opened it, saying “Alice? Can we come-“  
“I SAID, GIVE ME A MINUTE!” Alice screamed again.  
Dorcas opened the door fully, and stood looking mystified at the scene before them. Remus didn’t understand the reaction, until he stepped inside and suddenly wore the same face.  
Alice was lying on the bed, seemingly relaxed, if not for the massive belly and the random outbursts of rage. Frank appeared to have been banished off the bed, as he was now sitting in a chair next to the bed, looking anxious, and frankly, quite frightened of his wife.   
Suddenly, Remus had a horrifying realisation. “Sirius? Could you come out with me for a moment?” Remus used his ‘stern voice’, so no one could question what was going on. They just assumed that Sirius was in trouble, and Remus was sure that brought them all a great deal of joy in a stressful environment.  
Once they’d reached the lounge room, Sirius looked up nervously at Remus. “Am I in trouble?” Sirius whimpered.  
Remus smiled at the boy and kissed him on the forehead. “No, baby, you’re never in trouble, remember? Never. Okay?” Remus asked Sirius, lifting the smaller boy’s chin to make eye contact.  
Sirius nodded. “Okay, so what is it?”  
Just as Remus opened his mouth, he saw a frantic looking old woman push her way into the bed room.   
“Oh, no,” Sirius mumbled.  
“AUGUSTA. THERE WILL BE A BABY COMING OUT OF ME VERY SOON, SO UNTIL THEN, COULD YOU GIVE ME SOME BLOODY SPACE?!”  
Augusta didn’t seem to be moving, and Remus heard a second yell, more of a screech this time. “FRAAAANNNKKKKK!”  
Moments later, Augusta stalked out of the room, frowning intensely, led out by a very guilty looking Frank.  
Sirius and Remus pushed their laughter down. “Moony! What did you want to tell me?!”  
Remus scoffed quietly. “If this is Alice giving birth, what do you think LILY will be like?”  
They both burst into laughter, and muffled it with their hands. Once they had calmed down, Sirius looked up at Remus. “Remus?”  
“Yeah, baby?”  
Sirius glanced at the bedroom and then back into Remus eyes. “I want one.”  
Remus utterly beamed. This was perfect. “I really want one, too.”  
They both leaned in for a kiss, which was interrupted by a noise of complete disgust emitted from Augusta Longbottom. Remus pulled back, and looked at her apologetically, while Sirius just scowled at her, and strutted back into the bedroom.   
Remus followed, but on the way back, he caught Augusta saying “They’re two men! Kissing! In your house! How are you okay with this, Frank?!”  
Remus kept walking, but glanced backwards to see Frank smiling at him. “I don’t know, mum. But they’re my best friends, and they’re happy.”   
Remus entered the room, which was far more calm than moments before, and he shut the door behind him, as it had been shut before.   
Remus dropped his jaw. Dorcas had learnt how to produce music from her wand, a skill Remus had only slightly learnt, and a skill that Dorcas had absolutely mastered. The light music of a harp was filling the room as James (undoubtedly feeling very emasculated) managed to produce a light pink glow from all of the walls. The room suddenly smelt like lavender, and Lily and Marlene were holding Alice’s hands. Remus grabbed Sirius’ hand and they smiled at each other. Lily was faintly leading Alice through breathing exercises that Remus knew she had taught Sirius when he had panic attacks at school, and for a woman who was in a lot of pain, Alice seemed very calm, apart from the wincing every few minutes.  
They all summoned stools that they could move out of the way if they needed to, and sat, just basking in the peace that was surrounding them. This was, undoubtedly, the most calm atmosphere they’d been in together since school ended, and they were all thinking the same thing; that this was wonderful.  
Frank opened the door and the lights turned back on, much to everyone’s discomfort, but James whispered something to him, and he closed the door behind him. The lights changed, the music resumed, and Frank walked over to the side of the bed Marlene was on.   
“Alice? Honey? Can I lie with you?” Frank asked softly. He mouthed ‘Is that okay?’ To Marlene, who nodded, and summoned a stool next to Dorcas, who was swaying with the music.   
“Yeah. Yeah sweetheart, yes.” Alice said, grabbing his hand. He lay down next to Alice. Alice, who was breathing with Lily, who was holding her left hand, and smiling at Frank, who was next to her, on her right.  
Everything was peaceful for the next few minutes, and then Alice let out a whimper, which they ignored. A minute later, another. A minute later, yet another, but slowly they became more exasperated and she sounded more distressed, until finally she let out a yelp.  
Frank shot up. “Babe?”  
She shook her head. “No, no. I’m fine. I’m fine like this. This is nice. Baby can wait.”  
They all sighed. “You know, Alice, the baby can’t wait, and if you don’t get it out, it might not be okay,” Remus said quietly.  
Suddenly, Alice’s eyes burst open. “My baby? Not okay? No. Love my baby.” Remus noticed she had lost the ability to form coherent speech, but, you know, childbirth, so they let it slide.  
“Exactly honey! Your baby! Our baby! Do you think it’c coming?” Frank asked kindly.  
She frowned, but nodded her head. “Yeah. Guess it is.” Frank went to say something, and then became very silent. He felt bringing up Augusta was the perfect way to ruin a wonderful moment. Alice must have noticed this, because she smiled at him and squeezed his hand. “Get your mum. Just talk out there for a minute, and then bring her in. If that’s okay?”Frank nodded and kissed her on the forehead. “Of course that’s okay, my wonderful woman. I’ll see you in a minute,” he smiled, and interrupted the lights again to exit the room.   
Marlene awkwardly raised her hand, making Alice chuckle. “Yes, Miss McKinnon?”  
Marlene didn’t even laugh, she was so scared of offending the pregnant woman, and being shunned like Augusta. “Um, Alice, why are you having a home birth?”  
Alice looked furious for a moment, and then her face softened and she sighed. “Augusta’s a trained midwife. She thought she could, you know, do a better job than they did in the hospitals.”  
Marlene gasped. “But Frank-“  
Alice just waved her off. “Nah, I agreed to it. It’s my fault. I think-“ she screamed, and then continued calmly (Sirius and Remus agreed that that was incredibly disturbing), “I think that it will be good. I just think I also could have definitely lived my life without my mother-in-law staring in between my legs, but, you know, you win some, you lose some, right?” Alice smiled at Marlene, and while still looking at her for a moment, she screamed and squeezed Lily’s hand so hard that Lily noticeably grimaced.   
Lily smiled and looked at all of them. “Just so you know, I won’t be nearly as calm. Have you met me? Imagine normal angry me, a million times louder, AND in pain,” she smirked at her husband.  
James put his head in his hands, but they all knew he was smiling.Alice seemed to have calmed again, so Peter piped up for the first time. “So, have you thought about name-“  
He was interrupted by Alice screaming, the longest and loudest that she had screamed yet, and Peter looked guilty. “No, Peter, it’s not you, it’s the blasted baby, it’s-“ and she screamed again.  
Marlene looked genuinely terrified, Sirius and Remus were trying their damn hardest not to look even slightly amused at the fact that they were going to have a baby and there would be no screaming on their parts, and no pushing of living things out of tiny orifices.   
“Frank,” Alice panted. “What did you say honey?” Lily asked kindly, moving closer.  
“Frank!” She repeated.  
Peter nodded. “I’ll get him.” The small boy got up and left the room momentarily, bringing Frank and a slightly (but only slightly) less cross Augusta with him.  
Frank returned to his position on Alice’s left, and Augusta placed a variety of disturbing instruments on the bed. (Sirius and Remus later discussed that the most disturbing was her wand. What on EARTH could she need her wand for to assist in childbirth?!)  
“Right,” Augusta began, clapping her hands, “We can probably only fit four in here, plus Frank and I, and obviously Alice,” she clarified to a confused looking Peter.  
The boys all went to leave, but Alice cried “Wait!” And they all spun around. “I want Lily, and Marls, and Dorcas, obviously, but… Remus? Will you stay?”  
Remus hadn’t felt so privileged in a long time. “Of course Alice. Of course I’ll stay.” Remus gave Sirius a kiss (earning another look from Augusta, who then received a look from Alice and Frank) and Sirius left the room.   
While Augusta was preparing (whatever that meant) Marlene and Dorcas smiled at each other, and give each other a peck on the lips.   
They, also, earned a glare from Augusta, who seemed surprised when she received a glare from Alice and Frank, who then received a glare from Lily, who didn’t want the couple arguing with the woman about to deliver their baby.  
“Is everyone around here gay?” Augusta muttered to herself, and Dorcas clapped a hand over Marlene’s mouth before she could start an argument. Alice’s parents came in for a minute, just to wish them good luck (Remus wasn’t sure what they weren’t staying, but he also didn’t want to ask), and the three boys sent James’ and Peter’s patronus’ into the room (which, to Alice and Marlene’s obvious pleasure, almost gave Augusta a heart attack).  
“Hi, I was just going to wish you both good luck and I hope your baby isn’t like, broken, or something-“ Remus heard James yell ‘unhelpful’ in the background of the patronus speaking “-anyway, um, yeah. Good luck. From Wormtail”, the rat spoke, making Alice panic about a broken baby, but also laugh at Peter’s idiocy.  
Then, the stag emitted a voice. “Oi, Frank, Alice, I’m hoping this part doesn’t hurt like a bitch, mainly so you guys are okay, but also because we’re doing this in a few days and I’m not going to be too happy if it hurts a lot. Anyway, good luck, love you both, Prongs. Also, Moony, Padfoot didn’t want to send his patronus because he’s a chicken.”  
This left all of them looking at Remus, confused, Remus was probably more confused than all of them combined. The room was under a silencing spell, and they were under strict instructions not to leave, so Remus summoned a patronus and he, along with everyone in the room, apart from Augusta who couldn’t care less, gasped. Remus’ patronus had been a wolf, ever since the first time he cast the spell. But in front of him, clear as day, was a dog. Not just a dog, it was Padfoot, glowing in patronus form. Remus was embarrassed, but then he just smiled and spoke. “Padfoot always has been a chicken. We’re fine. Love, Moony. Also, birth thing over here, so not more patronuses”. The dog bounded through the wall.

For the next four hours (apparently that’s how long it had been? The screams all blended into each other at some point), Remus, Lily, Marlene and Dorcas focused on calming down Alice while Augusta yelled “PUSH!” in the least comforting way possible. At some point, Marlene resorted to calming down Frank, who seemed to be freaking out even more than Alice was, which was quite a feat, considering there was quite literally a head coming out of her body at that very moment.  
Finally, Augusta spoke calmly, and kindly, which shocked Alice into submission when she was asked to give ‘one final push’.   
Remus watched Alice’s face screw up, and this time she was trying so intensely that no noise came out of her mouth.  
Them, Remus heard what he quickly decided was the most magical noise in the world. There was a baby. Augusta was holding a baby, and it was crying. Crying would suck to most people, Remus assumed, but to him, the fact that the baby was crying meant that it could feel. The baby could feel, and it could cry, which meant it could also smile, and laugh, and grow. The baby was crying because the baby was alive.

Augusta cleaned up the baby and Lily distracted Alice while Frank cut the umbilical chord (smart decision, Remus thought. No new mother wants to see someone cutting her baby). Then, Augusta wrapped the baby in a tiny towel, and handed them to Alice. At this point, Remus realised that no one except Frank and Augusta actually knew the gender.  
Alice shed a tear, and looked up at Augusta, with a questioning look in her eyes. Augusta smiled back at her. “Darling, it’s a boy. A healthy, beautiful boy.”  
Suddenly, and Remus had to blink to be sure that hie eyes were not deceiving him, the two women were holding hands and confessing their love for the new family.  
Remus knew Lily was sobbing, because pregnancy hormones mixed with a childbirth would just be a tragic combination. Remus knew he was crying, too, because one look at that beautiful baby was enough to bring anyone to tears. Dorcas was crying, and smiling, while clutching onto Marlene, and although if anyone ever asked her she would definitely deny it, Marlene shed a tear.  
“Do you have a name?” Remus asked softly.   
Alice and Frank made eye contact and nodded at each other. “Yeah, we do. Bring everyone in, but tell them to shut up,” Frank smiled.   
Remus nodded and left the room.  
“Oi you numpties! Baby’s here!”  
The boys all shot up and followed Remus back into the bedroom. James and Sirius started crying instantly, but Peter pretended to cry, when he clearly wasn’t. Remus thought that was beyond odd, but there was a baby, so it didn’t matter right now

“So?” Sirius asked, smiling at the new parents. “Gender? Name?”  
Frank smiled and sat next to Alice, holding the sleeping baby’s hand. “He’s a boy,” Frank smiled.  
Alice looked up, tears in her eyes. “His name is Neville.”

———————————————————————————

THE SECOND BIRTH

Sirius and Remus didn’t get back until midnight the night of Neville’s birth. They tried as hard as possible to stay positive, and be happy for the couple, but unfortunately all that Remus could focus on was the war raging outside of their four walls. Sirius and Remus spoke about it, only briefly, but they spoke about it, about how that baby would grow up during a war, and how James’ and Lily’s baby probably would too..

Remus brushed his teeth and fell into bed, holding onto Sirius, holding onto one of his only sources of happiness, and one of his only sources of hope. Remus drifted off to sleep, and he dreamt of death.

The next few days were full of Order work. Alice and Frank brought Neville to the warehouse some days, days when they knew that The Order needed more help. Lily came every day. She mainly lay on the couch the entire time, slowly decoding messages between death eaters, her head propped up on a pillow and a muggle pen between her teeth. Lily was probably the most clever person that Remus had ever met, including Dumbledore. She was nine months pregnant, it was her due date, yet she wasn’t in bed, reading or listening to the radio and having a nap, instead she was lying on a couch in a massive, bare warehouse, decoding war scripts at an incredible speed. She deciphered a code that Dumbledore himself couldn’t crack after three days of working on it. She decoded the message in an hour.  
Piles of notes and parchment and scrolls lay on the floor next to her, and she was scribbling away frantically and Remus heard her yell “A-ha!”, the sound that he heard roughly ever hour, meaning she’d solved another code. The pile was growing, and she began looking increasingly uncomfortable. Everyone ignored it and brushed it off as a Lily Evans study look, but it wasn’t. It was the look that Alice had in her eyes when she had contractions.  
Remus walked over to the couch and looked down at Lily. “Lily?”  
She looked up at him, smiling. “Yeah, Rem?”  
“Will you stand up for me?” He smiled.  
Now she was uncomfortable. “Ah, no, sorry. Pregnant, it’s a lot of effort, you see,” she attempted to smile but grimaced accidentally.“Lily. UP.”  
She sighed, and let him held her up, to reveal a couch with a massive wet patch on it.  
“Lily’s pissed herself!” Peter yelled. First day back in The Order, solid.  
They all groaned. “No she hasn’t, you idiot!” Dorcas responded.  
“Her water broke!” Yelled James, bouncing over with excitement.  
Lily rolled her eyes. “Look, statistically, we have hours until labour actually begins, and I was almost finished with that code, so how about we just chill here for another hour, and then get going to Mungo’s?”  
They all looked at her, dumbstruck, before everyone in the room, including Fabian, Gideon, Caradoc, Dumbledore, McGonagall and even Moody shouted “NO!” In unison.  
Lily sighed. “God, you’d think it was your baby!”  
Alice rushed over to pick up Neville. “Look! Don’t you want one Lils?”   
Lily scoffed. “Obviously I do, but going now or in an hours time isn’t going to change how fast they come out of me.” Alice scowled, and handed Neville to Frank.  
Everyone was looking at Lily with different expressions on their faces. Alice, Dorcas and Frank were looking at her encouragingly, all of them loving babies to the point of obsession. The twins, Caradoc, Marlene and Moody were all smiling but looked absolutely terrified. Even witnessing a birth hadn’t made Marlene even slightly more comfortable with the idea of pushing a baby out of… there. Remus was almost entirely sure that the twins, Caradoc and Moody had never known a pregnant woman, let alone been there when her water broke, LET ALONE been there for the birth (Lily insisted they take her to the hospital with the rest of them for ‘experience’. They refused to go into the actual room while the birthing was going on, and she slapped them one by one for even thinking she would let that happen. They agreed, because no one could say no to a pregnant lady, especially not a pregnant Lily Evans). McGonagall and Dumbledore were beaming, utterly beaming, like proud parents. They linked arms and even McGonagall’s smile never faltered. Peter was silent, still and Remus couldn’t tell if the other looks on his face was guilt or worry. Probably sixty percent guilt and forty percent worry, he decided. Odd emotions to experience while your best friends were about to have a baby. Remus ignored it.  
Sirius was looking at the couple lovingly, and Remus knew he was looking at them that way too. They both knew that they would love that baby like it was their own, and they would protect it with their lives. Nothing would happen to him, or her, while they were alive.  
Then there was James. James was looking at Lily like she was the most wonderful, beautiful, precious thing in the world. He knew better than to treat her as if she was fragile, he knew better than to treat her like she couldn’t look after herself. But as everyone started whispering in groups about how they were going to get Lily to Mungos, Remus watched James sit down, opposite her, on the couch. James took her hands in his and openly shed a tear. He whispered something to Lily, and Remus saw her start crying softly, too. It wasn’t sadness, it was wonder, and hope, and a little bit of fear. It was really beautiful, Remus thought, as he grabbed Sirius’ hand and pulled him in tight. It really, really was.

“ALRIGHT!” Moody boomed, shocking everyone. If anyone was going to speak ten minutes after Lily’s water broke, Remus would’ve bet anything that it wouldn’t be Moody. Even Dumbledore gasped, although he quickly composed himself afterwards.  
They were all looking expectantly at Moody, yet it was a minute before he spoke again.  
“RIGHT!” He continued, “Lily over here has a baby coming out of her-“ McGonagall pulled him aside and whispered something in his ear, and one she pulled away, he recomposed himself, and said, “Anyway, Lily is about to give birth-“ he looked at McGonagall, waiting for her approval of the phrasing. She nodded, and he turned back to the rest of them. “Yes, well, about to give birth, and she is insisting on waiting an hour or so to go to St Mungo’s. Hands up if you think we should wait?”  
Everyone put their hands up except Lily, including Emmeline, Hestia and Edgar, who’d apparated into the meeting room to pick up some documents and only picked up on the last sentence Moody said.  
“And everyone who thinks that we should wait and go in an hour?”Lily put her hand up, scowling. “Well, I’m the mother! It’s my decision!”  
Moody smiled at her, a kind smile, a smile Remus had never seen before. “Yes, you are the mother, however we are currently in The Order warehouse, and the first rule that we made was that this was, almost always, except in moments of life and death, a democracy. So, you do have a choice. But not about going, about who you would like to come.”  
Lily frowned, and for a moment it looked like she was going to argue, but instead she sighed, and admitted defeat. “Fine. You’re all coming to the hospital.”“Mungo’s will NOT be happy about that,” Caradoc laughed.  
She glared at him. “Do you think I give a DAMN about what Mungo’s is happy about right now?!”Caradoc jumped back, raising his arms in surrender. “Sorry, Lily. Didn’t mean it like that,” he said desperately. She waved him off.  
A voice came from the meeting room. “Lily, love, we are so very happy for you, but we are on the clock and if the ministry finds out we are associated with The Order as more than allies we will probably lose our jobs…” Emmeline trailed off.  
Edgar finished for her. “Basically, we can’t come, but we will visit tonight, if you’ll have us.” He said this with a smile, Remus could tell, even though they couldn’t see his face.  
“Sorry, my darling. Good luck though! You’ll be amazing,” Hestia added, before they all came out of the meeting room holding stacks of parchment. “We do have to go, literally right now, but take some metaphorical hugs. We love you, darling. You’ll be great.” They all waved goodbye to her and vanished.  
“Right,” Lily continued, “the rest of you are coming. Um, weird request here, but I know Mungo’s allows 8 people in a birthing room as long as there’s only three by the sides of the bed at one time, so you’re all waiting for the sprog to come out, and that may take hours-“ she smirked at the twins and Caradoc, “-but you’ll deal with it, because., remember, agonising pain… Anyway, I was wondering if I could have James, Marls, Dorcas, Alice, Remus, obviously, and…+ Lily seemed nervous to continue, but Remus smiled at her and nodded. “And I was wondering if Sirius would come too. But you’re staying by my head. I’ll do this without a pain potion sooner than you seeing between my legs.”  
Remus couldn’t remember a time he had seen Sirius so happy. “Yes, of course I will. Of course I will Evans. Of course I bloody will.” He smiled at her, and she smiled back.  
Then, Lily turned towards the adults. “Um, you can say no if you want, I just thought that I don’t think my parents will get there in time, speaking of, go owl your parents, James! Anyway, I don’t have a mum there, and you’ve kind of been one to me…” Lily shed a tear. “Fucking pregnancy hormones! Fuck!” She looked down at her belly. “Oh. Sorry, sprog. Anyway, Professor McGonagall, I was wondering if you’d come in? You don’t have to, I just-“  
McGonagall held her hand up in the way she had done to silence them ever since first year, but this time, she did it with a smile. “Yes, lovely Lily, of course I will. No offence, everyone else here, but Lily’s always been my favourite.” McGonagall crossed the room and grabbed Lily’s hand, smiling down at her.  
The rest of them scoffed, including Dumbledore. “What?!” McGonagall asked, sternly.  
“It’s just…” Dorcas broke off, snickering.  
“We’ve known Lily’s been your favourite since the second week of first year,” Marlene smirked.  
McGonagall looked outraged. “Is the true?!” She looked at the rest of the post-Hogwarts students.  
They all nodded violently. McGonagall sighed. “And I tried to be so fair!”  
“Right!” Dumbledore chimed in. “This is a lovely moment! It truly is! But Lily has almost achieved her wish of waiting an hour, so we really should get going. Shall we floo to the Leaky Cauldron, or apparate?”  
“Which will be less painful for a pregnant person?” Lily asked, wincing. “Fuck me, Alice, I see what you mean. This hurrays like a bitch!”  
Alice just laughed at her. “Honey, that pain is like a paper cut compared to someone chopping off your leg. Good luck though!” Alice smirked at Lily’s furrowed brows.  
Remus realised he actually knew what to do here. “Uh, guys?” He said. No one listened. “Guys?” He interrupted louder. “GUYS!” He yelled, and everyone whipped around to look at him. “God, took long enough to get your attention. Anyway, flooing is better for a pregnant woman. I asked my dad once.”  
Lily beamed. “You’re a life saver Rem! I’d get up and hug you, but I’m in intense pain,” she said, still smiling. It was disturbing.  
“Right, well, I’m taking my very pregnant wife to the Leaky, you can follow-“Lily interrupted. “Actually, can Remus take me? I have to tell him something before the baby gets here and this might be the only chance.”  
James nodded. “Sure, babe. You two go, then Albus, yep still sounds wrong, then Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall can follow, I’ll come with Sirius, Marlene and Dorcas, Alice and Frank, Peter and Moody, actually no, they hate each other, um, Peter and Caradoc, yeah, that’s not great either-“  
Lily interrupted. “JAMES! I’M GIVING BIRTH. PETER CAN GO THROUGH ALONE FOR ALL I CARE. JUST GET EVERYONE TO THE HOSPITAL, AND DO IT NOW!”  
With that, Remus and Lily stepped in front of the fireplace and directed themselves to St Mungo’s.

———————————————————————————

Lily had time to choose her suite, because as much as everyone avoided the topic, James and Lily were loaded, and she could do this anywhere she wanted. Remus walked with her, and she finally found a suite that had a magical harp, a sunset out the window… gorgeous. She chose that one, and sat on the bed, patting the space next to her for Remus to occupy. He plopped onto the bed. “So, what did you want to tell me?”  
She sighed. “You can’t tell anyone.”  
He shook his head. “You know that I won’t, Lils. I would never.”  
She smiled and grabbed his hand, before she seemingly remembered what she had to say and her face fell. “Snape contacted me.”  
Remus wanted to gasp, but he was so shocked that all he could do is open his mouth and freeze up. After some time, he managed to say “W-what?”  
She nodded. “He wanted to warn me. About the prophecy. I said we already knew, and he asked how, and I just said that we did. I didn’t tell him, Rem. I promise.”  
“Lils, I know you wouldn’t.”  
“Anyway, I found out how Voldemort found out about the prophecy…” She put her head in her hands, but he removed them, and nodded that she could continue. “Snape heard it, he was outside the room in the Hogs Head. He told Voldemort, without realising that the baby the prophecy referred to was mine.” Lily winced after that. The contractions were getting worse.  
“Lily, we can talk about this after-“  
She shook her head. “No. Baby can wait a few minutes. Snape’s also going to tell Sirius about Sebastian. I don’t know when, and I don’t know how, but he’s going too.”  
Remus shuddered. “He can’t. I’ll have to tell him first.”  
Lily shook her head sadly. “You can’t. You’re not allowed. But you’re engaged, you love each other. I think you’ll be okay.”Remus nodded. “Yeah, well, I’m not so sure.”  
She gasped in pain. “Well, baby’s getting a tad impatient, so I guess we should get on with it. But one more thing, yeah?”Remus raised his eyebrows in response.  
“I went to the pack with you those few times. I’ll be going with you later. If Sirius knows I didn’t see anything, maybe it will HEL-“ Lily screamed, before calming instantly.  
“Lily?!” Remus asked, panicked.  
“Wow, this is really unpleasant! Oh well, I’ll be right. Could you get the others?”  
Remus went to leave, before turning back and asking “All of them?”  
Lily nodded. “Yeah, all of them. Just for a bit.”  
Remus turned and went to get the herd of people in the waiting room.

“Oi! Come tell her good luck!” Remus said with a smile to the group of people standing in front of him, facing away. “Guys!”  
They all turned around, incredibly slowly, and Remus just saw pure terror on their faces. “What the fuck?”  
Dumbledore suddenly came from around the corner. “Well, they’re gone, so we should be-“ Dumbledore paused. “Oh, Remus. We were hoping not to bother Lily with this right now.”  
“She’s not here,” Remus said quietly. “But I am, so would someone like to tell me what’s going on?”“Well,” Caradoc spoke quietly from the back, “Darling Snape just cursed three of my fingers off, but I mean, we’re at a hospital, and it wasn’t my wand hand, so I don’t particularly mind,” Caradoc said nonchalantly. Remus wanted to yell HOW ARE YOU SO CALM?! But thought it best to stay silent for the moment.  
“Wilkes also announced that someone in the hospital from The Order is the spy. Half of us think he’s playing us, and half of us think he’s telling us the truth, and all of us think he’s a twat.” Fabian announced.  
“It seems Bellatrix is no longer a Black, shame I missed the invitation to the wedding,” Sirius sighed, “But clearly her and Lestrange are on a honeymoon because they missed today’s festivities. Lucius’ hair was here, his body attached, and he attempted, very stupidly, to duel Moody, Sirius, and McGonagall all at the same time. That ended up with him having his hair hexed off, which was frankly hilarious, because it literally drove him away from the hospital.” Sirius finished.  
“Wait, why isn’t there a mess? And where is everyone?” Remus asked.  
Dumbledore chimed in. “Well, I cleaned up the mess so that this floor somewhat resembles its original state, and most of the staff are upstairs.”  
Remus slowly added, “Most…?”  
“Yes, well, it seems that Dolohov really enjoys duelling me, for reasons unknown to all of us. I instructed the nurse to hide behind the desk, but she heard me yelp and tried to get up and save me, getting struck by a killing curse at an inopportune moment. I think she’s dead behind there. I assume the body will be moved later,” Dorcas said calmly.  
“Unfortunately this DOES mean that there are no midwives to deliver the baby, but Frank has called Augusta and she’ll be here any moment, so this should be amusing all round,” Alice smiled.   
“Unfortunately one of my cousins, a healer here, just died in front of me. Moody moved the body I think. Shame. She as a really nice girl,” Marlene sighed, as if reminiscing.   
Ok, what the fuck?  
“Um? Professors? Mody? What the actual fuck is going on?”Dumbledore sighed,. “We had to give them something for the shock. They couldn’t stop screaming. It also appears that Snape decided to tell Sirius about your, um, werewolf friend, and when he snaps out of the potion’s daze, he won’t remember. So, that works well.”“Will they remember the fight?” Remus asked. This wasn’t fair to Lily.  
“They’ll remember that there was a fight, but not what exactly happened. They were coming for the baby, after it was born.”  
“When will they… come back?” Remus asked.  
“James already has, he’s in with Lily. The rest of them probably have a few more minutes to reset, then everything should be fine.”Remus nodded. “Uh, right then. Could you send them in when they’re awake please Professor McGonagall?”  
She nodded. “Sure, Remus. Sure.”

——————————————————————————

During the birth, no one told Lily what happened, because the only one who knew what actually did was Remus. He told her Augusta was there because there was a duel in the hospital, but what would a Lily Evans birth be without some sort of fight? She laughed, and then there was a lot of screaming.   
Lily giving birth was like putting on a record that just swears over and over again.  
James was shockingly helpful, as was Sirius. McGonagall was amazing, Marlene was far less uncomfortable than last time, Alice told her it got better, and Dorcas just said how much they all loved her. Remus held her when she froze up.  
Unfortunately, this baby was a right bastard who didn’t feel like being born. Eight hours. Eight. Fucking. Hours.Remus heard Sirius begin to complain before he slapped his hand over the smaller boy’s mouth and whispered in his ear. “Yes. Eight hours she’s been in agony and all you’ve had to do is watch wile she cries and screams, so deal with it!” Sirius looked shocked and nodded profusely.

Twelve hours, and they heard crying. Magical, Remus thought, magical.  
Then, he was both thankful and horrified at his enhanced hearing, because he heard a scream. Then another, then ten screams, and twenty. He would tell Moody, he would, but he had to do something first.  
“Hey, parents?” Remus whispered to James and Lily, who was holding a tiny baby sleeping soundly.  
“Yeah?” They whispered back.  
“Gender? Name?”  
The couple smiled at each other. “Boy.” James announced.  
“And his name,” Lily smiled at Remus, “is Harry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm in a psych hospital for one more week, and then I'll be free!  
> I'm trying to stabilise my writing, but its hard because I'm not stable myself.  
> xoxo Gabby


	23. An Invasion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pack, the Order and the Aurors team up to annihilate the death eaters. They'll do anything for Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Here's a nice long one to make up for my absence!!

It had been a beautiful day. Baby Harry screamed a lot, but Sirius didn’t mind, because to him the screams were a promise of life to come.  
Sirius was standing against the wall, just looking at the happy family, When Remus snuck next to him. “Sirius?”  
“Mmm?” Sirius responded.  
“Do you hear the screams?”  
Sirius whipped around. “The WHAT?!”   
“Shhhhh!” Remus hushed. “The screams. I can hear them because of werewolf stuff, I was just wondering if you could hear them too.”  
Sirius was in shock. This was meant to be a good day. Couldn’t they have just one good day?! “No, I can’t…” Sirius trailed off. If he listened, really closely, he could hear faint yells. “I can hear them,” Sirius whispered.  
Remus dropped his head into his hands. “They’ve been coming closer, for half an hour. They’re coming for Harry, I know they are.”  
Sirius tried not to shake. “What do we do?”  
Remus shrugged. “That’s what I was asking you.”  
Sirius thought back to his training with The Order. He thought about the protocols when they find out about an imminent attack. And then he looked over to James and Lily, and their beautiful baby, and thought to himself, fuck the protocols. We’re doing this our way. “Alright. I’ve got a plan.” Remus nodded for him to continue, and Sirius took him over to the corner of the room. “Ok. We need to get this organised before James and Lily hear what’s going on. If they panic, the baby panics, and I swear to god-“  
“The baby will not panic,” they finished in unison.  
Sirius nodded. “Exactly. I’m going to get to Dumbledore, McGonagall and Moody. Tell them what’s happening. You’re going to whisper to everyone that there might be an attack, and they CANNOT appear worried, or show any sign of being worried, and they cannot, CANNOT, tell Lily or James. Uh, be careful telling Peter. He’s not great with a poker face.”  
Remus nodded. “You’ve got Dumbledore and them, they’re outside in the corridor, by the way, and I’ve got these guys. We’ve probably only got five minutes okay? Make a plan. Go, now.”  
Sirius kissed Remus, a genuine kiss, because there was so much emotion left over from seeing that baby being born and they had to get some of it out because there was probably going to be a battle, a battle that they couldn’t avoid, and a battle that Sirius suspected would be the worst yet. Sirius retreated to the door, and watched Remus sneak up behind Marlene and Dorcas, and tell them what was going on. The horror on Dorcas’ face lasted less than a second, and if you weren’t looking for it, it would go unnoticed. Marlene just nodded, and kept the smile on her face. Sirius waited and saw Remus sneak up behind Alice and Frank. They just smiled and nodded at him, but Alice had fear in her eyes. Unnoticeable, however, if you weren’t searching for it. Then Remus reached Peter, and Sirius realised that this could ruin everything. Sirius rushed over and said “Peter! Remus! Outside for a moment?”  
James looked up, confused. “What’s going on?”  
Sirius winked. “Marauders business Prongs! Don’t worry, we’ll fill you in when there isn’t a Prongslet in your arms.”  
As Sirius and Remus pulled a reluctant Peter outside, Sirius heard Lily gasp. “James!”  
James quickly said “What? Are you okay?”  
The last thing Sirius heard before leaving the room was Lily saying, with glee, “Prongslet! I love that. I love it so much!”

Outside in the corridor, Sirius and Remus finally released Peter, who had been attempting to shake them off since they grabbed him in the first place.   
“Merlin! What could be so important that you have to DRAG me out of looking at the baby! It’s so cute! It’s got big eyes, and-“  
Sirius silenced him with a glare. “What is important, Peter, is that there are death eaters coming-“ Sirius looked at Remus for confirmation.  
Remus nodded and said “Yep, death eaters. Definitely heard Bellatrix’s shriek.”  
“-Exactly, there are death eaters coming,” Sirius continued, “and they’re coming for Harry. They’re destroying everything in their path, too, and they’re getting closer.”  
Peter’s eyes widened with shock. “What?! How soon will they be here? WHAT ARE WE-“  
Sirius clapped his hand over Peter’s mouth. “Soon, okay? But you cannot tell James and Lily under ANY circumstance. They cannot find out until it’s unavoidable, okay?”  
Peter nodded. “How are we telling the others?”  
Remus sighed. “They know. I just told them. There’s a few I still need to tell, but they mostly know.”  
“They didn’t look upset AT ALL!” Peter cried.  
“SHHHH!” Sirius and Remus silenced him at the same time.   
“Firstly, they didn’t look upset because I warned them not too. I told you here because you can’t keep a straight face, and secondly, will you shut up!” Remus whispered.  
“Right, well, Remus, you’ve got this-“ he gestured up and down Peter, “-situation under control, so I’m off to talk to Dumbles. Good luck,” Sirius smiled at Remus. He did not smile at Peter. Something was up, but he didn’t have time to figure out what it was.

Sirius turned the corner to find Dumbledore sitting on a chair drinking tea while reading the Daily Prophet, looking up occasionally to repair a broken vase. Moody was penning letters to the Ministry, undoubtedly telling them to pick up the bodies, but NOT NOW. Not for a few hours. McGonagall was leaning back with her eyes closed, awake, but clearly tired.  
“Um, Professors? Moody?”  
They all looked up. “Sirius?” Dumbledore smiled at him. “Lovely day! Such a beautiful baby, so-“  
Sirius cut him off. “Yes, yes, lovely day, lovely baby, lovely, lovely, lovely…” His tone became more and more distasteful as he continued, so he cleared his throat and started again. “Anyway, yes, it’s all lovely, however we do have a slight problem,” Sirius paused, and then rephrased, “actually, we have quite a big problem.”  
McGonagall looked perplexed. “What’s going on? Is Harry okay?”Sirius couldn’t help but smile at the knowledge that the baby was okay, until he realised that the baby might not be okay very soon, and frowned.   
“Yes, Harry’s fine, but he might not be.” Moody looked shocked, Dumbledore sighed and McGonagall placed her hand over her heart.  
“What?!” She gasped.  
Sirius took a seat. He wasn’t sure if he could do this standing up. “Look, I’ll be quick about it, because we don’t have much time. There’s-“ Sirius stopped speaking as he saw Moody become alert, and look over his shoulder. He heard them. McGonagall and Dumbledore seemed to remain oblivious, and that meant that the others in the room were too. Sirius had incredibly good hearing, because he’d trained himself to listen to his parents footsteps at such a young age. Remus had the whole werewolf thing, and Moody had impeccable hearing from all his time as an Auror.  
“It’s about that, right?” Moody asked Sirius gruffly. Sirius nodded regretfully.   
“I’m sorry to interrupt, Sirius, but about what exactly?” Dumbledore asked politely.  
Sirius sighed. “Well. There isn’t a nice way to put this, I’ve been thinking of one, but there isn’t. There are death eaters coming. Lots of them. They’ve been heading this way, specifically, for forty-five minutes, and we probably only have twenty until they get here. They’re coming for Harry, we all know they are.”  
Dumbledore raised his hand, which would have amused Sirius had the life of a gorgeous child not been in imminent danger. “Um, yes Professor?”  
“How do you know how long they have been coming? We can’t hear them,” he looked confused.  
“Remus. The whole werewolf hearing thing. He’d hoped he was imagining things, but he told me twenty minutes ago. I can hear them now, because I trained myself so I could hear really well, and-““I can hear them too, lad. Only now I’m listening for it, though.” Moody added to Sirius’ statement.  
McGonagall nodded and piped up. “I thought that they wouldn’t come for Harry until he was sixth months old?”  
Dumbledore sighed. “I was sure that they wouldn’t. But there was always a snag.”  
“FUCK SNAGS!” Sirius yelled before he could stop himself.  
“I agree.” Dumbledore said flatly. “But unfortunately, this one is particularly annoying, but at least we know what’s going on, and how long it will go on for.”  
Moody, Sirius and McGonagall all looked at him, expecting him to continue, but apparently he had finished his sentence. “Uh, Professor, we actually don’t, so if you could enlighten us?” Sirius requested.  
Dumbledore nodded. “Sorry, Sirius. I just feel like I have let you down.”  
Sirius shook his head. “Of course not. None of us know what we are doing. No one has all the answers.”  
Dumbledore smiled at Sirius. “A wise man, you are. So, children born to wizarding parents are always assumed to be magical, and it is rare that they are squibs. Magic is never shown until the child is six months old, unless, and this happens very rarely, I could probably count the instances on one hand… Magic isn’t shown for six months unless it is shown within twelve hours of the child’s birth.”“Motherfucker,” Moody muttered. “Can’t catch a break, the Potter’s, can they?”  
“No,” Dumbledore sighed, “it appears then they cannot. Do the others know?”  
Sirius nodded. “Remus and I told everyone except James and Lily.”  
“You told Pettigrew?” Asked Moody, slightly outraged.  
“Yes?” Sirius said, confused.  
McGonagall scoffed. “Sorry, Sirius, it’s just that that boy could not keep a straight face even if his life depended on it.”“Too right, you are,” Moody agreed, nodding at her.  
“Anyway,” Dumbledore changed the topic abruptly, “I agree that James and Lily should not find out under any circumstance until it is absolutely necessary, lest the baby panic.” They all nodded in agreement. “Sirius, could you please bring Remus here?”  
Sirius nodded and went back to the birthing suite. Everyone was smiling and laughing, but if you looked closely, it was obvious that most of it was forced. Luckily, James and Lily were in such a happy daze that they didn’t notice. Sirius found Remus in a chair in the corner, his chin resting on his hands. When Sirius got close, he realised that Remus’ fingers were blocking his ears.  
“Remus?” Sirius grabbed one of the boys hands. Remus looked up, and Sirius nodded towards the direction of the door. Remus let Sirius lead him out subtly, and no one seemed to notice, or if they did, they chose not to comment. They had been trained well, Sirius thought.  
“What happened?” Remus asked while they walked to the waiting room.  
“Just wait. How loud are they?” Sirius asked, noticing Remus’ obvious discomfort.  
Remus shook his head. “Really fucking loud. Fifteen minutes, at best.”  
Remus relayed what he was hearing to the three adults, and Moody nodded along, Dumbledore stayed silent, taking the information in, while McGonagall kept her hands clasped tightly, pursing her lips out of desperation, or maybe stress. Probably both, Sirius decided.   
“Right.” Moody spoke after Remus had finished. “We’ve got two options here.”  
Dumbledore held out his hands. “Please, Alastor, tell us.”  
Moody nodded. “Well. We can get James and Lily and Harry out of the hospital, or we can get every Order member that we have here and build a barricade of sorts to stop them getting to the child. Harry was born, what, five hours ago? So they’ll leave after twelve, if they don’t kill us all and get him sooner.”  
McGonagall gasped. “Alastor! You can’t say those things!”  
He shrugged. “Sorry, Miverna. Just being realistic.”  
Sirius felt sick. “Right, so we’ll obviously get them out of the hospital and hide them for a while, right?” Sirius asked, hopefully. Something told him there was another ‘snag’ when it came to this plan.  
Dumbledore shook his head. “Another snag?” Remus asked. Sirius loved him so much. Not the time, but he really did.  
Dumbledore looked up at the two boys. “Unfortunately, yes. The only way we can get out of here is by floo, apparition or by exiting through the front entrance. Do you see the problems with these?”  
Sirius and Remus sunk into chairs. “Floo is dangerous with a baby, because they can’t say the words themselves.” Sirius pointed out.“Harry will almost definitely be splinched if they apparate,” Remus added.  
“And if they go out the front entrance they’ll be killed anyway.” A voice came from behind them. They all whipped around to see Dorcas standing there.  
They all went to speak but she waved them off. “Hush. If anyone can help you here, it’s me. I was going to be a nursery healer before all of this. I started my training in sixth year. Never brought it up because we always had other options, but it doesn’t seem like we have any left. The Potter’s couldn’t get here and James told them to just visit tomorrow, Augusta’s gone and I know more about babies than any of you,” she pointed out. Sirius had to admit that she did have a point.  
They were all silent for a while, before Dumbledore gestured to a chair. “Very well. Take a seat.”

—————————————————————————

Ten minutes later, and they had a plan. As good of a plan as they could come up with in ten minutes, in fact. Dorcas had interjected when they needed to take precautions for the baby, (“He’s a newborn! No broomsticks!”), Remus had updated them on the whereabouts of the attackers, even though Moody and Sirius could almost hear them clearly now. Moody had contacted the Auror’s office, as this was an attack on the hospital, which was technically Ministry property. McGonagall had gotten every member of The Order to the hospital in less than five minutes (even Sirius thought this was impressive, but then again, it was Miverna McGonagall), Sirius had come up with a battle strategy of sorts, and Dumbledore had done what Dumbledore does best: pieced it all together into something that resembled a flawless plan.  
“We’re here!” Panted a voice, coming from around the corner. Sirius looked up to see a very sweaty Dedalus, accompanied by a perfectly composed Sturgis, a reluctant Mundungus, and a worried, yet determined, Emmeline and Hestia. Edgar sauntered in after them, holding a variety of gadgets that Sirius honestly didn’t want to know the purpose of, but they looked very explode-y and that was enough information for him. A few other Order members arrived, members that only attended meetings that required their specific specialities.   
Sirius, Remus, Dumbledore, Moody and McGonagall looked around the room, all thinking the same thing. Even with the Auror’s, there wasn’t enough of them. There were at least thirty death eaters, thirty immensely powerful wizards. Sirius noticed Remus and Dumbledore looking at each other, Dumbledore with a pleading look upon his face and Remus looking like he wanted to disappear.  
“Right, well, we have, what, twenty of us? The Auror’s won’t be here for another half hour at least, and without James and Lily…” Moody trailed off, after stating what they were all thinking. He looked at Dumbledore, who sighed, and turned to Remus.  
“We have to, Remus,” Dumbledore said sadly.  
“I didn’t want to do it like this!” Remus protested.  
Dumbledore smiled understandingly. “I know you didn’t. I didn’t either. Lily definitely wouldn’t have, but we don’t have much choice.”  
“There’s always a choice,” frowned Remus.  
“Remus, there’s a little baby in there and his life could come down to this moment. Please, I implore you, do this for Harry.” Dumbledore nodded, knowing Remus would make the right choice. Sirius just had no idea what the ‘right choice’ was. He had no idea what they were talking about.  
“Fine,” Remus sighed. “How fast can you get them here?”  
“Five minutes or less.” Dumbledore answered.  
Remus nodded. “I’ll be back in a moment.”  
Remus excited the room and Sirius heard the distinct crack of apparition. “Sir?” Sirius looked at Dumbledore. “What’s going on?”  
Dumbledore smiled sadly. “We have to bring in some backup. I’m asking you, Sirius, please leave your emotions out of this. This fight is for Harry, and you can figure everything out after the twelve hours is up. And remember, Remus did this for me. He did everything that he couldn’t tell you about for me.” With a crack, Dumbledore apparated, leaving Sirius in a room of incredibly confused people, looking at each other, hoping someone would have answers.   
A moment later, at least five, definitely more, as the cracks continued, echoed through the hallway. Sirius could hear voices, unfamiliar voices, but he made out Dumbledore’s and Remus’. What the fuck?  
Dumbledore sauntered in to the room. “I’d love to introduce all of you, but I’m afraid we’re strapped for time. Just familiarise yourselves with each others faces so that you don’t curse any of our own. These people are our allies, and can be trusted as much as any of you can trust each other. Understood?”  
They all murmured variations of “Understood,” and Dumbledore waved to the group of people around the corner, telling them to come in.   
A woman walked in first. She couldn’t have been older than thirty-five, but she had wrinkles and looked like she had aged far too quickly. Then two men came in behind her, who looked much the same, as if they were wiser then their years. Four women and two men followed, probably in their twenties, and behind them, three girls and four boys, who ranged from Sirius’ age to the age of the Prewetts. It seemed like that was all, but Remus wasn’t here yet. Seconds later, Remus walked in, a vacant look on his face, followed by someone else.  
Followed by Sebastian fucking Pence, who was smiling at Remus (and the rest of them, but Sirius just focused on the fact that he was SMILING AT REMUS) and twirling his wand between his fingers.  
Sirius remained silent, but he was fuming, and he was sure that anyone who looked at him would definitely notice. He wasn’t sure that he minded.  
“Right!” Dumbledore announced. “This is Suzanna, Ben,” Dumbledore was pointing at the various members of the entourage, “Luke-“ Dumbledore paused. “Actually, Remus, would you introduce the others? I have something to discuss with Alastor.”  
Remus nodded, and continued. “This is Leila, Amalia,” he continued pointing at members of the group, “Renee, Amy, Jackson, Max, William,” Remus paused and turned to introduce the youngest members. “And this is Stephanie,” Remus smirked at the girl, “who REALLY shouldn’t be here-“  
“But we are glad she is!” Called Dumbledore from the other side of the room.  
Remus chuckled and smiled at the girl, saying “Yes, but we are glad that she is, this is Amber, Vivienne, Isabella-“ ‘Isabella’ glared at Remus, who smiled apologetically. “Sorry, this is Isabella, who, upon learning about Bellatrix, has decided to go by Izzy under all circumstances,” the girl nodded defiantly at Remus, before he continued. “And finally, this is Elijah, Max, Brayden and Noah, and finally,” Remus looked to his right and received a smile from the boy standing there, “this is Sebastian.”

Everyone was silent for a moment, before Sturgis raised his hand. “Um, I don’t think I’ll be able to remember all of them,” he said guiltily.  
Dumbledore reappeared next to Remus and laughed. “I don’t think any of you will be able to. Suzanna, how would you like the pack to be addressed?”  
OH! realised Sirius. This was the pack. That made SO much more sense. So why was Sebastian here?  
“I think you could address us as the Forest’s. My old last name. I assume you all go by first names or last names, but if you call Forest, the closest one of us available to you will step in and assist. Is that alright with everyone?” Suzanna asked, turning to the others.   
They all nodded, but then Sebastian said “Forest. I like it. Very wolfish,” he smirked, making the pack laugh.  
Wait. If Sebastian is making wolf jokes, and being addressed as part of the pack, then he’s been bitten. Which means… No. Oh, no. Remus has been staying with the pack. LIVING with the pack. Eating, sleeping and playing with the pack, with SEBASTIAN, for a week a month for over a year. Fuck no. What kind of fucking boyfriend doesn’t tell his boyfriend that he’s been playing house with his ex every month for a year?! Maybe he is the fucking spy, he’s been lying for so long, maybe…  
“Sirius?” A voice snapped Sirius out of his spiral. “Are you okay?” It was Dorcas.  
“No,” he growled at her. “I am NOT okay.” Sirius did remember what Dumbledore said, not to let his emotions get in the way, and that everything that Remus did he did for Dumbledore, but that wasn’t a fucking excuse! So Sirius would like to note that he DID remember he shouldn’t do this, but he also shouldn’t have done a lot of things in his life that ended up being great decisions. So, he stepped out of his position against the wall, and walked up to Remus and Sebastian. Even in his head, he said the name with distaste.  
Dumbledore stepped in front of him. “Sirius, we barely have five minutes until it starts. Please, put this aside for now.”  
Sirius glared at him and stepped past the old man. “So,” Sirius snarled at Remus. “This is where you’ve been going? To go play house with your ex-boyfriend?”  
Remus sighed. “It’s not like that, Sirius.”  
“Oh, ‘it’s not like that’?” Sirius exclaimed, mimicking Remus. “So you haven’t been fucking him?!” The older members in the room gasped.  
“No!” Remus responded, as if it was obvious. “Of course I haven’t! I’m with you! I chose you!”  
Sirius scoffed. “Yeah, sure. You chose me. That’s why you’ve been lying to me for the past year?! We’re ENGAGED, REMUS!”  
“Oh! Congratula-“ Stephanie began, before she realised her mistake and stepped back, looking down.  
“Yes, Sirius, I know we are. I proposed. I remember quite well. Do you really think I would’ve done that if I didn’t love you?” Sirius was irritated at how calm Remus remained.  
“I don’t know anymore! You’ve could’ve just told me!”  
“Actually, I’ll stop you right there,” Dumbledore said, clearing his throat and stepping between Sirius and Remus. “Sirius, I forbid Remus to tell anyone about what was going on. I told him he couldn’t tell you, or anyone, about who was there, where he was, and what he was doing. If this is anyone’s fault, it is mine.”  
Sirius side stepped Dumbledore once again. “I’m going to be your husband! Were you going to tell me when we got married? Or keep sneaking off to your boyfriend every time there was a moon?!”  
Remus sighed. “Sirius, you’re my boyfriend. I was going to tell you as soon as I was allowed to. Do you think these people would be here if I had told you? Do you think that you would have let me go?”  
“These people! We could’ve-“  
Remus held his hand up. “These people have looked after me and have treated me like a real person in society. They have been kind to me, and accepted me, and trusted me completely.”  
Suzanna nodded. “We do, Remus, we do.”  
“Exactly. And I’m quite glad for that considering my own fiancé doesn’t trust me himself.” Remus finished, crossing his arms and stepping back.  
Right, Sirius thought, he does have a point. It’s still not okay. No one in their right mind would think that what Remus did was okay.  
Sebastian made a weird face, and Sirius couldn’t figure out his expression, but it seemed judgemental, so he stepped in front of Remus’ ex and started on him. “You still love him, don’t you?!”  
Sebastian was silent.“HA! I knew it! You do! And you’ve been fucking-“  
“I do love him Sirius, yes. But he loves you. Not me, you. Every time there was a chance for something to happen, he told me that he loved you. Lily was there! You can ask her, because you clearly don’t trust Remus.”  
“Lily was there?! James is going to be so pissed that she didn’t tell him!”  
Dumbledore sighed. “Sirius, I forbid her to tell anyone.”  
“Whatever! My ‘boyfriend’, if you even call me that anymore-“ Sirius felt horribly guilty when he saw Remus’ eyes fill with tears, but he kept going anyway. Its as probably the Black in him. “-lied to me for a year about the one thing that matters the most! Was I not good enough at the moons?! Was Padfoot-“  
“SIRIUS!” Peter yelled. Where did he come from anyway? He mouthed to Sirius ‘don’t tell them about padfoot!’, and for once Sirius could admit that Peter had a good point.  
Ignoring Peter, while also taking his advice, Sirius looked at Remus and said, slowly, “Do you even love me?”  
Remus threw his hands up in the air. “Of course I love you! I love you more than anything! I love you more than I love everyone else in this world combined! I didn’t cheat on you, my god! I didn’t tell you because I COULDN’T, not because I didn’t WANT TO! Please, just let me do something good for this cause! I’m not like you. I could help with this! And in all honesty, I’m glad that I did. I met these people-“ Remus gestured to the pack on his left, “-and they’re amazing! They’ve looked after me during the moons, and if you really do love me you would thank them for that.” Remus spat out the last few words and held his hands up in surrender.  
Sirius had a few options here, he thought. He could apologise and move on. He could yell at Remus some more, or he could yell at Sebastian, or he could yell at Dumbledore. Unfortunately, Sirius had too much pride to apologise.   
“You know what? YOU-“ he shouted, pointing at Remus, “are a fucking TRAITOR. And YOU-“ Sirius pointed at Sebastian, “Are a FUCKWIT. You’re a liar, Pence. And you, Remus, and Lily too are LIARS-“  
“ENOUGH!” Dorcas yelled. “THAT. IS. ENOUGH.” Suddenly, everything was silent. Dorcas moved to the middle of the room. “I’m going to have to shout it, because that’s the only way that either of you twats ever listen! SIRIUS! YOU CANNOT DISRESPECT PEOPLE WHO ARE PUTTING THEIR LIVES AT RISK FOR NO REASON AT ALL EXCEPT TO BE KIND TO REMUS AND PEOPLE LIKE HIM. THESE ARE PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN MISTREATED BY WIZARDS THEIR ENTIRE LIVES, AND ALL THAT YOU’RE DOING IS PROVING THEM RIGHT!” Then Dorcas did something odd, and she walked over to Suzanna and hugged her. At first Suzanna froze up in shock, but then Dorcas whispered something in her ear and Suzanna embraced her tightly, rubbing her back. Dorcas pulled away, smiling, and returned to the others.  
“AND,” Sirius was disappointed that she was still yelling, “SEBASTIAN, I QUITE LIKED YOU. BUT I KNOW YOU’VE MADE MANY, MANY MOVES ON REMUS, AND THAT IS PLAINLY DISRESPECTFUL.”  
“Sebastian, I did expect better.” Suzanna said blatantly, staring him in the eyes.   
Sebastian nodded sadly. “I know. I’m sorry,” he apologised, turning to Remus.  
“You’re sorry? Did I hear you right? You’re sorry that you did that? He is TAKEN. He told you that. Why couldn’t you just back off you piece of-“  
“FUCKING STOP IT SIRIUS BLACK!” Dorcas practically screamed. The whole room gasped at the use of his last name. It had been a long time since they’d heard it. Sirius himself was a bit rattled too. It felt wrong, deep inside. “Yes, Sirius, I called you Sirius Black. Because this behaviour is the same behaviour you exhibited before you left home. This behaviour, is disgusting.”  
Sirius could have given up then, and even in retrospect he doesn’t know why he didn’t. “Maybe I’m just saying what needs to be said! That Sebastian’s a twat, that Remus is a fucking liar, and that Lily is-“  
“ENOUGH!” Yelled Dorcas and McGonagall at the same time.  
McGonagall was stalking over and Dorcas moved aside, knowing that if anyone could discipline Sirius it would be Miverna McGonagall. “Sirius.” McGonagall said emotionlessly, staring him in the eyes. “You will not EVER, and I mean NEVER, speak about a woman, about Lily Evans in that way, ever, ever again. Or, I can assure you, you will never see the inside of The Order ever again. You will never see me again either.”  
“Or me!” Shouted Moody, who’d always had a soft spot for Lily.  
“Or me,” muttered Peter. That was fair, Sirius supposed.   
“I don’t think you would be seeing much of myself, either,” Dumbledore said sadly, making everyone look up in shock.  
“Something I have learnt in leading a pack is that without trust and respect, we have nothing. Currently… Sirius, is it?” He nodded as Suzanna continued, “Currently, Sirius, you have nothing. And I would also like to point out that half of my pack are covering their ears, so we have about two minutes to get our shit together-“ the entire pack gasped. Apparently Suzanna doesn’t swear. “-or we are all going to die, and so is that beautiful baby in there.”  
Suddenly Stephanie looked murderous. “They’re coming for a baby?” Dumbledore nodded sadly. “Well fuck it. Fuck them. We have no choice. I would sooner die than let another fucking baby die on my watch.” They all looked at her, confused. “I lost mine, two years ago. I’ll be damned if we lose this one.” Some of them nodded at her respectfully. “So, if you three twats are done arguing, Dumbledore, I think that’s your name,” she wasn’t asking, she was just monologuing, “what are we going to do?”

———————————————————————————

McGonagall and Remus were given the unpleasant job of informing James and Lily that people were coming to assassinate their new born, and Sirius could hear Lily and James crying from down the hall. They had gotten the rest of the Order members out of the room, and Stephanie and the other young pack members were barricading themselves around the hospital bed. They weren’t the best wizards that they had, but there were so many layers of people to get through that the chances of the death eaters actually making it up to the birthing suite were slim, but even if they did, at least ten Order members would be on their trail, including some outside the door as backup.  
Sirius was partnered with Caradoc because Dumbledore didn’t trust him to keep his shit together (definitely not how Dumbledore put it, but that was the general gist) and also because Caradoc hadn’t heard the fight so he wasn’t angry at Sirius like half of the others were. No-one was blocking the hospital entrance, instead they were hiding behind the doors ready to stun anyone who came bolting through. There were members set up on every level, the strongest duellers on the first, and on the top level were the least powerful wizards, because by the time that the death eaters had made their way up the wizards from the other levels would be following them (“if you’re not all dead, of course” Moody had added. Ever the optimist). Moody did have a point, though, so Dumbledore had stationed the Prewetts and Suzanna and Ben on the top floor as well as the younger pack members who were good with hexes and jinxes, but could only produce weak curses. They were a last resort. The death eaters wouldn’t get there, Dumbledore said. Sirius suspected it was just wishful thinking. 

Sirius was on the first floor with Caradoc, Marlene and Dorcas and Dumbledore and Moody. Some other Order members that Sirius hadn’t bothered to learn the names of were there, too. Edgar and McGonagall were at the entrance, behind the doors. The Aurors haven’t arrived yet and they probably wouldn’t until the battle had already started. The other werewolves were stationed around the levels, ready to jump out and stun attackers. Everyone was in position, and all Sirius could think about were James and Lily holding their baby tight, and Remus, who may never forgive him. Or maybe he’d never forgive Remus. Who knows at this point.  
Sirius was backed up against a wall. He knew that he wasn’t in view of the entrance but he still didn’t dare to breathe heavily. Caradoc seemed determined this battle. He always did, but more so this time. It’s different, Sirius guessed, when it’s your friends you’re protecting. The entire hospital was silent. There was a silencing charm around the birthing suite so that if Harry cried the death eaters couldn’t hear him. They had moved the family to the top level, even though the birthing rooms were on the fourth. Suzanna thought that that would never work, but they reminded her how thick the death eaters were and she quickly agreed. 

The silence was almost peaceful until a mighty crash echoed throughout the hospital. Dumbledore had gotten everyone out, god knows how, so the halls were empty, the sound ricocheting from floor to floor. Instantly, footsteps started stomping through the entrance, and suddenly Sirius heard the familiar yelps of stunning spells and bodies hitting the ground. Edgar and McGonagall would’ve stunned at least eight, maybe ten death eaters, but unfortunately that meant that the death eaters were going to fight back. Marlene and Dorcas ran down the stairs to help McGonagall and Edgar in duelling, while other death eaters surpassed them without a second glance. They obviously thought that The Order’s only defences were at the entrance and outside the suite, because, as Sirius liked to remind himself, they were completely and utterly obtuse. His theory was confirmed when the death eaters headed down both sides of the hallway and were genuinely shocked when Dumbledore and Moody were waiting for them on one end and Sirius and Caradoc were waiting on the other. Sirius had never seen Dumbledore and Moody duel that intensely, he had never seen Caradoc look so determined and he suspected that he had never looked so determined himself. A few of the smarter death eaters doubled back to climb the fire escape to the next level, seeing as the stairs were blocked by Order members, and Sirius and Caradoc had managed to disable two or three while Dumbledore and Moody had disabled seven almost instantly. Sirius allowed himself to glance around the corner and saw a death eater repeatedly pushing the elevator button, which Sirius literally couldn’t hold back a laugh at. He stood right behind him and paralysed him instantly, smirking at the sight. Then he blasted the buttons off the elevator. Best they avoid that situation again.   
Everything was happening very quickly, but Sirius was clearheaded. He knew that around eight death eaters had been stunned at the entrance, Moody and Dumbledore had disabled seven and Caradoc and Sirius had just paralysed four, so that was nineteen, done with, before the attackers had even reached the second floor. Caradoc headed to follow the escapees up the stairs to continue battle when he yelled “OH, FUCK!”  
Sirius looked at Dumbledore and Moody and bolted to the stairway. They all stared down at the entrance way to find Edgar on the floor, McGonagall nowhere to be seen and Marlene and Dorcas hiding behind a door. They had surrendered, and Sirius didn’t blame them, because only Dumbledore himself could fight this without backup.   
Twenty, maybe twenty-five, more death eaters had just stormed into the building. Oh fuck, Sirius thought. Oh fuck indeed. The other Order members, who were there for backup at the ends of the corridors, ran forward to join Sirius, Caradoc, Dumbledore and Moody at the top of the stairs. Eight against twenty-five, or now Sirius had a better view, probably thirty. Sirius forced himself to believe that they had a chance. If he didn’t believe that, there really was no hope.   
Fortunately, the death eaters continually proved that they were dense as fuck, because they all tried to run up the thin staircase at once, causing fights to break out and childish pushing to occur while each of them tried to reach the top first. These were clearly the trainees, Sirius thought, because they had fuck-all of an idea of what they were doing. Even though this meant that they probably had a better chance of fending them off, Moody’s words still rang clear in his head. If someone dies, leave the body and keep going. Otherwise there will just be more. Sirius really hoped that he didn’t have to leave a body. He hadn’t watched any of them die, except Benjy, and there wasn’t any body to leave behind there. He shuddered at the memory. Ew.   
Slowly, the death eaters started filtering up the staircase. They were all obviously young, you could tell even with their masks on. Some of them were probably children of senior death eaters, some probably lost and looking for a community to join. Thing is, this wasn’t a community, it was a cult, Sirius realised. He wished he could get that through their thick heads. These death eaters weren’t trained in combat. It was obvious from the way they held their wands. They held their wands how they should be held when doing charm work, or transfiguration, not how they should be held when casting defensive spells and firing curses. These death eaters probably didn’t even have the mark. It was then that Sirius realised, as he started to dodge weak hexes from three young death eaters and flinging back curses that would leave them running for the hills, it was then that he realised that Regulus wasn’t one of them. Regulus wasn’t weak, he could duel like a master and curse like a monster. When one of the young (boys?) Sirius was fighting raised his left arm, Sirius noticed that he didn’t have the mark. The worst part about this, about all of this, is that Regulus was in the building. He was above him, or he was lying paralysed in the entrance. And one thing that Sirius knew about adult werewolves when it came to magic is that they didn’t fight to win, they fought to kill.

That was all the motivation that Sirius needed. He started firing curses, hexes, jinxes, dark magic, he started firing every disabling spell that he knew at every death eater who stood in their way. It seemed that Caradoc was motivated by Sirius’ determination, and he started picking up his speed as well. Some of the death eaters were heading up the fire escape, the unmemorable (just Sirius’ opinion!) Order members on their tail. Sirius vaguely digested screams from the floors above, but he needed to get everyone down before he could go up himself. Once every death eater, or at least the ones who hadn’t bolted upstairs, was on the ground, bleeding or paralysed or bound in ropes or experiencing some other ailment that prevented them from moving, Sirius looked up to see Dumbledore blasting the last death eater in view on that floor so that he, or she, hit the wall, and promptly passed out. The Order members all looked at each other, and headed up the staircase. On his way up, Sirius noticed a young girl, whose mask had slipped, who he recognised from his year in Hogwarts, trying to repair the elevator. Sirius stood behind her and laughed. “Do you guys never learn?!” He cackled as she turned around, and before she could raise her wand, he yelled “Petrificus Totalus!” and she fell straight to the floor. Pocketing his wand and dusting off his hands, he bolted up the stairs after the others.  
The second floor… the second floor was chaos. There were jets of light streaking every inch of air and there were masked men and women running like mad people around the Order members. Sirius suspected they were half running to get as many spells as possible to hit different parts of the Order members bodies, but also half because most of them would’ve had private doctors growing up and hadn’t actually been to St Mungo’s, so their mad running was also giving them a good chance to figure out where the hell they should be going next.  
This floor had more pack members than any of the others. This was a strategy that Suzanna had suggested they implement, because the death eaters will be so mixed up with insulting their lycanthropy that they might lose a little bit of their edge. Even Sirius had to admit she made a good point. It seemed to be working, because Sirius stuck close to the wall, hoping to move over enough so that Dumbledore and Moody could be waiting at the top of the next stair case if, or more like when, it was inevitable, the death eaters managed to find their way up to the fourth floor. While he was shifting along, trying to draw as little attention to himself as possible (a practice that he did not usually believe in, but desperate measures, hey) he noticed that the pack members were merciless with their magic. In any other circumstance Sirius would have been outraged, but it was his brother, his best friend, and their beautiful baby, who he suspected may also be his godson, that they were protecting. He saw Suzanna and made eye contact with her. He just nodded. It was a gesture of peace, he thought, and she smiled slightly at him, so he hoped that she took it the same way. She nodded towards the one she was duelling as if to say ‘I’d love to talk, but I’m a bit busy’ and Sirius nodded profusely in understanding. It was then that he noticed she was actually duelling four senior death eaters at once. And she was doing so almost effortlessly. This was Moody-level magic, Sirius realised, and he stood there for a moment in awe. She almost hit one of them with a green light, the Killing Curse, and they immediately fled. Before they could get up the stairs, Sirius felt a buzz run through him. A buzz that was Remus’ magic. A curse flew past Sirius and hit the death eater square in the jaw. Sirius let himself smile. His boyfriend had always been good at this. Unfortunately, upon looking at Remus himself, Sirius noticed that he was back to back with Sebastian. This was, of course, a perfectly normal position to duel in, but it angered Sirius so much that he threw a curse at the wall. He wasn’t trying to hit anyone, he just wanted to hear something break. And break, something did. Suddenly, the stone wall started crumbling. It wouldn’t collapse, but it was crumbling dangerously, and Sirius had no idea how to fix it. Sebastian looked the wall and then in the direction that the curse came from and saw Sirius. Sebastian just shook his head and murmured something while pointing his wand at the wall and it repaired itself instantly.   
“How about a thank you!” Sebastian yelled. Sirius rolled his eyes.  
More death eaters had begun duelling Suzanna, and the two men that Sirius thought were called Ben and Luke came over and assisted her. Once they were all there, three of the death eaters were on the ground instantly, and the others had enough sense to bolt, knowing that there was ho hope for them when it came to winning that fight.  
Dumbledore and Moody had headed upstairs, and it seemed as though Sebastian (even in Sirius’ head the name sounded disgusting), Remus, Suzanna and her counterparts had that side of the corridor covered. Sirius ran to the other side to join Caradoc, and surprisingly, Marlene and Dorcas, who had made their way up from the entrance floor. They worked better together than they would ever work with Dumbledore, or Hestia, or Emmeline, or Edgar, or even Moody. The Prewetts, Caradoc, Frank, Alice, Marlene, Dorcas, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Lily and James… no one worked better together than they did. So when these four were fighting off the death eaters, some senior, some trainees, they were all in sync. They covered each other effortlessly, and they manoeuvred around each other as if it came naturally, which, upon reflection, Sirius realised that it actually did.   
There were pack members waiting at the end of the corridors, camouflaged in the dark. They were there if an emergency was to befall them, and they were to head up to the next floor, the biggest floor with the most rooms, and the most places to cover, when everyone on this floor was disabled.  
Then, an emergency befell them.   
Footsteps began thundering up the staircase. Surely there weren’t MORE of them?! There had to be fifty in the building! But, now Sirius thought about it, he hadn’t seen Edgar or McGonagall for a while, and they were in charge of making sure than the stunned didn’t wake up…  
Ten death eaters stormed up the stairs. One of their masks was broken, revealing the all too pleasant face of Dolohov. Malfoy’s hair seemed to be there too, and it brought its body along with it. The others were unfamiliar, at least they were from this far away. Now there definitely wasn’t enough of Order members to resist. Fighting a couple of senior death eaters with a few more trainees was difficult, but they could manage with three powerful were-wizards (Sirius had to remember to ask Remus if that was a term. Then he remembered he couldn’t, because he and Remus were… he didn’t want to think about it) and four Order members. The Prewetts, Alice and Frank were upstairs, so was Peter, and Sturgis and Dedalus and Mundungus and some older pack members, and on the floors above were Emmeline and Hestia and most of the other pack members, and some more irrelevant (just Sirius’ opinion!) Order members, and above that would be Dumbledore and Moody, and inside the room, the youngest pack members, forming a barricade in front of Lily, James and baby Harry.   
“NOW!” Yelled Suzanna, Ben and Luke. Suddenly, and Sirius was guessing with the names here, Renee, Amy, Jackson, Max, and William appeared, running out of the dark on both ends of the corridor. The death eaters were genuinely lost and it took them a moment to register what was happening. Fortunately, the Order members and their allies used this moment to stun, curse and paralyse every death eater in their sight. The younger death eaters, the ones without the mark, were too slow and all dropped to the ground for one reason or another. The senior death eaters, including Dolohov and Malfoy’s hair, had dodged the curses and started to run upon the staircase. Judging by the squeal of insanity that could be heard on the way up the stairs, Bellatrix and Lestrange were there too.

Then there was light everywhere. The floor was like a fireworks show, and Sirius couldn’t tell what light was coming from who’s wand and who the light was meant to hit. The plants and subtle decorations around the wards were on fire, or shattered, or destroyed in some other violent way. Sirius was duelling Malfoy’s hair, which wasn’t all that difficult, because all Sirius had to do is mock the white locks that Lucius was sporting and that was enough to throw him off his game. Out of the corner of his eye, Sirius saw three of the pack members, he guessed Jackson, William and Renee, duelling Dolohov. Not good, Sirius realised, not good at all. Sure, these were powerful wizards, but Dolohov was one of the most powerful wizards that Sirius had ever known, right up there with Bellatrix, Lestrange, Karkaroff, the Carrows and Snape, who was suspiciously absent, meaning he was on a higher floor. He would never hurt Lily, so Sirius was sure Snape had quite a dilemma on his hands. Right now, he needed to help the three pack members, because otherwise one of them was going to die.   
Karkaroffr was duelling Marlene and Dorcas, who managed to take him down and petrify him. “OI! MCKINNON! MEADOWES! OVER HERE!”  
The two girls immediately ran to take over duelling Malfoy’s hair, and Sirius rushed to help fight Dolohov. Suddenly, Dolohov looked slightly worried. Now there were powerful wizards AND a wizard trained I’n combat. Sirius flung a curse at Dolohov which he immediately regretted throwing, because the cut that appeared on Dolohov’s arm seemed to just make him angrier. Dolohov raised his wand and brought it down to face Sirius, yelling “AVADA KEDAVRA!”   
A green jet of light streamed out of Dolohov’s wand, heading straight for Sirius. Sirius didn’t move away. He couldn’t block the curse, but he could dodge it, but some part of him wanted it to hit him. He had messed up so much. He had broken his relationship with Remus, he had fucked up his brother, he had pissed off the pack and he had disrespected all of the people who had ever been nice to him. He had stopped taking his potion week ago, too, because he didn’t deserve happiness. And right now he thought that everything fading away wouldn’t be such a bad thing.  
Everything happened in slow motion. The light was shooting towards him, and he had lowered his wand in surrender. He shut his eyes, waiting for impact, but it never came. The only thing that came was a scream from Renee and a cry of anguish from William. As Sirius opened his eyes he heard a cackle from Dolohov, who made his way up the staircase, dodging Aurors’ (when did they get here?) attempts to hex him and slow him down.  
Sirius saw Suzanna running over to him and yelling “Cover us!” Over her shoulder to the Aurors, Marlene, Dorcas, and the other random Order members (who Sirius decided he would learn the names of, if he survived, considering they were currently saving his life). He heard Suzanna sigh sadly, a sigh filled with emotion, and anguish, and love. Sirius brought himself to look down, and saw Jackson, lying on the floor in front of him. He watched his chest, hoping to see it rise and fall, but the breathing never came. He was dead.  
Renee was sobbing, but she came up next to Sirius and put her arm around his waist. “He jumped in front of you. He took the curse.”  
Sirius looked at her, eyes wide in shock. “Why the bloody hell would he do that?!” Sirius knew they didn’t have time for idle chit-chat, and Moody said to just leave the bodies, but this wasn’t an accident, It was a sacrifice.  
She smiled at him. “When Jackson was fifteen, after he was turned, a werewolf hunter came through the woods where he was walking with another girl, a girl called Sarah. The hunter knew what Jackson was, and he immediately fired the killing curse at him, straight at his chest. Sarah knew that Jackson would be able to better protect the pack than she, so she jumped in front of him, yelled for him to run, and took the curse for him. He had to run, he had to honour her. He’s always said that what goes around, comes around. This was him honouring her memory. He knows that you can protect us better than he can.” Sirius just started at her. These were really fucking good people. He opened his mouth to speak, but she silenced him. “Hey, we can talk later, if we survive. You go and kelp destroy the blonde headed fuck and then we can get up there and save the baby, okay? He didn’t just d this for you; he did this for Sarah, for our pack, for his honour, and for the universe. It was his time to do what one had done for him.”  
Sirius nodded, holding in tears. “Okay,” he managed.  
“Okay. Now, go!” She exclaimed, pushing him towards the battle.  
This was it, Sirius realised. Someone had died for him,. And he was not going to let anyone else die today. He ran next to Marlene and Dorcas and fired curse after curse, using all of the dark magic he had ever learnt from Grimmauld Place, and Lucius couldn’t keep up with him AND the girls. Eventually, all three of them hit him with a curse that caused him to fall to the ground, a gash along his chest. It seemed they were growing quite fond of this spell after all. Marlene bound him with ropes that could only be undone by the caster of the spell, and they moved to duel Karkaroff. That was easy, because the Aurors had him from the front, so Sirius just Crucio’d him for less than five seconds, just long enough for him to fall do the ground, and they petrified him and moved on. It seemed that the trainee death eaters were getting confused, so one of the Aurors just yelled “GET ALL OF THEM ON THE GROUND, THEN WE’LL CLEAR IT UP WHILE YOU GET UPSTAIRS!”  
The Order members nodded and Sirius started violently hexing all of the trainee death eaters, the ones without the mark, and once most of them - oops, Marlene just got the others - once ALL of them were on the ground, Suzanna and Renee joined them at the base of the staircase. They all looked at each other and bolted up the stairs. How Suzanna and Renee were staying so strong, Sirius had no idea, but he admired it nonetheless. The next floor was even more chaotic than the one below. There was more people here, almost every Order member (which comforted Sirius, because that meant that no one had died) and every pack member apart from the few situated on the top floor. Thsis was the floor of the birthing suites, and they were trying to ensure the death eaters didn’t look through them, because as soon as they realised that Lily and James and Harry weren’t there, they’d figure out exactly where they were.   
Sirius glanced at a clock, which immediately shattered after he had checked the time, and he realised that the fight had been going on for four hours. It barely felt like half an hour to Sirius, but he remembered that he had duelled Lucius for at least an hour, and including every other battle he had been in, four hours did make some sense.  
Remus and Sebastian were duelling Bellatrix, and Sirius had to admit that they made an incredibly good team, not that he would ever say that out loud, to anyone, EVER. Dolohov was fighting Max, Amy, Suzanna, Ben and Luke, who, after losing one of their own to the man, were as vicious as possible, and Dolohov looked stressed. Emmeline and Hestia were taking down the remaining trainee death eaters with ease. Frank and Alice had joined Remus in duelling Bellatrix, while the Prewetts were duelling the Carrows. They seemed like they needed assistance, so Sirius ran over to help them. In all honesty, he really wanted to duel the Carrows, because there was definitely some weird incest going on there and he was incredibly excited to tell them that.  
While Sirius, Fabian and Gideon continued throwing curses, Sirius called out “So! Did the incest start before or after mummy and daddy abandoned you?”  
The Carrows stumbled, making the twins smile. “We are NOT fucking!” Alecto yelled.“That’s what all the family members who are fucking say,” Fabian joined in.  
“Personally, Im happy for you. It’s not like you could find anyone else who wanted to get with either of you. I’m almost impressed. I’m guessing there’ll be a baby soon?” Gideon chimed in, further angering the Carrows.  
“WE AREN’T FUCKING!” They both yelled in unison.  
“Um, I’m pretty sure you are. That’s the only thing that could explain why all your deaths eater friends whisper it behind your back. We hear everything, you know,” Emmeline laughed.  
Suddenly, the Carrows started looking around at the other death eaters. “Do you really say that?!”  
Bellatrix cackled. “NOT THE TIME, INBREEDERS!”  
Amycus there a hex at Bellatriox which hit her in the ankle. She whipped around, and suddenly Amycus was duelling Bellatrix, making it all too easy to take them both down. Then it was five against Alecto, who wasn’t the most talented out of the two twins, and all too soon, both of the twins and Bellatrix were on the ground, paralysed, and bound by ropes for good measure. Lestrange made the mistake of peeking out from his hiding place around the corner, and Renee hit him square in the jaw with a hex that made him yelp. Sirius paralysed him, Suzanna bound him in ropes, and suddenly they were looking at a floor of very death-like death eaters.

After peeking around some corners, Alice and Frank confirmed that the floor was clear and the assorted Order members, Sirius, Caradoc (who had been helping the Aurors on the lower level), the Prewetts, Suzanna, Renee, Amy, Max, Sebastian, Marlene, Dorcas and Remus (and probably some others as well, but Sirius had more important things on his mind than naming everyone) ran up the staircase, only to be stopped by a protego charm.  
“The fuck?!” Marlene yelled.  
“I’ll disable it, just be careful! This doesn’t mean anything good!” Suzanna said, raising her wand and muttering an incantation.  
Slowly, the forcefield began to disappear, and they could hear screams clearly now. They turned the corner to the second staircase and realised that they had forgotten about the small mezzanine level where patients or visitors could grab something to eat. This floor was barely big enough for thirty people, and that’s back-to-back, squished in tightly.  
It definitely wasn’t big enough for every member of the Order, Aurors, werewolves and death eaters. Sirius and the others didn’t dare enter the fight. There was too much going on, and it was impossible for them not to be hit by a curse. Then, seemingly inevitably, a boy ran past Sirius, in a  
n act of what Sirius was sure he thought was heroism, a boy ran into the crossfire.  
“MAX!” Screamed Renee, before clapping her hand over her mouth, realising that the death eaters were now looking at them.  
A familiar squeal haunted Sirius’ ears. “COUSIN! I’m so glad you could join us!” Bellatrix shrieked as she attempted to curse Sirius, but her aim was poor due to her being so excited. All of the death eaters started moving slowly towards the group, and it seemed they had placed some sort of forcefield behind them, because the other fighters could not move forward or be heard.   
“Ready,” whispered a voice in Sirius’ ear. Sirius felt a pang in his chest. Every time Remus said ready in a battle, they knew exactly what sequence to follow. They knew what to do, and how to do it. Sirius shoved aside everything for a moment, and let himself fall into sync with his partner. Sirius nodded subtly, and he and Remus whispered “Ready,” just loudly enough for the others in the group to hear them. They all gave subtle nods and gripped their wands tighter. Sirius could sense that they were ready, and clearly Remus could too, because the two boys whispered “Now.” Everyone in the group raised their wands and fired every curse that they could think of at the death eaters. Sirius could clearly recognise them now.  
It seemed Bellatrix had made her way up here, as had Lestrange and Dolohov. Karkaroff was also there, but the Carrows must still be a little tied up. Snape, slimy Snape, was smiling under his mask, which had become almost pointless, because it was so clear who was underneath.  
Then Sirius skipped over the other faces because he was sure that he had just spotted himself. Under the mask were his cheekbones, his jaw, and staring straight back at him were his eyes. It’s been a while, brother, Sirius said in his head, hoping to miraculously learn to telepathically communicate.  
‘Yes, Siri, it has.’ Sirius whipped around, wondering where the voice was coming from, before he looked back at Regulus and realised that the voice was in his head.  
‘Holy shit! When did we learn to do this?’ Sirius thought, hoping Reg could still hear him.  
‘I guess we’ve never needed it. I’d ask how you’ve been, but we both seem a tad busy at the moment.’ Sirius heard Regulus say in his head.  
‘Yeah, I guess we are. I won’t fire any at you. You’re still my brother. If you died I’d still hold the body.’  
Sirius swore he heard Regulus smile in his head. ‘Thanks. I’ll try and avoid firing at you, too. And I’m not going to let them get James or Lily or the baby. What’s his name, by the way?’  
‘Harry,’ Sirius thought.  
‘Nice name. You and Remus still together?’  
Sirius considered this for a moment, before internally shaking his head. ‘I don’t know. He’s been with-‘  
‘Sebastian,’ Regulus’ thoughts cut him off. ‘Yeah, I know. It wasn’t his choice though… surely you know that?’  
Sirius internally sighed. ‘He should have told me.’  
Sirius could almost feel Regulus’ understanding nod as he heard him say ‘He couldn’t. Think about it, I forgave you for leaving me with Satan and his Mistress. He forgave you for almost letting him die. He forgave you for, what was it… Abigail? He’s always forgiven you.’ Reg reminded him.  
Sirius took a moment to think before responding. ‘This was different. This was him with Sebastian a week a month for more than a year!’  
Reg’s voice filled his head again. ‘Yeah.. And he didn’t cheat on you once. And Sebastian came onto him MANY times, by the way, and Remus shut him down every time. Lily SAW it happen!’  
‘I know. It’s just that what he did-‘  
Reg cut him off. ‘-is so much better than everything you did. Now, stop feeling sorry for yourself.’  
Even in his head Regulus’ voice was stern. Sirius eventually gave up, and responded ‘Fine. Do you realise how amusing it is that we’re having this conversation while both of us are meant to be trying to kill each other?’  
Sirius heard a chuckle ringing through his head, as he looked at Regulus who was keeping a straight face and quickly duelling an Auror. ‘I’m not actually trying to hurt anyone, this time at least. I’m trying to get to Max. And Jackson,’ Regulus explained in Sirius’ head.  
Sirius was confused. ‘Why? They’re good people! That pack is so nice! And by the way, Jackson’s dead already, so, yeah,’ Sirius finished.  
‘Yes!’ Regulus cried into Sirius’ head.  
‘Stop that! He was good! He saved my life!’  
‘Oh.’ Regulus quietened. ‘Well, I guess that’s slightly redeeming. I did like Jackson, as a person,, and m0re tham Max at least but he was still a traitor, and you and I both suck but at leastwise loyal.’  
Sirius nodded internally. Reg did have a point. ‘Wait, how do you know Jackson? And Max?’’  
Sirius heard Regulus sigh. ‘They’ve been feeding us information for a few months. Stuff about the whereabouts of the pack, and things about you. Hasn’t actually been very helpful, because you’ve been careful to only reveal what we already know, I’m impressed by the way, but they betrayed you and the pack and Suzanna who seems like a wicked dueller,’ Regulus thought, and Sirius watched him look to his left.  
‘I’m pretty sire they all hate me considering I just called them all and Lily liars.’Reg just thought ‘Eh, you win some, you lose some,’ and a scoff echoed through Sirius’ head ‘I’m not trying to kill any of you, just get Max. Not even kill him, but seriously maim him, or something like that.’  
Sirius tried not to smile. ‘You are so fucking morbid.’  
Regulus was holding a smile back, too. ‘Yeah. Learnt from the best. Anyway. I’m just going to try and get Max and then I’ll get them. To leave you alone so that you can go to Lily and them.’  
Sirius nodded. ‘Wait! Are you okay?’  
Sirius heard Reg whisper in his head. ‘Yeah, Siri. I am. Could be better, but there are a few trainees who have been sucked into this like me. I’m not alone. I miss you.’  
Sirius let himself smile. ‘I miss you too, Reg. And, if this is the last time I see you-‘  
Reg interrupted him. ‘Hey! Don’t say that! This war will be over, I’m praying to Merlin that you guys win so I can come home, and when it’s over we’ll be okay, both of us. I love you, Siri.’  
Sirius sighed, trying to believe him. ‘I love you too, Reg.’  
Sirius almost let himself slip out of the conversation in his head, but Reg said something else. ‘I won’t let anything happen to them, to Lily and James and the baby. And I know you hate him, but Snape won’t let anything happen to Lily either.’  
‘Yeah, fine,’ Sirius thought.  
‘Also, Siri?’  
‘Yeah?’  
‘Forgive Remus. From what Max and Jackson have told us, he’s been nothing but loyal to you, even when it could have cost him the pack’s trust.’  
‘I’ll think about it later, Reg. But I’m hearing you, I promise. Now, c’mon. One of us is going to pretend to be a death eater and get everyone down the stairs, can you help everyone down?’  
‘Yeah, ‘course I can. I’ll see you later, Siri.’  
‘I’ll see you later, Reg.’

Sirius shut off his mind to the communication, which was incredibly odd. Was it a familial thing? Who knows. He realised they’d been ‘talking’ for ten minutes while also viciously duelling the other side. One of the pack members, (William?), had polyjuiced himself slyly into one of the trainee death eaters and had run up the stairs, screaming “DOWN THERE! I HEARD THEM, DOWN THERE!”  
All of the senior death eaters turned around, and looked at each other, deciding what to do. Snape, who was either more stupid than they thought or had caught onto what the plan was, called out. “WELL? GO DOWN! ALL OF YOU!” The death eaters all shrugged and followed the poly juiced Order member down the stairs. The Aurors followed them, pretending that they were protecting whoever was down there, when in reality, there was just a lot of locked doors. It would take the death eaters at least an hour to get through all of them.  
There was no real danger to the operation having the opposition on the floor below, as there wasn’t actually anyone to protect. The Order members knew they had to play along and run after them, trying to fight them off. It was a bonus if they could disable a few more. Sirius looked at Caradoc and the Prewetts, who shrugged and all ran down the stairs, firing spells in every direction, and knocking over a few death eaters in the process. The pack members followed after, who were surprisingly calm about losing two of their family, however they were more determined than they had been before, which wasn’t a bad thing. Their magic was stronger, and that meant that the Order had more power. Alice and Frank followed, and so did Marlene and… Sebastian? Remus and Dorcas had stayed upstairs, which was odd, but Sirius was reminded that he didn’t have time to think about that as he ducked under a killing curse thrown by his dearest cousin. There were Order members who Sirius didn’t recognise, and many that he did, there were pack members spread across the hallway, cursing the death eaters who were trying to break the locking spells cast on all of the doors. Suddenly, while duelling Wilkes, Sirius noticed something incredibly strange. Sebastian and Peter were in an alcove, conversing like close friends, and no spells were coming close to them. They were either extremely lucky, or… spies.  
That’s the last thing Sirius thought before he was stunned violently and thrown up the stairs, knocking his head and passing out instantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've missed you all SO much!!!  
> I've got another one written, too, that I'll post later.  
> Love you. Thanks for sticking around.  
> -Gabs


	24. An Invasion - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second half of the battle of St Mungos, and Voldemort pays them a visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another long one!  
> New chapter will be up in 2-ish days.

Remus didn’t have time to think about Sirius right now. He knew that he would be angry, but he was also angry that Sirius WAS angry. It wasn’t Remus’ fault. He didn’t chat on him, he didn’t even consider it. There were so many chances where he could have betrayed his boyfriend, but Remus never even considered it. Well, maybe that wasn’t true, maybe he had considered it, barely once, maybe twice… but he never acted on it, and he never would. He had Sirius. It was Sirius and Remus, Remus and Sirius. That was just who they were. Partners in crime, partners during the full, duelling partners, partners in life. They loved each other, and they trusted each other, or at least Remus thought that they did. Why was Sirius so quick to believe that Remus had betrayed him? Did some part of him want it to be true? 

Remus shook the thoughts off and followed Dorcas up the stairs to check on the baby. Then he heard a mighty thud and whipped his head around, to see Sirius, lying unconscious, his head bleeding onto the stone. A death eater snuck past Remus, slowed down by some sort of injury, but he was getting up to the baby nevertheless. Remus knew that he had to follow, so he screamed “FOREST!” and Amy, Ben, Leila and Amalia rushed over to Sirius.  
“WHAT HAPPENED?” Amalia yelled. It was the only way that they could hear each other.  
“DON’T KNOW!” Remus responded.  
“I SAW IT! STUNNING SPELL. HE HIT HIS HEAD,” William yelled, running over.“I HAVE TO GO. HELP HIM, PLEASE,” Remus pleaded with the pack.  
They all nodded, and said something that was muffled by noise. Remus thought he could make out ‘of course’. 

With a last glance at Sirius, Remus ran up the stairs after Dorcas, finding the death eater running up and down the corridor, throwing curses to make walls fall down and roofs collapse. Dumbledore and Moody were standing in front of the hospital door, firing curses at anyone who tried to come up the stairs. Finally, Dorcas screamed, louder and angrier than Remus had ever heard her scream before, and the destructive death eater turned to face her, only to be hit in the face with a curse that Remus never thought he would see Dorcas Meadows use.“CRUICO!” Dorcas screamed, and a jet of red light streamed out of her wand, hitting the death eater in the chest. The man screamed himself and Remus kept expecting Dorcas to let up, and pull back her wand, let the man fall and whimper, allow the pain to stop. But she didn’t. She started crying, and it was almost like she couldn’t stop.  
“MEADOWES! STOP IT!” Moody yelled at Dorcas.“Enough, Dorcas.” Dumbledore said. He didn’t need to yell for everyone to hear him.  
“DORCAS MEADOWES FUCKING STOP IT RIGHT NOW!” Remus screamed at her.  
It was as if she didn’t hear them.   
The death eater was close to breaking point, and there was nothing they could do except beg Dorcas to stop. That was until the only one who could crack through the temporary insanity came running up the stairs.“DORCAS! STOP IT!” Marlene shouted while running over to her wife. Dorcas looked up, but couldn’t seem to stop. Marlene moved next to her wife, and started speaking quietly into her ear. “Baby, come on. I know it’s hard, but you’ve got to stop. We can win this, but only if you stop.”  
Dorcas looked at her with tears in her eyes. “I c-can’t.”  
Marlene placed her hand over Dorcas’ that was resting on her wand and whispered “I love you, Dorcas Meadowes McKinnon,” Marlene said quietly.  
With that, Dorcas dropped her wand, and they all let out a sigh of relief. Dorcas fell into Marlene’s arms and Marlene held her as she sobbed. Marlene mouthed ‘Go, to the room.’ At Remus, and he knew he had to do just that. Remus walked quietly to the end of the hallway and muttered the incantation to get through the door. As soon as he entered, he threw up a protego charm, which turned out to be a very good idea, because an array of curses were immediately flung at him from the teenagers barricading the hospital bed.  
“Hey, hey! It’s just me!” Remus exclaimed, holding his hands up in surrender.  
“Jesus Remus, you scared the shit out of me,” Isabella, sorry, Izzy, sighed.  
“Fucking hell, I almost passed out,” Vivienne muttered, sitting back down.  
Remus noticed that Elijah, Brayden and Noah looked increasingly confused. “Uh, Remus?”  
“Yeah?”  
They all nodded in the direction of Amber, who lifted her head and spoke. “Who have we lost?”  
Remus cocked his head. “What?”  
“She said, who have we lost? Which ones of us have died?” The other Max clarified.  
How on earth did they know?  
“We know because we’re a family, bonded by something stronger than blood. Who’s gone?”  
Remus was highly concerned that they could read his mind. “Can you hear what I’m thinking?”  
Izzy smiled. “Nah, we can just see it on your face. Something stronger than blood, remember?”  
Remus was touched. They considered him bonded to them, and considering the fact he hadn’t spoken to his parents in months, a family was what he needed. “Yeah, I remember.”  
They were all silent for a moment, before Brayden spoke, and although Remus had lived with the boy for weeks, had never really spoken much to Remus at all. “It was two or three of us, I’m guessing?”  
Remus nodded and summoned a seat for him to collapse in. It would be easier to do this sitting down. “I’m only sure about one, but I think two are gone.”  
In all honesty, Remus was sure two were gone. He had watched Jackson sacrifice himself and he knew that Max ran into open fire and was probably dead instantly, and if not, he would be dead by now.  
“Fuck!” Noah gasped.  
They all whipped around and looked at him. “What is it, Noah?” Vivienne asked.  
“Max.” The boy next to him looked at him, confused., “Not you, you twat, other Max. He’s gone.” A tear silently ran down Noah’s face. Remus wanted to ask how he could tell he was dead, but now didn’t seem like the time.  
Fortunately, Noah took it upon himself to explain. “We’re twins. Not identical, but when he gets hurt, I feel it in the same place. He’s gone. I can feel it all over. I can feel it inside.”  
Jesus fuck, Remus thought. What had he gotten the pack into? “I’m so sorry,” Remus said, and he meant it. Noah nodded in appreciation of Remus’ condolences, and then stared at Brayden, who, now Remus thought about it, had been the one who was explaining.  
“Oh, yeah. Anyway. There must be two or three of us gone. We can all feel it,” Brayden explained.  
A small voice piped up from behind the curtain where James and Lily and the baby must be sleeping or resting under the silencing charm. “We’d feel it if you died, too.” The girl who the voice came from appeared in front of Remus. It was Stephanie, holding baby Harry, who was dozing in her arms.   
Remus must have looked confused, because she carried on. “You’re part of us, too. Something thicker than blood.” Remus smiled up at her. This was a girl who had just lost two or three of her brothers, or sisters for all she knew, and she was as calm as could be.   
“Thank you, Steph,” Remus smiled at her. She smiled back at him. They didn’t really need to say anything else. That was an acceptance into their family. And judging by the faces of everyone else in the room, they agreed with her.  
“Could you tell us? Tell us who’s died?” Amber asked quietly.  
Remus nodded. “Max has. I saw him run into crossfire. It was a miracle that he didn’t pass instantly, to be honest.” He gave them all a moment to digest the information before he continued. “And Jackson, he’s gone. But you should know, he took a curse for someone on our side, he sacrificed himself to save someone else.”  
“Was it someone who was more powerful? Better able to protect everyone?” Noah asked.  
Remus nodded. “Sarah.” A couple of them said in unison, weak smiles on their faces. “Sarah.” Remus added. He knew the story. It made sense.  
It was quiet for a minute or two, and Vivienne had gotten up to wrap her arms around Stephanie and the baby. They kissed briefly, and Remus needed to remember to get the galleon off Suzanna for winning the bet that they’d get together.   
Remus cleared his throat, knowing he had somewhere else to be. “Steph, are James and Lily alright?”  
She nodded. “Lily is asleep, she passed out from the shock. I spoke to James for a while, and he fell asleep after. I had Harry, so they knew he’d be okay. I said I’d wake them soon.”  
Remus smiled, and stood up. “I have to go, there could be a lot happening outside that we don’t know about. I’ll look the door again, with the charms. Good job, by the way. Curse everyone and everything that comes in. If they’re from our side, they’ll be smart enough to cast a protection spell. Otherwise, sucks to be them, I guess.”  
They all gave a weak chuckle at that, and on his way out, Remus mouthed ’Thanks’ to Stephanie, who smiled as she disappeared behind the curtain once more.

Remus opened the door and quickly recast the locking charms, before running to the top of the stairs. Dorcas had levitated Sirius up, and was tending to him in a room off the mezzanine level. “Remus!” She hissed, beckoning him inside.  
He snuck in. “Is he okay?”  
She pointedly didn’t nod. “No. He’ll survive though, but only if someone keeps looking after him. The thing is, Marlene can duel, really fucking well actually, but she isn’t the same without me, she’s reckless and doesn’t cover herself, I need to go.”  
He nodded. “Okay, sure. Who can look after him?”  
Dorcas shook her head. “That’s the thing. The only people who know these healing spells are me and Marlene, who need to be down there, like, now, Sirius, who is clearly unable to help right now,” she said sarcastically, gesturing to the motionless body of Remus’ boyfriend lying on the ground, “you and Peter. I would ask Peter, but… something’s going on down there, something-“  
“Fishy?” Remus suggested, finishing the sentence for her.  
“Yes. Fishy. Something really odd. I don’t trust him right now. Seriously, lo0ok down the stairs,” Dorcas said, motioning to the staircase.  
Remus got up and peeked around the bannister to the still vicious fight, and noticed Peter and Sebastian, standing quite literally in the MIDDLE of the crossfire, no spells being fired at them at all. They weren’t even covering people who needed it, they were just chatting, like they were in line at a Library or something. Yeah, something wasn’t right. He didn’ty have time to figure out what it was, but he definitely knew that something was up.   
He made his way back to Dorcas. “Yeah. I see what you mean. So?” He asked, waiting for her to tell him what they were going to do.  
“I hate to say it Rem, but you’ve got to do it.”  
“What?!” He exclaimed, as quietly as he could manage.   
“You’ve got to take him. Heal him. Keep him alive. The stunning spell was matched with a curse. If he isn’t healed and watched constantly he WILL die.”  
“Wow Dorcas, way to soften the blow,” Remus said sarcastically.   
She just glared at him. “Take Sirius to James’ and Lily’s room. And, yes, I know the packs in there are they aren’t the biggest fans of him, but you love him and they love you, and if we both leave him here, which is the only other option, he WILL die. So, what are you thinking?”  
Remus sighed. He knew there was only one option, but it didn’t make that option any more pleasant. Also, what the fuck was going on with Peter?!  
“Fine. I’ll take him. But can you levitate him up? I’ll have to cast a protection charm so we don’t get cursed when we get in.”   
Dorcas nodded. “Yes. We’re going now, though.” She levitated Sirius on a stretcher she had summoned.  
Remus almost jumped. “Shit, like now, now?”  
She glared at him. “Yes, you twat. Quietly, now. Cover us.”  
Dorcas crept out of the room, floating Sirius in front of her, and carefully climbing the stairs. Remus followed her, walking backwards to cover them from behind. They made their way safely to the top of the stairs, when suddenly a death eater appeared out of the shadows in front of Remus. “Don’t turn around. Wait for me at the door. Go!” He whispered to Dorcas, who followed his directions and kept moving. The death eater moved menacingly towards Remus, muttering something sinister that wasn’t a curse, meaning it was meant for Remus, but the mask muffled the words, so it just sounded like gibberish. It was rare for death eaters to attack alone, they were pack animals, much like wolves, but unlike wolves, they travelled in packs out of cowardice, rather than out of natural affliction. Remus didn’t dare attack before the other death eater appeared. He would at least like to know what he was up against. There were two figures in the shadows, that Remus could only see due to his lycanthropy, and he swore he was going crazy, because one of those figures was wearing a cloak and a mask, but the other was in plain clothes, clothes much like his own. The figure wasn’t wearing a mask, and was having a muffled argument with the death eater next to… him? Yes, him. The two weren’t fighting like enemies, they weren’t duelling, they were arguing like old acquaintances. Something was wrong, and in any other situation Remus would have done everything to find out what it was, but there was a wand pointed at him and his best friends, his boyfriend and a baby to protect, so for how he would settle with confusion until he had a second to actually think. It seemed like the shadowed figures had stopped arguing, and the death eater emerged, leaving the other figure in the darkness.  
Remus thought this would be easy enough, considering that the death eater he was originally faced with didn’t have the mark and held his wand in a charm position, but the second death eater was big, angry and almost definitely Dolohov. His mask slipped. Alright, now he was definitely Dolohov. The three men stood, facing each other, waiting for someone to make the first move. Suddenly, the junior death eater threw a curse at Remus that he wasn’t prepared for, spinning him around and knocking him to the ground, cuts appearing all over his left. He looked up at the door to James and Lily’s room, and noticed that Dorcas and Sirius had disappeared. This meant Dorcas had somehow performed simultaneous spells, or they’d been taken. Them being taken was the much more likely option. Fuck.  
Unfortunately, that wasn’t the only issue, because Remus was now barely able to move and a weaker death eater was behind him, and Dolohov was pointing his wand at Remus’ head. At least he thought it was Dolohov… Remus spun himself around on his stomach so that, even though he was on the ground, he could see the death eaters. Yep, Dolohov had a wand at his head, the other death eater had a wand at his neck, and the figure finally emerged from the shadows. Remus could barely see above the boy’s knees, but he recognised his shoes. This man was wearing Remus’ old shoes. His father had customised them, and Remus had grown out of them, so they were definitely his. There was only one person who he had given them to, and he was very opposed to conversing with death eaters secretly in the shadows. But, sure enough, the person who ran by him was none other than Sebastian Pence.

That was a shock, Remus thought. Seb? Maybe the trainee death eater was a spy for the good side. Remus hoped this was it, because otherwise Sebastian was either a spy or a very close friend of a death eater, a star-crossed lovers kind of situation. Just as he was thinking this, Dolohov stepped back. Just as Remus let out a sigh of relief, Dolohov cried out “CRUCIO!” And a jet of light hit Remus in the back.  
Okay, Remus thought, Sirius had taught him how to deal with this. It’s just pain, nothing more than that. It will be over soon. This helped for a second or two, but then the pain became truly unbearable. Remus started screaming, and Dolohov and the other bastard were laughing their heads off. Remus felt himself slipping away. He’d been crucio’d before, but he’d never gotten to hear. He’d been told about it, of course, the moment where the line between pain and death blur, and the moment you no longer know who you are. He was close, he knew it, and he slowly stopped being able to think. Then, he heard two voices yell, snapping him out of the agonising trance.  
“NOT MY HUSBAND, YOU COWARD!”  
The pain stopped, and Remus desperately just wanted to stay on the ground, and lie there for a moment, but he forced himself to get up, and face the person who was defending him. He knew who it was, but he didn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe it.  
Sure enough, as he raised himself off the ground, Remus saw Sirius, who was leaning on the wall, blood pouring down his face, duelling Dolohov. Just as the other death eater picked up his wand, a jet of light hit him front behind, and Remus saw a smiling Dumbledore, who then flung a curse at Dolohov, leaving him paralysed on the floor.  
“Well. Are we all sorted here?” Dumbledore said brightly.  
Remus groaned. “No. C-cruico,” is all he managed before falling backwards. He was caught by familiar arms, and as soon as he regained his balance, Remus spun around. “You!” He yelled.  
Sebastian looked confused. “Me?”  
“Yes! You! You’re with them!” Remus shouted.  
Sebastian laughed nervously. “Me? With them? I don’t think so! Did you hit your head too hard?” It seemed as though, when Sebastian looked around, he was waiting for those watching to laugh with him, but they all looked perplexed. “What?” Sebastian asked, looking at Dumbledore.  
“Oh, nothing,” Dumbledore sighed. “We have a battle to get too. Down the stairs, let’s go!” Dumbledore gestured down the stairs, and Sebastian reluctantly followed.  
Sirius ran up to help Remus stand, and Dorcas rushed out the door. She summoned a stretcher next to Remus, despite his protests that he didn’t need one, and levitated him back into the hospital room.  
“Jesus fuck! Can’t stay out of trouble for five minutes, can we?” Vivienne smirked at Remus, who was half asleep already.  
There was a large hospital bed behind another curtain that Sirius had been in, and Remus laid down under the covers, allowing Sirius to climb in next to him.  
“I’m sorry.” Sirius stated. There were no ‘ifs’ or ‘buts’ about it, it was a genuine, blunt apology. That was real, from Sirius.  
“It’s okay,” Remus smiled at him.Sirius shook his head. “No, it’s not. I’ve done horrible things. I’ve cheated, I’ve lied, I’ve tried to leave you. I’ve hurt you beyond repair, but somehow you’ve forgiven me, and loved me more each time. The least I could do is trust you. I know you didn’t do anything with Sebastian. I know you wouldn’t. So don’t say it’s okay, when it’s not. The way I’m treating you isn’t, the way I have treated you isn’t, and this war isn’t. Sebastian isn’t, the fight downstairs isn’t. None of this is okay. But I love you, and you love me, so it will be okay. Maybe not today, but it will be okay.”  
Remus smiled at him and let his boyfriend curl into his chest. “Sirius, can I tell you something?” Sirius hummed in response, so Remus continued. “You’re the light of my life. I wouldn’t ever hurt you, okay? And the fact that you’ve hurt me? You did that because you were trying to hurt yourself. I know you love me, even if I forget it sometimes. And you know I love you, even if you feel like you don’t deserve it sometimes. You’re… you’re everything, Sirius, you always have been. I’m not angry at you, I’m never angry at you, I’m just sad that you don’t believe me. I would die for you, and I just wish that was enough.”  
Sirius sat up. “It is enough! I’m just a twat! You’re more than enough for me! I don’t deserve better than you, because Remus, there ISN’T better than you. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, and I’m sorry I don’t show you that all the time. I’m sorry I’m not as good as you, but I’m trying. You make me want to try. I love you, okay?”  
Remus smiled. His heart was warm. “Yeah, baby. I love you too.”

——————————————————————————

An hour or two passed, and Remus almost felt guilty for not helping out in the battle. Dorcas had gone back down, James and Lily had baby Harry again and weren’t speaking to anyone, which remus completely understood, considering this was their first day as a family and they were spending it in lockdown.Stephanie had told them the story of her baby. She was fifteen when she got pregnant, and she moved into her boyfriend’s house. He hadn’t told her he was a werewolf until the baby was one, when one night he forgot to lock the cellar, and he escaped, biting her, and killing the baby. That’s why she was so protective, she said.  
Sirius had healed Remus’ leg, and Remus in turn had healed Sirius’ head continuously. They had been so angry at each other, but now they were lying in each others arms on the other hospital bed. They didn’t need to talk to know that all was forgiven.   
Remus glanced up at the clock, and saw that there was only an hour to go before Harry had officially even born for 12 hours, and the death eaters would finally fuck off.   
The room was silent for a while. Stephanie and Vivienne were cuddling up on an armchair, and the boys were all lying against the wall, their eyes shut, yet unable to drift off. James and Lily and baby Harry were still safety behind a protego and silencing charm, and there was an unspoken agreement that no one would bother them.   
Remus and Sirius were still to weak to fight, and the others knew better than to get involved in a battle that they weren’t prepared for.

This gave Remus time to think about the shoes he had seen running past while he was on the floor. It was Sebastian, undoubtedly. Remus knew the sounds of his footsteps by now, and the shoes were just the confirming factor. Remus knew the logical explanation for why Sebastian was there, speaking with death eaters who, immediately after seeing Seb, tried to kill Remus. He knew, deep down, exactly what was going on. It didn’t mean he wanted to believe it. Remus sat there for a while, trying to come up with more and more implausible explanations for Sebastian’s whereabouts at that moment, but eventually he just let out a sigh. He’s a spy, Remus admitted to himself. He has been all along. Sirius was right not to trust him.   
It made sense really. Sebastian had always asked more and more personal questions about The Order, and its plans, and its defences. He was always disappearing to strange places over night. Remus was careful not to reveal anything, because that was his training. Sebastian was probably trying to get with him to lower his defences.  
Somehow, even though he’d had gone about it like a right bastard, Sirius was completely right. Remus knew he had to say something to the pack, lest they be the ones in danger next, so he took a deep breath and swung his legs over the side of the bed, careful not to wake his sleeping boyfriend. 

Just as he was about to stand up, Luke burst through the door, followed by a red-faced Ben.“STOP!” Luke yelled. Everyone looked incredibly perplexed.“Stop what exactly?” Brayden asked, yawning.  
“Is Sebastian here?” Ben panted, looking around the room.  
“No? Why-“  
Luke cut Elijah off. “He’s working with the other side. He’s been working with the other side this whole time.”  
Everyone dropped their jaws, but Remus just sighed and put his head in his hands. The silence was interrupted by a “HA! I KNEW IT!” Coming from behind Remus.“Ah, Sirius. You’re awake,” Remus sighed, with the hint of a smile. Sirius smiled back at him.  
Everyone seemed like they were about to protest Sirius’ exclamation, but after a moment they all nodded their heads. “Hey! That’s-“ Stephanie frowned and looked at Sirius as she rephrased. “Actually, yeah. That’s fair.” Sirius nodded. Luke cleared his throat, and they all looked back at him.  
“Well, you know that. I don’t have time to explain everything, but Max, not you, Max, the other Max, and Jackson, they’re working with Sebastian too. Have been since before Remus joined us.”  
Remus considered this for a moment, before speaking up. “Wait, wasn’t it Sebastian that suggested I come to the pack in the first place?”   
They all nodded, looking weary. “Yes, Remus, it does appear he was digging for information, but you, quite admirably, I might add, have not shared anything classified. Much to the other side’s disappointment, I’m sure, but also much to our advantage. So, we should be thanking you.” Ben finished.  
Remus felt horribly guilty. He wasn’t sure why, but it felt wrong to have these people thank him for NOT trusting them completely, even thought it was for the best in the end. “Yeah, alright,” Remus muttered meekly, keeping a small smile on his face.  
“Well, we’ve got Sebastian a little… tied up, so to speak, until the end of the battle, so we have to deal with Jackson and Max now,” Luke sighed.  
“Uh, yeah, about that,” Sirius chimed in. “Jackson’s dead. Dead as a doornail. Saw it myself. My condolences and all, but there’s no threat there.”  
A strange mix of grief and relief crossed Luke and Ben’s faces. “And Max?” Ben asked.  
“Also dead,” Remus spoke up. “Brought it upon himself, really.”  
Luke and Ben both nodded. It must be terribly difficult, Remus thought, to have lost two of your ’sons’ and have to logically be ‘glad’ about it.   
The silence that rang throughout the room for the next minute was almost as deafening as the battle outside, until a voice that none of them had heard all day cam from behind them.  
“There’s only half an hour left. You should stay in here. It will just make it worse to bring more attention to this floor.”  
The voice had a strange softness to it. Some would mistake it for weakness, but it wasn’t. The tone was gentle, and soothing, and understanding. James Potter was speaking with the tone of a father.  
Remus watched Sirius grapple with what to do. Whether to hug him, or smile at him, or acknowledge his best friend’s presence with a nod. James and Sirius came to the silent conclusion that a nod would suffice, and James continued. “Lily’s sleeping. I’d like it to stay that was. Harry has barely cried. I think he knows what’s going on.”  
“He’s as smart as his father,” a second voice spoke, Lily appearing next to James. “Harry’s in the crib. We-“ she looked at James, “-are going back under the charm, but thank you. Thank you all, so, so much.” She smiled weakly at them, and disappeared behind the curtain.“Have we lost anyone?” James whispered.  
Remus shook his head. “No one that matters, as far as I know.”James nodded. “Right, well, wife’s orders, got to go back. Hex Snivellus will you, boys?”Sirius and Remus smirked last each other. “We’ll do our best.”

—————————————————————-

Five minutes of the battle left, Remus thought, looking at the clock on the wall. He’d been thinking, for a while, that it would be smarter to just stay in the room, to take shelter. It was almost over, after all. But deep down, Remus knew he was a Marauder at heart, and since when have the Marauder’s made sensible decisions?  
Remus turned to Sirius, but it appeared that Sirius was thinking the same thing, because he was already up and taking his wand from his holster. “Right, Moony. Time to fuck up some Slytherins?” Sirius said with a twinkle in his eye.Remus smiled back with determination and got out of bed. “Yes, Padfoot, I believe that it is.”

Remus and Sirius ignored the protests of the others as they exited the room. They were best friends, over it all, and no one could stop them once they had set their mind to something. The crept along the darkening hallway until they had reached the top of the stairs, and they were thrown backwards by the force of a protection charm. Remus sat up, rubbing his head, and whispered “Blimey,” as he and Sirius began to mutter incantations to break through the forcefield. Once it was effectively disabled, the noise from the battle below hit them like a hurricane. There were screams and there were shouts and the bangs and flashes of spells rebounding and impacting. Just as Remus thought that they could get away with sneaking into the battle, there was an all too familiar slimy voice from behind them.  
“So, we’ve finally decided to stop hiding like cowards, have we?”   
Remus and Sirius whipped around to the unpleasant face of Severus Snape. “Yes, Snivellus, we’ve decided that hiding in there while you were out here was somewhat of a… wasted opportunity,” Sirius snarled. Ah, Remus thought. There was nothing more cutting that Sirius’ wit.  
Snape seemed lost for words, but Remus actually had a question. “I have lots of insults I could throw at you, like how you’re a great slimy git who needs shampoo and face wash, but my actual question is why are you here? You’re not actually going to hurt Lily, are you?”  
Snape actually frowned. It seemed as though he had been struggling with this dilemma as well. “I wouldn’t hurt Lily, no. But I would hurt James, with great pleasure, and I’m not leaving here without that stupid baby!”  
“That baby, who Lily would die without?” Sirius pointed out.  
“That baby, who you would have to kill Lily to get to?” Remus added.  
“That baby, who you would have to kill all of us to get to?” A voice came from behind Snape. Was that… Dumbledore? Snape looked guiltily at him. “Yes, Severus, I must admit, I DID think better of you. You had potential, you know. You DO have potential, to be a great wizard.”  
“I AM a great wizard,” Snape growled.Dumbledore smiled. “Ah, yes. That you may be. But you are not a good wizard, are you?” Dumbledore allowed a moment for Snape to respond, but once it was clear that he wasn’t going to, Dumbledore simply shrugged and continued. “There are a lot of people in this building today, Severus. Lots of death eaters, The Order, Aurors, werewolves… Yes, there are a lot of people. All fighting for one tiny baby. I know you love her, Severus. I know you do. But you surely must know that if you take her baby from her she will never, ever love you?”  
“And she won’t rest until you’re gone, done for…” Remus trailed off.  
“She won’t rest until you’re dead.” Sirius said finally.  
Something about that statement ignited rage inside Snape like they’d never seen. He shouted an unfamiliar incantation and a jet of blue light ricocheted down the stairs. Almost instantly, death eaters began bolting up the stairs to where Snape, and unfortunately, Sirius, Remus and Dumbledore, were standing. Order members were caught in between the rush of death eaters, and somehow the Order members and the Aurors and the remaining members of the pack managed to make it to the top first. They all stood in a tight line, barricading the top floor’s entrance, and immediately unleashed open fire on the staircase. Bodies fell, one by one, paralysed, tortured, hexed, jinxed and cursed, as the members of the resistance fired at them.

Then, a cold wind rushed through the hall, and all of the death eaters fell into a bow. Remus didn’t need to turn around to know that this most definitely wasn’t good. He scanned the line, and noticed that Peter and Sebastian weren’t there, but he also saw Regulus, kneeling in front of them, his wand pointing behind him. He had been firing at his own to protect the baby. Maybe the Black’s weren’t all bad after all.   
A high laugh sent shivers down Remus’ spine. A laugh more chilling than even Bellatrix’s. As much as they didn’t want to, the resistance turned around, and in front of them stood Lord fucking Voldemort.  
“Well!” The snake-like face spoke. “Isn’t this a lovely turnout?”  
The death eaters, for the first time ever, actually looked frightened. The younger ones were shaking with fear, and the older ones we’re breathing heavily, trying to mask their nervousness.  
“So.” Voldemort spoke to The Order in general. “Where is the child?”  
None of them dared answer. One wrong word and they’d be dead in an instant. Even Moody was keeping his mouth shut. Then, someone stepped out of line. Remus flinched, before he realised that it was Dumbledore. The only one that Voldemort had ever been afraid of.“Hello, Tom,” Dumbledore said calmly. “You are a little late to the party, but it’s fashionable to be last these days, yes?” Dumbledore looked at the dark wizard, as if waiting a response, but once it was clear there was no chance he was going to receive one, he continued. “I believe it is. I also believe we can sort this out in a reasonably calm manner.”  
“Calm?!” Voldemort cackled. None of the Aurors, werewolves or Order members dared move a muscle. The death eaters didn’t, either. It appears that they were as afraid of their master as the resistance was.  
“Yes, Tom, calm,” Dumbledore repeated.  
“My name isn’t Tom!” Voldemort shouted, and threw a hex at Dumbledore, who blocked it effortlessly.  
“Ah, but it is. But if you choose to go by Voldemort these days, I understand. It will just take a bit of… getting used to.”  
Suddenly, Voldemort and Dumbledore were duelling. It was odd to watch, really. It was silent, apart from the strange zapping noise that echoed throughout the halls every time a curse was blocked. After a few minutes, Dumbledore threw up a protego forcefield, and checked his watch. “Well, it’s been twelves hours, so if you’d like to be on your way, that would be wonderful,” Dumbledore said, with a genuinely respectful smile.  
“Enough foreplay, old man,” Voldemort snarled. “I’m not leaving here without the child.”  
Dumbledore merely sighed. “I was afraid you would say that. Unfortunately, you will not be leaving with the child. If you try to, we will have to duel more, and I, for one, am incredibly tired. Long day, you see,” Dumbledore explained. Remus had no fucking clue how he was speaking to the most dangerous wizard of all time with such serenity.  
“I’ll duel until I get that child. Because YOU,” Voldemort shouted, gesturing at the death eaters behind the resistance members, “YOU, have failed me. I wanted this child before the twelve hours were up. Now I’m not even sure if it would be worth killing it.”  
Remus desperately wanted to speak up, but he forced himself to keep his mouth shut. It was better that way. It was safer that way.  
Unfortunately, not everyone in the line at the top of the stairs had Remus’ common sense. An Order member, who Remus originally vowed to learn the name of, stepped out of line, causing the rest of the Order to hold in a gasp. “It would be quite pointless killing him now, though. He showed no signs of magic in the past twelve hours, and he might just be a squib. So if you go after him it could really be for nothing,” the woman said. Remus had to admit that she had a great point, but that wasn’t a good enough reason to argue with LORD VOLDEMORT while he had a direct line of fire towards her.“Who are you?” Voldemort asked, calmly.  
“Does it matter?” She responded quietly. She had obviously realised she had made a horrible mistake.  
“Yes, it does. It matters because I like to know the names of the people I get rid of.”  
Dumbledore stepped in front of her. “Tom, there’s really no need to do it like this-“  
Voldemort raised his wand and blasted Dumbledore away from her. “Actually, Dumbledore, I think that there is. I am Lord Voldemort. You might not realise it yet, but I own you.”  
“You’ll never own me. You’ll never own any of us,” she said. It was clear that she had accepted her fate, that she was going to die. She could say whatever she wanted to now.  
Voldemort looked furious. “That is ENOUGH!” He shrieked. “AVADA KEDAVRA!”  
Remus watched a green jet of light hit the girl in the chest. She fell to the floor like a rag doll, lifeless and cold.  
Voldemort smiled, an evil smile at that, and lowered his wand. “Now that’s taken care of, where is the child?”  
Remus heard movement behind him and forced himself not to turn around. Any wrong move and he’d end up like the girl on the floor. Out of the corner of his eye, Remus saw a young death eater pointing towards James and Lily’s room. Fuck, fuck, fuck.  
“Thank you, young Caspar. You have shown great loyalty, and Lord Voldemort rewards loyalty. Come up here, now.” It wasn’t a question.  
The boy, who’s name was apparently Caspar, pushed past Remus and stood in front of Voldemort. “You have been trailed well. Hold out your arm.” Caspar did as he was asked, and Voldemort pressed his wand down into the young boy’s arm. The mark spread over his skin.  
“Thank you, Dark Lord.”Voldemort just nodded, and sent him pack to his spot on the stairs. “I guess that is where I will be going, then.” Everyone got ready to follow him, because they knew that the werewolves in the room couldn’t take fucking Voldemort alone, and all of the order members quietly followed Voldemort down the hallway. He was about ten paces from the door, when the snake-faced man turned around. “You think I am that obtuse?” He cackled as he cast a protection charm, that even Dumbledore would have trouble breaking. Remus glanced over at Sirius, who must have been thinking the same thing: What the hell can we do now?

Voldemort cackled, so loudly that Remus was sure it could be heard throughout the whole hospital. “POTTERS! SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR SWEET BABY! HE’S ALL MINE NOW!”  
Voldemort took two slow steps towards the door, before it burst open in front of them. Remus tried not to close his eyes and flinch. This was the end, it had to be.  
Then again, he should have known better than to underestimate his friends.  
“NOT MY SON, YOU BASTARD!” Lily shouted, still in her hospital gown. She shot a curse at Voldemort that he was entirely unprepared for, and the man stumbled backwards.“You think I can’t fight you own your own, pretty girl?” Voldemort smirked.   
“No, I think you can,” a second voice came from inside the room. “But you’ll have to go through me.” The shock of James coming through the door meant that Voldemort was caught off guard, and the curse that James sent flying at the man hit him square in the chest. A cut opened up, and Remus saw Voldemort clenching his fists, trying not to wince.  
“Very clever, two of you. Does that mean that baby of yours is all alone in there?” Voldemort snarled, with considerably less rigour than before. His chest was open and bleeding, after all.Brayden, Elijah, Max, Luke and Ben all stepped out of the room. “They would NEVER leave their baby alone,” Elijah said fiercely, and all five of the men fired at Voldemort.  
Vivienne came out before Voldemort had time to recover. “Fuck you, snake-face.” She growled.  
All of them raised their wands, and simultaneously yelled different curses and fired at Voldemort. The wizard managed to block them this time, but it was clear that he did not do so with ease. The wizard smiled. “You think it will be that easy?! None of you have my power!”  
Remus saw a grin spread across Lily’s face. “NEVER underestimate the power of a mother’s love for her fucking son, you absolute pig.”  
At that moment, Lily and James raised their wands and shouted an unfamiliar curse at Voldemort, a curse that he couldn’t block. They kept shouting it and casting the spell again, until Voldemort fell out of his own forcefield. “ENOUGH!” The man yelled, still bleeding. But he wasn’t bleeding blood, it was more of a black substance oozing from his wound. Made sense, Remus thought. There wasn’t much human left in him anyway.  
“LEAVE! ALL OF YOU!” Voldemort shouted at his death eaters. They all raised their heads and obeyed, scrambling down the stairs. Voldemort whipped back around to face Lily and James. “And you two? See you in six months,” he grinned. Lily and James fired a final curse at him, but it hit the wall. Voldemort disappeared.

Voldemort disappeared and the battle was over. Sebastian was nowhere to be seen, and there were bodies to clean up.  
Subconsciously, Remus ran to Sirius, and they held each other.   
“It’s over,” Remus whispered to Sirius.  
“It’s over,” Sirius whispered back.“Yes boys, it is over. For now.” Moody said to them quietly.  
He had a point, Remus realised. It’s only over for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It feels so good to post again! Leave comments please :)  
> xoxo Gabby


	25. Recovery - Sirius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily's struggling, and they can all see thestrals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and sweet, well, not sweet, but honest. I want to make this a more realistic version of what happened, and Lily definitely would've struggled.

After the battle, James and Lily had been on high alert. They all had been, but no-one as much so as James and Lily. It was their baby, after all. And an army of dark wizards had tried to kidnap their baby. No, Sirius had to keep reminding himself, they weren’t trying to kidnap Harry. Kidnapping implied they were planning to do something with him, raise him, perhaps hold him for ransom. They didn’t come to kidnap the newborn, they came to kill him. And Sirius didn’t even want to think about the punishment that the death eaters could be receiving for not managing to do so.  
In theory, it should’ve been easy. Over fifty dark wizards with no curses off-limits, half of them older and trained well, some of the most powerful wizards Sirius had known of, let alone battled, and their other half of them young and angry. It was the perfect combination, Sirius thought. Trained wizards that have the power to kill with a single wave of their wand, and young untrained wizards who were free to wreak havoc and fire spells at anyone in their way. Give power to young, angry wizards like that, and mayhem will always follow.  
So yes, in theory, it should have been easy. This massive army, against a defence force made up half of teenagers, fresh out of school, and half of untrained werewolves, with a few wizards like Emmeline and Edgar, who were powerful, and talented, but not trained in combat in the slightest. From an outsider’s perspective, there was a clear winner before the fight even started. But, just like it had most times, The Order had come out on top.  
Voldemort must not be happy. He mustn’t be happy at all.

————————————————————

Sirius had started taking his potion again, after the battle. The brush with death was a little too close for his liking, even though he didn’t mind the idea at the time. He also realised that Remus was still Remus, and everything that he hid he was forced to. Regulus, on the day of the battle, all that time ago, had reminded Sirius that Remus had been put through much worse than lying. But Sirius realised that Remus never actually lied, he just didn’t tell Sirius the whole truth. So, since then, they’d talked about it once. They’d yelled, and screamed, and spat horrible words at each other, and they had shouted all night long.  
Then, at the end of the night, the both looked at each other, and simply whispered “I’m sorry.” They fell into bed together, and held each other. There were tears, Sirius thought, but it wasn’t sadness, it was relief. That was the last night they had talked about it. When Sebastian’s name came up in conversation, Sirius’ heart pounded furiously, but then Remus would grab his hand. Remus would always grab Sirius’ hand, and squeeze it, and Sirius felt like he could breathe again. Then they would go home, and watch muggle television, or fuck, or sleep, or swim in the massive ‘bath’. The would visit baby Harry at least five times a day, only leaving when they could tell that James and Lily needed time with their baby.  
Sirius had been named godfather, and Lily and James had told Remus that they were going to start trying again when Harry turned one, and that would Remus be godfather to their next one? At that moment, Remus and Sirius became determined to find out how to make babies like them. It was surprisingly easy, Sirius thought. Babies are like Sirius when he’s in a bad mood. They appreciate funny faces and people tickling them and, really, babies just like smiling, and it was easy to make a baby smile. 

The raids and battles had settled somewhat, however they all knew, the whole Order, that soon enough they would start again. There were guards stationed outside the building at all times, and Dumbledore had bought out every other flat in the building so that there weren’t any questions asked about why there were wizards in tactical gear constantly positioned outside their apartment building. Where he got the money, Sirius had no idea. Fortunately, Alice and Frank moved into a flat in the building, bringing Neville with them, because there were plenty of free apartments, after all. The Prewetts and Peter (strangely, because Peter would’ve usually killed to be included) turned down the offer to move into a flat (“It’s rent free!” Dumbledore would advertise) but Caradoc moved into one with his boyfriend and his girlfriend. None of them were brave enough to ask what the fuck was going on there, but the boyfriend was William from the pack, and the girl was the daughter of an older Auror, so they both had a thorough understanding of the situation, and respected everyone else’s privacy. 

The worst part, now that it was three months after Harry had been born, was that Lily was deep in depression. Postpartum depression, is what the muggles call it, and Lily, for the first time ever, had chosen to use muggle medicine to help. James, also for the first time ever, was surprisingly supportive. It seemed that everything about the wizarding world was freaking them both out at the moment. After all, it was people who were part of the wizarding world who had tried to steal their baby. There were days when Lily didn’t even want to see Harry, and Sirius couldn’t decided whether that fact upset Harry, James or Lily herself most. James stepped up, and so did Euphemia and Fleamont, and Sirius noticed that none of them were angry at Lily. Euphemia told Sirius that the same thing had happened to her, and that wizarding medicine didn’t help her much, and she thought that the decision to use muggle medicine was quite a wise one. Remus spent a lot of time with Lily, now that she was ‘sick’ (‘sick’ was how Remus said that they should refer to it, because it is a sickness, and it will get better), because he knew how to take care of people who were in that state, seeing as he had cared for Sirius for so many years. Sometimes Remus would spend the night with Lily, and James would bring Harry over to Sirius’ so that the baby could be surrounded by more love, as James himself was worried about his wife, too. James knew that it hurt Lily to see James sometimes too, because Harry was the spitting image of James Potter. 

One night, Remus came home, tears in his eyes. “Sirius?” He croaked.  
Sirius looked up, confused. “Moony?”  
Remus stood awkwardly at the door. “Could you, um, come with me?”  
Sirius was ultimately extremely confused, because Remus never left Lily alone, which meant that Sirius would be seeing Lily. He didn’t know how he could possibly help, but instead of asking any of the questions that were burning in his head, he just nodded, and uncrossed his legs to stand up, kissing Harry on the forehead so that the little boy would giggle.  
He joined Remus, who was still having trouble articulating what was going on, but before they reached the door, Remus turned around to James. Sirius looked too, only to see his brother looking lonely, but smiling for his son. “James?” Remus asked.“Yeah?” James tried to sound cheery, but int was clear. He missed his wife.  
“Marlene and Dorcas are coming over here. They miss you. Is that okay?”  
Sirius seriously expected James to say no, but instead he smiled. “Yeah,” James said. “That would be nice.”  
Remus nodded and tried to smile, but his face was set in stone. He gestured for Sirius to follow him out of the door, and obediently, Sirius followed.  
All too soon the two men were standing in Lily and James’ living room, paces from the bedroom that Lily had been locking herself in for the past month. Sirius kept shifting his weight from foot to foot. It was blatantly clear that he was incredibly uncomfortable, but Remus didn’t acknowledge this in the slightest.  
After a silence that lasted far too long, Sirius spoke up. “Why am I here, Remus?”  
Remus seemed to snap out of a daze, and made eye contact with Sirius. “Lily, well…” Remus trailed off, before shaking his head and starting again. “She’s dealing with what you dealt with. With memories that are stopping her from being happy, and that’s just on top of the depression. She’s watched so many people die, and I know that we all have, but she just had a baby. She’s breaking.”  
Sirius’ heart almost broke. This was the strongest person he knew, and if she was breaking, he guessed all of them could. “What do you want me to do?”  
Remus just pointed at the door. “Talk to her.”  
Sirius gaped. “About what?!”  
“Anything, Pads. Just about life. About how you understand what she’s going through. You lost a member of your family, like she almost did. Just tell her that she isn’t alone.”  
Sirius would like to note that he had absolutely no desire to do that, but it was Lily. Lily had saved him, had said Remus, time and time again. So he’d do it. Of course he would.  
“Okay.” Sirius didn’t wait for a response, he just knocked on the bedroom door and heard a sniffle that sounded like “Come in”, so he opened the door, threw a last glance at Remus and shut it behind him.

Sirius saw Lily, curled up on the left side of the bed, looking more vulnerable than he had ever seen her. She was always unbreakable in his eyes, but here, looking at her now, she was glass. She could shatter at any moment. He looked down, staring at his feet. He felt awkward, like he didn’t know where to sit, or what to say. But when he looked back up, and saw Lily, her eyes as red as her hair, he thought to himself, I need to suck it up. So, instead of standing awkwardly, he sat down on the right side of the bed, and sat up against the headboard. She seemed to relax at this, so Sirius assumed he was doing something right.  
“Hey, Lils,” Sirius said quietly, a hint of a smile on her face.  
“Hi, Sirius,” she replied, a quiet smile on hers, too.  
“Do you want to rant? Or do you want me to talk for a bit? Or sit in silence for a while?”  
She sniffled and sat up against the headboard, before she looked at him and said “Can we talk? I’ll probably rant a lot, but, you know.”  
Sirius nodded. “Rant away. What’s going on, Evans?”  
Lily sighed. “I can’t stop thinking about it.”  
Sirius waited for her to explain, but it was clearly his turn to ask. “About what?”  
“About Benjy, about Jackson, about Max. About all of those death eaters who were killed, that we didn’t even know the names of.”  
Sirius sighed. “Benjy’s death was horrible, and it never should have happened. Jackson and Max though, they were spies. And the death eaters deserved it.”  
She shook her head. “No, no, no. No they didn’t. No one deserves to die. They deserve a chance to change, and they’ll never have one, because they’re buried who knows where. Actually, they’re probably not even buried, they’ve probably just been dumped in some field somewhere, or in the ocean, somewhere that their families will never find them.”  
Sirius sighed again. “They chose to fight, Lil. They knew that this could happen, that’s what they sign up for as soon as they walk into any battle. That’s what the signed up for when they joined him.”  
Lily frowned at Sirius, realising that he had a point. “Fine, maybe they did. I still can’t get the image of someone’s son, or daughter, pulled into the cause by accident, getting hit by a killing curse and dropping to the floor, not even having a chance to take their last breath.”  
“Lil, we don’t use the killing curse. We don’t kill.” Sirius pointed out.  
She looked at him. “No, we don’t. But they do. They miss us and kill their own. Their spells rebound, and they end up dead. Do you know the reason that I started thinking about all of this?”  
It was a rhetorical question, but Sirius shook his head anyway.  
“It’s because I was reading a book on magical creatures this morning that Remus brought over. We’ve always read those because it’s hilarious the things that wizards actually think are true about werewolves. I was reading it, and I saw a page on thestrals. Most of the pages have pictures of the animals, but on this page there was a drawing. But there was a picture beside the drawing, and I’ve always just seen an empty frame. A forest, sure, but it’s only ever been trees. But I looked at it today, I looked at the picture, and I saw the animal that I’d only ever seen drawings of. I saw a thestral, grazing in the grass, taking comfort in the fact that it would never really be seen. I promised myself in third year that I would always be kind to thestrals, but I would never, ever see one. But I did. And I think that any of us, I think that all of us, can see them too.” Lily let out a breath and dropped her head back, closing her eyes.  
Sirius was silent for a moment. He’d thought about this, during one of their first battles, where he had saved a little boy. He saw a killing curse flying towards a muggle, and he shut his eyes tight so that he didn’t have to watch them die. He wondered, then, why it mattered so much to him, and he realised, later that night, that it was because he didn’t want to see them. He didn’t want to see a thestral, because that would mean he was broken. “Can I see it?” Sirius whispered to Lily. Without opening her eyes, she passed the book to him from its spot on her bedside table. He flicked through it, and he let himself smile. He had flicked through this with Remus in third year, and they had decided that they would write a book on werewolves, and include a bunch of myths, like ‘werewolves can talk to birds’ and ‘werewolves are packing, if you know what I mean’. He let himself turn the pages, somehow hoping that maybe he wouldn’t see what Lily saw. He knew that he would, because he had watched countless bodies fall to the ground, some of them right in front of his eyes. He turned a page and saw the drawing of a thestral and shut his eyes tight. Maybe he wasn’t ready, he thought, but then he realised that he had never been ready. He’d never been ready for any of the horrible things that had happened, so this really wasn’t any different. He opened his eyes, and looked at the frame that he had seen empty so many times before, and sure enough there was a horse-like creature, a creature that would have scared him as a child. Well, maybe not him, because he’d seen much worse before the age of five, but it would have scared lots of children, there was no doubt about that.  
When Sirius looked at the creature, he didn’t see a ‘creature of death’ like the book described. He saw a creature so often overlooked, invisible to the innocent. A creature punished and ignored just because of its heritage. They were all a bit like thestrals at the moment.  
“So,” Lily asked, her eyes still closed, “Can you see it?” Sirius nodded, even though he knew that Lily couldn’t see him. “Yeah,” she said quietly. “I thought so.”  
Sirius put the book down on the floor next to him, deciding that even though he really wished that he never had to see them, he quiet liked thestrals. Sirius grabbed Lily’s hand and softly pulled her down to rest her head on the pillow. She complied willingly, and Sirius lay down too, facing her.“What do I do, Sirius?” She asked, sighing. “I don’t know what to do.”  
Sirius grabbed her hands and held them in his own. “Lily, I’m not going to pretend that I get it, but I get it more than the rest of them do. Remus’ told you what’s happening with me, yeah?” She nodded and he continued. “I’m not going to tell you to man up and do what you should, but I’ll tell you one thing, which is that your husband loves you more than you’ll ever know, and he misses you so, so much. And your baby? Your baby is amazing. He’s smiling now, you know, and he’s laughing too. He’s stopped crying all the time, but he looks for you a lot, and he’s sad when you’re not there. I’m not going to tell you what to do, because I know you’re hurting, and it’s impossible to look after anyone else when you can’t look after yourself. I’ll say one thing though, and that’s that maybe you don’t have to look after them. You can let them look after you. Maybe Harry could come at sit on your bed, just for a bit, and you could see him smile. You could see him laugh with James, and you could see the way that that kid looks at you, like you’re his whole world. You could see James, really see him, for the first time. James as a father is the James that he was born to be, James as a father is a man who wold do anything to protect you and his baby. Those two have so much love for each other, sure, but they have SO much love for you. They miss you Lily. They miss you so much. You don’t have to do anything, and you don’t need to feel guilty, because this isn’t your fault, but you can let them help you, too.”  
Lily looked confused. “Am I too hard on Remus?”  
Sirius chuckled. “God no! He gets to spend 24/7 with his best friend in the world, and he gets to look after you, and he’s really, really good at that. We would know.”  
She nodded. “Do you think James hates me? For being gone?”  
Sirius shook his head and smiled. “That man has been pining after you since first year. There’s nothing you could do to make him hate you. He loves you. So, so much.”  
Lily looked up at Sirius, and made eye contact, real eye contact. “Do you think he loves me like you love Remus?”  
Sirius grabbed her hands and sat up. “Lils, I love Remus with everything that I have. James loves you with everything that he has, too. He always will.”  
“What are they doing? Everyone?”  
“They’re at my place, next door. Marlene and Dorcas are there, and so are Alice and Frank and Neville. Caradoc and his weird threesome situation are over there too. I think the babies are ‘swimming’,” Sirius explained.  
Lily frowned and they sat in silence for a moment, before she sat up. “Do you…” she trailed off, but Sirius smiled at her, asking her to continue. “Do you think they would see me? Now?”  
Sirius beamed. “Yeah. I think they would.”

————————————————————

Sirius wandered back into his flat, and saw everyone mulling around, Peter looking sulky in the corner. “Where’s the Prongslet?” Sirius whispered to Marlene.  
She nodded towards the cupboard on the left. “Swimming with Neville, I think. James has been splashed so many times that we shut the door to muffle the yells.”  
Sirius thanked her, and opened the door to a soaking James and Frank and two laughing babies. “OI!” Sirius called, causing James to look up.  
“This better be important!” James yelled back, turning his head from side to side to avoid the splashes.  
“Lily wants to see you!”  
The entire pool went quiet. It seemed that Harry and Neville understood the importance of this statement as much as the fathers did.  
“Really?” James said quietly.  
“Yeah,” Sirius smiled. James immediately jumped up and passed a soaking wet Harry to Sirius, quickly casting a drying charm on himself and his son.  
“Like, now?”  
Sirius nodded. “Let’s go.” Sirius passed Harry back to James, nodded at Frank and a splashing Neville, and headed back to the Potters’.

————————————————————

Sirius had only ever seen James so nervous on his wedding day. He was holding his baby who was smiling gleefully.  
Sirius gestured for them to walk towards the door, before stopping James. “Just sit with her on the bed for a bit and play with Harry. She might not be able to do anything more than watch, but it’s a start.”  
James beamed. “I just want to see her.”  
Sirius knocked on the door and heard a weak “Come in,” from inside. He pushed open the door. “Two someones are here to see you.” Lily nodded, and Sirius gestured for James and Harry to go in.  
Lily mouthed ‘Stay for a minute?’ To Sirius, who nodded and sat on the bed, closing the door behind James and Harry.  
“Hey baby,” James said softly, careful about reaching out for Lily’s hand, doing his best to remain reserved.  
“Hi,” Lily smiled. It was the first genuine smile Sirius had seen on her face in a month.  
Harry was thrashing around, trying to get to his mum. It was heartbreaking to watch, really, a baby so desperate for his mother, and a mother so desperate for her child yet unable to do anything about it. But Harry was a smart baby, and after a few minutes he stopped moving and reached his tiny hand out to his mother. Sirius saw Lily blush, and she reached out to let the baby wrap his hand around her fingers. Harry giggled, and Sirius saw that James was trying desperately not to cry.  
“James?” Lily whispered.  
“Yeah, babe?” James whispered back.  
“Will you lie next to me?”James nodded and lay down next to Lily, careful not to overwhelm her, and laid Harry down on his chest. Harry kept looking at his mum, and when she smiled he giggled back at her.  
Sirius decided he could leave now, because this was a family moment, and they deserved to be alone. As he got up to leave, he grabbed Remus’ sweater from the floor to throw on and out of the corner of his eye he saw Lily sit up a little, and grab her husband’s hand in one of hers, and her baby’s hand in the other. Sirius heard Harry giggle.  
“Hi Harry,” Lily whispered, smiling. “I missed you.”  
Sirius looked over and saw Harry frown, and Lily freeze up. A second later, Harry smiled, and looked straight at Lily. “Mumma?” The small boy whispered at Lily.  
Sirius was filled with a warmth that he had never felt before. Even though Harry hadn’t seen his mum for a while, he first word was her. Lily started smiling, tears running down her face. She grabbed Harry out of James’ arms and held him tight to her chest. He started playing with her hair and giggling at James, who was making funny faces.  
“I love you, I love you, I love you,” Lily whispered into Harry’s head.  
“He loves you too,” James said to her, tears in his eyes too. “So do I.”  
“I love you, James Potter.” She sighed, her child in one hand and her husband’s arm in the other.  
“I love you too, Lily Evans Potter.”  
James moved closer to her and she settled into the crook of his neck, Harry having fallen asleep on her chest. She closed her eyes, too.  
Sirius wanted to leave, but didn’t want to wake them by crossing the room and opening the squeaking door. He decided he would apparate next door, but he looked up before he left. He saw James moth ‘Thank you’. Sirius just nodded and smiled, before he apparated with a crack and ended up next door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW THAT BABIES DONT TALK UNTIL 9 MONTHS BUT I WANTED HARRY TO TALK AND ITS MY STORY SO SHHHH
> 
> I've been writing more now that I'm out of hospital, it's just more irregular!  
> Also, here's the tea: MY GIRLFRIEND CHEATED  
> I forgave her because the situation was excusable, but still, ouch, right?
> 
> Gabby xx


	26. We All Love Harry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ready for a safe house, and a plan for protecting Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There might be lots of spelling mistakes, because I don't have my glasses, but I thought getting a chapter up was more important!  
> I've got a couple pre-written, and I'll post more. I'm sorry for my absence. I'm back now. I'll explain at the end notes.

Remus was talking to Dorcas, drinking tea with her and Marlene while Frank and Alice were with Neville in the pool, and Caradoc and his weird partnerS (PLURAL) were playing cards in the bar. They all heard a crack and Remus found himself whipping out his wand and pointing it in the direction of the crack. It seemed everyone else had done so too, because Sirius was now standing there, his hands held up in surrender, saying “Woah! Guys! It’s just me!”  
They all sighed and lowered their wands. Sirius walked over and sat down next to Remus, resting his head on ihis shoulder.  
“When do you think we’ll stop doing that?” Sirius wondered aloud.“I don’t know,” Remus frowned. “I wish I did, but I really don’t.”  
“The family’s back together,” Sirius said into Remus’ shoulder.  
Remus whipped around. “How’d you manage that?!” Seriously, Remus had been trying to fix this situation for over a month, and Sirius talks to them for less than two hours and they’re one big happy family?!  
Sirius just shrugged his shoulders. “Dunno. Guess I’ve had to do a lot of grovelling in my own life. Got some practice,” he smiled at Remus.  
Remus grabbed Sirius’ hand. They both might fuck up sometimes, sure. They’re still lucky. They’ll always forgive each other. That’s what love is.

—————————————————————

THREE MONTHS LATER

Remus was on his couch in the Order warehouse. Well, not his couch, but they all had their usual seats at this point, and he and Sirius found this couch was theirs, just like the one on their right was Lily and James and the one on their left was Marlene and Dorcas’. Peter had started coming to every Order meeting again, and there was no doubt amongst the Order that he was loyal to the cause. Well, there was no doubt amongst anyone except the Prewetts, and, unfortunately, Remus himself. He knew something was up. That boy had been his best friend for almost nine years, he knew him better than anyone, and he knew that something was very wrong. He had tried to talk to Sirius about it, but Sirius was convinced that Peter was just being Peter: a little slow sometimes, but nothing worse than that, and once Sirius was convinced of something, it took hard evidence to change his mind: hard evidence that Remus did not have. The truth always came out, Remus supposed, so he sighed and rested his head on Sirius’ shoulder.

“Hello!” Dumbledore said cheerily at the very tired mostly-teenagers on the couches in front of him. “Ughmmm,” they all murmured back. They had been at a raid until very late the night before, and they’d been called in at five this morning.  
“Ah yes, the cruel thing that is time,” Dumbledore sighed. Remus would never understand this man. “But, alas, we do have work to do!”  
Dumbledore looked around, waiting for someone to ask what the work was, but they were all half asleep and no one was particularly interested in speaking up. It seemed, however, that Dumbledore wasn’t going to continue until someone interjected, so Remus sighed and wearily said “What work?”  
Dumbledore clapped his hands. “Well! Now that you ask, it is almost six months since Harry’s birth!”  
Before Dumbledore could continue, Marlene interrupted him. “Why do you sound so happy about that?”  
Dumbledore smiled. “Miss McKinnon-“ Marlene glared at him. “Sorry, Ms Meadowes-McKinnon,” she smiled in response, “if we do not smile, they we cry. I opted for smiling today. I just found it to be easier.” Surprisingly, Marlene nodded, and sank into the couch again.  
Everyone was silent for a moment, until Lily stood up. “Right. As great as this all is, can you please explain this as quickly and as simply as possible, because its my baby, and I don’t like this far more than you don’t, trust me.” James nodded in agreement, and grabbed her hand.  
“Yes, Lily, I think that’s quite fair. I can wrap this up in a sentence or two. Harry is only in real danger for the week of his ‘six-month birthday’ as it were, and the real danger begins when he turns one. If the death eaters can’t collect him during that week, they will try day in and day out from his first birthday.” Dumbledore said plainly, perched oddly on a desk.  
“Why don’t we just start the fidelius now?” James asked.  
“Because that means that when the time comes that Harry’s in much more danger, you can’t cast another one,” Sirius said from next to Remus, shocking him out of his daze.  
“Yes, exactly.” Dumbledore finished.  
“So when do we start the charm?” James asked.  
“I think it would be wisest to start it when Harry is fifteen months old, when the possibility of magic is greatest. Until then, you will be heavily guarded and supported. During the week of Harry turning six-months old we will all be going to stay in a house, deep into the country, where it will be harder for the death eaters to find us, and also easier for use to set traps, and fight them off.” Lily looked distraught. This was her son, who would be in a house of mad people and fighting for a week at only six-months old. “Lily, I know that this is hard. I can’t pretend to know how you’re feeling. Harry will be safe where we are going. He will be guards by only the strongest form of magic that Alastor, Miverna and I, myself, have ever known. As long as we stick to the plan, nothing will happen to that child. I assure you.” Lily nodded at Dumbledore, seeming to appreciate all that he was saying.  
“I will reveal the location of the house right before we apparate, to avoid any slip-ups, including sharing the house’s location-“ Remus swore Dumbledore’s eyes flickered over to Peter, who was hiding his face anyway, “-and I would like to offer a few things to James and Lily, if that’s alright?”  
James and Lily nodded. “What are they?” The two said in unison.  
“Well, there will be us there, at all times. The house is large and has enough bedrooms for each of us and more.”  
“When you say us, who do you mean? Like, who will be there at all times?” Lily asked.  
“Good question Miss Evans. Sorry, Ms Evans-Potter,” Dumbledore smiled, correcting himself. “Harry, his parents, Sirius, Remus, Marlene, Dorcas, Alice, Frank, Peter, Caradoc, Fabian, Gideon, Alastor, Miverna and myself,” Dumbledore listed. “If you would like anyone else there at all times, I’m sure that can be arranged. There will be Order members stationed on shifts every night and day, so there will be more people in the house, they will just rotate twice daily. Is that okay?” Dumbledore asked Lily and James, who both nodded, and gestured for him to continue. “The Aurors have offered to help, but it is blatantly obvious that they do not want to, sorry, Alastor, I know they’re trying their best-“ Dumbledore spoke to Moody, how as frowning in the corner, “-and the pack have offered to help, too. But it is completely up to you who you would like to be there, James and Lily.”  
Dumbledore somehow managed to be so unbelievably respectful, even during horribly difficult conversations. James and Lily were whispering with each other, before they turned back around and stood to face everyone. “We would like the pack there,” Lily began.  
“But not Sebastian.” James finished.  
Ah, Sebastian. That had been a sore topic for them all since the day of Harry’s birth. The man had admitted to being a spy, and had pledged to reform and become loyal to the pack again. He had been accepted back into the pack, but he’d been far from welcomed home, barely being spoken to for months and being left out of all meetings and never told important decisions, because everyone trusted him as much as they would have trusted a death eater who just wandered into the pack, asking for information. Funnily enough, at least half of the reason that the pack was so angry was because of Sebastian’s betrayal of Remus. They were so upset on his behalf that they turned away someone who lived with them, because he betrayed their pack, and because he betrayed Remus. From Remus’ recent visits to the pack, it was clear that Sebastian was slowly starting to be accepted back into everyday life. He and Remus had barely spoken recently, for good reason, and every time Sebastian tried to start a conversation one of the other teenagers would come up and pretend they urgently needed Remus for something. He was very grateful for this.  
“Caradoc?” Lily asked.  
“Mhm?” The boy snapped out of his daze.  
“Do you think the pack would be ok with that? Can you ask Will? If they could come but Sebastian not?”  
Caradoc nodded. “Should be fine. Want me to ask him now?”  
James and Lily shrugged. “How fast can you be back?”  
“Five minutes,” Caradoc smirked. “Time me.” With that, he apparated away.

“Can I ask some things?” Lily addressed the room, grabbing James’ hand.  
They all nodded, adding variations of ‘sure’ and ‘of course’ and ‘go for it’.  
“Is Harry going to be alone during the fights? In the protected room?”  
It occurred to Remus that none of them had thought about that. Lily was the best witch they had in The Order and James was a masterful dueller, so they couldn’t afford to lose them. Remus sighed. “I can stay with him, if you want,” he offered.  
James and Lily smiled at him. “Thanks Moony,” James began, “But we need you out there.”  
“I’ll stay,” Dorcas offered. She was the best with babies, apart from the mothers.  
Lily smiled at her, too. “We need you too, dummy.”  
They were silent for a moment, when James whispered in Lily’s ear, and her face lit up. “Would Stephanie stay with him?” She asked the room, looking at Dumbledore. The man smiled, and was about to respond when Lily interrupted. “I know she’s at Hogwarts, and even though she’s of age she is still at school, she just loves him so much and always calms him down and makes sure he isn’t scared and…” Lily trailed off, sobbing. The hormones were still very much existent.  
Dumbledore cleared his throat. “What I was going to say,” he smiled at her, “is that she’s in Hogwarts and I should say no, but her guardian has said yes in the past and I am sure she will agree to this request as well. I have no problem with her coming, if that’s what you really want.” Lily sniffled and nodded at him. “Very well. Lily, James, Alice, Frank, you’re on fixing the protego bracelets. We’ll definitely need them to summon backup and they’re not working, as you all know. Gideon, Fabian, and Caradoc, when he returns, you’ll be working out shifts, you know who works well together better than any of us, so work out some groups, if you please. Remus, Sirius, Marlene, Dorcas, you’re on house plans. The parchment is on the table in the corner. Familiarise yourselves with the layout, work out which rooms we will be in and start planning defensive spells for Harry’s room, which you will also choose. The address is also on the parchment, so-“  
“I can help with that! I’m good at this stuff!” Peter interrupted with another one of his random enthusiastic outbursts that caused Remus to exchange suspicious glances with the Prewetts. He volunteered to help JUST as Dumbledore mentioned the address being available. Did no one see what was happening?!  
Dumbledore smiled, but Remus noticed that one of his fists was clenched. “Thank you, Peter, but I was hoping you could help me with something.”  
Peter tried to smile but looked disappointed. “Oh, yeah. Of course.”  
“Very well!” Dumbledore beamed at the rest of the room, including Caradoc who had reappeared with a pop and the assurance that the pack would come without Sebastian, and that Lily should ask Steph herself, because it would make her day. “Now that we’re all here, let’s get to it! Pip pip!”  
As Remus followed the girls and Sirius over to the desk in the corner, all he could think to himself is that Dumbledore was a very, very odd man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovely readers, I'm so sorry I've been gone. I've been in hospital, I've been diagnosed with anorexia and I've been cheated on seven times and I'm still with her.  
> It's been rough, and I haven't been writing enough. I'm really sorry. I'm not leaving though, I'll still be getting chapters up at least once a week.  
> I'm sorry I'm disappointing you.  
> Love you all.  
> Gabby x


	27. Six Months Old, How Unfortunate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stephanie admits how she lost her baby.  
> Peter's even more sus.  
> The battle's approaching.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I hope you enjoy this chapter, it's short and sweet. I liked writing it.

They had taken a portkey that Mad-eye had arranged to a location close to the house. Lily was holding Harry on her hip, James carrying their bags. Marlene and Dorcas were traipsing next to them, and Sirius and Remus had somehow ended up carrying all of the heavy shit under the reasoning that ‘they were the men!’ and it seemed that the more that Sirius pointed out that Marlene alone was stronger than both of them combined, the heavier the load that he was carrying became. He saw that Marlene flicked her wand at both of them every time they suggested she would be better suited to carry the load, and noticed that it got heavier every time, but he felt it was best to ignore it, lest risk an anvil appearing in one of the bags. Frank and Alice were talking quietly, but Sirius could hear them. They felt sorry for James and Lily. They had a baby, just like James and Lily did, and if this was their baby they would have lost their shit by now. Now that Sirius thought about it, it was a miracle that James and Lily’s shit hadn’t been lost.

Eventually, they arrived at a large victorian country house with at least four levels and a grand wooden porch. Sirius suspected that there wouldn’t be much left of the porch after the week was up. He exchanged a glance with Remus, and it was clear that he thought the same thing.

They all spent a while unpacking in the rooms that they had been assigned by Sirius, Remus, Marlene and Dorcas. Lily, James, Alice and Frank had set up a workshop of sorts in one of the bedrooms to complete the protego bracelets, while the twins and Caradoc wrote out and informed the others of the shifts. The entire Order was to meet at the house at seven that night to learn their shifts as well, so Peter was tasked with writing out twenty copies of the shift plan, to his dismay. Sirius suspected it was Dumbledore’s sly punishment for being a downright prick recently, but Peter was still Wormtail, their best friend, and he was just bad at this, and that was okay. Remus didn’t think that it was, and neither did the twins and Caradoc, but the rest of them agreed that he was just how he had always been; a little bit slow.  
An hour or two later, it was already three o’clock, which meant that some of the pack would be arriving. It would be Renee, William, Elijah, Brayden, Suzanna, Ben, and Luke, rather than the younger pack members coming too, except for Stephanie, who would be staying the whole time so that Harry would become familiar with her, and trust her to look after him during the time when his mum and dad simply couldn’t come to him. Sirius quite liked Stephanie. She was kind, and gentle, yet tenacious and strong in a quiet way. He quite liked the pack as a whole, now the though about it. They had forgiven him without a second thought for his outburst at St Mungo’s after realising that he was simply protective, which, considering Sebastian was a spy, was clearly for good reason. Sebastian’s absence was noticeable. He was at the camp, caring for the young ones.  
The pack arrived, oddly cheery, which brought up the spirits of the rest of them, except Peter, because he was only eight copies in, and Moody, who was in Auror mode: suspicious of anyone and anything, even people who he usually trusted the most. Even Dumbledore received subtle side eye from the one-eyed man. Constant vigilance, Sirius reminded himself. Constant vigilance.  
They all found something to do for the rest of the afternoon, rotating tasks occasionally. All of them took turns throwing up protective spells over the house, and over Harry’s room. All of their magic was different, so the more spells cast by the widest variety of people kept the house the most secure. Shockingly, Stephanie was the best at defensive spells out of all of them, except Dumbledore. Her talent could even rival his.  
Sirius was incredibly curious as to how she was so good at these spells, because she would’ve only learnt basic spells at Hogwarts as of yet. “Steph?” Sirius asked her, while she made one of the beds up without magic, which Sirius made the mistake of questioning before (“You wizards! Honesty! They just look BETTER like this! And they’re warmer, and they sheets don’t come untucked. If you’re going to complain, make your own bed!”).  
“Yeah?” She responded, tucking in a corner.  
“How are you so good at protection spells?” He asked her, grabbing onto the corner of a sheet that she had passed to him to hold.  
“Ah,” she sighed. “One moment.” She gestured for him to pass the corner back, and within thirty seconds, the best was made immaculately. She sat down on the bed, smoothing the sheets down around her and crossed her legs, patting a space on the bed opposite her for Sirius to sit down.  
He crossed his legs and settled on the sheets, too. “You don’t have to tell me,” he clarified. “I was just wondering.”  
She smiled and shook her head. “Of course I’ll tell you, you twat.” Sirius seriously regretted teaching her that word, because half of her vocabulary currently considered of the swear. “Well, I was pregnant, when I was fifteen.” Sirius nodded. He knew this, but only that much. He had nan idea of how it happened, who the father was, or how she lost the baby. "I haven't told you the truth about what happened with the baby." She smiled knowingly at him.  
“What?” He asked.  
She chuckled. “Ask what you want to ask, Sirius. No need holding back at this point.”  
She had a point, Sirius realised. Fuck it. “Who was the father? You were only fifteen. Had you been bitten yet?”  
She shook her head. “Yes, I had. I was bitten shortly before I got pregnant.” She rubbed her templed, composing herself, before exhaling and continuing. “The father was a man I knew from my village. I grew up in Ireland-“ Renee grew up there, too, which Sirius could tell from their accents, “-and he was much older than me. I didn’t know him. He took what he wanted, I guess. He was, uh,” she furrowed her brows, as if trying to remember something that she had tried to forget, “Must have been was twenty, I think. Maybe twenty one.”  
Sirius inhaled deeply. Shit. That wasn’t good. He didn’t need the whole story to know that that was definitely not good. “Shit,” he muttered.  
“Yeah,” she smiled sadly. “It’s okay though. I haven’t seen him since.” Sirius nodded, and she continued. “I got pregnant, and my mum kicked me out for a bit. She said I could come home in a week or two, but she needed time without me. There was a lot of yelling, and a lot of screaming, about how SHE would end up raising ANOTHER magical baby. My mum’s a muggle and my dad was magic, but he didn’t tell her until she was pregnant with me. Which was, um…” she trailed off.  
“Awkward?” Sirius suggested.  
“Yes. Awkward, to say the least. I didn’t really have anywhere to go, and underage magic wasn’t particularly bothering me, because the ministry would understand a homeless pregnant fifteen year old needing magic, which they did,” she added, “and I used to camp when I was young, so I took a whole bunch of food and blankets and my dad’s tent, which was-“  
“Massive on the inside,” Sirius smiled.  
She nodded. “Yeah. I went near this forest, and it was really pretty. I just read and wrote for a few days, and I had enough food for two or so weeks, so I thought I’d stay until then, and give my mother time to cool off. I had managed to hold off telling my mother for two months before she I told her and she kicked me out. She just thought was putting on weight, but I was starting to show. I was somewhat comforted, I guess, that there was someone with me out there. I didn’t feel alone, you know?” Sirius nodded. He did know. He knew all too well. “I went into the forest, because when I was younger and camping I always foraged mushrooms from the ground. All was well, I got some mushrooms, and went back to the tent. I cooked them, and everything was okay.” She took a moment. It wasn’t an easy story to tell, and she shouldn’t have to, Sirius realised.  
“You don’t have to tell me, Steph,” he reassured her.  
She shook her head. “I know I don’t have to, but it’s helping me, in a way.” He nodded, and gestured for her to continue. “The two weeks came to an end, and I had packed up everything except the tent. I learnt to apparate while I was away, which was so dumb, but someone’s on my side up there, I guess, and I didn’t splinch myself, so I guess I had some luck. Just not enough. I thought that I’d bring my mum some mushrooms, like a gesture of peace, because she always loved them in a stew or for breakfast. So I ventured back into the forest to get some. It was taking a while to get there this time, because I was tired and kind of weak, so I decided I would leave in the morning instead. It was dark by the time I got there, and I had taken my grandfather’s wand away with me, so I lit it and continued to get them. I wasn’t scared, strangely. Probably because there was nothing worse that could happen to me than my mother telling me she hates me. You have no idea how horrible it is,” Stephanie sighed.  
I do, Sirius thought, I really, really do, but he decided to stay quiet. This was her story, not his.  
“I looked up and saw the stars twinkling and a beautiful full moon. I was a bit of a twat myself to not realise that I was deep in a forest KNOWN to be inhabited by werewolves on the full moon.” She looked into the distance and stayed quiet for a while. Sirius had to interject.  
“It’s not your fault, you know. People make mistakes. You had a lot going on.”  
She nodded appreciatively. “Thanks. I heard rustling in the bush while I was looking up and I connected the dots. I knew exactly what was going on, and I knew I couldn’t run. I knew enough to know that if you run, you aggravate the wolf even more, so I stood completely still, and unlit my wand. There was nothing that I could do but wait until the sun came up, or the wolf buggered off, so I closed my eyes and focused on my baby. I wasn’t alone, I reminded myself, I wasn’t alone. Slowly, the rustling noise came closer and closer to me, and I heard a sniffing noise. I felt hot breath on my skin, but the wolf wasn’t growling, it was just sniffing me, as if it was interested in my scent. I heard its steps backing away from me, and I let myself breathe. My eyes were closed and I thought that it was gone, but really, it had just stopped in its tracks. I accidentally shifted my weight from foot to foot, and the leaves rustled below me. I had to open my eyes. The growling was getting closer, and the wolf was staring me down. I ran away then, and I dropped the mushrooms as I ran, which just led the wolf to me. I was too worried about my baby to jump and bang my stomach on anything, so I slowed down. I’d rather be bitten than risk losing my baby. So I slowed down, and then he bit me.” She paused, and took a deep breath. It was Greyback. It’s always fucking Greyback,” she sighed.  
Sirius’ jaw was almost on the floor. There was nothing that he could say to make this better, but he had to say something. “I’m so sorry Steph,” Sirius sighed, grabbing her hand. “You didn’t deserve it. You don’t.”  
She smiled at him, and said softly “I lost may baby after about four full moons. I must have hit something on my stomach as a wolf. The way I got so good at protection spells is because I knew that Greyback wanted to kill my baby. Bite me in the stomach, or something, I guess. That man, that monster, wants to destroy everything good and pure. So. I learnt protection spells so strong that even he couldn’t break through them; that’s how. After I lost them, or her, as I found out when I… miscarried,” she looked down, sadly, “She would’ve been pure, you know? Renee found me, because Suzanna heard someone had been bitten, a young pregnant girl, and sent Renee back to Ireland to find me. She brought me back. I was really weak, and I couldn’t apparate, so we trekked back to Scotland, until I was well enough to apparate. I’ve been casting the protection spells on the camp since I arrived two years ago.”  
Sirius nodded. “That makes sense.”“Yeah,” she sighed. “Unfortunately, it does.” She was quiet for a minute, before she looked Sirius in the eyes. “My mother never went looking for me,” she whispered. “Can I have a hug?”  
Sirius smiled at her. “Yeah. ‘Course.” He brought her in, and held her while she cried. “Harry loves you. You’ll be a really good mother one day,” Sirius said softly.  
She pulled back and sniffled. “You really think so?”  
Sirius beamed at her. “Definitely.”

—————————————————————

Stephanie was nursing baby Harry, who was giggling and pulling her hair. Peter was almost done with writing out the schedule, and the protego bracelets were being tested, and seemed to be working perfectly. All of the beds were made, dinner was prepared by Dorcas, Remus, McGonagall and Frank, the best cooks out of all of them, and Order members were arriving. It was 6:50pm, and almost everyone was there, except Hestia and Emmeline, who were notoriously late.  
“DONE!” Sirius heard a shout from the corner. Peter was holding up pieces of parchment and looked relieved. He’d clearly finished the schedules.“Marvellous, Peter,” Dumbledore smiled. “Sirius, could you help Peter pass them around?”  
Sirius nodded. “Sure, Professor.” Sirius went over to Peter and grabbed half of the invitations.  
“Bloody hell!” Peter whispered. “What a bullshit job! This whole thing is bullshit. Harry’ll be fine without this. Not worth it, if you ask me,” Peter said quietly.  
Sirius was filled with anger. How could he say it wasn’t worth it to protect Harry?! “IT IS WORTH IT!” Sirius yelled. The whole room went silent and everyone turned to stare at him. Whoops, he thought.  
“Sorry,” Sirius said apologetically.  
“Ah, well,” Dumbledore sighed with a smile. “We’re all a bit stressed. But I, for one, agree with Sirius, even though I am agreeing much more quietly,” Dumbledore’s eyes twinkled, “I think that all of this is definitely worth it.”  
“Yes!” Marlene and Dorcas called out.  
“Obviously,” Mad-Eye rolled his mechanical eye.  
Soon, everyone was shouting some kind of agreement. Peter rolled his eyes, which made Sirius a little more happy that it should have.  
“Alright!” Dumbledore called out. He didn’t shout, but the whole room listened to him anyway. “Everyone,” Dumbledore waved his wand, and summoned a chair behind everyone in the room, “talk a seat. Let’s begin!”

About an hour later, everyone was holding pieces of parchment, a new protego bracelet and other assorted trinkets that would help with their personal role in the defence plan. Harry had been asleep in his small room, Stephanie by his side, throughout the whole meeting, but Dumbledore had just announced that dinner would soon be served, so Lily and James headed up to get their baby and bring him down, even though he couldn’t eat anything that wasn’t previously pureed or mashed. Most of the Order hadn’t properly met Harry, because most of the time James and Lily refused bring him to the warehouse, instead opting to let Euphemia and Fleamont babysit him, and if anyone had met the baby, he was usually asleep. As soon as James came down the stairs, a confused-looking baby in his arms, everyone ooo-ed and ahh-ed. All things considered, Harry was a really cute baby. It was a fair response. 

Everyone had wanted to meet Harry, so they all came over to him and took turns making silly faces at him, or letting him grab their fingers, or doing anything to make the boy smile. Emmeline and Hestia almost cried when they saw him smile at them. Baby fever, Remus had whispered to Sirius. Obviously.  
Eventually, Harry started crying, because he was a baby, and babies cry (Sirius had to be reminded of this by Remus, because he got extremely defensive every time that Harry shed a tear and prepared to fight whoever it was who made him cry). Lily carried Harry back to his room and Stephanie followed. The young girl refused to leave Harry alone at any time. She was almost more protective over him than Lily and James. 

Harry turned six months old the next day, and although everyone was laughing and chatting while they ate from the buffet prepared by the Potters’ house elf, Hokey, it was clear to Sirius that everyone had battle on their minds. They all knew what was coming. They all knew what the next week would bring. But it was nice, Sirius thought, that they were all doing their damn well best to forget about it. Just for tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update on my personal life even though no one cares:  
> My girlfriend and I have sorted everything out and I think we'll be okay.  
> My friends are being dicks. I spend most of my time writing songs and singing.  
> My friend tried to hook up with me, so I lost her.  
> I haven't eaten in weeks.  
> I went to the funeral of my best friend yesterday. She killed herself.  
> My bipolar is more stable now, so that's a pro.  
> My mum found my nicotine supply, so I don't know what I'll do about that. Sucks living at home!!!
> 
> I hope you guys are doing good, or at least better than me.  
> I love you all.  
> Gabby x


	28. Truthfully

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus opens up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'VE FINISHED THE FIC!!  
> A chapter a day now, or every two days! Sorry for being absent loves.   
> I've started on the next Post-Azkaban/Lie Low at Lupin's fic now. Get excited!!

That night had been full of cheery conversations and the passing around of baby Harry. It seemed as though the night went on forever, and once it reached ten o’clock Dumbledore announced that it was ‘bedtime’ (which made Remus think of Hogwarts and how innocent they once were). No one wanted to go to sleep, because they knew that when they woke up the battle would begin, and none of them were prepared for that. Physically prepared, yes, but no one was mentally prepared for a week of straight of risking their lives. James and Lily were the only ones who were happy to be excused, because this would possibly be their last chance to sleep peacefully (or as peacefully as you can sleep with a six-month old) with their baby before they were battling constantly for the next week. Shifts were starting that night, in case the death eaters were smart enough to hit them before dawn, but Remus seriously doubted they would be that intelligent. Voldemort himself must be pretty dense, too, if he was the one issuing the attack orders. Eventually, the Order members either headed to the arranged portkeys back to London, assumed their posts for the night, or trailed off to bed. 

Sirius and Remus climbed the stairs to their room, which was actually quite nice. It had a four poster bed, with drapes of shimmering gold. They both looked at each other, a look that Remus recognised as ‘do you want to fuck?’, but eventually they just smiled at each other and hopped into bed. They settled for holding each other. They didn’t have the energy, sure, but neither of them really wanted to. This was way too fucked up to celebrate in any way.   
“Moony?” Remus heard Sirius whisper.  
“Yeah, baby?” Remus responded, rolling over to face Sirius.  
“Do you reckon we’ll live through this?”  
Remus sighed and grabbed Sirius’ hand. “I think so, yeah.”  
Sirius looked confused. “How are you sure?”  
Remus smiled. “Because it’s not our time to go yet.” Sirius cocked his head. “We have more to do, on this earth. More people to save. It’s not our time.”  
Sirius gave a weak smile. “I hope you’e right.”  
Remus pecked his boyfriend on the lips. “Oh baby,” he said. “Haven’t you learnt anything?” Sirius looked perplexed. “I’m always right,” Remus finished. He wrapped his boyfriend in his arms and they drifted off to sleep.

\------------------------------------------

“OI!” Remus woke with a start to a voice shouting from the other side of the door.   
Then the person started knocking violently, and Sirius sat up and called out “We’re up! We’re up,” he groaned a second time.  
“ARE YOU DECENT?!” The voice shouted. Remus checked the clock. Six in the morning. The only one who can tolerate that level of noise so early was Marlene. Sounds about right.  
“Yes we’re fucking decent McKinnon, you twat,” Remus sighed, loud enough for her to hear.  
Apparently she took this as permission to burst into the room and start shouting instructions at them. Remus barely took them in. He heard ‘protego bracelets on’, ‘get fucking dressed’, ‘breakfast’, ‘say hi to Harry’, ‘being a prick’ (Remus knew this was directed at Peter), ‘hurry up’, and finally ‘so we don’t get murdered!’. Not the ideal way to wake up.  
“Got it?” She scowled. A stressed Marlene was an angry Marlene.  
“Mhm,” Sirius and Remus mumbled. “Useless,” Marlene growled under her breath, slamming the door behind her.  
Sirius and Remus exchanged a glance and burst out laughing. “That, right there, is why I’m gay,” Sirius chuckled.  
“Here here!” Remus responded.  
“Did you hear any of that?” Sirius asked.  
Remus shrugged his shoulders. “Nope. I think I got the general gist though.”  
Sirius nodded. “Good enough. Let’s go.”

Fifteen minute later, which was apparently too long for Marlene (“You fucking PRICKS! We’ve been ready for hours!” She had said, pointing between herself and Dorcas, who was looking extremely apologetically at them), Sirius and Remus headed downstairs to everyone except Caradoc and William and the Prewetts dressed and ready. The shifts had clearly changed, as a new bunch of Order members had joined the group and the guards from last night were nowhere to be seen. Lily was holding onto Harry like she never wanted to let go, and James was trying to coax him out of her arms, to no avail.  
Remus headed over to them. “Hey, Lils,” he said gently. She looked distressed, and had clearly been crying. “You want to give Harry to James?”  
She shook her head and held him closer to her chest. “My baby,” she whispered.Remus rubbed her back. “Of course, Lils, your baby, always, but James’ baby too, remember?” She looked up at Remus and frowned at him, but she kissed Harry on the forehead and mumbled something into his ear before handing Harry to her husband.   
“I’m gonna take him to Steph, okay?” James said quietly. She looked terrified. “He’ll be safe there, remember?” She nodded, and buried her head in Remus’ chest. James mouthed ‘thank you’, and carried Harry upstairs to his room.  
“Lily, look around the room,” Remus said quietly. She pulled back and looked around at all of the people mulling around the centre of the room, and looked up at Remus, perplexed.  
“All those people are here for Harry, remember,” he said, grabbing her hands. “All of them would die for him. Nothing is going to happen to him, okay?”  
She nodded, and sniffled. “But, when he’s fifteen months old the same thing is going to happen again. WHen does it stop?” That, Remus didn’t have an answer for.  
He settled with pulling her in and whispering “It’s going to be okay. I promise.”  
She nodded and walked over to Dumbledore, who had been waving her over. Fuck, Remus thought. This isn’t how her life should be. It isn’t how anyone’s lives should be.  
What he didn’t see was Lily and James sneaking up the stairs after Stephanie.“Brave soldiers!” Dumbledore exclaimed, oddly. “Gather around!” Everyone gathered around Dumbledore, and the tension was thick in the air.  
Remus didn’t raise his hand to ask his question. He couldn’t be fucked. “When do you think they’ll be here, Professor?”  
Dumbledore frowned to himself, and then smiled down at Remus. I suspect we have around an hour before we really need to be on guard.” Remus nodded. He thought, up until fifth or so year, that graduation would bring loneliness and searching desperately, for jobs. He didn’t think he would be surrounded by his friends, and Aurors, and people who he never thought he would meet, preparing for yet another battle. Preparing for yet another day having killing curses thrown at him from all directions. Preparing for yet another day of having to defend his friends. Preparing for yet another day, another week, trying to stay alive; trying to keep his friends alive; trying to keep Harry alive. Fuck this. If he didn’t love them all so bloody much he’d think this entire thing was fucking ridiculous.   
Remus registered that there was talking in the background, and suddenly Sirius’ hand was waving in his face. “Remus, earth to Remus,” Sirius said, smiling.Remus snapped back to reality. “Sorry. Drifted off for a bit there,” he explained. “All good, love. Are you alright?”  
Remus considered lying. But he lied too much. He never really told anyone the full truth, and somehow he decided, right then, that he would only ever tell Sirius the truth from now on. No more hiding things. There was no use, really. The truth always came out in the end. “No. I’m not.”  
Sirius smiled slightly, and grabbed Remus’ hand, and used his other hand to stroke Remus’ cheek. “Yeah. I know you’re not. But that’s the first time you’ve ever admitted it.”  
Remus cocked his head, confused. “No it’s not. I’ve told you I’m not okay before,” he reasoned.  
Sirius smiled to himself. “Can we go to our room for a bit?”  
Remus held up his hand and smiled, and quickly walked over to Dumbledore. “Professor?”  
Dumbledore looked up from the puzzle he was doing. Seriously? Remus thought. He brought a puzzle?! “Yes, Remus?”  
Choosing not to point out the fact that Dumbledore brought a puzzle to what was essentially a barricaded battlefield, Remus said “How long do we have before we need to set up and stuff?”  
Dumbledore checked his watch. “Forty-five minutes? An hour?”  
“Is it alright if Sirius and I go and lie down for a little bit? We’ll be ready when you are, of course,” Remus clarified.  
“Of course, Remus. Just please don’t do anything physically strenuous-“  
“No!” Remus cried out, causing everyone in the room to stare at him. “Sorry, I meant we just wanted to talk,” he clarified under his breath. Dumbledore talking about Sirius and Remus’ sex life in any level of subtlety was disturbing.Dumbledore seemed undeterred. “Ah, of course. I’ll get Marlene to fetch you when we are ready,” the old man said with a smile.  
“Thank you, Professor,” Remus said kindly, walking away. He definitely wasn’t going to be doing anything ‘physically strenuous’ with Sirius. Not after he heard Dumbledore talk about it.  
Remus found himself in front of Sirius. “Hey. You wanted to go to our room?”  
Sirius nodded. “Yeah. Let’s go.” Sirius started up the staircase, Remus following. As Sirius headed to their room, he turned his head spoke to Remus. “So. Why’d you yell ‘no’?”  
Remus shuddered. “Dumbledore told me we could go but not to have sex. ’Twas uncomfortable.”  
Sirius chuckled. “Disgusting!” And Remus laughed with him.

Sirius pushed open the door to their room and Remus walked in after him, shutting the door.  
Sirius lay down on the bed. “Uh, Sirius, I think Dumbledore was serious-“  
“Oh, shush, you,” Sirius interrupted him. “I’m just lying down. I’m tired. C’mere,” he said softly, opening his arms for Remus to lie down in.  
Shrugging his shoulders, Remus crawled onto the bed and settled on his boyfriend’s chest. “So. You wanted to talk?”  
Sirius nodded, and pushed himself up so that he was sitting against the headboard, Remus leaning on his shoulder. “Yeah, I did. Look at me,” he added.  
Remus shifted so that he could see Sirius’ face. “Yeah, like that,” Sirius smiled, kissing Remus on the forehead. “I wanted to tell you something.” Remus looked concerned. The words that followed that statement were often disappointing, at best. “No, baby, nothing bad!”  
Remus sighed with relief. “Oh. Okay. What is it?”  
Sirius exhaled deeply, with a smile on his face. “Well. You know how I said before that you’d never told me that you weren’t okay?”  
“Yeah?” Remus was confused, because he could remember many occasions, just in the past week, where he had admitted to Sirius that he wasn’t okay.  
“I didn’t mean saying that exactly. You’ve told me you weren’t okay before.” Remus nodded. “Wait, Moony?”  
Remus said “Yeah?” softly.“I might monologue for a bit. Is that ok?”  
Remus laughed. “You used the word I taught you!” Sirius nodded like an excited puppy. “But yeah, baby, that’s fine. Say what you need to say.”  
Sirius nodded. “Okay. Well. I know you hold things back. You hold a lot back. You don’t lie to me, you never have, really, you just don’t tell me the full story sometimes.” Remus must have looked just as guilty as he felt, because Sirius stroked his hair, and kept talking. “Hey, hey. I’m not angry. I know it’s hard for you to be open. You’ve had to hide your whole life. You had to hide from me, with Sebastian, and-“ Sirius stopped talking, and Remus realised that at the mention of Sebastian’s name he had started shaking. “Sorry, baby. I shouldn’t have brought him up.”  
“It’s okay,” Remus whispered.  
Sirius kissed him on the head and continued. “You don’t always tell me the truth. You leave parts out that you think I won’t like, or you rearrange stories so that you come off in a different way. I don’t blame you for that, you know. The past is an ugly place. I, of all people, would know that,” Sirius said, a knowing look on his face. Remus nodded at him, agreeing. “Sometimes thought, you do lie. Sometimes you don’t tell me the truth, or you stretch it. And I know I’m supposed to be the fuck-up in this relationship, but I think you’re a bit of a fuck-up too.”  
Remus’ entire body tensed up. “Are you breaking up with me?” He whimpered.  
Sirius gasped. “God, no! Never, Rem. Forever and always, remember?” Remus nodded, and Sirius held him closer when he continued. “I’m really broken, Remus. I am. And I know that you are, too. You’ve acted like someone who you’re not your entire life. You’ve been told to be someone who you aren’t. Just. Like. Me. Sure, in a different way. Sure, it was being forced on me, but you forced it on yourself. Sometimes, I think that’s worse. We’re two people, two very broken people. And the reason I wanted to talk to you is because for the first time, responding to a question like that, you told me the truth. I don’t know why, I’m almost confused as to why actually, but I’m not complaining,” Sirius smiled.  
Remus took a moment to take everything in. “Wait, you would’ve married me even though you knew that I lied to you?”  
Sirius smiled. “I always know when you’re lying, Moony.”  
“But you don’t say anything?” Remus asked, flustered.  
“I always find out, Moony. I always find out the truth. Sometimes I’ll ask you about it, and sometimes I know it will hurt, so I leave it.”  
Remus realised that this man was far too good for him. He’s put up with all the lies that Remus thought he executed so well. He’s put up with every time that Remus held back the truth, and every single time that he stretched the truth. Sirius, who had been tricked, and bullied, his whole life, let Remus do the same to him.   
“You’re too good for me,” Remus whimpered.  
“Shhh, shhh, baby, hey,” Sirius whispered, pulling Remus into his chest. “I love you.”  
“Why?” Remus asked. “You tell me everything and I don’t do the same.”  
“Sure, maybe you don’t. But I waited for you to want to. If you want to now, that is,” Sirius corrected himself.  
“I do,” Remus said boldly. “I want to be honest with you.”  
“Don’t say that if you don’t mean it, Remus,” Sirius said. Sirius using Remus’ full name meant he was really, really serious.  
Remus took a moment to consider this. Could he really do it? He wouldn’t make a promise he couldn’t keep. That would hurt Sirius more than any lie could. But he knew that he loved the man in front of him more than anything. He made a promise when he slipped the ring onto Sirius’ finger that he would do anything for him. So, he decided, then and there, that he would tell Sirius the truth. He wouldn’t leave anything out, and he wouldn’t stretch it.  
“I mean it.”  
Sirius smiled up at Remus, the biggest and most genuine smile that Remus had ever seen on his boyfriend’s face. “Okay,” Sirius said softly, pulling Remus further into his chest and holding him tighter. “Thank you,” he whispered.  
Remus’ heart almost broke at the relief in Sirius’ voice. He had been lying to Sirius this whole time, thinking he was doing it so that he didn’t hurt him, but every time he lied he hurt Sirius even more. Sirius never asked anything of Remus. Well, he did, but never anything like ‘stop lying’.   
It was weird to think that this relationship started with Sirius treating Remus like utter shite, and now Sirius treats Remus like he is nothing less than everything to him, and Remus treats Sirius like utter shite. Remus vowed, then and there, that he wouldn’t do this anymore. He wouldn’t Sirius like that again. He wouldn’t treat Sirius like he was anything less than Remus’ whole world, because, well, he was. He always, always would be.“Not a day will pass that I will not love you,” Remus said, earnestly, into Sirius’ chest.“A moment will never pass that I do not love you, too,” Sirius murmured into Remus’ hair.   
“So,” Remus said, shifting so that he was sitting up, facing Sirius. “What do you want to know?”  
“What?” Sirius asked.  
“With everything I’ve told you, or, more like not told you. What do you want to know?”  
Sirius beamed at Remus, and began.  
Remus didn’t know how long had passed since Sirius had started asking questions, and it had been incredibly stressful. Sirius wanted to know everything. Remus didn’t realise how much he’d lied, to be honest. And he decided he would be. Honest, that is. So he told Sirius everything. He knew some of it hurt Sirius, but it was preferable that it hurt him now rather than Sirius realise later than Remus had lied again. It made him feel horrible, answering all of Sirius’ questions, but he knew that he deserved it. He knew that it was helping Sirius recover, and that’s what was important.  
“OI, DING DONGS!” A voice came from outside the door, accompanied by aggressive knocking. “PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON AND GET OUT HERE!”  
“WE HAVE CLOTHES ON!” The two boys yelled desperately. No one would listen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I've been absent, I've been in psych hospital again.  
> I have bipolar, and my anorexia has brought on a manic episode so I couldn't control myself.  
> I'm still manic, but I have control now. So there'll be many more updates now!!  
> I love you all. Thank you for being loyal.  
> Heads up, my girlfriend is abusing me, so if I miss a day or two it's probably because I'm shitting it.  
> Look after yourselves. Gabby xx


	29. Family.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Family...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll post heaps of chapters today!
> 
> Please keep commenting, your comments are my motivation x

The Order was in position. The Dark Mark had been cast upon the sky above the house, and slowly more death eaters were gathering around the house inn a perfect circle. Sirius realised they must all be at the edge of the forcefield. They were casting spells, any spell that they could think of, to break the protection spells, but there were just too many. The Order’s protective mechanisms were being broken, but very slowly, giving them enough time to adequately prepare for the battle.  
It was torture, thought Sirius. Having to stand and watch people slowly break the forcefield, and being able to do nothing about it. He could do nothing right now, except wait. He felt useless.

“NO!” A yell came from upstairs, followed by a “STOP IT!”  
The ‘no’ was James, Sirius could tell. He flickered his eyes to Remus’, because the ‘stop it’ was Lily.  
“NOBODY MOVE!” Mad-Eye boomed, and bolted up the stairs as quickly as his peg-leg could manage.   
Something couldn’t have happened to James or Lily, or Harry. How could any one have gotten in? He heard voices coming from upstairs, but they were no longer the yells from before. Eventually, Mad-Eye emerged at the top of the staircase, and limped down. “They won’t leave the boy,” he sighed.“Maybe they shouldn’t?”muttered Alice, loud enough for them all to hear.  
Dumbledore stepped forward. “We need them, Alice. Lily is our strongest young witch, and James one of our strongest young wizards. We won’t make it through without them.”  
Everyone was looking around at each other, clearly hoping that someone would speak up with a solution.  
Sirius stepped out of his line and looked at Dumbledore. “He’s my brother. I can talk him down.”  
“You can talk him into anything, if I remember correctly,” McGonagall chimed in, smiling.  
Dorcas stepped out of the line opposite Sirius’ and said “I’d offer to go talk Lily out of staying up there, but I think Remus should go.”  
Sirius looked over at Remus, who looked nervous. “Are you sure? You’re one of her best friends-“  
“But you’re her BEST friend, Rem. She’ll listen to you,” Marlene cut Remus off.  
Sirius walked over to the staircase and stopped at Remus. “Let’s go?”  
Remus swallowed nervously, but nodded, and held Sirius’ hand as they traipsed up the stairs. The closer they got to Harry’s room, the louder the sobs became.   
Stephanie was standing outside Harry’s door, her head in her hands. “There’s nothing I can do,” she said, sounding hopeless and defeated.  
“It’s okay,” Sirius said. “We’re here now.”  
She nodded, and turned her head to look out the window. A look of horror spread over her face. “What is it Steph?” Remus asked quickly.  
She pointed at the window. The forcefield was cracking. Slowly, sure, but it was definitely cracking. They were going to get in. Lily and James needed to get downstairs.“Shit, alright. We’ve got this, okay?” Sirius said to reassure Stephanie, and, frankly, to reassure himself.  
She nodded and pulled him into an unexpected hug. “They need to fight so that nothing happens to him. Nothing can happen to him,” she whimpered.  
Sirius squeezed her tight and pulled away to look her in the eyes. “Nothing is going to happen to him. Can you let us in?” Stephanie was the only one who knew how to break the spell keeping the door locked. Eventually she sighed, murmured a few words under her breath and waved her wand. The door swung open to reveal two crying parents and a scared baby.  
“Hey, guys, it’s time to go,” Remus whispered at the parents gently.“No!” James and Lily cried in unison. “We can’t leave him!” James half-shouted.  
“He’s our son,” Lily pleaded.  
“The only way that he will be safe is if you come and fight with us,” Sirius reasoned.  
“There’s a spell on the room!” Lily called out. Remus sat down next to her and started to quietly explain how one spell on a room wasn’t nearly enough.  
“We can keep him safe here! We won’t leave him!” James justified to Sirius, now that Remus was occupied.  
Sirius sat down next to James, who was holding Harry tight to his chest. “He will only be safe when all of this is over, Prongs,” Sirius said calmly. “He will only be safe when the death eaters are gone. And they’re out there, ready to storm the house,” Sirius wasn’t sure whether telling James this was the best approach, but it was too late to go back. “And when they storm the house, we need Lily and James, who are, combined, the most powerful wizarding couple to exist, to defend this house. To defend their child. To defend the beautiful boy in your arms. Theres only so much defence that can be put around a room. We need to stop them getting close to the room. Stop them getting close to the HOUSE. And the only way that we can keep them away, and keep Harry safe, is with your help out there,” Sirius finished. Right, he thought, maybe not his best speech, but he hoped it would do the job.   
James looked at Harry for quite a while, and smiled at the little boy, who giggled back at his father. “Okay,” James said quietly.  
“Okay?” Sirius repeated, surprised.   
“Yeah. Okay. If me going out there is what it takes to keep my son safe, then I’ll go out there. I would die for him. The moment that he was born I knew I would always die for him,” James said softly.  
“James?” A voice came from the other side of the room. Lily. “We should go down,” she said boldly. “We should do this, for our son.”  
James nodded at her. “For our son.”  
Remus got up to fetch Stephanie, and Sirius gave James a hug. They didn’t do that much, hug, but it felt right in the moment. “Thank you, Padfoot.”  
“Any time, Prongs.” The brothers smiled at each other. “I’ll be outside,” Sirius said, getting up. He gave Lily a hug, too. “You’re fucking brave, Evans,” he smiled.  
“So are you, Sirius,” she said, wiping away a tear. Stephanie came back in, followed by Remus.  
James and Lily stood up. “Sorry for yelling at you,” they said in unison.  
She smiled understandingly. “It’s okay.”James and Lily whispered in each others ears for a moment, before pulling away. “We’d like you to be Harry’s godmother,” Lily said certainly.  
“Really?” Stephanie beamed.  
“Really.” James confirmed, passing Harry to Steph. “Look after him for us, yeah?”   
She nodded, and James and Lily kisses Harry on the forehead, and promised him that they would come back later.

Sirius shut the door behind Remus, Lily and James. The four of them looked at each other and nodded, a nod that only they understood the meaning of. Then they turned and headed downstairs, ready for everything to begin.

———————————————————————

A scream rang in Sirius’ ears, and no matter how hard he tried to block the noise out, it just got louder. A killing curse flew towards Remus, who was battling two other death eaters, and Sirius lunged to block it. The battle had been going on for hours now, and the death eaters didn’t seem like they would be giving up anytime soon. They were, however, depleting in numbers. Many were disabled and could not fight. Some were lying dead around the paddock and the entrance to the house, their spells having rebounded on themselves. Moody had killed a few, and they all knew that, but tried to push it out of their mind, for the reason that he had killed them was to protect The Order. Sirius was growing tired, and he noticed that Remus was, too. Upon looking around he noticed that everyone was growing tired, their spell work still perfect, but their stance lazier. It was getting dark, and they had started duelling at nine that morning. This wasn’t sustainable, Sirius knew. It wasn’t sustainable for them to do this all week.   
But then he looked over to James and Lily, back to back, duelling fiercely, and he realised that it may not be sustainable, but it would have to be. They would have to keep going, even when they felt that they couldn’t. There was a child that they had vowed to protect.

A few minutes later, it was officially dark outside. The remnants of the forcefield cast a soft glow on the battle ground, the paddock around the house. They had stopped anyone getting inside so far, but it was getting more difficult.’  
Sirius then saw, in the distance, a large group of death eaters disappear. Then, the masked man that he was duelling, Dolohov, undoubtedly, seemed to give up. He threw up a protection spell and ran the other direction, calling for his counterparts to follow. Slowly, but suddenly, the death eaters all disappeared. They ran to the closest point that they could apparate from and vanished. Everyone kept their wands up, ready for some surprise attack, but it never came. They were gone.   
“Wands down,” Dumbledore said quietly, yet everyone heard him. They all lowered their wands and, for the first time since that morning, they allowed themselves to breathe. 

——————————————————————

“I am proud of you. I am immensely proud of all of you,” Dumbledore stated as he sat down to join them for dinner. “That was tiring, and hard, even for a wizard with my experience. I cannot imagine how exhausted you all are.”  
“You wouldn’t bloody want to,” Gideon whispered under his breath. Dumbledore met his eye and smiled.   
James and Lily were upstairs with Harry, and Stephanie was sitting with William. There would be members of the pack joining them the following day to give other Order members a break. Dorcas was asleep in Marlene’s lap.  
Sirius grabbed Remus’ hand and gave him a pleading look. Remus quickly banished their plates and they went, they FINALLY went, to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UGH I HAVE EXAMS


	30. A Moonlit Chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dumbledore and Remus are up at 2am.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a fluffy chapter to prepare for the heavy angst coming up.

Remus woke up with a start. It must have been the middle of the night, because it was dark outside, the house was silent and his boyfriend was snoring next to him. There was no reason for him to do anything except go back to sleep, but once he was awake, he stayed awake, so he decided instead to quietly slip on a sweater and some shoes and wander out into the lounge.  
There was a dim light coming from inside the lounge, so someone else was up. They all made a deal that they would keep the lights off to remain as inconspicuous as possible while they were in the safe house. So, a light on, meant that someone else was up. Remus decided that he would peek around the door before going inside because although only the core members of The Order were in the house, he didn’t really feel like speaking to Marlene, or Caradoc, or the Prewetts. They would all want to talk about the past week, or Peter, or Harry, or the battle. Now that he thought about it, he didn’t really want to speak to James or Peter, either.  
Remus crept towards the door and slowly peeked around. He hadn’t even seen who was in there before he heard a familiar voice speak. “Remus, you can come in. We don’t have to talk if you wouldn’t like to,” the familiar voice said.  
Having no idea how he was spotted, Remus shrugged in defeat and entered the room. Dumbledore was sitting in a large leather armchair, wearing pyjamas of lavender purple, a book in his hand, and his glasses perched on his nose. He looked up at Remus and smiled. “Would you like to take a seat?”  
Remus nodded and sat down in an armchair opposite Dumbledore. “What are you doing up, Professor?”  
Dumbledore placed a bookmark in his novel and quietly shut it, giving his full attention to Remus. “I suspect I am up for the same reason that you are, Remus,” the old man replied.  
Why did this man have to be so bloody cryptic? Remus didn’t even know why he was up in the first place. “But Professor, I don’t know why I’m up,” Remus sighed. Better to be honest.  
Dumbledore smiled. “I don’t know why I am up, either.” Remus just stared. He didn’t know what an appropriate response to that would be. “I wouldn’t know what to say, either,” Dumbledore added.Bloody bastard! Bloody legilimency! Remus laughed before he could stop himself. “This is hardly fair, Professor. I’m a shite occlumens, and you’re quite an accomplished legilimens, from what I can tell!”  
Dumbledore chuckled. “You’re right about both of those things. You aren’t a wonderful occlumens, although you would be, if you tried, and I’m a fantastic legilimens. However, I haven’t made eye contact with you once. I am simply doing what the muggles refer to as ‘reading the room’.”  
Remus dropped his jaw. “I should work on that.”  
Dumbledore smiled. “It’s admirable to show your emotions, Remus. It isn’t a bad thing to wear your heart on your sleeve, you know. But yes, sometimes it is best to be more closed off. There is no need to be right now, however. Who am I going to share with? I harbour many people’s many secrets. It comes with age.”  
Remus smiled gently. “I guess it does.” He paused for a moment, before he said “How do you do it? Keep everyone’s secrets? How do you know so much? Like, how is there room in your brain for everything?”  
Dumbledore clasped his hands together and looked thoughtful for a moment, before turning back to Remus. “I feel the best way to describe it is that I have boxes in my brain. There’s a large box for memories, from birth to the one I’m creating right now. There’s a box for my own secrets, that I prefer to keep firmly locked. There’s a box for other people’s secrets, which I keep safe, and locked away from prying eyes. There is a box for spells, I think. And a box for knowledge learnt from books. There is a box full of characters from books, and a box of words I love more than all the others. There’s a box that makes up the rest of my brain, the box that remembers language and the History of Magic. There is a box for all of the people in my life, their names, their faces, their favourite cakes. Yours,” Dumbledore gestured to Remus, “Is double chocolate with a ganache icing I believe?” Remus nodded, slightly shocked that Dumbledore remembered that information that Remus had shared in third year, in passing. “My favourite box is full of song lyrics and poetry. I like to open it when I am alone. There is many more, of course. But that is how I keep everything safe, and hidden. There are some things that I do not want to forget, like my favourite song, or my first love. I am glad I have kept them in my mind all these years, and there are also some things that I wish to forget. Things that I desperately try to escape. Unfortunately, they are locked in a box to which I do not have the key. They will probably stay with me until my demise. I do my best to make sure that the things I want to remember stay with me until then, too.”  
That was an awful lot to take it, Remus thought, but it made sense. Dumbledore was an old, old man, who had been entrusted with the secrets of many great wizards, secrets that could end lives if exposed. It was admirable, really, the way that Dumbledore managed to organise his mind. Remus realised that his mind was a mess.  
“Professor?”  
“Yes, Remus?”  
“What kind of things are in your boxes? Not the secrets, I don’t want to know them, just things that you think are important?”  
Dumbledore smiled. “The things that are important to me will be different than the things that are important to you,” he explained“I know,” Remus responded, “But could you tell me what is important to you?”  
Dumbledore shifted in his armchair. “Yes, I believe I can. It’s two-thirty in the morning, isn’t that when the best conversations are had?”

“I have my secrets, and I was wondering if I could share one with you,” Dumbledore asked.  
Remus felt both honoured and shocked. “Of course, Professor. I won’t tell anyone. I promise,” Remus clarified.  
Dumbledore chuckled. “I know you won’t, Remus. I wouldn’t offer if II didn’t trust you.” Remus nodded. “Well, I had a sister, once. I have a brother. My sister is no longer with us. My brother and I do not speak. I don’t think I’ll tell you what happened, at least not right now.”  
Remus didn’t know why Dumbledore was telling him all this, but he was hardly going to ask for more. “Don’t feel the need to, Professor. I’m sorry you lost your sister.”  
Dumbledore nodded. “Thank you, Remus. That is kind of you to say. I harbour other people’s secrets, but they have trusted me with them, and I will always uphold that trust.”“That’s admirable, Sir,” Remus responded earnestly.   
“I do my best. My box of spells is almost overflowing. There’s knowledge from books, like the type of gas used in the disgusting concentration camps in the muggle’s world war II. There is Atticus Finch, a character from my favourite Muggle novel. He is a man from whom I have learnt a lot. A man who I do not wish to forget. There’s a box of language, separated into many smaller boxes, from English to Mermish and everything in between. There is a full recount of the goblin wars. There’s a box that you are in, Remus. A box that everyone in this house is in, everyone in my life, now and before, is in that box. My favourite poems are in a box, along with song lyrics that I never wish to forget. My first love, the boy-“ Remus’ eyes widened and Dumbledore preemptively cast a silencing charm before Remus yelled “WHAT?!”  
“Ah, yes. I’m gay, you see. I’d appreciate if you didn’t share that information. You can tell Sirius, if you would like. I expect he would get quite a kick out of it,” Dumbledore laughed.  
Remus’ jaw was almost on the floor. He composed himself quickly. “Sorry, Sir, I just didn’t realise. Massive shock, as you can tell,” he pointed at himself.   
Dumbledore waved him off. “Completely understandable. Add that fact to your box of other’s secrets. Keep it locked, if you please. I wish to forget what happened to my sister, and I wish to forget all of the mistakes that I have made that, if not made, could have prevented many horrible things from happening. And there is my favourite box, of course.”  
Dumbledore was silent for a moment, so Remus impatiently asked “What’s in it?”  
“My favourite kinds of socks. I quite like socks. The ones I am wearing have dragons on them.” Dumbledore said simply.  
Remus was gobsmacked. “Has anyone ever told you that you are a strange man?” He blurted out before he could stop himself.  
Dumbledore laughed. “Has anyone ever told you that you are a werewolf?”

—————————————————————

Remus settled back into bed as the sun began to rise. He had never spent that much time alone with Dumbledore before. He had learned a lot, but mostly it had just confirmed his theory that Dumbledore was quite possibly the oddest person he had ever met.  
He was still shocked by some information, and was almost bursting at the seams. Remus gently shook Sirius awake. “Padfoot!” He whispered. He was met with a grunt in reply. “It’s important!”  
Sirius groaned. “It’s five in the morning. Nothing is that important.” Sirius rolled over and went back to sleep.  
“SiriusBlackwakeuprightnowitisurgent,” Remus blurted out.  
Reluctantly, Sirius sat up, rubbing his eyes. “This better be bloody life or death, Lupin.”  
Remus grinned maniacally at his boyfriend. “You are never going to believe this.”  
Sirius seemed intrigued. “What is it?”  
“Dumbledore’s fucking gay!” He yelled in a whisper.  
Just as Dumbledore had, Remus cast a quick silencing charm, which was lucky, because Sirius yelled “NO FUCKING WAY!”

————————————————————-

They rose late the next morning. The battle was over, the week was over, and they could go home. Lily and James weren’t leaving their baby’s side anytime soon, and the rest of them looked exhausted. They packed up slowly, and the time came for them to all trudge back to the portkey.  
They grabbed the old football and they span, landing back in London. They went their separate ways without even saying goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey loves,  
> I'm trying to find time to post with exams, but the fic is finished  
> It finishes SO SADLY, and it makes me so sad even reading it over, but the next part of this series starts way better I promise!!  
> Love you,  
> Gabby xx


	31. The Couches Are Almost Empty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chapter full of time jumps.   
> A lot is explained.  
> We lose a lot of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. I really hope you like this chapter, even though it's sad. This fic is almost over, but I've started my next one. Please keep reading.
> 
> Also; read end notes.

SIX MONTHS LATER

“Morning,” Sirius yawned, turning over to his boyfriend. But, his boyfriend wasn’t there. Huh. Throwing on a pair of pants, Sirius rubbed his eyes as he walked out to the main space of the flat. There were muffled voices coming from the right cupboard, the one that hid the bar. Sirius quietly opened the cupboard to reveal Lily, James, Remus and Peter, sitting in a circle, speaking under their breaths.   
“I don’t know what to do,” Lily sighed. “He’s getting bigger, and his birthday is coming up. According to Dumbledore they’ll next come in three months. I’m really not ready for this,” she sighed, leaning against James.  
James stroked her hair. “I know, love. But you’ll never be ready. No one should ever be ready,” he said into her hair.  
“He’s right, Lils,” Remus spoke up. Peter nodded in agreement.  
“But when will it be over?” Lily asked. “When will my son be safe?”  
There was a silence that seemed deafening. None of them knew that it would ever be over. For all they knew, Harry would be hunted for his whole life.  
“He might always hunted, Lily. But he’ll always be safe,” Sirius said from his spot leaning against the door. Remus whipped his head around at the sound of Sirius’ voice. “Yes, Remus, I’m awake,” Sirius said lazily.  
You see, Sirius and Remus had been walking on eggshells around each other recently. Sirius didn’t actually know why, and he suspected that Remus didn’t either. They still loved each other, they weren’t fighting, and they still wore their rings, but there had been no conversations about marriage. Dinner had been a silent affair, and they’d stopped having sex. They still said that they loved each other, they still meant it, but the war had finally done to them what it had done to all of the other couples, except James and Lily, who couldn’t afford to fall apart, because they had a son.  
Caradoc’s relationship had fallen apart, and however odd it was, it was sad, watching him and William separate, and watching the young Auror’s daughter, Josie, go with William and leave Caradoc. It didn’t really matter, though. Caradoc had gone missing three months ago. He was dead, they all knew it. He would never have turned to the other side, and they would’ve killed him by now. He would’ve never given up the information that they wanted, and he wasn’t much use to them if he was just harbouring secrets and refusing to join their side. The Order had searched for his body for two months, and eventually Mad-Eye called it. They weren’t going to find him. The Prewetts mourned his loss, and naturally they took it harder than the others did. Alice and Frank were fighting as fiercely as ever. They had grown a lot as wizards. The worst thing that had happened in the past six months was that Marlene and Dorcas disappeared. They had been hunted, viciously, for a few months, but the death eaters knew exactly where they were and it was only a matter of time before they found them. But if the death eaters found Marlene and Dorcas, they would find Remus and Sirius, and James and Lily, and the Prewetts, and Alice and Frank, and eventually the warehouse itself. Marlene and Dorcas sent a patronus to each of the couples, or each of the apartments, saying that they were leaving, and probably not coming back. They were going to be careful, they promised, but they needed to leave, at least for the rest of the war. Every once in a while they would send a Patronus to the warehouse at the usual time that they were there, just to say that they were okay. This only happened once a month, if that. They’d been gone for four months, and even though there were reminders that they were alive, it felt like they were dead. It felt like everyone was dying, and it wouldn’t be long until they were all gone.

“Oh, morning, Sirius. I tried to wake you, but you just groaned a lot,” Remus said with a rare smile. It made Sirius feel a lot better that Remus had tried to wake him. Any reminder that Remus still loved him was worth treasuring. “Come sit,” Remus added, patting the pillow next to him.   
Sirius took a seat on the pillow, and felt Remus pull him in. This was rare, now, this show of affection. He let himself smile for the first time in a while. He let himself drift back to sleep.

TWO MONTHS LATER

The past few months were full of battles, but that was nothing new. Fighting just felt like an every day activity at this point.   
They had all been called to the warehouse at midnight on a Tuesday. This usually meant that someone had died. Why else would they all be called so urgently? Alice was holding Neville, and James was holding Harry. They hadn’t exactly had time to book a babysitter. Dumbledore entered, finally, and sat in an armchair facing all of them. He looked concerned.  
“Professor? What is it?” Lily asked.  
“It’s just… There were so many of you, once. Looking at the empty couches, well, I feel like it is my fault.”  
“It’s not your fault, Sir,” Sirius added. It totally was, but there was no point adding salt to the wound.   
Dumbledore smiled weakly. “Thank you, Sirius, but we are all aware that it is.” No one said anything, and that was answer enough.   
Alice yawned. “Sorry, Professor, with all due respect, why the fuck are we here?”  
Dumbledore nodded. “Ah, yes. Well, I’m sure you have noticed that not everyone is here today.” Dumbledore’s voice was shaking, and Sirius swore he saw a tear in the corner of the old man’s eye.  
“Yeah,” Frank snarled. He always was angry when he was tired. “Marlene and Dorcas had to fuck off to god knows where, for good reason, mind you, Caradoc is missing and almost certainly dead, Benjy was blown to pieces, and Fabian and Gideon are on a mission in Scotland, hopefully not dead, too.”  
Dumbledore went white. “Thank you, Frank, but that does make this quite awkward,” he said quietly.  
“What?” Frank asked, genuinely confused.  
“It’s best that Alastor explains,” Dumbledore said. For the first time in Sirius’ life, Dumbledore seemed scared.  
On queue, Moody limped into the room. He was covered in blood from head to, well, peg, and he had a curse mark down his face. A scar that will never heal, that is.   
“What the fuck happened to you?” James gasped. “Sorry,” he apologised.   
“Fair question, ya bastard,” Moody sighed, plonking down in a wooden chair. His leg clacked against the legs of the chair and the wood against wood echoed throughout the whole room. “We had a bit of a dust-up in Scotland with Dolohov and his cling-ons.”  
“Where are Fabian and Gideon?” Remus asked, gripping Sirius’ hands. This was obviously bad news, but the past twi months Remus and Sirius had gone back to normal. They were even planning a wedding. Anyway.  
Mad-Eye looked lost for words. “They fought like heroes.” He settled on.  
“No!” Frank yelled. “What the fuck happened?!”  
This was the first time Sirius had seen Moody show any genuine emotion. “They saved every muggle. There was at least a hundred. They saved me. They fought like true fuckin’ heroes. I am proud to have known them,” Mad-Eye finished quietly.  
“NO FUCKING WAY IS THIS HAPPENING!” Frank screamed.  
“Frank! Neville!” Alice hissed at her husband, rocking her baby to prevent him crying.  
“Uh, yeah, I’d love if you didn’t yell, baby over here too,” James said. He was crying.  
Sirius looked around, and noticed that they were all crying.   
“I’m sorry,” Frank whispered, and dropped back into his chair, his head in his hands.   
“It’s quite alright, Longbottom,” Moody said quietly. “Gideon told me to tell you you were wicked. I don’t know what that means. The last thing they said was that they love each other. I think as soon as we started duelling they knew that they wouldn’t come out alive. But before that, they mentioned you. I’ve got some of their stuff because the death eaters pretty much fucked off as soon as they had killed them, because I started going fucking ham on them. I think I killed one of em. Accident, of course,” Moody said, looking at Dumbledore.  
“I’ve got their wands and their watches. I’m about to take a visit to Molly and the parents to give em back. I figure they should have them.”“I agree,” Frank sniffled. “I agree.”  
Suddenly, everything that had happened, and all those that were lost, it all hit Sirius at once. He gasped. Then everything went black.

“Sirius?” A voice snapped Sirius out his fainting spell.  
Sirius sat up and felt so dizzy that he fell straight back down. Remus caught him. Remus always caught him. “Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay,” Remus said quietly.  
Sirius smiled. “I love you, Moony,” he whispered, and he meant it.  
“I love you too, Padfoot,” Remus whispered back, holding Sirius to his chest. Remus meant it, too.  
“I’m scared.” Sirius didn’t realise that he wanted to admit that, but the feeling of relief that flooded his body was more than enough confirmation that he had been holding it in for far too long.  
“I’m scared, too,” Remus whispered, stroking Sirius’ hair. “But we’ll be okay. You know why?” Sirius didn’t actually know why. “Why?”  
“Because I have you, and you have me. And we’re never letting each other go.”  
Sirius smiled back at Remus and wrapped his arms around the taller boy’s neck. “Never, ever, ever letting each other go.”

REMUS

ONE MONTH LATER

Lily was sitting with a much bigger Harry on her lap, and he was making sounds that occasionally formed into words. James was furiously writing something on a piece of parchment. He’d spilled the ink bottle over more than once. Remus had cleaned it up before he had noticed.   
Today they were discussing the Fidelius Charm, which also meant that they were saying goodbye to James and Lily for what could be up to a year, depending on how the war was fairing. Harry should be safe from Voldemort when the war ended. The war had to end, at some point. Everything eventually came to an end, after all. They wouldn’t let Voldemort win. They all knew that Voldemort just couldn’t win, but they didn’t know how long it would take to stop him. This would only end when Voldemort was dead. But how do you kill a wizard with an army to protect him? How do you kill one of the most powerful wizards alive? Someone who’s evil rivals Grindelwald’s? How do you kill a wizard with only one goal, to kill, to kill Harry Potter? How do you stop that happening when there’s only The Order and their allies to stop it? These were the questions that Remus tried to answer as he lay awake at night, Sirius sleeping soundly next to him. Well, not soundly, because Sirius’ dreams were contaminated with nightmares. Remus suspected that all of their sleeps were disturbed these days. Suddenly, Dumbledore’s voice forced Sirius out of his daze.

“Thank you all for joining us here today, to farewell James and Lily and set up the Fidelius Charm. As you all know, the charm only lasts a year, and will need to be recast every October 31st until this unfortunate war has come to an end. An end in OUR favour, that is,” Dumbledore clarified.   
Suddenly, James stood up and cleared his throat. “Thank you, guys. Really. You’ve done so much for us, and so much for Harry,” James looked down at his wife and child and smiled. “I’m really going to miss you all. I’m sorry we can’t help fight, but Harry’s my kid, and I’d do anything for him.”  
“We understand, James. You’re not being selfish, you’re being a good fucking dad. He’s a lucky kid. I’m going to miss the prongslet,” Remus added. Everyone murmured their agreement.  
“Thank you,” James smiled.  
“I’m sorry we’re leaving. I’m really, really sorry. I have to, though. I love you all, but I love Harry more than anything,” Lily explained.  
“You don’t have to explain, Miss Evans. Sorry, Mrs Evans-Potter,” McGonagall’s voice came from behind them. “I think what you are doing is exceptionally brave.” Lily smiled and wiped a tear from her face.  
“So,” Dumbledore said, everyone’s attention becoming focused on him. “Potters. Who will be your secret keeper?”  
There was a strange pause. To everyone it would have seemed like nerves, but Remus looked at Lily and saw a look of extreme guilt on her face as she looked into the distance. Remus would figure it out later.  
“Sirius,” James announced. “I won’t fuck it up, I promise. I’d die for you, mate,” Sirius said, looking James in the eye. James nodded and smiled. He already knew that he would.   
“Right, well, it’s time to head to the house and perform the charm. I’ll cast it, with Miverna in the next room, ready to obliviate me to forget the location. I would allow you to perform the charm yourselves, but considering that this is life or death, I’d prefer someone who had cast it a few times before perform the task. Is that alright with you both? Feel free to tell me if it isn’t,” Dumbledore added.  
James and Lily whispered amongst themselves. They’d even cast a muffliato for good measure. Eventually, Lily spoke up. “Um, actually Sir, I think we’d rather perform it ourselves. James has been practicing for months. I think we’ll be okay.”  
Dumbledore narrowed his brows, before relaxing his face and smiling. “Whatever you think is best, Lily. As long as you’re sure it will be effective.”  
Lily nodded. “It will be. Definitely.”  
Dumbledore clapped. “Alright, well, enough with the formalities!” He turned around and waved his wand over the table, revealing cakes, and sweets, and chocolate, and all kinds of desserts. As a farewell celebration, I ask you to dig in!”

Remus felt full after the party of sorts. That night, Lily and James would be going to their room to pack immediately, so everyone said their goodbyes. There would be no farewell drinks. This was it.  
Luckily, Remus and Sirius lived next door, and Sirius was secret keeper, so they would say goodbye early that morning. The charm would be performed at midday, but they would have to leave early to get to… wherever they’re going. Remus wasn’t jealous that he wasn’t secret keeper, he was just sad that he couldn’t do anything anymore. He’d fought for Harry for the last fifteen months, and tomorrow it would all end so suddenly. Sirius and Remus were fairly quiet that night. They didn’t talk much before bed. Even though the Fidelius meant that Lil, James and Harry would be safe, it felt scarier for Sirius and Remus, because they couldn’t be there to protect them. Sirius was going to miss James, his best friend. Remus didn’t know how he was supposed to cope without Lily.  
It’s not a choice, he reminded himself. It’s for the best, for everyone. And one day it will be over, and they can all live the lives that they were supposed to live. At this point Remus would prefer begging on the streets and working underpaid muggle jobs than battling for his life every day. It was getting tiring. Unfortunately, they were all in too deep to run now. Marlene and Dorcas ran, but they had no other choice. It was quite clear that they would never see the girls again. They would probably die, and Remus would never know about it, realistically. It still sucked. 

————————————————————

“I am going to miss you SO much, Lils,” Remus whimpered into Lily’s hair.  
“I’m going to miss you too, Rem. I’m sorry I’m leaving you,” she apologised.  
“Lily, don’t be sorry. You have no reason to be. I want you to be safe more than anything. Just look after yourself, okay?” Remus said, trying not to cry.  
Lily nodded, tears in her eyes. “I will. I promise.” She planted a soft kiss on his lips, just like she had on her wedding day. “I love you, Remus.”  
He knew exactly what that kiss meant. It wasn’t romantic. It was love, and that was her way of showing it. “I love you too, Lily.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys.  
> A lot is happening in my life right now, and a lot of it isn't good.
> 
> I'm going to ask something, and it's totally okay if you say no, but I was wondering if anyone would be willing to email me and chat about some stuff? I feel like you guys know a lot about me and I always have a lot of trust for my readers, because I throw so much of myself into these fics.
> 
> If you'd be happy to talk, comment below and I'll respond with my email.
> 
> Sorry for the irregular updates; I really am doing my best.  
> Thank you guys so much and keep commenting.  
> Gabby x


	32. The Fidelius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter! Ah, I'm so sad that this fic has come to an end, but I've posted the first chapter of the next fic that I am so excited for!
> 
> 'Merlin, These Boys Are Idiots: Post-Azkaban LLAL Remix'
> 
> This will be a shorter fic because the OoTP fic is afterwards and will be longer, but get ready for Sirius to reunite with Remus after twelve years in Azkaban and for the Lie Low and Lupin's part, and for Sirius to start getting to know Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAHHHHHH!!!!!

Sirius woke up feeling absolutely fucking horrible. Like, seriously fucking horrible.   
Today was the day they’d perform the fidelius charm.   
Today was also the day he had to lie to Remus.

James and Lily decided that Sirius was the most obvious choice for secret keeper. The death eaters would come after him because even they knew that Sirius and James were closer than Voldemort and his own reflection. James and Lily obviously knew that Sirius would sooner die than give up their location, and they knew that there was no way that the death eaters could break him. Unfortunately, James cared too much about Sirius to subject him to such excessive torture. The death eaters would eventually figure out that Sirius didn’t know where they were, because there is always a way for them to break someone.   
So James and Lily had decided to do something that Sirius would like to note that he did not support, but it wasn’t his choice. He’d voiced his disagreement, but the two were set on their decision and there wasn’t much that Sirius could do.   
He hated the plan. They were using Peter as secret keeper.  
“Why not Remus?” Sirius had asked.  
“Because he’s going to be the secret keeper for your apartment,” Lily had replied.  
“And Peter’s the least obvious. Who’s going to come for him?” James said. Lily had scowled at him for demeaning Peter. Even though that was just normal at this point.   
Sirius knew that they had a point, he knew that they did. It didn’t mean that he liked the plan. Sirius wouldn’t be there when James performed the charm, but he had to tell Remus that he was. No one could know. Sirius didn’t understand why they couldn’t tell Remus, but even Lily agreed that they wouldn’t be telling him, so Sirius gave in. He’d go along with it.   
He had to admit that it was probably safer this way. Remus would be secret keeper for their apartment so that the death eaters couldn’t find Sirius. They’d spend so much time looking for him that no one else would even cross their mind. 

Sirius kissed Remus goodbye and headed to James and Lily’s.He opened the door to find Peter, Lily and James waiting in the lounge room. Peter looked sick, James looked determined and Lily looked.. sad. Really, really sad.   
“Hey,” Sirius said, unable to think of anything else to say.  
“Hey,” James and Lily responded in unison. Peter nodded his head and avoided Sirius’ eyes.  
“Okay,” James said, standing up. “We’re going to apparate with Peter to the location. Sirius, please stay here until Peter comes back.”  
Sirius nodded. “Okay. You’re going now?”   
James nodded. Sirius strode over and hugged James tighter than ever before. He never wanted to let go. He never ever wanted to let his brother, his family, go. Eventually, they pulled away. “I’ll miss you, you fuckwit,” James smiled.  
“I’ll miss you too, you twat,” Sirius grinned back. He then gave Lily a tender hug, and whispered in her ear. “Thank you, Lily.”  
“For what?” She whispered back. James was busy collecting the bags. “You made me a better man. You talked sense into me. You’re why Remus and I are together. You’ve forgiven me for everything. You’ve hated me, for good reason, but you saw what I really was. Underneath the Black.”  
She beamed. “Really?” Sirius nodded his head. “You’re a good person, Sirius. Looks after Remus.”  
“Always,” Sirius replied. Then she kissed him on the cheek, for the first time ever. Sirius almost blushed.   
Lily told him she needed to help with the bags and asked him to hold Harry. He happily obliged. “Hey, baby,” Sirius whispered at the timid toddler. “Your godfather is going to miss you,” he said sadly. “Padfoot will miss you,” he repeated.  
Harry scrunched up his face, and then he said, nervously, “Pads?”  
Sirius, to his immense embarrassment, burst into tears. “Yeah, Harry, Pads.”  
And with that, the family and Peter grasped hands, with their luggage in tow, and apparated away, leaving Sirius all alone in an empty apartment.

——————————————————————

Sirius had tried to open a motorcycle magazine, and he’d tried to watch muggle television. He’d even tried to nap.  
He settled for sitting at the dinner table, hands clasped, awaiting Peter’s return.  
An hour later, there was a crack from behind Sirius. Peter stood there, looking almost more nervous than he did before he left.  
“How’d it go?” Sirius asked.  
“Good. Everything went well. The charm worked. They’re all safe. Harry’s safe…” Peter kept rambling nervously for a minute before Sirius became impossibly irritated.  
“Okay! Shut up, will you?” Sirius snarled. “Sorry,” he apologised. “It’s just hard.”  
Peter nodded and sat down next to Sirius. “I know it is. This whole thing is shite.”  
After that, they sat in silence for a while. It could’ve been a minute, it could’ve been an hour. Eventually, they left the apartment, Sirius performing the most intense locking charms that he knew. They wouldn’t stop the death eaters, but it could convince them that James and Lily were inside, so they wouldn’t look elsewhere for Sirius. 

Next door, Sirius and Remus performed the fidelius charm on their own apartment. This time, Remus was secret keeper.  
They spent the next four hours sitting in complete silence, Sirius’ head on Remus’ shoulder. They were both briefly aware that they were crying, but neither of them brought it up.  
They were quiet. They needed to be.

——————————————————————

Remus and Sirius had gone to bed at nine that night. Sleeping was easier than facing reality at the moment. Remus drifted off, and Sirius pretended to as well.   
But there was an off feeling in his stomach. Something was wrong. At eleven or so, he quietly got out of bed and pulled on some jeans and a t-shirt. He left the bedroom, and turned to look at Remus before he left. His boyfriend looked so beautiful while he slept.   
“I love you,” Sirius whispered.   
He went into the kitchen to apparate, so that Remus wouldn’t wake up from the crack. He concentrated on Peter’s apartment building and started spinning.  
Sirius appeared in front of Peter’s door. Except he wasn’t looking at the door, he was looking straight into the apartment. The door was wide open. That wasn’t a good fucking sign.  
Sirius burst into the apartment and checked every room, every hiding place, for Peter. He performed the spell to lift all disillusionment charms, and still, nothing. He’d been taken by the death eaters. But there was no sign of a struggle. It seemed as though he’d had time to brush his teeth and have a coffee with them before he left…  
Holy fucking shit.   
Peter was the fucking spy.

Peter. Peter! Small, weak, Peter, a servant for the death eaters. Sirius had to tell Dumbledore. He had to let him know that they were all in more danger than anyone realised. But suddenly, as he placed his hand on the table to lean against it for balance, his hand brushed a piece of paper. A piece of paper with James’ handwriting on it.  
A piece of paper with the address of their house, their house under the charm. He needed to go, now.

—————————————————————

Sirius apparated back to his apartment to grab a set of keys from the kitchen. He’d been working on a motorbike for a while now, and he’d just perfected the charms to make it fly.   
He’d never actually flown it before, because he had only almost perfected the charms, but almost was good enough. He’d rather die on the way to save his surrogate family than he would like to live and not make it in time.   
He drove out into the street and prayed that the invisibility booster would work. He shut his eyes as he pressed the button, and when he opened them, sure enough, the entire bike, and he himself, were invisible. He sped down the street, which was quiet at one in the morning, and prayed with all his might that when he lifted off the ground he wouldn’t fall and break his neck.  
He felt the bike lift off the ground, and without even shaking, he flew through the air. He kept steering the bike higher, flying in the direction of Godric’s Hollow.  
The journey seemed to take forever. He forced himself to believe that James and Lily, and Harry, were safe, and that he would be warning them before anything happened. Eventually, he started the decline, and touched down, lifting the invisibility charm. He looked at the paper, and thought of the address, and sure enough, a house appeared in the place that it was meant to be.

The house was blown apart. 

The house was buzzing with magic, dark magic, and Sirius knew that something was very, very wrong. He knew he should send a patronus to Dumbledore, or Remus, or literally anyone, and he tried his best to produce one, but no happy memories would come to his mind, no matter how hard he tried. 

Then he heard a baby screaming. Harry.

Sirius bolted through the front garden and into the house. It would have been a nice house, a homely house for a family, but there was destruction in a path down the hallway. Sirius lit his wand and ran down the hall. 

At the foot of the stairs, lay his best friend. 

“JAMES!” Sirius screamed. “Come on, wake up,” Sirius cried, shaking James’ body. He knew, of course, that James was gone, but he didn’t want to believe it. He was aware that there were tears streaming down his face. Sirius looked back and saw he and Lily’s wands on the lounge in the living room. Sirius wanted to hold his brother and never let him go, but the cried of a baby forced him to keep going. Voldemort would have come for Harry, and he needed to get him out of here immediately.

Lily would have gone to Harry, would have protected him, and she was probably holding him now. She was alive, because she had to be. She was alive, because Sirius couldn’t lose both of them. Harry couldn’t lose his mother, too.   
Sirius bolted up the stairs and followed the crying into what must be Harry’s room. There was a baby, crying in a cot, whimpering “Mumma!” every once in a while.   
As Sirius got closer, his wand light fell onto the floor in front of the cot. 

Lily was lying, frozen, on the ground.

“No, no, no,” Sirius screamed. Not Lily. She was good. She had always been so good. Sirius couldn’t fool himself the way he did with James. She wasn’t breathing, and she was gone. He couldn’t convince himself otherwise. He forced his cries back and picked up Harry, holding his wand under his arm.  
“Hey, baby,” he said quietly, letting the tears stream down his face silently. “Its okay, I’ve got you,” he whispered, holding the young boy tightly. It wasn’t okay, and it would never be okay, but Harry was one, and he needed to hear that it was okay even if he didn’t quite know what it meant.  
“Pads?” Harry said quietly, his cries stopping.  
“Yeah, Harry, Pads,” Sirius sobbed. “We’ve got to go now, okay?”  
He took Harry out of the room, but Harry started struggling and crying again. “MUMMA!” Harry screamed.  
Sirius felt his heart break. “We’ve got to leave her, Harry, she’s just sleeping, okay?”  
Harry stopped crying, and looked up at Sirius with his big eyes. “Mumma?”  
Sirius forced himself to keep walking and not to look back at Lily. If he looked back at her, he would never leave. “She loves you, Harry,” Sirius said into the boy’s hair. Harry seemed to understand, because he started crying again, but silently, into Sirius’ shoulder.   
As he headed down the stairs, Sirius forced himself not to look down at James. If he glimpsed his best friend, he would never leave him. And he needed to leave him. He needed to take Harry, because that’s what James would have wanted, he told himself, over and over again. He set Harry down on the lounge, and grabbed James and Lily’s wands. Leaving them there felt wrong. The light from his own wand fell on Harry. 

There was a lightening bolt shaped cut on his forehead. 

Sirius reached out to touch it, and as soon as his finger brushed Harry’s skin, the baby screamed.  
“Sorry, Harry, sorry,” Sirius said soothingly, or as soothingly as he could sound, given the situation. He picked up Harry and forced himself out the door.   
He was his godfather. He’d take Harry home, and tell Remus what happened, and they’d raise him. They had to. That’s what James and Lily wanted.   
Sirius was about to apparate away, but it took a moment for him to force himself to leave the house. James and Lily were there, lifeless, and they would never be coming back. They would never laugh together again, or cry together, or drink together, or fight together. They would never see each other again.   
Suddenly, another man arrived. Sirius raised his wand, but recognised that the man was Hagrid.   
“Sirius!” Hagrid called. “Is just me!”  
“Sorry,” Sirius whimpered. “I’m sorry. James and Lily, they’re…” he tried to finish the sentence, but choked on his words. “Gone,” he finished.  
“I know, lad. I know. I’ve got to take Harry to his Aunt’s,” Hagrid explained.Sirius held Harry tighter. “No, you can’t. I’m his godfather. James wanted me to have him.”  
Hagrid shook his head. “Under strict orders from Dumbledore, I am.”  
“Lily HATED her sister!” Sirius protested.  
“I’ve got to take him,” Hagrid said sadly. “It’s a long journey, and he’s got to go, now.”  
Sirius forced himself to breathe. He knew that Harry would never be safe with them. He knew Harry wouldn’t be safe in the Wizarding World until Voldemort was gone, and he would just keep trying until Harry was dead. He was safer with his Aunt, Sirius knew it.  
So for once in his life, he made the mature decision. He kissed Harry on the forehead and whispered “Mumma loves you, Daddy loves you. Pads loves you.” The small boy almost nodded his head.  
“Okay,” Sirius said, looking up at Hagrid. “But take my bike.”

REMUS

Remus sat on the floor of his living room. He’d been sitting there for quite a while, he knew, but it could have been a few minutes, or maybe he’d been there all day. 

Sirius had betrayed them. He’d let James and Lily die. Then he’d killed Peter.

Or at least that’s what everyone thought.

Remus knew Sirius better than anyone. He knew his strengths, and all of his weaknesses. He’d seen him in his darkest places, and he’d seen him surrender. But if there was one thing he knew, it’s that Sirius would have NEVER surrendered to Voldemort.  
Sirius, if nothing else, was fiercely loyal. Fiercely protective. Fierce with love.

Except now he was in Azkaban. His face was plastered all over The Daily Prophet.

Voldemort was gone, and that was all wonderful, but Remus could only think about Sirius. He didn’t know how this happened, or who betrayed James and Lily, because it sure as hell wasn’t Sirius. Sirius would have died before he betrayed his friends.

But now James and Lily were gone. Peter was gone. Marlene and Dorcas were gone. Benjy was gone. Caradoc was gone. The Prewetts were gone. 

And he’d just received word that Alice and Frank had been tortured out of their minds. They’d be in St Mungo’s for the rest of their lives, if they didn’t die in the next few days.

Essentially, Remus was alone. The war was over, so wizard kind could go back to hating werewolves in their spare time. He would now have to live the life he had always been destined to live. He’d beg for jobs, and never keep one. He contemplated throwing himself off a bridge at one point.

Dumbledore had offered him help, but there’s no way he could take it. He couldn’t live off someone else’s salary for the rest of his life, except maybe his husbands. A tear escaped his eye at that thought. He’d never have a husband. Sirius was gone, and there was nothing that he could do about it. 

He’d spend the moons alone. He’d probably go months without speaking to anyone. He might make a friend, but he could never live, properly live, without Sirius.   
The love of his life.His best friend.  
The only person he could ever trust.  
It was all over, and Sirius was alone in a cell in Azkaban, and Remus was alone on the floor of their flat. He couldn’t stay here, not without Sirius. The building was empty now. He couldn’t go back to the pack, he just couldn’t. 

So, really, he was alone. He had no one. The rest of The Order had disbanded, and there wasn’t much that he could do about it. They all had day jobs, after all, and they all had lives to get back to. All of them except Remus.

Remus had no day job, and no life to go back to. He’d never had a life outside of Hogwarts that wasn’t dedicated to The Order, and his friends.  
His friends, who were all fucking gone. All of them. They were either dead, missing and almost definitely never to be seen again (thanks Marlene and Dorcas) or in Azkaban for the rest of Remus’ life. 

Was this what giving up felt like? Is this what it felt like to actually accept that you have no future, and you have to tear yourself apart, alone, for the rest of your life?  
Remus started packing his bags. It felt wrong to stay here without Sirius. He wouldn’t sell the place, that felt wrong too. But it was an empty flat, in an empty building, in an empty world. He heaved his bag onto his shoulder, and took what muggle and wizarding money was left in the flat. He stood in front of the unmade bed and exhaled. Then he walked through the flat, walked out the door, and didn’t look back.

TO BE CONTINUED IN NEXT FIC: MERLIN THESE BOYS ARE IDIOTS: POST-AZKABAN + LIE LOW AT LUPIN'S EDITION

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's over guys. I'm so excited for you to hopefully read the new fic in this series!!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this fic, I love you all SO much xx
> 
> Gabby <3

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are much appreciated!  
> Thank you so much for reading :)
> 
> xo Gabs


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